The first article was opened.
What is dialogue? Chatting up is talking to strangers.
Ask for directions, time, phone, chat, etc. It's all chat in a broad sense.
However, we are not concerned with such a dialogue.
But for the purpose of getting to know girls, I accosted them with various excuses.
For further communication.
Chatting up is an experience that everyone will have in their daily life.
For example, everyone has the experience of asking strangers for directions.
Even the most introverted people dare to ask the way when they meet girls.
However, if you use asking for directions as an excuse to approach girls,
At this time, not so many boys dare to strike up a conversation.
Why is it the same as asking for directions?
In the process of implementation, people will have two completely different reactions.
I think this is caused by psychological pressure.
When asking for directions, if the other person's answer is not answered, then we will think that the other person has no cultivation.
If we talk to a girl and she doesn't answer, our self-esteem will be hurt.
So, in order to protect ourselves from harm, we simply don't do it. This is psychological pressure.
Some people are easygoing by nature and can talk easily with others.
When they face girls who don't care much, they often talk and laugh.
Charm it and get a phone call.
And in the face of the girl you like very much, you may stop.
What is the reason?
This is also caused by psychological pressure.
For girls who don't care much, even if they are rejected, they don't feel anything.
But if you are rejected by a girl you like very much, you will be hurt.
In order to protect themselves from harm, they stopped and dared not strike up a conversation.
These two examples are cited to make everyone understand the importance of psychological stress.
Because psychological pressure determines whether you dare to take the first step of chatting up,
If you dare not speak, it is useless to talk about any skills.
In order to take the first step to strike up a conversation, we must understand why psychological pressure occurs and what impact psychological pressure will bring.
Everyone is afraid of failure. Why?
When people encounter failure, they often have all kinds of depression, disappointment, depression and anxiety.
So in order to avoid facing failure, psychological pressure arises.
After psychological pressure, people will not be able to play their normal level, which will directly lead to more failures.
Then we know that the fundamental reason why we dare not strike up a conversation is psychological pressure. How can we face it and minimize its impact?
In short, normal heart.
Psychological stress has a great influence on people's behavior.
It appears from the inner shadow to the outer shadow.
Almost all people will be affected by psychological pressure, and only a few people can overcome it.
Michael Jordan, the god of basketball.
In normal times, many players may throw as well as Jordan, but at the critical moment, it is different.
But the last shot may decide the outcome of the game.
A real conversationalist can reach the phone empty-handed in the face of the girl he cares about most.
Besides, we should understand that failure is inevitable in this world.
You will experience countless failures in your life.
Most people are depressed after failure.
Only a few people can happily face failure, bear failure and succeed after repeated failures and wars.
The author believes that to overcome psychological pressure, we must be able to withstand failure and face it with a normal heart after countless failures.
When you are chatting up, you are rejected countless times. This is experience.
So when you face the next new prey, you can face it with a normal heart and receive a phone call easily.
If you can figure out the psychological pressure, then you can easily take the first step to strike up a conversation.
I think I can break through the psychological pressure and succeed in everything.
In the face of an ordinary-looking girl, you can casually say "hi, hello".
You can easily face a peerless beauty.
Because this sentence is pronounced the same.
You are not affected by the change of object.
The most important key to strike up a conversation is the psychological quality of resisting pressure, not what to say to the other party.
Opening the mouth is the hardest, and it doesn't matter what you say.
The second is the judgment of success probability.
Strike up a conversation is a very high knowledge.
Although many people have the experience of chatting up people,
I may also get a lot of phone calls from girls,
But none of them are masters,
Not to mention the kind of person who occasionally goes to the brain and talks nonsense with girls.
Because a real chat-up expert can judge the success rate before contacting girls and decide whether to make a move or not.
This kind of strike up a conversation expert, don't make moves.
This article "treading on thin ice-Psychological Analysis in Actual Combat" is written for people who have strong pressure resistance and are interested in becoming a good conversationalist.
This paper mainly analyzes all kinds of situations of chatting up, so as to make a correct judgment before making a move and avoid the embarrassment of being rejected.
If you are not strong enough under pressure, or you are not ready to strike up a conversation, please read Hands-on Guidance-How to Take the First Step.
Although chatting up girls is as simple as talking to girls in the past, there are often many situations that make us flinch.
When a woman is alone, maybe you dare to go over and talk to her.
But if there are other friends around her, you may feel that now is not the time.
In the process of chatting up people, the judgment of timing is the most important.
