First, don't talk to a man first/don't invite him to dance.
Absolutely not? That's right. Even "Let's have a cup of coffee" or "Do you come here often?" Don't even want such seemingly harmless opening remarks, otherwise how do you know that he noticed you first and was fascinated by you? Do you think it is necessary to know you, or just to show his gentlemanly demeanor? We know that you are thinking, and we also know that such a commandment sounds extreme, needless to say, powerful, stupid and painful, but the whole commandment is of great significance. In the final analysis, the premise of the commandment is that we never do anything and believe in the natural laws of all things, that is, men pursue women. If we talk to a man first, we will interfere with anything that will happen or will not happen, maybe it will lead to a conversation or a date, but it is very likely that the other person didn't mean it, so it is difficult to avoid getting hurt in the process. Finally, he will talk to the girl he really wants and dump you.
Second, don't stare at men and don't chatter.
Look at others first, and you will definitely reveal your interest in them. Let him see you. Let him see you. If he doesn't pay attention to you first, maybe he is not interested in you. It doesn't matter if you go on, others will notice you. On the first date, avoid romantic fantasies and don't look him in the eye, otherwise he will think that you are already planning a honeymoon trip. Look down at the table or food, or just glance at the crowd in the restaurant. It is best to show concern for general things, such as life, others, the environment, and even paintings hanging on the wall, rather than live bait. If you stare at him too many times, he will feel his heart flutter and feel superior. You should restrain yourself and let him try to get your attention all night.
When dating, there will always be moments when both sides have nothing to say. There is no need to fill these silent moments. In the end, you may say something stupid and reluctant. Sometimes men just want to keep silent, so let them be. Maybe he is wondering how he will propose to you one day, so don't ruin his concentration. You don't have to feel that you have to make the other person happy, or that you have to have interesting conversations all the time. He will think you are too reluctant, just concentrate. Remember. Men will only fall in love with your nature, and will not fall in love with you because of the special content of your speech.
Third, don't make an appointment halfway, and don't go Dutch.
Men like challenges, which is why they take part in various sports activities, join wars and like surprise attacks. If you make them feel too easy to get, that's the worst. When a man wants to find a chance to date you, don't say, "Actually, I'm just visiting your house." Don't provide the name of the restaurant between you unless they ask. Don't talk much at all, let him think for himself, speak for himself, find a restaurant in the classified phone book, or make some phone calls to let his friends find a place convenient for you. If a man tries his best to satisfy you, he will never get tired of it. Don't deprive him of fun.
We found that those men who insisted that the woman meet him halfway or even go to his place of residence were always scum in the end: inconsiderate, uncompromising and even stingy, and even suggested going Dutch. It's not that women can't take the subway and pay their own bills, just to satisfy men's chivalry. Therefore, the precepts show that men should pick dates and bills; Equality and go Dutch are feasible in the workplace, but they are not suitable for romantic love battlefields. But if Joan feels guilty about making him pay the bill, you might as well tip; Or you can have a meal, watch a show, take a taxi three times or pay parking fees, and help pay some small fees along the way.
But don't pay a penny for the first three dates, and then you can repay him in your own way, such as cooking dinner for him at your home or buying him a baseball cap. In fact, the best way for you to repay him is to appreciate and appreciate, and say "please" and "thank you" at any time. Even where you go, the food or service is poor, so don't criticize. Try to be positive and see the bright side of things Dating often goes wrong, especially when men are eager to impress you. They are more likely to make mistakes again and again, such as locking their car keys in the car and forgetting to bring tickets to the theater. Don't criticize these accidents, it will make him sad. On the contrary, you should see that he put a lot of effort and money into dating. Being a playful and interesting person, the difference is that you may be not just another date, but a future wife.
Fourth, don't call him.
If you keep the commandments, there is no reason to call him. He should keep calling you until you nod to date him. Calling men is for pursuit, which is completely against the precepts. They will immediately know that you like them, so they may lose interest; Another reason for not calling men is to avoid looking for them when they are doing other things, such as watching football matches, playing billiards, entertaining friends or sleeping. They may not be in the mood to talk to you. Why take such risks? Inevitably, if you call him, he will probably end the conversation soon or first. You may misunderstand his busyness as a lack of interest, or even think that he is with another woman. It is not difficult to understand that you will feel empty and nervous all day or all night until he calls you again. This nervousness may make you want to call him again. "Is everything all right?" Then, you will violate more commandments. Have you ever found that the conversation between men is always sweet? They called you because they missed you at that moment and couldn't wait to hear your voice. But we are not sages. In fact, we have to call back sometimes. Please note that this is to call them back, not to call him. What if he leaves a message on your answering machine on Tuesday night and you are eager to date him on Saturday night? Can you call back on Tuesday night? According to the commandment, the answer is no, because it is too obvious. Obviously, you want to date on Saturday. You'd better ask him to call you again before Wednesday night. I'd rather have no date on Saturday night than be used to calling him. The commandment is not to teach you how to get a date, but to get a husband.
