The night of 1 is coming again. But what was supposed to be a quiet night was broken by cheers and noise. This voice comes one after another, and everyone will be upset, let alone me who is working on a complicated math problem.
"Oh, what's this!" This is tolerable. With a bang, I threw my pen on the table, got up angrily and decided to give them some "criticism and education". If it really doesn't work, it's okay to make trouble.
Just out of the house, I saw a sea of people in front of me, wondering, and heard a conversation between two people passing by me. "I heard that there is milk delivery ahead, go and have a look." As soon as I heard them say this, I immediately caught the key word: free gift. In an instant, my eyes were straight, I hurried through five levels, beheaded six generals, and rushed to the stage in lightning speed. Hey, it happens that the host is also going to send it. Hold your hands high and be ready to intercept "stolen goods" at any time. But I am a weak person in this vast sea of people, just like an ant. No matter how hard I try, no matter how high my hand reaches, it will be covered and blocked by others. So I'm going to use my' stunt'-"Ah! Who stepped on me? " I aimed at the tallest man, sucked the milk with all my strength, stepped on it without mercy, and then burst into a thunderous roar, which naturally caused a little commotion.
The host on the stage still smiled so charming, so elegant and looked at us with great interest, as if she were the audience and we were the buffoons in her eyes.
Yes, right now, aim at the opportunity, grab the milk in the dumbfounded eyes of the host and the audience, and then run home like oil on the soles of your feet.
When I got home, I looked at this box of trophies and felt proud of my bravery. But there are also some regrets. How can I use such despicable means? But on second thought, "All is fair in war"! Look at me now, my hair is unkempt, my clothes are dirty, and there are several shoe prints on my shoes. What a complete clown!
Time flies, junior high school has passed quickly, but every time I walk on a familiar campus, I can't help thinking of you.
You have a pair of bright eyes, as if you can see through the hearts of our classmates. I have a pair of modest mouths. It is this modest mouth that gives us knowledge and happiness.
What impressed us most was your famous saying "details determine success or failure". You often say this to us, even in class training. "thousands of miles away, collapsed in the ant nest." If you don't pay attention to small things or details, it will often lead to big problems. You always warn us repeatedly.
Every time we have a new lesson, we always have to pronounce words, and then let several students write pinyin on the blackboard. My mind seems to have returned to that time. I sat in my seat and stared at some students writing pinyin on the blackboard. Did they reach out and scratch their ears and cheeks with chalk, and accidentally became "small white faces"? Sometimes when the teacher doesn't pay attention, he will cran his neck like a thief, look at the answers of the students around him, and then calmly go back to writing, while we all laugh tacitly under the stage. It's all finished at last. I watched you holding a book in your hands, turning gracefully, stepping onto the platform with light steps, and skillfully holding chalk to correct your classmates' mistakes. Whenever I see students writing Chinese Pinyin into English letters, they will always write it again on the blackboard seriously and say to us again and again, "Don't write Chinese Pinyin into English letters, it is inseparable when you take the exam." You are such a teacher who cares about details.
On a ridiculously cold morning, the cold wind blew on our cheeks and got into our clothes playfully. You are still enthusiastic, waiting at the door of the class and kindly telling us "It's cold, please keep warm". In the morning reading class, you actually lifted your classmate's collar to see if it was thick. You are always so careful. After cleaning in class, you go to the health corner to clean up as usual. Suddenly, the sanitary corner, which was just a mess, immediately became neat and seemed to blend in with the wall. You often say: "Health corner can best reflect the quality of a class discipline, so we should take it seriously."
Over the past three years, "details determine success or failure" has been deeply imprinted in my mind. Just like the memories you brought us in these three years, they will linger in my mind. Details become the standard for you to do things. I learned to pay attention to details from you, trying not to let the mistakes of small details determine my success or failure. Teacher, thank you for your company for three years.
Today, my father sat next to the small tree again, sipping a small glass of low-alcohol wine in his hand. I know, my father is thinking yellow again.