If you can correctly judge the situation, you can certainly get it easily.
If the judgment is wrong, it will be rejected.
Therefore, in the process of chatting up, we must first learn to judge the timing.
Generally speaking, there are four situations (see below), but no matter what the situation is, the author does not recommend acting rashly.
It's best to make eye contact with girls before shooting to test the success rate of shooting.
This can avoid many cases of rejection.
Therefore, the author first explains "eye contact" and then analyzes the situation of chatting up in detail.
Eye contact:
Eye contact is a kind of communication when men and women notice each other.
Almost everyone has had this kind of eye contact, but its internal meaning and representative meaning are not easy to understand.
For a real master, he can read a woman's eyes and the meaning of release, and easily judge whether it is easy to get it, so as to carry out necessary means.
For the average person, the woman's eyes only meet occasionally and can't explain anything.
Therefore, we'd better make eye contact before chatting up to judge whether to make a move.
However, what kind of eyes are suitable for shooting and what kind of eyes are not suitable for shooting cannot be explained simply from words, but only from the accumulation of experience.
So I can't explain it in detail here, but I can only list one of the easiest situations to judge.
Is that you walk in front of a girl, you can get her attention.
This truth should be easy to understand.
For men, what kind of girl walks in front of you and attracts your attention is the girl you think is beautiful.
It means the same thing to women. You can attract her attention, which shows that you are attractive to her.
When this happens, it will be easier to succeed if you accost her in the past than in other situations, but it can't guarantee success (for example, girls are conservative and have boyfriends, etc.). ).
Therefore, before hitting on a woman, it is best not to be reckless, but to sway in front of her as much as possible to attract her attention.
If she doesn't notice you, it doesn't mean that she won't move, but it's not so easy to take her to bed after moving (except when girls bow their heads and think about things or are in a daze). Because the author thinks that not attracting the attention of the other party means that you are not the girl's type, it takes other means to take you to bed (see the next article for details), which requires a lot of effort.
The following specific situation is analyzed in detail
1
Solitude refers to when a girl has no other friends around her.
This is usually the situation that men want to meet most, and it is also the situation that men make the most moves (but not necessarily the most successful situation).
When this happens, women can talk to girls slowly and show their charm without being too embarrassed when they are rejected.
For beginners or inexperienced people, the author suggests that it is better to let girls do it alone.
However, sometimes a girl is alone, but it is not easy to shoot.
This is usually a situation that attracts others' attention after you make a move.
The author suggests that it will be easier to handle the girl aside after the first contact, and it will not cause the psychological tension of the novice.
Have female friends (excluding men)
For the average person, there are many cases where girls have other friends around them.
For example, girls go shopping with their classmates, or eat together, and so on.
In this case, most people will stop and wait for the next chance to be alone.
However, for the author, this situation is the most successful opportunity to strike up a conversation (compared with other situations).
Because when two or more girls are together, it is time to show their sexual charm.
At this time, someone will get more vanity than when she is alone.
If her friends are also beautiful women, this vanity will be stronger.
She will even say a few words to you on purpose to show each other.
I feel very helpless about this situation in the rookie stage.
Later, I figured this out. I often strike up a conversation when several female companions travel together, giving the girl enough face and making a phone call.
3 have male friends
When girls have male friends around them, it is best not to strike up a conversation, even if many men and women play together.
Because you can't judge the relationship between these people at this time, you may be beaten if you act rashly.
If it's a boyfriend, don't rush in, or you may die.
In the case of chatting up, there is a great chance of having a male friend (beautiful women are usually accompanied).
At this time, girls tend to show more sexual charm than when they are alone.
When the author encounters this situation, he is usually very dry in his heart (because the other party clearly hints, but he can't do it himself), but he is helpless.
A friend of the author has asked for a phone call in this situation several times.
A few times, I didn't know my boyfriend was around, and once, the girl deliberately cooperated.
That time their couple went on a date, the boy went to the bathroom, and this guy walked over and accosted.
But I saw that the boy came back before I got the call, so he came back quickly.
Later, the two men looked at each other across the table, and the girl took the opportunity to go to the toilet and walked by the solitaire. Solitaire handed her a small note with a phone.
Although air solitaire (now you know the origin of its name) can accomplish this impossible task,
But for the average person, it is best not to take risks to keep safe.
4 have parents (elders)
I can't cope with this situation.
The author thinks that you may have been killed by the other parents before you received the call.
