Chapter 1: Don't be too anxious in life.
Chapter 2: Change the attitude towards life.
Chapter 3: Smile of Life
In the long life, there are always some people who will be overly anxious. What are the personality characteristics of anxious people? In view of such characteristics, how can we improve their anxiety symptoms?
There is no need to be too anxious in life.
Eight characteristics of suspicious personality
On the characteristics of anxious personality.
We often see people with excessive anxiety in our lives. They can't be called anxious patients yet, but it is appropriate to say that they are "anxious personalities" or "anxious people".
What are the characteristics of "anxious personality" or "anxious person"?
Their general feature is that all their psychological activities are full of deep anxiety. They are anxious positions, anxious thinking, wearing anxious colored glasses to observe all kinds of things about them or not.
Specifically, they mainly have six characteristics:
First, always exaggerate the real problems and dangers.
For example, there is a danger of plane crash, but the tiny probability will never affect the millions of people who fly around every day. However, anxious people will greatly exaggerate this danger and think that every plane may fall. Therefore, they will inevitably worry about flying. For example, living in a high-rise building is in danger of fire. This low probability of danger will never affect the normal life of most people. But for anxious people, every tall building they enter and leave has an exaggerated fire risk, so they always pay special attention.
Second, anxious people are always in eternal and uninterrupted progress.
He thought of the future prematurely before everything happened. China has a saying, take off your pants 20 miles from the river. Every time I wade across the river, I take off my pants before I'm ready for 20 miles. Everything is like this.
Therefore, anxious people always work harder than others.
Third, anxious people think the worst of everything.
Although he rationally arranges the possibility of things, he always decides the worst consequences, or at least thinks that the worst consequences are possible.
Anxious people always try their best to take all measures to face problems and prevent dangers. They often like to worry too much.
5. Anxious people are particularly prone to react strongly to uncontrollable, unpredictable and even uncertain things. They always hope that everything is under their control and vision, and it is quite certain. Things beyond their control or vague prospects will make them particularly anxious. This has the characteristics of compulsive personality.
Anxious personality may often be obsessive-compulsive personality at the same time.
Social significance of anxious personality.
Anxiety personality develops into physical symptoms, which are uncomfortable here and there. Will it develop into anxiety disorder?
Anxiety has two aspects, one is anxiety, and the other is related physical symptoms such as autonomic nervous disorder. Anxious people generally don't realize what their excessive anxiety is. Only when they suffer from anxiety one day can they look back on their long-term excessive anxiety.
Moderate anxiety is necessary for a person. Now, we can also say that the "excessive anxiety" of anxious people is also beneficial to some extent. For example, they are more inclined to avoid accidents, dangers and failures, they may do things more comprehensively, and they are always prepared.
For a group, anxious people often make special contributions.
For example, in a family, anxious people consider various security issues and survival issues, while others can relax and live and work in peace.
For a large group, such as a company, an army, a government, some anxious people want to make all the preparations, which is definitely beneficial to the overall situation. With their existence, we can eliminate all kinds of hidden dangers and avoid more mistakes and dangers.
It's just that they work too hard.
The same is true of the whole human society, which needs a group of people with excessive anxiety. Because most people may lack enough anxiety on many issues, such as environmental pollution, resources, nuclear leakage and AIDS, human society needs some anxious people to spread anxiety.
However, there is a limit to going too far, and being too sure is a sin. For example, anxiety about getting rich pervades the whole society in China. This kind of anxiety is the driving force of social progress. However, anyone who is eager to steal, rob, take risks or break the law is a crime. If the first-level government or the whole society ignores the destructive development of the ecological environment, resources and environment, it is also a crime, because it is robbing future generations.
People's anxiety can be divided into three levels. First, normal people have normal anxiety; Second, anxious personality has excessive anxiety; Third, anxiety disorder becomes mental illness because of excessive anxiety.
How to determine whether you are an anxiety disorder according to the psychological definition?
There are two definitions of psychological anxiety, one is the extensive and persistent anxiety that makes people feel unreasonable, and the other is those autonomic symptoms.
In addition, according to the introduction of related books, anxiety disorder has had more than a dozen aliases in 100 years, such as irritating heart, cardiac neurosis, cardiovascular neurasthenia, neurasthenia, vasomotor neurosis, soldier heart failure syndrome and so on. Almost all of them are talking about all kinds of sensitive reactions inside.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder and hypochondria can also cause anxiety, but they should not be diagnosed as anxiety.
No matter obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, phobia, hypochondria, there are manifestations of anxiety. Anxiety is the core of all kinds of neurosis.
For example, if you have a nosebleed and go to the hospital, the doctor will casually say a word about cerebral hemorrhage, which will cause your fear of hypertension; Later, you went to the hospital to see arrhythmia, and some doctors' casual remarks and some corresponding examinations and treatments aggravated your suspicion and anxiety about heart disease.
