However, when browsing the recruitment website, an inexplicable fear arises-there is basically no market for people over 35.
Those pseudo-youths who bear the burden of old and young finally understand that they are still middle-aged in the eyes of others.
Under the attack of internal and external forces, seeking the happiness of middle-aged people has become a high fever problem in Zhihu.
We can't help asking, what is the happiness of middle-aged people? Where is happiness?
In fact, our happiness index has long been blurred, and every happiness experience is improvisation. Looking for it, I can't escape the four major crises of middle age.
A business that supports the family.
Hopeful children
Harmonize health
Wandering love
An occupation on the brink of danger
"Don't scold young people loudly, they will resign immediately, but you can scold those middle-aged people to death, especially those who have cars, houses and babies."
In the film Rhapsody in July, Mr. Lin, played by Jacky Cheung, is a middle school Chinese teacher who has been teaching and educating people conscientiously.
However, when the headmaster announced that the school would develop into "science and engineering" in the future and weaken liberal arts education, he could only accept it indifferently. He knows that his future is bleak, but he can't change it.
How easy is it to resist? This ordinary Chinese teacher has no courage to discuss with the headmaster.
There is no other reason. There is a full-time unemployed wife and two fledgling teenagers at home. He can only submit to humiliation, turn short pain into long pain, and turn forbearance into habit.
It is true that as an ordinary middle-aged man, he is 40 years old. If he has not made achievements in the industry, he is still doing the same basic work as young people who have just entered the industry. It can be said that the moat of the workplace has not yet been established.
What can I do if I don't swallow it
But patience is not giving up. Middle-aged people should face up to their own limits, put down their faces and start from the heart.
1, in the workplace, cool down your once arrogant self;
2. From beginning to end, don't let your impulse upset the boat.
Yes, "income is king" is the core logic of family survival. Only by changing yourself and reducing your desire can you set sail again.
1, after all, you can't show your ability and earn commission by working overtime;
2. Deeply cultivate a field and become a deep explorer in this field. When others encounter problems, we are the answers.
Patience is a virtue, but it is also an investment, investing in the future, not just for patience!
Children who invest more in production than in output.
Lee Kuan Yew, the founding father of Singapore, once said, "People decide 70%-80% of their lives from the moment they are born, and education and training after tomorrow will account for up to 20%. People are born unequal. "
This sentence once caused an uproar in Singapore, but as a realist of three generations of elites, Lee Kuan Yew is indeed qualified to say so.
In fact, every parent will be moved whenever they see other children talking in English Kan Kan on the stage.
No matter how much learning resources are invested, it seems that children will never reach the expected height.
However, as a 40-year-old middle-aged parent, please review your 10 years of schooling. How many bright spots have there been?
How to solve your worries?
1, start from yourself, put down your mobile phone and experience the learning journey with your children;
The moment a child steps into the door of a training institution is by no means the beginning of self-release.
We only pay attention to academic performance, but we have never experienced the ups and downs of this road with our children.
Only through common experience can we have an objective and clear understanding of children's learning ability. Only by experiencing it together can we understand how much effort each progress needs.
Studying with children is the best parent-child experience.
2. Be a good boy's listener and cheer for every growth.
Although genes determine our intelligence level, they cannot determine our attitude towards life.
In the movie Farewell My Concubine, the lazy bones said with tears in their eyes when they saw that the famous Peking Opera actor was loved by thousands of people. "How many times does this take?"
Angular, really charming; But be your own? Superstar? It is also a milestone in the fulfillment of life.
In order to speak perfect English, please give your children a round of applause when they are frowning and stuttering.
Yes, he may never speak at TED, but he deserves recognition from his family.
Without accumulation, there is a journey of thousands of miles, and every small progress of children needs our timely feedback. Growth is not a moment, it is made up of countless circular fragments.
Recognizing children's progress is more important than imagining success.