Unless you can get rid of his parents first and win their favor.
However, even if her parents agree with you to do so, the heroine may not listen to her parents.
Therefore, the author suggests that in this case, just look at it more and don't think too much, so as not to waste time.
In life, there are always scenes where we meet a woman who is attractive at least in appearance in the corner of the city. I believe many men have encountered the problem of passing by with loss or bravely stepping forward. Going or not? What should I say when I sleep? Will she ignore me? When you think about these problems, you may have lost the opportunity to know and communicate with this MM. Go forward with a smile and you will find it easy to strike up a conversation.
I talked to mm many times, and the overall success rate was over 80%. Personally, chatting up is the best way to test a man's communicative ability and overall cultivation. A successful conversation contains wisdom and courage, which is an art. Let me talk about some superficial views and experiences.
People and articles
Harmony is a man-made factor in accosting people, which can be analyzed from three angles: the accosted person, the accosted object and the people around the accosted object.
Personal factors: first of all, you should look average. Of course, handsome guys have an advantage in this respect, but women are different from men. A man with an average appearance and a normal figure can also get their favor. A man who is too beautiful and ostentatious sometimes makes them feel disgusted. Looks are natural, but clothes can be changed. Try not to wear anything like Hahan's clothes or quaint clothes to strike up a conversation. Maybe you think you are cool, but women are inherently insecure, and no matter how cool and handsome they are, they can't resist their deep fear of strangers. The suit and tie are not very good either. If you're not wearing Armani, at least take off your tie.
An ordinary T-shirt and a pair of jeans are enough. The key is to be clean and tidy, so that girls can feel that you are a serious person first, so that you can get close to her and make her believe what you say.
Target object: it is the target mm, which is a person's skill to survive in society. Observe the object you want to shoot first, and see what type she is to suit the remedy to the case. Of course, it takes experience, but at least she can always tell if she is in a good mood now! If her eyes fall on you, you'd better smile (very important) and see if she will smile back; If your eyes meet, it's best not to avoid or retreat. This is the best opportunity to turn passive into active, and see if she will bow her head shyly. If she can, then you can say that you have succeeded halfway.
People around the target: mm rarely acts alone, and in most cases she has companions around her. We should take a good look at this. It's silly to talk to a mm, and her boyfriend will come over soon.
When Mm has female companions, it is not good to have too many female companions. It bothers me to talk about them. You'd better forgive yourself if they ask you to invite all of them to dinner. After all, you only care about one of them. The situation of the two female companions is good, because at this time, the two female companions will go aside to chat by themselves. In the case of a female companion (which is the most common situation), it is the most difficult, because the relationship between them is relatively close. She cares about talking to you, which will cause dissatisfaction with her partner. It's embarrassing that you can't care about both of them at the same time. The target mm may also deliberately put on a high profile because of this. At this time, your language communication ability will be tested. If you find that there is no companion after careful observation, and it is a godsend, act quickly!
Case List: Location: Wu Yueyuan, Xuhui District, Shanghai.
When I was a sophomore, many people went to the game room on the third floor of May Garden, which contained many MMs. I often go there to play kof when I don't have a girlfriend. Once I noticed a mm, wearing a denim skirt and half long hair, which looked good. After careful observation, she found that she had an inseparable female companion, and the relationship between them seemed to be good. That female companion wears glasses and takes good care of that mm's appearance. I didn't make a move until my date went out. Mm is playing bubble dragon, so I'll put in a coin to play with her. In less than 30 seconds, mm was ko by me. She looks a little overwhelmed and seems to want to leave. I helped her put in a coin and said to her with a casual smile, "Would you like to play with me again?" After a few words, I felt that she had been laughing, and asked her for a phone number without saying anything. My intuition tells me that there is a game. But just then, the woman came back. This is a disaster. The dinosaur with glasses first glared at me, and then took mm away. I missed it and failed, I think.
I stayed in the game room for a while. If I lost anything, I went downstairs to Xinya Dabao. After ordering something, I turned around and saw mm and the glasses girl sitting not far away and passed out. They also saw me, and I smiled politely. I chose a table far away from them for dinner. I ate faster, and they didn't eat well after eating. I wanted to go straight back, but I finally went to their desk and said hello: "Hello!" " "Facts have proved that my decision is correct. Just as I walked out of Xinya's big bag for about 20 steps, mm caught up with me and gave me a note with her phone number and mobile phone on it.
