I am a freelancer. I spend most of my time alone. My wife goes to work every day, and I often stay at home alone.
Over the years, I have gained a deeper understanding of this lifestyle. Here is my personal feeling.
Let's talk about the advantages and disadvantages of my life alone.
Advantages of being alone: you can stay away from noise, let yourself calm down and concentrate on what you like, and your work efficiency is very high and meticulous.
You can think about many things by yourself and get a good idea or inspiration quickly.
Disadvantages: if you stay alone for a long time, you will be a little withdrawn. You don't like to communicate with people and participate in group activities. You don't talk much. It is easy for you to be isolated from the outside world and feel alienated from your relatives and friends. You are often mistaken for lofty.
Fortunately, I am not very serious, otherwise it will affect my physical and mental health, and I will be depressed and autistic in severe cases.
I still go out to communicate with people when there is something on the construction site, and I also take time to travel with my family for a few days every year, which is good for me.
So I think it's good to be alone once in a while. Don't overdo it. It's bad for yourself and your family, and it's bad for your health and work. Can move freely, positive and cheerful. Only in this way can we be more energetic in our work and study and give full play to ourselves.
Proper solitude is conducive to personal improvement.
The reason for this is the following：
On the one hand, for external behavior:
The brain needs a good thinking environment for deep thinking. Generally speaking, inner peace is conducive to in-depth and orderly thinking, which is inseparable from the state of solitude.
For reading, in most cases, quiet and single-minded need a personal space. The lifestyle that likes to be alone provides such a convenient environment.
As far as planning is concerned, the weekly plan and the monthly plan we make all require personal reflection and a clear understanding of the whole thing, which is inseparable from personal thinking and handling.
On the other hand, thinking about inner life:
"I visit my body three times a day" tells us that internal life activities cannot be separated from reflection, and reflection requires a lonely way of personal thinking activities.
However, too much solitude is not conducive to personal development.
on the one hand
Super strong love of solitude will increase the possibility of depression becoming a disease; Excessive long-term dependence on a lonely lifestyle is likely to cause obstacles to interpersonal relationships. Some people are unwilling to communicate with others and have bad interpersonal relationships.
on the other hand
Almost zero loneliness often lacks self-awareness. Imagine how a person who can hardly be alone can have time to spend too much time on my daily self-reflection. Even if there is, it is often not deep enough.
Counting the history, successful celebrities in any field have only perfected their solitary lifestyle. Laozi, a thinker, Xiong Shili, a philosopher, and Luxun, a writer, all like an appropriate solitary lifestyle.
However, due to the lack of loneliness, self-awareness and rebellious spirit, Qin Gui, Cao Zhengchun and others eventually became sinners.
In a word, it is a bright way to enjoy a solitary lifestyle to have a suitable and reasonable way of being alone, develop yourself in a three-dimensional way and then contribute to society.
I am glad to be invited to answer this question, which happened to be discussed with my colleagues not long ago. With the progress of society, people nowadays like to emphasize self and independence more and more. More and more people like to be "quiet" and travel alone. Couples usually need their own privacy ... personally, it's good.
Humans have two kinds of loneliness:
The first is that individuals need to be alone;
The second is passive and helpless loneliness.
The first kind of solitude is the need of individuals, because people are gregarious species. Nowadays, in the face of fierce competition, complicated staffing and high-speed development environment ... we are often physically and mentally exhausted and often have no choice but to face loneliness. So, at an appropriate time, sitting in bars and coffee shops with the door closed, backpacking or alone, drinking a cup of tea, enjoying the local customs along the way, ordering a small glass of wine and listening to light music ... Let go of the tired body and mind, watch the busy pedestrians, calmly think about the next life, and think about how to deal with the problems encountered ... It is a promotion for individuals, a spiritual purification, and is of great benefit to personal progress and the relationship between husband and wife.
The second kind of passive and helpless loneliness. For example, being squeezed out by colleagues in the office, being ignored by classmates at school, being looked down upon by people at the bottom of society, being abandoned by children when they are old and sick ... This kind of loneliness is helpless, passive and useless. I hope the world is full of love, love and hope.
Different people have different opinions. Please advise us on the shortcomings.
Since you like this lifestyle, there should be many benefits for a person. What kind of people like to be alone? Some people may have to stay indoors for ten days and a half to write articles. Others will think that this person likes to be alone. Some people have low incomes, friends have dinners and classmates get together less. Others will say that this person is quiet and unsociable. There is a world of difference between initiative and passivity. Active choice of solitude is the need of survival.
Each has its advantages and disadvantages. For example, in this epidemic, being alone is to contribute to the country. Being good at communicating with others is also a good habit. Everyone has different living habits and methods, so do what he likes.
