After five months together, there were some minor quarrels, and he was quite accommodating and good to me. But he can smoke and drink, and I don't agree with some concepts. I feel that he is not motivated. He usually goes to work easily, but he spends a lot of money and doesn't like sports after work. He drinks tea and plays games with his friends every day. He has no ideal.
I pay more attention to health and tell him to smoke less, drink more and exercise more. He promised well, but he didn't do it. Usually, she is very sweet-talking, which girls like to hear. I am very distressed, contradictory! My ideal partner has ideals, loves life and has a sense of responsibility. I feel that he is not what I expected.
I communicated with my parents and said I wanted to give up. He has met my parents now, and my parents think his family economy is ok. Considering that I am busy at work, the elderly can help with the children in the future.
My parents began to worry about getting married when I was 25 years old. My parents always say that I am not young, and I almost understand. After this time, I have feelings, but I am indecisive and always hesitant. I'm afraid I'll have a different opinion after I get married. What should I do if I am unhappy in the future?
Cui Lei commented:
Your current situation is the sexual situation of all the "older young women" at present. Eating in the countryside, growing up in the countryside and living in the countryside, the natural environment doomed the villagers to dictate your marriage and be labeled as unmarried. To get rid of this state, either you leave this environment or you accept the rules of this environment.
Analysis 1
In first-tier cities, people are very tolerant of marriage. You are only 26 years old. Even if you are 28 years old, there are many singles over 30 years old. First-tier cities can make a person grow up quickly in a short time, whether it is emotion, vision, contacts, resources and so on. , mainly depends on everyone's pursuit.
You are troubled by urging your parents to get married, which shows that you are not reconciled to this arranged blind date mode. You said that although he is kind to you, he is not self-motivated and has unhealthy living habits. You think he is good to you, but he has something that makes you dissatisfied, and both parents have met, so you have been struggling.
I can use a metaphor to tell you your current situation: you don't want to be so fat and want to lose weight, but you think this bed is very comfortable, so you are also struggling. You also said in your question that he is very sweet, so the reason why you don't want to leave this "nest" may also be because he has provided you with high emotional value.
I suggest you figure out what kind of life you want to live in the future, first figure out what kind of life you want, and then decide what kind of environment you want to live in and with what kind of people. After all, it is impossible to get married, so we should consider it carefully.
Analysis 2
I think there are two reasons why you are not considering getting married now:
1. Now your idea of getting married is not generated by you, but given to you by the outside world. You're dubious. You're not sure whether to marry him or not.
As for your parents urging you, they are worried that it will be difficult for you to get married in the future. Although it is for you to some extent, you should honestly express the difficulties and entanglements between you and your parents and express that your parents can understand. I believe they also don't want their daughters to get married casually, otherwise there will be various contradictions after marriage and the life of the elderly will be very difficult.
2. You like a man who has ideals, loves life and is responsible, but smokes and drinks, has bad living habits and is not self-motivated. His current living habits and circle of friends are not what you like. On the whole, you don't think you are suitable.
I think you expected too much from him at first, or you asked too much. Your parents say that he has a good family, so you can just find a decent marriage, but people with good family naturally can't meet your requirements in some aspects.
You are very concerned about the stability of your married life. Your key point is to hope that the other person is a healthy and motivated man and will consider living at home. If you really feel that you are not suitable, I mind that you communicate with your parents first, tell them what you are not suitable for, and then decide for yourself whether he can be your long-term choice. If not, stop loss in time.
I suggest that when you choose the other half in the future, you should first understand one of the other's living habits and see if he is your ideal object. As for the problem of parents urging marriage, I think you can persuade them to give you more time to choose your favorite object.