1 The symptoms or consequences of these manifestations include but are not limited to:
1, you can't do the same thing for a long time
2. Attention is easily diverted.
3. There is something wrong with emotional management. When encountering external influences, the mood fluctuates greatly.
I haven't read any books completely all the year round.
5. Due to shallow reading, emotional fluctuation and deterioration of language expression ability, it is impossible to smoothly translate words into spoken language for expression.
6. The ups and downs of mental state affect the ups and downs of body coordination and language organization.
7. There is something wrong with short-term memory. In a few seconds, you will forget what you wanted to do and what you wanted to say.
Many people think that they can't finish the plan, and the root of all kinds of bad habits in life lies in their weak self-control. They think that all problems can be solved by strengthening self-control. This idea is wrong, and self-control is not the key to solve these problems. What methods can help CMA candidates? The following methods can be used for reference.
2. What's this?
1, Xueba actually ruined the holiday story. The protagonist is Tal, a junior in the psychology department of Harvard University and the main force of the school squash team. He gets up early and runs every day, and then goes to school. After the one-day course, he will go to the stadium for regular training and play games with the coach. After that, he will go to the gym to exercise, then go home, do homework, read books, study and sleep. Day after day, without interruption.
No matter how meticulous and scientific the plan is, Tal students like to feed dogs in summer vacation. They read 10 page two days ago, which adds up to an hour of exercise.
Without the freedom of squash, I can't wait to concentrate on my studies and catch up with the progress of reading and writing. The winter vacation is coming, so I don't need to train (squash), but contrary to efficient study, my efficiency is much lower.
Some readers recognized Tal. Yes, he is now Professor Tal of Harvard University. This picture comes from 39 minutes and 47 seconds in his widely circulated positive psychology course 1 1. (Amway, as one of the most popular elective courses in Harvard, was included in the open class of Netease 20 10, and was named "Harvard Happy Course", which was very chicken soup. Since then, it has occupied the first place in the rankings for a long time, and the cumulative number of views has already exceeded 10 million. )
2. The troubles of schoolmasters Professor Tal proved with personal experience that schoolmasters and ordinary people actually have the same troubles in the winter vacation plan. Of course, some people will raise their hands and say, no, I know that the winter vacation plan is very substantial, and all of them have been implemented! Yes, that's right. Let's call such people "mature sports masters", while those whose previous plans failed are called "young sports masters". Quite a few of the schoolmasters you have met are still in infancy, and they will still have self-control and procrastination like ordinary people.
Then the question is, how did the "young sports master" grow into a "mature sports master"?
Ordinary people: the plan failed-> Depressed-> Scold yourself-> Make a new plan->; Continue to fail
Xueba: The plan failed-> Depressed-> Scold yourself-> Think deeply about the reasons for the failure of this plan-> Improve the problem-> Make a new plan
Of course, the new plan may succeed or fail. After failure, Xueba will repeat the above process. Over time, there are fewer and fewer failures and more and more successes in the new plan, and Xueba has also realized the evolution from infancy to maturity.
So why did this plan fail? Obviously, schoolmasters usually have high self-control. Will self-control fail in winter vacation?
This is about the illusion of self-control.
3. The illusion and truth of self-control I don't know if you have such a feeling: before the college entrance examination, it is the peak of your learning ability and self-control. At that time, you had to do many problems every day and study late, but the next day you were still full of energy and continued to fight; After I went to college, I had plenty of time, but I became lazy. I didn't have the energy and perseverance to study before. I don't even bother to lose control during the holidays. Stay up late to watch movies, stay up late and get up late, and overeating is common.
3. Why is this happening?
Is the more time, the weaker the self-control? This is obviously unscientific. That's because the more time we have, the easier it is to slack off and degenerate? But this is the result, not the cause. We thought that our self-control was once very strong, and it weakened after going to college, but it weakened after the holiday because of laziness-this is actually an illusion. So what is the truth? 1 is habit, not self-control. Think about the tense study atmosphere before the college entrance examination. We have passively developed many habits-regular classes, daily self-study, eating and sleeping, and clear goals-and what to review every month, every week, and even every day, the teacher has arranged for us. We take these things for granted, just as it is natural for you to brush your teeth automatically every morning (walk away without brushing your teeth! )
So those studies in high school don't really need much self-control. When you enter the university, the course arrangement becomes free, you throw away those passive habits and start planning your study and life. That's when you need self-control. At this time, many people have to face the second truth: two people's self-control is limited. A lot of psychological experiments have proved that self-control is as limited as muscle strength.