Shi Tian tablets
"Everything is ready, only the east wind." Just in time. Heaven is always changing. Which season of the year has the highest success rate? In what climate is the possibility of success high? When is the easiest time to strike up a conversation in a day?
The ancients said that women in spring are Qiu Si scholars, which makes sense. But it's different when talking to people. I think the success rate of hitting on people is the same all year round, whether it's windy or rainy. There is no problem that the weather affects success. The key is whether you can use it or not.
For myself, I hardly go out with an umbrella, especially at school. Rainy days are the best weather for me. Because it rains, you can borrow an umbrella from mm, so there are mm everywhere in classrooms, restaurants, libraries and normal universities. And the reason is grandiose, you can say that it will be sent to you in one minute. You can buy one from the supermarket under the mm umbrella, or you can get one from the dormitory. Umbrella is not your purpose, the key is that she knows you when she borrows it, and trusts you initially when she returns it. It is recommended to borrow it from the restaurant when eating, because there are more mm there, which is not as tiring as running the classroom. More importantly, mm seldom comes to dinner alone. You can borrow her umbrella and let her go with her date. I did this to get her phone number directly. It can also be used outside the school. Don't be timid because of the bad weather.
When is the best time of day to strike up a conversation? It is very inappropriate to strike up a conversation at night, unless it is in a specific place. Human nature is afraid of the dark, and with the improvement of adulthood, girls are more afraid of the dark than boys. Personally, I don't strike up a conversation at night. I don't forget the past and learn from the future. At night, it is difficult for mm to see your face clearly and feel the sincerity you want to express. It's really hard. This refers to some relatively empty places, such as roads, playgrounds and so on. Besides, if you can't see her clearly, you will inevitably mistake her for a beautiful woman. So for your safety and hers, try to avoid chatting in an open place at night.
Case List: Location: Changqiao District, Xuhui District, Shanghai
I was a sophomore. At that time, when I rented a house in Changqiao Sancun, I often had to take 13 1 or 804 to go to class. Sitting at 13 1 at night is a sin, and it will be squeezed into a human shape. One night, I came out of school and noticed a mm while waiting for the bus at the station. She looks cute in a pink sweater and with broken hair. However, he looks younger. I guess he is a student in the middle school attached to Normal University or has come to Normal University to make up lessons. She went to 13 1 and I followed her. I've been staring at her. The bus was crowded and she protected herself well. There are more and more people on the bus. It's a tragedy that beautiful girls squeeze into buses or subways. . . . . . There are too many unfortunate people in the world. I have been waiting for the bus with few people, trying to squeeze in to help her block, and I also have the psychology of knowing and protecting her, but there are too many people on the bus.
At the station of Shanghai Middle School, she got off the bus like a fly, and I just got off at that station. I looked at my watch. It's almost 10. She walked in front, and I was wondering if I should go up and strike up a conversation. At that time, the environment was very bad, and the street lights around were very dark. It happened that I wore a rather quaint dark blue T-shirt, and more importantly, she just got off the bus. Reason told me I couldn't go up, but in the end I persisted in a daze. "Hello, classmate, can you meet me?" I said: She seemed startled and kept turning to look at me. Damn it, why is this street lamp so dim? I thought, keep talking to her. She replied to me, feeling very flustered. The light of the street lamp is getting weaker and weaker. There is no light at the corner of the intersection ahead, and she walks faster and faster. It's probably over, I think, slowing down, but still following her. After a walk, there is an entrance to a new village in front, and there is a very bright street lamp. Judging from her appearance, she is about to cross the road. I know this is the last chance. I stopped her: "classmate". She looked back. At that time, the street lamp flashed in my eyes: "Is there really no chance to know each other?" I stopped and she stopped. We looked at each other for about ten seconds, and she asked, "Can you speak Shanghainese?" I smiled and said nothing. I saw her smile, too. Watching her walk into the new village, I think it's really a failure this time.
Geographical articles
"Winning the world depends on the time, place and people." Geographical location is also a key factor in chatting up people, so we should put aside some special places here. Chatting up in special places is often directly related to sex, and it is likely to involve money, which is not considered here for the time being.
In most cases, a relatively closed place is better than an open place, and a place with people is better than a place without people. Classrooms, buses and restaurants are all quite good places to strike up a conversation; On the busy road, the playground was almost there. I don't know if it's because women are responsible for raising the next generation, so it's easier to feel safe in a relatively closed place, which is why most women want a warm small family more than men. But this is not absolute. No one is stupid enough to talk to a woman in front of 10 people in a closed elevator. All elevators have monitors. If only you and the girl you've always wanted to know are in the elevator to work, it's an opportunity given to you by God!