"Huang" used to enjoy the cool, eat, sleep and tease his father under that tree. For Huang, his father is everything to Huang. For my father, "yellow" is everything to my father. Except family, of course. If my father has something delicious and unhappy, he will find "yellow" to share.
When I arrived, my father didn't know what had happened at the moment when Huang died. For a time, I drank wine under that tree all day. Ask dad if he wants "Huang". Father also pretended to smile and said, "What's there to think about? Is it not a dog? " ? I hope I bought one in a few days. Son, you think too much. Dad just wants to drink. "Slowly, my father seldom goes under that tree. I only had two drinks under that tree once in a while and left.
I remember one day, my father had been drinking under that tree. Out of concern, my father drank heavily. I went to sit down and said to my father, "Dad, drink less. Now it has passed 2 1. Go to bed early. " But my father seems to be drunk, too The voice of "yellow" came from his father's mouth from time to time. I wonder in my heart. Is it not just a dog? Is it worth thinking for so long? Still treat me like a dog? I said accusingly, "Dad, are you so focused on a dog?" At this time, my father woke up and said to me, "My child! If Huang hadn't been with me, I could have told him everything. Now ... "I suddenly understand my father's heart. I said to my father, "Mom, sister and brother, can't you tell me?" As a result, dad cried and said that your studies were important. Don't worry. "Then he drank from a cup. I drank until after 22 o'clock.
I really understand my father's reason for "Huang". This just feels all kinds of tingling in my heart. Unknown tears welled up from his eyes.
Now, the only thing I can do as a child is to accompany my father when he drinks. That's it.
This is the season for spring outing. I asked my mother several times. I went for a spring outing that day, and this day finally came.
I prepared my favorite drinks, water and some snacks. I came to school early in the morning, and my classmates all came early, talking and laughing happily together. The teacher told us to pay attention to safety and obey the teacher's instructions, and then we set off in a neat line. The students talked and laughed all the way, breathing fresh air. The green grass coming to the park is waving to us, and the beautiful peony flowers are smiling. Welcome to watch. A gust of wind blows, young trees are dancing, long wickers are fluttering like beautiful women's long hair, and ripples are rippling on the lake. Many people come to the square for morning exercises, some are practicing Tai Chi, some are doing aerobics, and some are looking for a place to stop and rest while walking. The students happily took out their snacks and started.
It was time to go back to school before we knew it, and the teacher took us back to school. I had a good time this spring outing.
Describe the teaching objectives of Composition 5 in detail:
Knowledge and skills: By appreciating some wonderful fragments of detail description in examples, we can learn and imitate detail description and apply it to writing to feel the benefits of detail description.
Process and Method: Appreciate the interesting details and describe some detailed actions.
Emotional attitude and values: cultivate observation ability, guide students to be good at observing and discovering details in life, and form a positive attitude towards life.
Key point: learn detailed description and realize its function.
Difficulty: describe it with details and apply it to writing.
Class arrangement:
Two class hours
Teaching process:
I. Introduction
Detail description is the flower in the article. To make flowers beautiful, you have to describe the details. We should capture the details of life with keen eyes. If we feel life with our eyes and love, the flowers we live will be more brilliant. Such as the following text: the crescent moon on the horizon exudes a faint glow, quietly sprinkled on the balcony. In the dim moonlight, the colorful flowers and green leaves all seem dim during the day. At this time, a few newly blooming epiphyllum are pure and clean, emitting a wisp of fragrance and refreshing. Ah! There is another bud in bud. Will it bloom? I studied for a long time, and suddenly, the bud moved. Finally, a small hole opened unconsciously at the tip of the bud. Then, the hole opens slowly, and then the petals gradually spread out one by one. The petals are carved like crystals, and even the veins can be seen clearly; The flower heart is white and tender, and the lace shows a layer of goose yellow. The author described the flowers in detail. The whole process of texture, smell, color, grain and bud opening makes people feel as if they were in the scene, and the writing is delicate and vivid. Technically speaking, detail description is the first step of narrative writing, and it is also an important method to beautify narrative language.
