There are too many bacteria in the outside world, and I am afraid that I will be infected as soon as I go out.
Don't come to me when you are bored, or I will appear redundant.
4, hang a mosquito net and sleep naked in it, Doby mosquito, make it anxious.
5, weeding at noon, nothing to see the general. It is better to fight the landlord than to have nothing to do.
If the teacher hadn't said you couldn't litter, I would have thrown you out.
7. The biggest revenge for you is to live happier than you.
8. Without toads, swans would be lonely.
9. I am a bachelor. I'm ashamed. I waste paper for my country.
10, you are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you because I am not afraid of death.
1 1. Comparing two fish, the handsome one is tomorrow's dish. ...
12, I don't hate you because I don't want to remember you.
13, do you know how brave I need to dial your number, but you turn it off?
14. Do you invite others to dinner every time? Actually, I'm starving.
15, yes. How famous you are. You have made more than 100 movies, and now you are not allowed to play pornographic content.
16, dad said handsome men lie, and mom said unattractive men lie. Your father is a good example.
17, it is better to be cruel and heartless than to be heartbroken.
18. Look at your ranking and you will know how many people are in your class.
19, upper-class people always like to do some dirty work.
20. Take the child by the hand and drag it away. If the child doesn't leave, he will faint and continue to drag.
2 1, don't tell me you love me, this sentence makes me want to vomit …
22, often walk in the kitchen, how can you not cut your hand?
23. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.
24. The most attractive person is Master Kong, and thousands of people hit on him every day.
25. I'm actually in good shape, fat but not greasy.
26. When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital!
27. If you are so rich, why don't you let the mare go?
28. Don't compare people with dogs. Dogs are at least loyal.
29. Life is like a journey, and you may capsize somewhere.
I don't accept garbage, so I can't let you be on call.
3 1, I'm not a straw boat, don't give me your bitch.
32. Your shortness is lifelong, and my fatness is temporary.
I am not a bone. I can't let every dog run after me.
34.a: Sister, if someone hurts you, how long will you forgive him? B: It is God's business to forgive him. I will send her to God in my mission.
35, country, why don't you take the face to study bulletproof vests?
36. I am not a TV. Don't always stare at me.
37. Goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair and pour the water, light the pot!
38. Even if you are already taken, I will use flowers instead of trees.
There is only one channel in my heart, and the most hateful thing is that there is no advertisement yet.
Don't put pressure on me, it will be my motivation to become your boss.
4 1, the teacher said: there is no regret medicine in the world, only rat medicine.
42. If the daughter-in-law is gone, she can find it again. Mom, there is only one.
If I win 5 million, I think I'd better donate it to my account.
44. Let the storm come more violently, and let the date get soaked.
Interesting quote
1, I like children, and I like the process of being a child! Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.
I finally found a way to stay young, that is, take more photos!
God didn't take special care of me, and didn't abandon me, just playing with me.
5, teacher, you wait, the old woman is going to let the Buddha give her marriage!
6. I haven't hit on you, so why hit on me?
7. Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil.
8. There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.
9. After studying for more than ten years, it is better to mix in kindergarten.
10, computer, come on, let me go, I am a person with homework.
1 1, I only had a nosebleed once, and I mistook the sanitary napkin for a mask!
12, this lady is the unexplored Bikachu. A gentleman is a wolf in wool.
13, my future is not a dream, but a nightmare.
14, before I touched the flowers and twisted the grass, someone else pulled it out.
15, I want to play with feelings, not your organs!
16, thank you for stealing my partner and letting me know that he is putting on airs.
17, love a person all, including her cotton trousers.
18, prostitution is due to lack of money, and now prostitution is due to lack of men.
19, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me?
20. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.
2 1, I didn't give it to the woman at first, but I was in a hurry to get it later!
22. Being a man is still quite comfortable!
23. The best wishes are not written on greeting cards, but in the remarks column of transfer.
24. Don't think that just because a girl is beautiful can make me tempted, at least she is stupid enough!
25. If being rich is a mistake, I'd rather make it again.
26, believe it or not, but also fucking WeChat.
Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.
Everyone says I'm obedient, but I only listen to myself.
29. Actually, I have never left the Jianghu. I just dive in the Jianghu for a long time.
I said I love you to the sky, and it thundered.
3 1, I suggest that Japanese women be arrested and put in our men's prison.
32. You accompany me to jump off the building on the first floor, and I will accompany you to jump into the river in the desert.
You can't miss yourself, you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of yourself, you can't give yourself happiness.
34. Study hard for China! A pack of China cigarettes is a lot of money!
35. Money is a good medicine, and it has a blatant effect.
It is said that the tears you shed are the water in your head.
37. At least I wear glasses. How can I flirt with a good woman?
38. If you were a flower, cows would not dare to shit in the future.
How happy children will be if their homework can be copied and pasted.
40. When the goods expire and people are tired of watching them, how long can you be awesome in dad's eyes?
4 1, your teeth are like stars in the sky, brightly colored and far apart.
42. As the saying goes, leaders are not afraid of being like donkeys, but subordinates are afraid of being like pigs.
43. They said I was BT and asked me to do CT, but I turned out to be ET.
44, Yuanyang playing in the water, all fucking drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead!
