Why do parents have more and more "network confusion"?
Ha Yingmin, vice president of Guangdong Women's Federation's "Family Education" parent school, said that in the past year or two, parents have encountered more and more "network confusion". What bothers parents is not only the old problems such as "children are addicted to online games", but also the "communication barriers" brought about by the widespread use of social media.
"For example, new words and expressions that children like to use on social media are often used in reality. When parents don't understand these words, children will think that parents are' out of place'. For another example, children are immersed in playing Weibo and WeChat all day. Parents really want to know their children's real thoughts, so they pursue them and ask to join their children's' friends circle', but they are quickly blacked out by their children. "
In order to solve these problems, the Guangdong Women's Federation and the Guangdong Family Education Association spent a year organizing and compiling the Children's Family Education Handbook-Net Text, which is currently being printed. After printing, it will be published through the street and women's Federation service sites, and will also be placed on the website of Guangdong Women's Federation for parents' reference.
"We hope that through such guidance, parents can correctly look at the' generation gap' brought by the Internet age and social tools. There are many' Internet neologisms' summarized in the manual for parents to learn, but these words will be updated soon. In the final analysis, the most important thing is the change of parents' concept. " Ha Yingmin said.
Ms. Huang, a parent who communicates smoothly with her children, has a lot of "experience" in this regard. Therefore, she said that her daughter herself has learned many new words, such as "two elements", "big touch" and "parallel world". Some of these words come from anime and online novels with their cultural connotations, while others come from science fiction, which also contains many "scientific elements". "Generally speaking, children have no patience to explain to you. I don't know, so I can't go on. But in fact, it is very easy to check online, and parents can also learn about some new trends, which is quite fun. "
The key to prevent children from indulging in online games is agreement.
Many parents point out that children are addicted to online games, but various methods have little effect. Some experts said that only by participating in children's online games and knowing what children are playing can we communicate better.
Gao Lan, a professor at South China Normal University and an expert in child psychology, believes that we must first integrate and understand what children are playing before we can judge, which is also the basis of communication.
Ha Yingmin believes that for most adults, children's games may not be fun, but children's online behavior may also be a realistic projection. By observing children's favorite game content, we can also understand their inner needs. For example, a child loves racing games, which shows that he pursues some kind of excitement. If some intense activities can be arranged in reality, children will not rely solely on the internet to meet.
The opening of "Ninima" is one of the few parents who approve of children playing online games. My daughter Nini once played three kingdoms, Warcraft and other games in primary school, but after carefully understanding these games, Nini's mother thought that "these games are mostly technical, such as customs clearance games, which can cultivate comprehensive problem-solving thinking." Ninima believes that the most effective way to control children's play time is for both parties to make an agreement. "Generally, it takes more than 1 hour to play a good game, so it is agreed that each game time is 1 hour. If you don't comply, you will pay the price. Although you will quarrel about this, it is still relatively effective at present. "
The key to not being hacked is to keep your distance.
Many children have their own WeChat and Weibo. Seeing children holding mobile phones every day, parents also want to know their inner thoughts through social tools. As a result, many parents join their children's "friends circle" in a soft and hard way. However, these parents soon discovered that there were almost no children's updates in the "circle of friends", and later they learned that they were "hacked" by children.
Why do children "black" their parents? In this regard, "Children's Family Education Handbook-Online Articles" pointed out that children's online social places originally belonged to the chat space of peers and had a special audience. The active participation of parents "destroyed" the circle of peers. At the same time, children don't like all kinds of articles about "chicken soup" and "health preservation" promoted by parents. In addition, the communication barriers between two generations in the virtual world must be solved face to face in the real world. Parents should avoid giving their children an omnipresent impression and keep a certain distance.
Her daughter's circle of friends has always been open to her parents, Fang Jie. She said, "There are certain skills to enter the circle of friends of children. The secret is to keep a low profile, not to express too many opinions and not to make too many comments. Just looking. In addition, don't say what the child sent in the circle of friends. For example, what did you say in your circle of friends recently when you were teaching your children? In addition, don't be curious, don't be too enthusiastic, and let the child feel that you are watching her. "
On this issue, the reporter interviewed a number of teenagers, and they also shared their social media behaviors that they most dislike their parents. These behaviors include: often sharing photos and personal privacy that children don't want to make public on social media; Often reprint various push articles on social media; Set up online tips, and once the child logs into social media software, immediately nag; I like to know and learn more about what my children share on social media. Children are often dragged into some unfamiliar group chats.