Second, how to describe the details.
(a) Choose the best point to describe the details
1, a comprehensive and detailed description, the first step is to select a point.
The point of choosing a point should be the point that has an effect on the center. Only when the point is in place will it not stray from the topic. For example, with maternal love as the topic, you can choose the action point that your mother adds a coat to yourself, the state point that your mother looks at yourself, and the language point that tells you how to express yourself. In fact, this selection point is related to material selection in a sense, but no matter which point we choose, it should be the theme of maternal love. Of course, if you can't choose the right point, you can't describe it, and of course you are faced with the possibility of digression and digression. Because the skin does not exist, how can the hair be attached?
The point that can best express the theme is exactly what we need to highlight and make great efforts to render when writing. So, what kind of points are best described in detail?
Lao She said: The most difficult thing to describe characters is to make them stand up. We all know how to use the characteristics of occupation, class and nation to help form a unique personality; But these things don't necessarily make the characters active. We must always show him with actions. When he shows it clearly and forcefully in every movement, he becomes more and more lively and realistic. Only in this way can the appeal of the characters be profound and extensive.
Lao She's words mean that only by successfully describing the movements of characters can readers truly feel that the author's works are vivid characters, his spiritual world can be fully displayed and his image can really stand up. It shows that wonderful action description plays an important role in the display of characters.
Action description is one of the important methods to depict characters. Every action of a character is restricted by his own thoughts and personality. A successful description of a character's characteristic movements can explain his identity and status, reflect his psychological activity process, show his personality characteristics and sometimes promote the development of the plot.
Therefore, we believe that in the narrative, we should choose the action points that can best express the theme, focusing on the action details, supplemented by the portrait details, language details, psychological details and environmental details.
Choosing the most important action point in the process of things happening to describe, supplemented by other description methods and other angles, can concentrate the power of language in one place and show the basic skills of words to the greatest extent. If the situation before, during and after the action is recorded, the article will have no focus, only the content of each step of the character can be known; Moreover, it is easy to form a running account, which is lengthy, equally divided, boring and boring. This is the most common problem when students describe things. There must be wonderful highlights in the process of action. Grasping this bright spot and describing it in detail can not only highlight the key part of the matter, but also show the character characteristics, inner activities, attitude towards life and ideological quality of the characters, leaving a strong and profound impression on readers.
2. Select some examples and comments.
first part
We had a geography class that day, and a classmate talked back to the teacher. I don't know how this matter reached the head teacher's ear, but I saw her strolling into the classroom, scanning everyone and asking: Who did it? Stand Up! Can be lenient. There are only four kinds of sounds in the classroom: the teacher's footsteps, our breathing, the heartbeat and the ticking of clocks. Get up! Don't waste everyone's time! As it is class time, everyone is very impetuous. That's right. The students answered. He stood up, flushed. The teacher praised his honesty first, and then took him to the office calmly.
Comments: This clip selects a common point in the school classroom, which is not big but very real and concrete. There are the movements and language of the class teacher, the movements and reactions of the classmates, and his movements and performances. It can be seen that when choosing a point for a comprehensive description, you don't have to choose those earth-shattering big points, as long as they meet the theme, you can achieve the effect of seeing the big from the small. And wrote a true story, true feelings and feelings. And isn't such a' point' everywhere in our lives? Everything is clear.
the second part
Come on! Come on! The students tried their best to cheer for Xiao Yong on the horizontal bar. He will do the first 12 pull-ups, which is a record that no one in our class has broken so far. I saw his body swinging back and forth, as if he were accumulating strength. Just as he leaned forward again, he suddenly shouted hi! Immediately, the whole body was stretched tightly, his arms were pulled up hard, his body was shaking, and he moved up slowly. He closed his eyes and sweat ran down his red cheeks. The muscles on the arm are gradually bulging like an inflated balloon, and the veins on the forearm are also bulging like blue earthworms. The horizontal bar also seems to want to pull Xiao Yong up. Xiao Yong insisted, insisted, in the shouts of his classmates, his head slowly approached the horizontal bar and passed it! It worked! The students cheered!