45. I changed her from a girl to a woman; She turned me from a boy into a poor man.
Love your neighbor, but don't let her husband know!
47. Our goal: Look at the money and earn more.
48. Actually, I am a genius, but unfortunately I am jealous of talents!
49. I thought I was a flower on the cliff, but later I realized that I was just a scum in the sea of people.
50. Behind every successful Altman, there is a little monster who is beaten silently.
5 1. Were you thrown three times and only caught twice when you were born?
52. There are many beauties in Jiangshan, and countless mistresses have made coquetry.
53, in the shower, please don't disturb or peek, please buy a ticket, 40 for individuals and 20 for groups!
54. I comfort myself every time I finish the exam. It's okay. Participation is very important.
55. If you count the increase in wages and pork, you will find that you are not even as good as a pig!
56. Flip a coin: surf the Internet on the front, sleep on the back, stand up and do your homework.
57. If you get married, don't marry anyone else, and don't marry me.
58. In the eyes of fools, the cleverness of smart people is worthless.
59. Eat, I want it, thin, I want it, you can't have your cake and eat it, so I went.
60. Some people test their strength, others test their eyesight, and we have to rely on our imagination. .
6 1. It is said that people have only two choices, either get busy dying or get busy living. I think I have a third option: I'm busy waiting for death.
62. None of the women who participated in the beauty pageant can find a good man, because all the good men are married, such as me.
There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women on the campus of Beihou University will live forever.
64. I once had a pair of wings, but I didn't use them to soar in the sky, but put them in a pot to stew soup.
65. We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung.
66. I was raped by Sichuan University. The only thing I can do now is to try to put my posture in the right position!
67. As the saying goes, men don't care, unless they have menstruation, women are not coquettish enough and their grades are not high enough.
68. I don't like sleeping with one woman many times, but I like sleeping with many women only once.
69. I said: How can I thank you for your kindness? Let me marry you! He said, "How can I bite the hand that feeds me?
70. The mosquito was really angry after biting you, but what was even more angry was that it bit you, but you couldn't find it!
7 1. Women who say they are smart are unlikely to be dated, let alone hijacked by terrorists.
72. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.
73. Bus crowding is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam.
74. My dream: I have something to do as a secretary and nothing to do as a secretary. The reality is that the secretary can't do it, and the secretary can't do anything.
75. See you soon after graduation; Have a wife a year after graduation; Later I regretted having a wife; Later, there was a stepmother; I regret having a stepwife the most.
76. Examinations are like getting sick. Depression before the exam, amnesia during the exam. After the exam, my condition began to improve. I had a heart attack when I got the newspaper back.
77. The three most painful things for men: being caught by a lover to accompany his wife to buy food; Caught by his wife shopping with sympathizers; Trapped in an alley by his wife and lover at the same time.
78. I have grown hair and troubles. Don't think an old woman is not a monk just because she has long hair. In fact, I have been thinking about the teacher in the arms of Taoist priests.
Doctor, I can't sleep recently. I am in a bad mood and can't eat. Am I swollen? The doctor asked: How old are you this year? I: 15 years old. The doctor said, you haven't finished your homework.
80. I joked with a girl in the private room that I really miss the sun! What does sister mean by the sun? I said the sun is the sun! Sister smiled: You want me to make it clear! You intellectuals!
An interesting quotation
1. Aren't you afraid of being scared by your balls when you cheat?
There are no twenty or thirty papers in my hand these days, so I'm embarrassed to tell people that school is on holiday.
Rourou, you go, don't be so infatuated with me, let's break up. We are not suitable. Really.
Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the mountain, and the world has the Great Wall.
5. My ideal is to walk slowly with a load of shit to see who is not pleasing to the eye.
6. Neurological patients have a wide range of thinking, and mentally retarded children have more fun.
If you often don't eat on time, you should take medicine on time.
8. What the RMB should do is to follow the path of the US dollar, leaving the US dollar with no way out.
9. A Taoist who doesn't want to be an abbot is not a good Taoist!
10. If you can't bear it, bear it again!
1 1. Above knows astronomy, below knows geography, but not English.
12. A good horse doesn't eat grass when he turns back, because there is no grass when he turns back.
13. Life is like taking a shit. Even if you try hard, you can still pull it out.
14. I swear never to swear again!
15. I am short of money and women, but I am not fucking wicked!
16. Half of life is bad luck, and the other half is dealing with bad things.
17. How much sorrow can there be, just like a group of eunuchs watching a brothel.
18. Stand higher and pee farther.
19. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.
The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.
2 1. Please respect yourself. My little girl only sells herself and doesn't perform.
22. There is a fart, and the heart is not good; Do not fart, exercise; I'm going to fart, everyone. Fart rang, everyone applauded!
23. I am too beautiful to die.
24. Busy is super busy! Super busy! Super Isaiah is very busy!
25. Going to work is to carry forward the spirit that dead mice are not afraid of cold!
26. If you do this again in the future, don't blame me for being inhuman!
27. The depreciation rate of women is amazing. It only takes one night to change from a bride to a wife.
28. Effect of contraception: If you don't succeed, you will become an adult.
29. Look at beautiful women in the street. If you look up, you will appreciate them. If you look down, you will be hooligans.