Hello, friend. The following is the note of an old friend of the counselor. I'm happy to answer your question.
Here, my friend, you mentioned "like a lonely lifestyle." Can I understand that you really tend to choose a person, but you are not sure whether a person is better or not, so you are entangled in your heart?
Well, here I may feel that, my friend, you already feel that "being alone is not good", and then this kind of thinking makes you don't know how to choose.
So, my friend, you're here to ask yourself questions.
What is the real problem behind this time?
1, obviously I want to be alone, why should I care?
2. I choose my own life, why should I ask other people's opinions?
3. Why do I have to choose a good one?
4. Why am I not motivated to carry out my choice and get support by asking questions?
Then, behind these four questions, I will think that you, my friend, are a person who can't support yourself, lack control over yourself, have no right to decide your own life, lack self-identity, are not independent emotionally and ideologically, and want to live as a "public".
This may be more important than being alone.
Because in the final analysis, any lifestyle has advantages and disadvantages. So no matter what we choose, what matters is not the choice itself, but whether we can interact with it well.
In other words, if a friend goes into loneliness with such doubts, you may not gain benefits, but more incomprehension of yourself, and the pressure on the current attack is increasing.
So the meaning is actually very simple. At first, we may not realize that we have a choice, so we just do something according to our own preferences. When we know that we can choose, we may not be able to live in harmony with the choice, thus creating a mutually beneficial situation, so we should provide the ability at this time; Then the ability is improved, and you can choose a lifestyle that matches your ability; Then our ability will be further improved and we will be able to live in harmony with various lifestyles.
Then, the focus of the problem here is no longer whether a person is good or not, but whether you can live in harmony with a person, mutual benefit, friend.
To put it bluntly, it means whether you can agree with your choice. No matter what others say, you will stick to your choice and have the ability to gain positive influence in the interaction of choice.
Thank you, my friend, for reading. I hope my answer will help you see the real world clearly. Best wishes.
I think it's good. If you choose to be alone, it must be because it relaxes you. You don't have to cater to the external code of conduct, but you can go to your heart. Although it won't be lively, you will have a person's happiness, and this will keep you passionate about life. In fact, to measure how strong a person's heart is, it depends on whether he can be alone. To measure a person's style, you can look at what he does when he is alone. You know, a self-disciplined life can get the life you want. I'd like to make some personal suggestions about being alone:
1. Keep learning one skill and you won't be overwhelmed by many skills.
2. Pay attention to health and fitness. You know, you can enjoy your future life without a healthy body.
Cultivating and sticking to one or two hobbies will enrich your life and give you enough spiritual food.
4. Take more photos or videos or write a diary to record your life. It is a wonderful thing to savor when you are old, just like showing a movie in your mind to your life, which belongs only to you.
I hope this solution will help you. Thank you.
I have been alone for six years, cooking, eating, going to work, playing ball games and cleaning every day. On holidays, I pack my bags and travel, go to the city I want to visit, see the scenery I want to see and eat the food I want to eat ... I don't attend other parties except for two close friends who get together occasionally, and I also turn off my mobile phone after work. I have had a fever once and food poisoning three times in the past six years, but I'm glad I survived. From being fond of excitement to being used to being alone, from being fond of joking to being unwilling to say more useless words, my personality has changed. I don't trust anyone easily, I don't please anyone, I don't get it or struggle. Live for yourself, not others. Everyone is born for the first time. Although there is a lot of helplessness, try to live the life you want.
Glad to answer this question and answer. Like a lonely lifestyle, okay? My answer is: no.
Things live in groups. Since ancient times, people have always settled in groups, such as a village or a city. They like living alone, but rarely, probably because they have unknown problems. Being alone is the same as living alone. If a person is used to being alone, it's like shutting a person in the house and keeping away from people and things outside. He doesn't know the world, and he doesn't know anything, just like a frog in a well. Under the influence of some bad things, it is normal to want to be alone, because he needs a person to think and think clearly. If he is still alone, he will be very lonely. How can a normal person stand loneliness?
Therefore, I personally think it is not good to like living alone, just like the Qing government in China, which implemented a closed-door policy and let the Qing dynasty slowly decline. I like being alone, and I will be kicked out of the door by life slowly in the future.
But there is no difference between good and bad in any state, and the most important thing is to make yourself most comfortable at the moment. People who like to be alone have more time to spend with themselves. They have friends, they are not lonely, and they don't hate being with others. They have higher standards in choosing friends. People who like to be alone have many advantages that people who are afraid of being alone don't have. People who like to be alone have a strong sense of time. Time is of unparalleled importance to the lonely. They respect time and value it more than anything else, because they know very well that success is the most precious wealth of a successful life.