Imagine that when you move a dormitory or change classrooms, your arms are weak and your back hurts after you laboriously move piles of heavy books from one room to another. In severe cases, you may not even be able to lift a glass of water-because your muscle strength is exhausted.
The same is true of self-control. In daily life, we have to face all kinds of temptations: a lot of snacks we bought yesterday, a dazzling array of goods on the home page of Double Eleven Taobao, and the new drama of Male God Hugh has started again ... We must resist these temptations repeatedly in order to focus on those important goals, such as learning and losing weight. Every time you refuse a temptation, your self-control will consume one point. Faced with too many temptations, there will always be a moment when we will be too tired to resist, and let overeating, brushing Taobao and staying up late to watch dramas dominate our lives.
Of course, the reality is not so terrible. Muscle soreness will recover in two days. Self-control, a good sleep will return to normal. Interestingly, different people have different natural advantages and different self-control. Self-control is better or weaker than slag, which accounts for a small proportion in the crowd. Most people are in the middle-neither good nor bad.
So, since you can exercise muscles, can self-control also be exercised? That's true, but muscle strength has its limits, and so does self-control. In life, we are faced with so many temptations, and the acquired self-control will still be insufficient. On the other hand, just like the first point mentioned above, whether they are "mature academic tyrants" on campus or elites in society, their efficient study and life do not depend on strong self-control as we always think, but benefit from the habit system built the day after tomorrow.
An Unseen Enemy
Many people want to lose weight and keep fit, but in most cases, after deciding to lose weight or keep fit, they made a detailed plan, bought a bunch of equipment and set up thousands of fitness cards, but after less than three visits, they put all these things on the shelf.
Why is it so difficult to establish an exercise habit? Because too many people don't understand the principle behind habits, the more important reason is that too many people are too eager to see major changes in the short term.
Yes, we all hope to get rich overnight and become famous once. We all like to watch the story of "poor boy started his business from scratch and became a billionaire in one year" and "Fat girl lost 80 pounds in half a year to capture the heart of the male god". But it's not our fault. The reason why we are naturally short-sighted and like instant feedback and satisfaction is because there is an invisible enemy in our brain making trouble. First of all, you should realize its existence, and then you can defeat it.
Millions of years ago, when our ancestors were still eating like animals, resources were scarce, and the brain needed to constantly secrete chemicals, prompting people to find and eat food. The higher the heat, the better. The more fat they store, the better. Without this mechanism, human beings would probably not live today.
But we are not primitive people, we have evolved more advanced control units, so we have learned to plan and give up short-term interests in order to achieve long-term goals. But the primitive part of the brain has not died out, and it is still fighting for the control of the body all the time, prompting us to tirelessly seek instant satisfaction.
Are you clear? Why is it that when you are studying hard, suddenly "I have studied for so long, watch an American TV series!" " This idea; Why do you eat a lot for dinner and still can't help reaching for snacks before going to bed? Why do you want to recite words when you open your mobile phone, but the devil pokes Weibo? The essence of these is that the primitive brain is at work.
Well, seeing here, you realize the existence of the enemy, that is, the original part of the brain; You also know its usual trick-instant satisfaction. But even this would not be enough To defeat it, you have to master the weapon of science, which is the principle of habit.
4. Habitual principle
The formation of habits depends on four parts: clues, routines, rewards and beliefs.
1 Touch the mobile phone trigger habit. You can think of it as the trigger of a pistol. Press the trigger and the bullet will go out. There are many habits of touching mobile phones, which may be time, place or scene. When you brush your teeth in the morning, you get up. Go to lunch because it's time (well, I'm hungry); Some people are used to brushing Weibo before going to bed, so maybe you lie down and cover yourself with a quilt. There is no difference between good and bad touch machines, but it is the inertial behavior that determines habits.