In most cases, you can't choose the place to strike up a conversation, because you can't predict the direction of MM, just wait for a better environment, and sometimes you will lose the opportunity. Therefore, the knowledge of geographical location is the most difficult for a chat-up person to master. It requires long-term practice and reasoning, and it needs to be applied in combination with the right time, the right place and the right person, so that it can be recruited without success.
Case List: Location: Southern Suburb of Shanghai Normal University
That was my junior year and I moved to New Village of Normal University. As far as hitting on mm is concerned, I have been through many battles. That night, a group of wolves and I taught reading and foraging in the southern suburbs. Southern religion is not big, just three floors. Boring, we always look at the classroom separately and look for mm, but I didn't. I was smoking in the window on the second floor, and a "wolf" friend came to report that there was a beautiful mm in the classroom of this building. We immediately rushed over to check and saw a mm in the first row of the window of a classroom, with long black hair like a waterfall and graceful figure, which is my favorite type. All the "wolf" friends looked at each other, and you started fighting for the prey before you got it. I am more awake: "Please, I haven't seen my face yet. What's the hurry?" "Must be good, even with this figure. . . . "(Ugly, omit 100)" Are you afraid? " A "wolf" friend used stimulation. "Don't look at your usual scenery. I don't think I can meet this type of woman. " Haha, shall I bet you? I promise to get a call from her tonight! "After verbally agreed on a big meal, a group of us filed in.
I went straight to the seat behind her and sat down. The "wolf" friends behind me were really not interesting enough and gave a strange laugh. I looked a little when I passed in front of her just now, and my face was not bad. I watched it carefully in the back for a while. It's really perfect hair and beautiful shoulders. I still keep my head down, quite feminine, but I feel very introverted. I think it's a bit tricky. Over time, mm will leave at any time, and it is not easy to succeed directly by chatting up or passing a note. Then what should I do? Just then, mm stood up, damn it! You can't leave. Good thing I didn't take anything. I went to the bathroom. I thought about it. After a while, there was a piece of paper under her book. After a while, mm came back. After sitting down, she saw this piece of paper and felt that she smiled quietly, then took out her mobile phone. I turned around and made a victory sign to all my wolf friends. Moments later, my mobile phone rang, and I received a short message from mm in front. My handwriting on the paper is: classmate, your hair is really beautiful! What is the secret of protecting the law? /kloc-0 135xxxxxxxx Wu.
Miscellaneous articles-use of tools
If the public wants to do a good job, they must first sharpen their tools. The tool here is just a tool. Just like picking up girls, there are many tools to use. Using these well will definitely get twice the result with half the effort. The most eye-catching thing is transportation. Don't talk to mm with a small battery. Bicycles are better than this. If you have a sports car, even the Geely Beauty Leopard is a weapon for those who want to compete. A friend and I drove a silver sports car around the campus of Normal University. This guy also removed the silencer and turned on the stereo at full blast. This kind of lethality has reached a considerable level, but mm's motivation is questionable.
Not everyone has a sports car, and not everyone can afford a puppy. Sometimes puppies are even more lethal than sports cars. I often hide a puppy in my backpack and visit Normal University. I sat downstairs in the camphor garden where milk tea was sold and took the puppy out. I saw mm people swarming in. Of course, waiting for the rabbit may not find your favorite MM. At this time, the dog will suffer a little, so give him a bath. . . . . . Looking for mm with a wet dog: "Do you have a hair dryer, classmate?"
It happened again.
In addition, there are many props to use. Due to space constraints, it is not too cumbersome. In fact, tools are only an auxiliary means, and the key is * * * own understanding of the weather, places and people.
label
In this world, it can be said that there is no mm who can't strike up a conversation. The only question is whether she will let you chat up. Even if you are a handsome man; Even if you have money, you can't get mm's phone number without chatting up. Chatting up is to show your masculine charm in all directions. A successful chat-up will make you more confident and attractive. Mm also don't equate accosting with lewdness. In countries like France and Italy, if a man doesn't know the skills of hitting on people, he will be laughed at. Ask yourself, you can talk to complete strangers online, why can't you accept the admiration of normal men in real life?
I wish every man can pass by himself and become friends or even partners with the mm who passed by in the future. Love is innocent, long live dialogue!