Uncontrolled health expectations
"The biggest mistake that human beings can make is to exchange health for something other than the body." -Schopenhauer
Regarding this sentence, many people think it is a "management abandonment" to health. From a scientific point of view, human beings have a natural preference for "sweets, laziness and entertainment".
In the face of many temptations, our brains will release dopamine continuously, which will stimulate us to instinctively give up resistance and unconsciously forget our health.
C Ronaldo has always insisted on eating low-sugar food, because for him, "making money" with a healthy body may stimulate dopamine secretion more than "sweets".
As middle-aged people, the state of the body is inevitably declining, which we can only delay but cannot reverse.
In fact, on the opposite side of "abandoning management", there is another kind of paranoia about health-"excessive demand".
Some middle-aged people walk sideways, hoping to catch up with the young body in a quantitative way, but the result is tragedy.
James Fix, known as the father of jogging, was the author of 1977 "Running Encyclopedia" and the top star in the running field of that era. He claims that long-distance running every day can prolong life.
Ironically, 1984 died of a heart attack after completing a routine run.
The great man started running at the age of 35. Before that, he had a bad habit of smoking. Although he successfully gave up smoking, the damage to his health already existed.
Even more deadly, he is a patient with hereditary congenital heart disease.
In this way, in middle age, I didn't have an objective and clear understanding of my body, and it was really embarrassing to try to reverse Gan Kun through brute force.
Temperance is a basic skill of adults. Be able to say no to bad habits, but don't be too hard on yourself.
Accept yourself in reality, cherish your body and fear the power of nature.
? The most common health of middle-aged people is the cornerstone of family happiness.
Buddhist love without desire and desire
"The reason why there is unswerving love and the spirit of loyalty to the liver and righteousness in the world is because the time is quite short and the party can support it. It's not easy to have a dutiful son before a hospital bed for a long time. The beauty of everything lies in' no time to go bad'. " Lilian Lee
Keeping the freshness of love is an unreachable spiritual journey in itself.
Middle-aged people have long been crushed by the above three mountains. From another angle, maybe those three mountains are the blockhouses of middle-aged couples.
Obsessed with mobile phones certainly affects the quality of life, but this small screen will also become the last barrier for cohabiting parties. Because of their obsession, they forgot that both sides were tacitly unwilling to touch the body that was once full of reverie.
In Kubrick's Eyes Wide shut, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, a middle-aged couple, are also tired of each other because of time. The trouble is, there were no cell phones at that time, so they could only paralyze their frozen love nerves by smoking marijuana.
In the movie, middle-class Cruise wants to seek physical stimulation by attending a mysterious party, while Kidman can only regain his expectation of love in his spring dream.
These two celebrities in the real world have been separated for many years, not to mention our naked middle-aged people.
Is there any possibility of redemption in middle-aged marriage?
In the movie Love Myth, middle-aged Xu zhēng can unconsciously shuttle between three ordinary women.
There is a simple reason. He is a single father, so he is not responsible for others, and others hold the same view.
They are so real and grounded, so they can touch a little taste of love and passion.
As a middle-aged man with a family, children and parents, the wisest way to live may not be to find the sea that was once in trouble.
But to face the dull family life-dilute love and sublimate affection.
Many times, it's not that middle-aged people don't want to fight for it, not to mention that the wind is light and the clouds are light, but that they are incompetent, weak in character and boundless in desire.
But it is precisely because of the "home" that middle-aged people can use this "harbor of mind" to cover up their weakness, neutralize their hopeless ambitions, melt into the "spirit of Ah Q", admit their commonness and unload their burdens.
But I always have hope, and I will do my best.
Life is an experience, and there will be "soul torture" about happiness at every stage of life. From the day we can think, this pursuit of "certain happiness" has never stopped.
In fact, the happiness of middle-aged people is no longer a "personal experience" or a sleepless night excited by "personal success".
The carrier of happiness has quietly shifted from individual empathy to family, the happiness of a happy family, so I will be happy.
You don't understand the happiness of middle-aged people with mental disorders.
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