2 inertia behavior is called inertia because it is unconscious, such as watching entertainment news online as soon as you turn on the computer; For example, you must brush your circle of friends before going to bed. In the process of establishing new habits, our self-control is used to correct the old behaviors that lead to procrastination and replace them with new inertia. When correcting a bad habit, you need to pay special attention to the trigger point, pay attention to your own behavior, and constantly remind yourself not to make the same mistake. This step is the most time-consuming and labor-intensive process, and it may be necessary to repeatedly pull old habits, because the establishment of good inertia behavior requires not only self-control to overcome old behaviors, but also positive feedback at the end of the behavior, which is called "reward" below.
3 Reward This is a crucial link in the formation of habits, which is often ignored by people. Why are bad habits easy to form and difficult to change? Because their rewards are often immediate and obvious: playing games, surfing the internet and eating snacks, which one is not? Good habits are difficult to form, precisely because the short-term returns are not obvious enough. Memorizing words, exercising and practicing calligraphy often take a long time to see the effect. Some people are naturally inspired by the process, but many people can't. Then you need to give yourself artificial rewards: for example, record your growth and progress, send an Weibo to encourage yourself from time to time, eat a good meal when you achieve some small goals, and so on (Oh, don't overeat! )
4 Belief This is the internal motivation to support your habit: you want to recite words every day in order to kill English exams; You want to learn to play the guitar so that you can show your skills at various parties; You should eat regularly, go to bed early and get up early, for health; You want to keep fit and lose weight, maybe you want to win the heart of the goddess/goddess. In a word, you want to be a better person. When you form good habits, faith can give you positive spiritual feedback. At the same time, the stronger your belief, the more you can endure the pain and repetition in the process of change.
5. Three-point mentality
1 Accept that you are an ordinary person. Really, we are all ordinary people. There is no shame in admitting this. Take my favorite muscle model as an example. I always think that forming habits, developing abilities and exercising muscles are the same thing: you can only lift 30 kilograms of dumbbells today, and you can lift up to 35 kilograms next week. You can't say I'm going to lift 60 kilograms tomorrow. Similarly, if you have never been to the gym before, don't expect to go there three times a week at first. A more scientific plan is to go once a week. If you have ever been addicted to games, play seven days a week, and don't expect to quit tomorrow. The goal of science is to play for only six days next week.
Admitting that you can't eat a fat man in one breath and dare to face the reality is also one of the signs of maturity, isn't it? The advice in positive psychology is that it is good for the average person to form one or two habits a month. Don't be too greedy, you really can. You can get at least 12 habits a year, which can explode most people. Less criticism and more encouragement. The education we received from childhood overemphasized strict self-discipline and self-criticism, but rarely taught us how to encourage ourselves. Too many people give up change because they put out the inner fire with criticism and harsh criticism after repeated failures.
When the plan fails, most people will feel ashamed, miserable and blame themselves. But few people comfort themselves and tell themselves, "It doesn't matter, you are an ordinary person and you will always be vulnerable"; Few people encourage themselves like friends and say to themselves, "Come on, there is still a chance, come on! Think about how you can do better next time. " Take action. There is no shortcut to change from now on. It is a long process. Starting from your will, you can get positive results with the right actions. After listening so much, there are so many books in the book list. Many people have bought the book Self-control. How many of them have really finished? How many people come back and read their own questions for more than three times in a long time? How many people meditate, exercise, observe and record their behavior according to its method? Many people have seen the Happy Classroom, and how many people take notes carefully, set goals according to the methods in the classroom, challenge risks, write gratitude records and pay attention to the positive side of things?
Whether you criticize or encourage yourself, it is action that ultimately leads to change. Do what you want to do now, don't wait until later. As far as I know, 90% of "talk tomorrow" equals "forget tomorrow". If you want to read a book, pick it up before going to bed tonight, even if you only read one page; If you want to exercise, jump up today, even if it's just a 4-minute fat burning training; If you want to learn to draw, draw today, even if it's just a water cup.
As long as you do it, no matter how much, you are acting and changing. As mentioned above, even the smallest change is commendable.