These diseases caused by medical treatment are called "iatrogenic diseases".
The patient is very sensitive to the doctor's words, especially on cardiovascular problems. When a person's mood is affected, the tumor may not grow immediately, but it will cause changes in blood pressure and heart rhythm at the moment.
Hypertension, cerebral hemorrhage and coronary heart disease can have such a great impact on people because they predict death.
Death anxiety is the most fundamental anxiety, but it usually turns into other general anxiety. For example, if you can't earn enough money and buy enough insurance, you will be anxious. In fact, you are afraid that once you get sick, there are not enough medical conditions to prevent your death. For example, when you feel that your work ability is not as good as before, you are anxious that you are getting old and dying.
About hypochondriac tendency or hypochondriac quality.
Morita believes that some people are hypochondriacs and will introspect, while others are not hypochondriacs. These people are extroverted and not introspective. But we can say more thoroughly that hypochondriac tendencies or hypochondriac traits are common to everyone, but to different degrees. People who are prone to severe depression may become depressed with a slight setback. People with mild depression will only show it when they encounter greater setbacks.
If your blood pressure has been high for a while, it is particularly high in front of the doctor, slightly lower at home, and it is also high and low. After a while, your blood pressure will be completely normal.
Did you notice your emotional state when you took your blood pressure?
The higher the blood pressure, the higher the result.
Because there is an inexplicable tension before every blood pressure test, I am afraid that my blood pressure is high. This emotional change has clearly revealed that your high blood pressure at that time was actually caused by mental stress. Mental stress is essentially obsessive-compulsive disorder. You are trying to lower your blood pressure, which is a subjective desire that does not conform to the laws of nature. The more afraid I am of testing high blood pressure, the more I need it, several times a day.
An example of measuring blood pressure is a typical psychological law of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Think back, when you have arrhythmia because of anxiety, do you often feel your pulse every day? What's your mood when you feel your pulse, just in case?
When you feel uncomfortable, palpitation or heartbeat, you often feel the pulse immediately. I was lucky when my pulse was timed. I hope there is no premature beat. Results The more pulse beat, the more premature beats. Sometimes I feel flustered, my heart beats and my chest feels uncomfortable. It's all over, Ann.
It can be said that the pulse number several times a day aggravated arrhythmia to a great extent.
Blood pressure is a profound example. Pulse is another profound example. It shows that our psychology is rebellious.
We can call it the "psychological inverse law".
Give a third example.
Some people are more or less afraid of heights, and they will feel dizzy and nervous when looking down from tall buildings. At this time, you watched it, but you didn't watch it. This is a very common natural phenomenon. If you have to prove that you are not afraid of heights and force yourself to look down again and again, the psychological inverse law will work. The more you push yourself, the more serious the inner conflict will be, and eventually it will become a serious fear of heights that dare not live in tall buildings.
In order to fully demonstrate this important "psychological inverse law", I want to give more examples.
The fourth example is sleeping.
Sleeping is a natural thing. Insomnia once or twice, there is no need to make a fuss. But if you hurry to sleep and force yourself to sleep, the result may be more and more sleepless. As long as you fight insomnia day after day, you will become a real insomniac.
Worrying about insomnia is a simple worry.
When you repeatedly struggle with insomnia and fail, your distress and anxiety are doubled.
Change your attitude towards life.
1. Re-examine success
Looking at the definition of "success" at all times, at home and abroad, it is not difficult to find that it is different people's views, and even everyone's perceptual concept of success. Because everyone has different backgrounds, different times and different experiences, it is difficult to unify. But as a "successful science", there should naturally be a standard, objective and scientific definition. Otherwise, people may not be able to define whether they are successful or not. Even if they are successful, they still live in anxiety and confusion.
Happiness can be a feeling of self. Sometimes it doesn't necessarily happen. Occasionally, I can achieve something or feel something. On the other hand, success can never depend on self-feeling. If you persist in that way, it can only be called "the feeling of success" at best, but it is by no means equal to success. For example, if you make a toy for your child, you will feel successful after making it. You have a lovely baby and you have a feeling of success. You lost 5 kilograms in a month.
Success should be a harmonious balance, not an abnormal state. For example, it is extreme and morbid to think that a person is successful only because he is rich, powerful and famous. The reason why most people in today's society are eager for quick success is directly related to our evaluation of success.
A healthy body should be balanced. A great country should be balanced. Because they conform to the natural laws of the universe, otherwise they are morbid. Disease cannot be called success. Even if you flatter yourself that this is a success, what is the meaning of "success" for a person who is sick, unable to eat, unable to sleep or even dying, even if he has tens or hundreds of billions of assets? Can a corrupt official who is on tenterhooks all day, afraid of accidents and has no happy life be called successful?
