In a big family, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often caused by the husband, especially during the woman's pregnancy and childbirth. At this time, as a husband, you should be more considerate of your wife. After all, she gave birth to your child and passed through the gate of hell. Understanding the hardships of a woman giving birth to a child is more than just talking with her mouth open. Husband's behavior is often the key to understanding his wife.
incoming letter
I have been facing my mother all my life, even when I am married, but I am not a mother-in-law. I have something to say. I only know what is right. In my opinion, I can still handle it myself. I am 3 1 year old and my wife is 26 years old. I married her at the end of last year, and my mother just retired last year. After retirement, my mother started her own life. Basically, she starts to dance square dance to exercise at four o'clock every afternoon. Later, my mother got a fitness card, which happened to be the time for eating and exercising, so she couldn't cook for us.
At that time, my wife was just two months pregnant. After she became pregnant, although she said she didn't resign, she still stuck to her job. After all, our family conditions are not particularly good. My mother lives with my husband and wife. At that time, the whole family was very happy when they learned that their wife was pregnant, but when they were happy, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law came.
At that time, during lunch, my mother suddenly said to us, "I'm going to the gym to exercise this afternoon. When I'm done, you can go home and cook for yourself!" My own time has been arranged, you can solve it yourself! "At this time, my wife is not satisfied with this matter, because in her opinion, she feels that other people's mother-in-law cooks for us every day. What's more, now that I'm pregnant, I have to eat well. But now, because my mother wants to exercise, she can't cook for us at home.
After returning to my room, my wife complained to me. She said: "You see other people's mother-in-law is so kind to her pregnant daughter-in-law, and my mother-in-law exercises for herself, whether we eat or not. What is this? " I don't know how to comfort my wife when she complains. After all, I respect my mother's choice. Although my wife is just complaining, she just told me, not in front of my mother.
In September this year, my son was born and my wife has been taken care of by her mother-in-law. The wife said that her mother-in-law specially took half a month off and offered to take care of her half a month before confinement. In the second half, my mother and I took turns to go. My mother-in-law went to rest, and my mother went to work, because her mother-in-law was younger than my mother, so she didn't.
During my wife's confinement, our family has been in this state. After confinement, my wife took her son back to her mother's house, and it will be a month in a few days. My wife suddenly called me that day and said, "Although I lived in my mother's house for a month, I don't want to go back to your house now, and your mother can't count on it." Even if she goes during the day, she has to take time to exercise, and I have to do everything myself. "
So I have been complaining about how she gave birth to a child, not going home to live, but also going back to her parents' house. My wife always felt that no one was taking care of their mother and son. Basically, we had our own opinions, so we quarreled. My wife sticks to her point of view and thinks she is right. In fact, she quarreled with me at that time: "It's all your mother's fault for not taking care of our children!" "
I was a little angry when my wife accused my mother. I directly angered her and said, "Why did my mother bring up your child? Whose children are not brought up by themselves, do you expect others to bring them to you? " In my opinion, because my mother-in-law is very fond of children, basically as long as she is here, my wife will do nothing but breast-feed.
I also know that my wife needs pain and love, but what can I do? I have to work in the company during the day, and my work is very busy. I have to deliver the goods after work. I work two jobs every day, and I have to do my own private affairs. What did I do so much for? It is said that women are the greatest when they have children, but this is not a reason to push your luck! If nothing else, I can't stand letting my mother do nothing and help her with the children. In my opinion, mom has worked hard all her life. She finally retired and wanted to have a rest and have her own activities as a son. I don't want my mother to work too hard.
Actually, my mother didn't say she wouldn't help her. We mean that my mother-in-law comes to my house during the day and I help my daughter-in-law at night. When my wife goes to work, my mother will help with the children, but my wife has to tell me that pregnancy and childbirth are the most vulnerable times for women. If I don't help now, there is no need to help later.
Now because of this, my wife is very cold to my mother. I always feel that my mother-in-law is instructing me, because my wife was very kind to my mother before, but I have no evidence, so now I have no choice, because I don't know what to do to alleviate this situation.
In fact, the love between people is mutual. As a husband, you can say that you are not doing well, only from your own point of view that your wife is too spoiled by her mother-in-law. First of all, your husband should review his behavior. You know, taking care of children is ten times more difficult than going to work, and your sentence "Why should I take care of your children?" This vividly highlights that children are born with only mothers and no fathers. This is the contradiction between your daughter-in-law and your mother.
You know, there is no obligation between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but only mutual affection. As a mother-in-law, as an experienced person, you should know how hard and insecure a woman is during pregnancy and childbirth, but when her daughter-in-law is pregnant and gives birth, as a mother-in-law, she won't help you. It is conceivable that when she is too old to move, what makes her daughter-in-law take care of you and wait on you? In fact, people are mutual and have nothing to say.