Chapter 1: Experts analyze the reasons why China people are "thin-skinned".
Chapter two: "thin skin" is a double-edged sword.
Chapter 3: Don't be too thin-skinned in today's society.
Most people in China are "thin-skinned". Do you know why they are thin-skinned? Thin face, okay. What about thin face? Today, Bian Xiao will answer your questions and tell you about "thin skin". Let's have a look.
Experts analyze the reasons why China people are "thin-skinned"
A father took his well-dressed son to a friend's party, and the other children were very polite. He must think that his children are really rolling on the grass. Father can't wait to leave with his disappointing dog. Seeing this life scene, people may say, "How thin this guy is!" In fact, it is not uncommon for people around us to be "thin-skinned". The so-called cosmetic surgery is just a phenomenon derived from China people's psychological externalization. The underlying reason is that China people are more reserved and have more "face".
Traditional enlightenment advocates implication.
China people's implicit tradition goes back to ancient times. One of the core of Confucianism is "ceremony", including the ceremony of monarch and minister, the ceremony of father and son and the ceremony of husband and wife. What it wants to express is that one must strictly abide by moral education. Modest and prudent people should be respected; "Arrogant people" must be suppressed. The "arrogant people" here are those who bravely express their feelings and opinions in society, and sometimes even have no scruples.
As moral education permeates every detail of public life and is constantly strengthened and consolidated, most people in China believe that only being a low-key and introverted person can conform to traditional norms. Therefore, implication has become a recognized virtue of most people in China.
Care about other people's opinions
Most people in China value face. When dealing with people, if something embarrassing happens, you will feel ashamed. This is because, in the long feudal society, people basically ruled the world, and our words and deeds were subject to public comments. So many people in China are very concerned about other people's opinions. Once others feel that they have done something wrong, they will feel ashamed. Therefore, many people are afraid of losing face in front of others, so they dare not speak more and are unwilling to express their feelings on their own initiative.
In interpersonal communication, many people are afraid that they will show goodwill first, and the other party will lose face if they don't accept it. In this way, it is better to be passive, first look at what others do, and then follow suit. So many people in China often don't take the initiative when they talk or do things.
"Thin skin" is a double-edged sword.
We can't say whether "thin skin" is good or bad in general. In fact, it is more like a double-edged sword.
On the positive side, it is a manifestation of observing social morality. If a person is down-to-earth, modest in everything and does not deliberately publicize, he will integrate into society more smoothly. Besides, "thin skin" is a way of introspection. Just because these people don't talk doesn't mean that their thoughts are not influenced by the outside world. In fact, they are more accustomed to giving themselves enough time to save themselves whether they have followed the established moral norms and what aspects should be adjusted.
On the negative side, "thin skin" is tantamount to building a "shield" for self-protection. Some people are too self-protective in interpersonal communication and don't express their ideas easily. This excessive psychological protection will make people at the meeting think that you are dishonest and scheming. Slowly, people will stay away from you, which will make you feel lonely and insecure. And because you always don't express your opinions, you not only bury your good suggestions, but also make people feel that you have no ideas, no ideas and no brains.
Therefore, "thin skin" should be moderate. When you have to give others face, shut your mouth; If you have the opportunity, you should be brave enough to express your views and live and act according to your own wishes.
Don't be too thin-skinned in today's society.
"How can you be so cheeky!"
If someone says this to you, do you think he is scolding you or praising you? Anyway, as long as I'm out of my mind, I won't take it as a good word.
But I have to admit that times have changed. On many occasions now, it is really bad to be cheeky, at least, just like studying for an mba.
Thick skin is an essential quality for managers.
Of course, this is not to make you brazen, but to make you boldly "have the courage" to speak in class. Even if you get the wrong answer, you won't change your mind: "have the courage" to speak in front of a room full of strangers and turn a blind eye to tomatoes and rotten eggs that may fly in.
Sounds like training politicians. But in fact, this is also one of the necessary qualities for future managers. Imagine that you graduate from mba and become a senior manager of a multinational company. If one day you are ordered to report to the ceo and the board of directors, but you walk into the conference room shivering, you just can't speak or stammer, and you can't express your feelings. Is this not a joke?
Don't laugh yet, there are such people. China's traditional culture emphasizes restraint and discouragement, and discourages "showing off" and "modesty and low-key". Therefore, most China people born in 1960s and 1970s never speak actively in class and are not good at speaking to a group of people. Many people blush as soon as they stand on the platform, and even say a series of self-deprecating words before they start, for fear that others will think they are too thick-skinned.
The quality of this cultural tradition cannot be generalized, because it depends on the external environment after all. But in the mba class, this attitude is definitely unacceptable.
Take the case analysis as an example. Professors will ask questions when explaining cases, but most of them have no standard answers. As long as you can justify yourself, your answer will be affirmed. Moreover, the more the truth is debated, the more students participate in the speech, the greater the chance of different viewpoints colliding, and the more things we can learn from it. Even though your answer was not affirmed by the professor, it inspired other students. Who can laugh at you?
There are several China students in my class, but many of them are silent about the case analysis of strategies, marketing and other courses. The reason for this situation is either that I am worried about my poor language, or because of my listening and cultural background, I can't accurately understand other people's views, and I don't know where to start when I want to speak. But in my opinion, it is still a big psychological problem to be thin-skinned, afraid of being laughed at if I say something wrong, or unable to express my thoughts freely in English.
Me too. Although I think my language ability is not bad, I suddenly entered a brand-new environment, and the content I contacted was more professional, so my ability to understand and accept would decline. I tried to raise my hand to speak, but when the content of my speech was strongly refuted by other students, especially when I thought my point of view could not stand scrutiny, I still unconsciously thought "I won't raise my hand next time"!
It's better to say than not to say.
I admit, this is a psychological obstacle that needs great courage to overcome. However, the school also has a way to "deal with" you. I heard that in Harvard Business School, class performance is included in the total grade of the course, forcing you to raise your hand and speak. Harvard's philosophy is that speaking out is the most important thing. Even if it is wrong, it is better than nothing.
It doesn't matter if you don't go to Harvard. Those who dare to speak in class or act as the keynote speaker in ppt presentations will always leave a deep impression on teachers. Now, you must be familiar with your product first. You said a lot in class. When you report in groups, you rush to give lectures. Can't you meet the professor? Think of it as selling yourself! I finally got the demonstration homework of several courses. At that time, I thought it was over, but I met some teachers of two courses on the way. They greeted me and said I was "well spoken". I don't know if this is polite, but the purpose of "getting to know each other" has always been achieved! Until now, I have kept in touch with these teachers for several years after graduation.
It is said that the so-called post-80s generation did a good job. Judging from some college and middle school students I have contacted, their desire for self-expression is much stronger than that of me at that time. Regardless of their professional level, at least in terms of "face", they have reached the admission standard of mba.
Summary: Living in today's society, there are good and bad "thin skin", so we should not be too thin-skinned. Only when we are moderately thick can we enjoy ourselves and live a better life! (The article was originally published in Health Guide, serial number: 2065438+February 2002, by Zhongxin, and the copyright belongs to the author; The purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 360 Common Sense Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. Please contact us as soon as possible if it involves content, copyright and other issues, and we will delete the content as soon as possible)