30. Money treats me like dirt, and I treat money like dirt! It's all dirt. Who's afraid of who?
3 1. When you grow up, no one dares to give birth to you in the next life!
My future is not a dream, but a nightmare.
33. The sky is wild and the wind blows the grass low.
34. Part I: Hahahahaha Part II: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe. Horizontal batch: there is something wrong with the nerve.
The complete works of funny quotations in one sentence
1, spoony guy likes who doesn't like me!
The difference between me and a madman is that I am not crazy!
3. Have a pen, a dream, courage, madness and gentleness.
4. Youth comes only once, and it can't come back. Therefore, it is necessary to be forgiven for subverting the whole world smartly-whimsy wants to be thorough, destruction should be powerful, patents should be obtained when things go wrong, stunts should be forced, and the whole person depends on talent and fate.
5. Unload the baggage that can't be unloaded, the road that can't be retired, endure tears and pursue the untraceable future.
If I die before I wake up, I pray that God will take my soul away. ...
7. When cobwebs mercilessly sealed my stove, when the smoke of ashes sighed with poverty and sorrow, I still stubbornly spread the ashes of disappointment and wrote with beautiful snowflakes: Believe in the future.
Maybe I will die more peacefully than the lake after a fierce struggle in life. Then please go to the cemetery to find my inscription, which also says: love life.
9. There are dreams of the future in the lit cigarettes, and the blue clouds are the dawn of struggle hope. But now this wisp of smoke has become a sadness in my heart, and the rain has merged into a low cloud.
10, or simply forget her, beggars can't find the warmth of the world, I clearly see the future, and wandering is the goddess of fate.
An interesting quote is the latest.
1. If you have a good impression in the crowd, please convey it with your eyes!
2. The fireworks that bloom at the same time in the night sky can see each other's beautiful moments, but I can't light up your life. ...
3. Men who pretend to be forced are the easiest to be moved, because they even pretend to be moved.
4. If people are bored, you can play with your nose for a while.
After meeting me, you will suddenly find that you are handsome and can be so single-minded!
6. None of the women who participated in the beauty pageant can find a good man, because all the good men are married, such as me.
If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I will resign. Before I resign, I will give him two Chinese and kill him.
8. If pigs can fly, who will buy a plane? Ride a pig to heaven.
I can't find my tie. Didn't you find a rag yesterday?
10, in Egypt, a man can marry four wives, how tired it is, or China.
1 1, and you made me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is unbearable!
12. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.
13, life is sometimes like being raped by a eunuch-resistance is pain, not resistance is still pain!
14, don't mess with me, or I'll let you die rhythmically.
15, it doesn't matter that not every apology can be exchanged.
16, if I become emperor, I will make you a prince!
The only way to get happiness is to cherish what you have and forget what you don't have.
18. Tongue is longer than teeth, and software is longer than hardware.
19, protect yourself and love others, please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.
20. Flowers often don't belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.
A collection of funny quotations in one sentence
1. Besides teeth, there is love in the world.
Getting married is a good idea.
It is better to lie in bed and sleep while watching TV.
Give me a fulcrum, and I'll put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.
I will still look for you in my next life, because besides me, you are the stupidest.
6. Don't blame the dog for following a steamed stuffed bun!
7. Men study PhD because of their low IQ, while women study PhD because of their low EQ.
8. My brother's past love life was quite chaotic.
9. I spent 10,000 yuan on a pottery jar of the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Where is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty?" This is from last week! "
10, you will never become an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!
1 1, I want to let the world know that I am very low-key!
12, unload the baggage that cannot be unloaded, no way back; Endless tears, chasing an untraceable future
13, the fireworks that bloom at the same time in the night sky can see each other's beautiful moments, but I can't light up your life. ...
14. We didn't know what we had until we lost it.
15, people can use nose bubbles for fun if they are bored.
16, you don't know the value of Friday afternoon unless you experience the plunge on Monday morning.
17, what are the bad guys, men who take off their pants during the day and women who don't take off their makeup at night?
18, the real warrior should dare to face up to the beautiful girl and dare to face the bleak singles;
19, you can't treat me as a holiday just because we have a holiday.
20. Put yourself in others' shoes.
2 1. It's a long way, so I'd better take a taxi.
22, my site, you are the landlord.
23. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.
24. What I was most afraid of when I was a child was not dreaming that I couldn't find the toilet. Is that people haven't wake up, the toilet has been found.
25, I think there must be a lot of people secretly love me, because for so many years, no one has confessed to me!
26. I have always had a question in my heart. For several years, for a whole year, what did Big Wolf do for a living? ...
27. A person's longest love history is probably narcissism. ...
28. Three elements of success: persistence; Shameless; Insist on shameless. Did you do it?
29. Donor, the poor monk is here for alms. Do you have a sauce elbow? Fried chicken legs will do. It's good.
30. keitel, why are you crying? Is it because your ass is too hot?