Osho said: only balance is long-lasting, and nothing else is long-lasting. Balance is a difficult thing in life, because balance requires great wisdom.
Keep balance and you will be in heaven; If you lose your balance, you are creating hell. No one created it for you.
Always think more in your mind, there are two dimensions, one is horizontal much and much. You are on the same line, but when you get to point A, you want to go to point B. When you get to point B, you want to go to point C. Soon you will reach three points: X, Y and Z. Z is the gate of hell. But you can't stop, your mind has been moving forward.
You have no time to enjoy, celebrate, cultivate and stop.
In India, they call it the vicious circle of 99. They have a story.
There is a poor barber. He is very happy. He is the king's barber. He massages the king and arranges his hair every day. Confused and even a little jealous, the king asked him, "What's the secret of your happiness? You are always in high spirits. You don't seem to be walking on the ground. You're just flying with your wings. What's the secret? "
The barber said, "I don't know. What do you mean? I'm just happy, I earn my bread, that's all, and then I rest. "
Then the king asked the prime minister (he is a learned man), "You must know the secret of this barber. I am the king, why am I unhappy? But this poor man with nothing is so happy. "
The Prime Minister said: "He doesn't know the vicious circle of' 99'. Tonight, let's throw a bag containing 99 rupees into the barber's house and see what happens? "
The next day, the barber fell into hell. He's worried. In fact, he stayed up all night. He counted the money in the bag again and again.
99 is a problem. Because when you have 99, you always hope it is 100, so he is planning how to get a rupee the next day.
A rupee is hard to get. He only made a few pies. At that time, they were enough. How could he possibly get 1 rupee? He is in trouble, so he can only think of one thing, that is, stop eating for one day, and then eat for another day, so that he can gradually save L rupees, and then 100 rupees is enough. When he massaged the king again, he was depressed and weak because of fasting.
If your ambition does not change, your thoughts will not stop. Even if you have billions of assets, you will still be dissatisfied. Chen Deshen of Taiwan Province Province is a good example of "miser".
There is also a way of life, vertical (not horizontal), on a vertical line. From A to a 1 to A2 and then to A3, your happiness will increase. You are always balanced. When you arrive at B, you go from Bl to B2 and B3. You struggle and retire every day. When you enjoy a moment, it is retirement. Go home from work, leave the office, be in the office, not in your head. Otherwise, you will have a- pain, and you will definitely have a headache. With such a big office and so many trivial things, if you take them home, you will lose the timely communication between husband and wife, the timely education of children, your health and even your life.
2. Re-examine your life values.
In today's information age and knowledge economy age, the competition is becoming more and more fierce, and people's pressure is increasing. According to a report, 1 1.37% of working women said they had thought about seeking professional psychological help. 56.58% people pointed out that they had taken the initiative to decompress, and only 1.53% people had received psychological counseling. This is especially true for men, who account for more than women. According to the statistics of the World Health Organization, only 9.5% of the world's population has no mental illness at all.
People usually think that stress has a lot to do with money. In fact, the pressure of rich people and even big entrepreneurs is not less than that of ordinary people.
According to the research of psychologists, anxiety, depression, emotional distress, paranoia, paranoia and confusion are the most important factors affecting the mental health of successful people.
As the darling of the times, entrepreneurs began to be frightened by the torrent of faith after solving the confusion of money, status and reputation. When the ego is extremely inflated but can't find better support, mental illness is hard to avoid.
Lifestyle can not only affect people's quality of life, but also determine people's life span. The secret of longevity lies in an optimistic attitude, a balanced diet and a regular life.
A Swedish research report pointed out that only 1/4 of the life span of the world population is determined by genetic factors. For most people, life span depends on their lifestyle.
According to the theory of "balanced health preservation", its ecological balance is: psychological balance, diet balance, exercise balance, environmental balance, habit balance, metabolic balance and so on. Its physiological balance is: nervous balance, immune balance, endocrine balance, circulatory balance, metabolic balance and so on.
Now, please check your life. Have you reached a balance in the above aspects? Success is a kind of balance, which should include your physical and mental health, marriage and family, parents and children, career, interpersonal relationship and other aspects. Not only money can be called success, but also power and reputation can be called success!
Moreover, success is relative, and the ultimate success in the true sense needs to be "sealed". As far as money is concerned, if you only try your best to make money and don't know how to spend it, you will often leave some regrets.
Rockefeller, an early American business tycoon, was a stingy and heartless man, but he donated most of his property in his later years. In his will, he said, "It is a shame to die rich." Fortunately, Rockefeller finally enlightened before his death and realized the true meaning of money games.
What changed Rockefeller was a serious illness at the age of 57. I believe you don't need such cruel physical and mental torture to change your mind. As long as you can understand which is more precious, external or internal, you will be relieved with a smile, and you can look on coldly with the stupidity of secular normality!