Comments: The author did not describe how Xiao Yong prepared, climbed the horizontal bar, did pull-ups, completed the last movement, and got off the bar. Instead, I chose the most difficult shot of pull-ups, and the action choice was very good. He seems to have witnessed Xiao Yong's tenacity and hard work. After careful observation, the author found that Xiao Yong's movements were swinging, pulling, moving and stretching in turn, which were closer than the horizontal bar. I heard him crying. Hi! ; Observe his expression, his eyes are closed, his face is red and he is sweating; I noticed that his whole body was tight, his body was trembling, he moved up slowly, his muscles gradually bulged, and the veins stood out on his forearm. Through these detailed descriptions, the author vividly presents Xiao Yong's last pull-up to the readers. At the same time, the author also noticed the status of the horizontal bar and the students around him, so as to set off Xiao Yong's efforts.
3. Problems that should be paid attention to when selecting points
(1) Select a point for the center. Choose a point for a comprehensive description, not for description, but to express a certain emotion with a clear center as the guide. This center is the theme and theme of the article, and it is the reason that the author wants to express and explain by writing people or notes and painting scenes or things. Different centers should choose different points for detailed description. When choosing points, the first principle is to choose those points that are effective for the center, that is, the points that best represent the center.
For example, a student once wrote a successful exercise, tug of war. The center of tug-of-war performance is to stick to the end and win. He is very clever. He did not describe the tug-of-war process from beginning to end, but chose the most difficult point in the tug-of-war process and made a detailed description. He described the students' bent legs, tight muscles, stubborn eyes and hard-working posture, which truly reproduced the spirit of persistence and unyielding. Perseverance is victory. Later, when I wrote another article, I copied his high penny. However, my score is very low. Why? Because the article center has changed. The event recorded in the latter exercise is still a tug-of-war, but the center of the article is to write that the generous and kind smile of the class teacher gave him great encouragement and warmth. In this way, it is obviously not centered, or at least inappropriate, or deviated from the center of the article to invest a lot of space in the tug-of-war In other words, the center of the article should show the power of the teacher's smile, and the place to describe it in detail should be the teacher's smile. The details should be described around this generous and kind smile, and the charm of this smile can be rendered in a variety of ways to show the center of the article to the fullest.
Therefore, before a comprehensive and detailed description, we should first choose the points that work on the center according to the center, and we should not describe it simply for the sake of description, otherwise it is suspected of digressing.
(2) Choose real and specific points. After choosing a good point, you are actually choosing writing materials. Reflect the whole event by describing a point in an all-round way. If you can't reach a specific point, it is a superficial narrative. Through the embodiment of points, readers can get a glimpse of the overall effect. So the choice must be specific. In addition to being specific, the choice of points should also be true. The so-called truth refers to artistic truth, which is not necessarily true, but must conform to real life and logic. Excessive exaggeration or illogical points are against the basic requirements of writing, expressing the true feelings and achieving the true meaning.
To sum up, we find that choosing a real, concrete and vivid work point as the center is the basis of comprehensive fine painting. Without this, fine painting has no basis for attachment. If you choose the point that best reflects the center of the article and describe it in detail, you can actually start writing around the center, and the local description of the expression center is actually very detailed; Other places don't expand or draw. In this way, the details of the article are solved.
At the same time, choosing the point of detail description solves the problem of material selection, because the point of detail description is the material of the article itself. If we can make a comprehensive description of any point, big or small, small or small, it means that every bit of life can actually be written into our article. In this way, when choosing materials, students with insufficient material accumulation do not need to be stretched. Just expand the point into a concrete and vivid comprehensive description.
The details of the article and the choice of materials are precisely the places that many middle school students can't control well. Therefore, it is very important to learn to choose the point that plays a role in the center of the article.
Then, after choosing a point, how to expand it in detail to make it vivid, vivid, infectious and expressive? This is related to the perspective of comprehensive description.