I believe that every family has encountered the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to a certain extent, but some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are reasonable. When they see the problems adjusted in time, family conflicts will be eliminated in the bud;

However, some people found that the contradiction still went its own way and ignored it until it finally affected the relationship between husband and wife in the newborn family.

Retired mother-in-law, taking care of her son's family

Aunt Liu just turned 55. Although she has retired for several years, these years have not been as easy as going to work. Why? Just look at her daily workload.

Aunt Liu got up early in the morning. The first thing she did when she got up was to run to her son's house and buy some fresh vegetables in the morning market. She has the key to her son's house, which she left when she bought a house. Every time Aunt Liu came, the couple were sleeping and came in without knocking.

Aunt Liu habitually went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast today. Now her daughter-in-law and son are pregnant, so every meal is carefully prepared.

Then I cleaned the room after breakfast, and I knocked at the door to wake the young couple up. In order to lighten their burden, Aunt Liu did almost all the housework, not to mention cooking and cleaning the room. Even he helped her son wash clothes.

Sometimes the daughter-in-law sees it several times, and Aunt Liu feels used to it, and the daughter-in-law is just embarrassed.

The mother-in-law is thankless and causes disputes.

Aunt Liu lives in a neighborhood close to her son's house. She usually stays at her son's house during the day, cleans the room and goes back at night. Sometimes a son can't find anything. Give her a call and you'll find it.

One day, Aunt Liu came to her son's house as usual, but she couldn't open the door with her key, thinking that the door lock was broken and she had to knock. I didn't know until my son opened the door that it was my daughter-in-law who changed the lock.

Aunt Liu didn't care at that time, but when she got home at night, her daughter-in-law didn't mean to give her the key. She vaguely felt abnormal and didn't go to her son's house for the next few days to see what was going on.

Later, I found that the young couple seemed to be very happy about their "not coming to the door". So she told her wife about it, and her wife soon understood that she didn't want you to go unless she gave you the key. They are married, so don't get involved. Is it okay to jump around in the square?

But aunt Liu is still a little hard, and thinks it is wrong for me to wait on them all day! Aunt Liu couldn't resist this day and wanted to go to her son's house to see what was going on.

But as soon as I got to the door, I heard a quarrel: Isn't it just a few clothes? What happened to my mother washing clothes? Your mother, your mother, how old are you? You're still called by your mother all day. I think you are just spoiled. You have never mopped the floor once, and your mother has to wash your underwear. You are too lazy to know how you fell in love in the first place.

Son: We are too busy at work. What's wrong with the old man helping us? You have such a good mother-in-law who doesn't know how to cherish it and changed the door lock. It hurts her more. It's been several days. Would you stop being so narrow-minded?

Daughter-in-law: I just don't want her to come I'm tired of being watched all day! She couldn't sleep late at the weekend, but she came in without saying hello. Do I have privacy? My own home, I can't find this for a while, and I can't find that for a while.

Besides, how old are you now and do you still need your mother to take care of you? Can you take care of him if you have a child? Your mother can't walk anymore. Who will take care of you? You have to learn to be independent, okay?

Aunt Liu listened and didn't say a word. She didn't expect her daughter-in-law to be so dissatisfied with herself. It was her son's words that completely destroyed her: "What can I do? She is my mother. " It seems that what she did can only be described by words such as interference and aggression, which is really thankless.

Old people should have a life of old age, and young people should have a world of young people, but do young people really need the help of old people?

Later, Aunt Liu also figured it out and quit their lives. After returning home, she and her wife signed up for a tour group. The whole journey lasted for 7 or 8 days. He told the story to his son, who was surprised, but didn't say anything.

Later, Aunt Liu noticed that people her age were doing well. Getting up early, exercising, keeping in good health, and hobbies that I didn't have time to do before, and enjoying a slow life with my wife is also a wonderful thing.

Aunt Liu looked forward to the future and gradually forgot her son. But this day my son and daughter-in-law came to me. The daughter-in-law said apologetically, mom, you won't be angry because I changed the lock some time ago and forgot to give you the key, will you?

Aunt Liu smiled calmly. Now I don't blame you. Young people have a young life! Can understand. I have found a new way of life now. Your father and I have been busy for most of our lives, and now it's time to enjoy our own life. Maybe I will spend less time at your place in the future.

But if you need me, just call. I'll get there as soon as possible. Take the key back first. When I arrive at your place, I will call in advance.

On the other hand, Aunt Liu told her son that since she was married, she should also do her duty as a husband and father. You can't expect anyone to do anything for you anymore. You have to change this problem. I'm so used to it that I won't care about you in the future. My mother regretted not knowing about it earlier.

After listening to Aunt Liu's words, my son and daughter-in-law were very moved. Since then, they have officially left their families and returned to their own lives.

Actually, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not irreconcilable. Most of the reasons why they are generally difficult to get along with now are inseparable from these five points.

First of all, there is no dividing line

Sometimes distance can produce beauty, and there are not so many problems and contradictions when we are not together. As the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind. Some old people are used to taking care of their sons since childhood, so if they suddenly let go, they will naturally integrate into their son's family and are prone to problems.

Second, the young couple are not independent and rely too much on the elderly.

Today's small families are too dependent on the older generation. If they need help from others and don't want to be controlled, it is easy to cause conflicts.

To get rid of this dilemma, we must do two things well, 1, be self-reliant and not depend on the elderly economically. 2, it is not an obligation for the elderly to take care of their children. It's good that my mother-in-law can help. If she can't help, she and her husband can solve it, and she has nothing to complain about.

Third, men's inaction.

There will be contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is inseparable from the inaction of the man in the middle.

Most men will do two wrong things: 1, ignoring the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, letting it develop freely, or even avoiding it. 2, will not line up, always biased towards one side, saying that the daughter-in-law is wrong in front of the mother-in-law, and saying that the mother is wrong in front of the daughter-in-law, this will only intensify.

Fourthly, the concepts of newborn family and family of origin are confused.

Many women have a prominent misunderstanding that giving birth to children is the business of their mother-in-law and husband. Actually, I want to say no. Although the surname is the husband's surname, it is not for her husband and mother-in-law. From the time you get married, you have your own newborn family, and this newborn family is also responsible for the birth of the child.

Fifth, the concept difference is too great, and one side is too strong.

After all, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are people with two concepts, and it is normal to disagree with the same thing ideologically. But if one side is too strong to be flexible, everything should be done as I say. Then, contradictions will follow.

What other problems do you think have led to the escalation of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law