In fact, the golden mean of balance is also very simple. Strive for everything, not force it. Fight and don't die; Self-denial, not self-harm. Exercise, not too hard; Replace wine with wine, and so on.
Such a balanced lifestyle means that you should always pay attention to all kinds of warnings from your body and mind and stop in time. If you have fidgeting, irritability, sleep disorder, sweating, difficulty in concentrating, losing your temper, smoking, drinking, catching a cold, sexual dysfunction and other symptoms. You should pay attention to them. These symptoms use its unique "language" to warn you that you have lost your balance. The solution is to increase some exercise, increase some entertainment, improve diet, attend fewer parties or cocktail parties, communicate more with children, and show more filial piety and gratitude to parents.
When you often feel happy and happy in many aspects of your work and life, you have already lived in a balanced state. This is enough to prove that your life values are correct and scientific.
3. Decline in happiness rate
Philosopher Zhou said: "Happiness is an uncertain thing. Most people regard the realization of their wishes as happiness, but once their wishes are realized, do they really feel happy? " Sartre-Life can be described as success. The two things that ordinary people want most, the happiness of love and the success of their career, are almost flawless. But in his later years, he said, "Life gave me what I wanted, and at the same time made me realize that it didn't make much sense, but what can you do?"
For example, a person who started a business and earned 10 thousand yuan is very excited and happy. However, when he earns the second 10 thousand yuan and the third 10 thousand yuan in his future struggle, his happiness and excitement will continue to decrease. This is why many rich people earn more money, but their happiness and satisfaction do not develop in direct proportion. It is reported that the happiest person in America. It can be seen that happiness is a person's inner feeling, not an increase in wealth. Therefore, Tao Te Ching says that the danger in Zhi Zhi can last for a long time.
Smile of life
I saw such a group of touching pictures on the Internet with the title: Smile of Life.
A 44-year-old woman in London, England, was diagnosed with breast cancer. When she got home, she smiled and told her 6-year-old daughter about her illness. She said, "In order to cure the disease, my mother's appearance will change immediately. Now, please ask my daughter to do something for herself, that is, ask her daughter to help her shave off a beautiful hair. "
The daughter listened and agreed happily. So, the 6-year-old daughter took a razor in both hands and began to shave her mother's head. The little girl clumsily cut her mother's hair ugly. Mother saw in the mirror that her hair was cut into "yin and yang head" by her daughter. She couldn't help talking and laughing with her daughter.
This warm and sweet picture touched the hearts of countless netizens. When death showed her a ferocious and terrible face, she still faced it with a bright smile, showing the strength and courage of life. This is a positive and optimistic attitude towards life.
A girl of 12 years old in Pennsylvania, USA, was diagnosed with progressive muscular dystrophy, which was called super cancer. The little girl showed a shy smile when she learned about it. She said, "Wow, this disease is really bad. They are all' super-level'. It seems that Superman can only cope. "
So, she began to dress herself up as Superman, and expressed her contempt and disdain for this disease with Superman's words and actions. At home, my parents often dress up as Superman to show her strength and courage. Neighbors often dress up as Superman, giving her confidence and strength.
Although the little girl got a terrible disease, she didn't show any timidity. The little girl's witty, humorous and relaxed attitude towards life touched the hearts of countless netizens.
A 66-year-old woman in Wellington, New Zealand was diagnosed with brain atrophy. If the disease continues, she will not know everyone, including herself. When the old lady learned of her illness, she smiled and said, "Wow, it's really bad. Then I have to take a good look at my relatives, or I will know fewer people then. It's a pity. "
So, the old lady dresses herself up beautifully every day, walks up to everyone she knows, hugs everyone affectionately, holds each other's face in the palm of her hand, kisses each other's forehead affectionately and says, "I wrote down your face and kept it in my heart." I will never forget it! "
In this way, the old lady carefully wrote down everyone she knew, and she would always keep the hearts of familiar people in her heart until her condition deteriorated. Even if her brain shrinks, her heart is still as bright as a mirror, and her heart will not shrink. The old lady expressed her gratitude and love for life in this unique way.
The smile of life is an attitude towards life, which gives people unlimited confidence and courage. Life can be knocked down, but never give up smiling. Smiling is always the most beautiful gesture in life.
Conclusion: No matter what situation you encounter and what situation you are in, everyone should try to calm down their mind. Don't give yourself too much pressure at ordinary times. After all, life is so long, there must always be fun. (The article was originally published in No.2065438 "Self-care" in April 2002 by Li Zengfu, Ke Yunlu and Xu Xu. Copyright belongs to the author; The purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 360 Common Sense Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. Please contact us as soon as possible and we will delete the content as soon as possible.