5. Always end the conversation first.
Don't call a man unless you call him back occasionally. When a man calls you, don't take more than ten minutes to answer the phone. Buy a timer if necessary. As soon as the bell rings, you must end the conversation. This way, you look busy and won't reveal too much about yourself or your plans (even if you don't have any plans). By ending the conversation first, you make them want more. Women love to talk, but the biggest mistake is to talk to men as their female friends, therapists or neighbors. Remember, at the beginning of a relationship, a man is the enemy (if he really likes you). He can no longer call you, be bad to you or be indifferent to you and hurt you; Of course, you can also refuse him. In fact, the premise of the commandment is to make men notice you, invite you out, and finally propose to you. He led the project, but the way to save you from pain is not to be too emotional. So, don't talk on the phone for an hour or two, your life will become transparent, and the risk of doing so is to make him feel bored and tired. He doesn't want to date a crazy sister, a nagging mother, and a three-aunt, six-woman Gobi neighbor. Finish the conversation first, so you don't have to wonder if you spent too much time boring him or revealed too much about yourself. You have to hang up the phone first, which will naturally build a certain mystery in his heart. He'll wonder why you hung up so soon. What are you doing? Are you seeing someone else? It's best to confuse him for a while. Commandments (and timers) will make him want to know you. You might think that men will find it abrupt that you suddenly end the conversation and never call again. The opposite is true, because when it comes to love, men become very irrational. You must have your own life, work, interests, hobbies, and friends can fill in the time outside of dating, even if you are married. When dating, the most taboo is to expect him to be your entertainment guide; Don't call others just because you are bored or need their attention. Be happy and busy. You'd better come and go in a hurry when he asks for you.
6. Don't accept weekend invitations after Wednesday.
Times are changing. It is common for men to ask women out on the day they meet women or every day. It is also common for women to accept such temporary and stereotyped invitations because they are afraid that no one will ask them out again that week. However, these are not the dates to follow the commandments. If a man's ultimate goal is to marry you, he won't wait until the last minute to ask you out. On the contrary, he will be very kind, considerate and considerate. He is afraid that if he doesn't ask you out five days ago, he may not see you for a week. If he has fallen in love with you, a week is like centuries. Needless to say, not every man knows that he should not call you on Thursday or Friday night and meet you on Saturday. Some women will accept last-minute invitations to spoil men. If a man doesn't call you earlier, his feelings for you are actually obvious. The best way to encourage him to call early is for him to call on Thursday to invite you out on Saturday and refuse him. I hope he can get a hint. This is not a game, but it is necessary for men to know that they should invite you earlier, because women who keep precepts just can't last until Thursday and Friday. If he doesn't call on Wednesday night, he plans to do something else on the weekend. Remember, the precepts are about long-term interests. Men's performance in the pursuit process, or you allow them to treat you like that, is often the same as later marriage. If a man calls you ten minutes before he wants to see you, if you give in, such a man will treat you as a woman who can get it in ten minutes. Of course, we know that if you are crazy about a man, the days outside of dating will be particularly long and unbearable. But remember, whenever he wants to see you, it is even worse for you to come to him, so there is a risk that he will get tired of you. If you play the right card, his bottom conclusion is that whenever he wants to see you at the last minute, the only way is to marry you.
Seven, before the date, fill your time.
Most women have high expectations for dating. They want men to think they are beautiful and then invite them out to be the fathers of their future children. Needless to say, women with this idea are usually disappointed, which is why we think it is helpful to fill our time as much as possible before dating. Actually, it is necessary. It's best to be busy until the doorbell rings, and I'm still a little breathless until I finally see him in high spirits.
Here are some suggestions you can make before dating:
1, eliminate anxiety.
Buy a new shirt or perfume, get a facial, and be kind to yourself.
3. Take a nap. Make you energetic on a date.
4, watch movies (don't watch romantic movies, so my mind is full of love) read newspapers, read books, put something in my mind, don't remind yourself of your name and his last name. If you are busy all day, when he comes to pick you up, you won't look empty and need him very much.
Here are some things not to do:
1, don't talk about dating female friends all day. You shouldn't even consider dating.
Don't meet people who can't wait to see you get married and have children. Meeting them makes you impatient on a date, but accidentally mentions the word marriage, and finally scares him away.
8. How did the first three dates behave?
If possible, don't think about him before he arrives, at least there is no need to think about him before the first three dates. Don't let him go to your apartment on the first date, and don't let girls play safety cards. Don't leave like old friends on the first three dates. Remember, you are different, you are a beautiful embryo both inside and outside. In fact, in the first three dates, all you have to do is show up and relax. Reread the commandment 1. It is sweet and pleasant to be a "different" person. When he tells jokes, but don't be too reluctant. But you have to keep acting like you've been dating. You should always have the intention of dating other people, so as not to be obsessed with a man. End the date first, especially when you like him. At the end of the first date, you can accept that he gently touches the table on your cheek or lips, even if you want to go further, don't make a move. Use your own judgment on the second date. If you feel comfortable with this man, ask him to pick you up at the apartment and invite him upstairs for a drink before the date ends that night. We know that such a request goes against your own feelings, but you want to get married, don't you? One-night stands are everywhere. In short, the first three dates should be optional. Dress up, be kind and natural, say goodbye and go home. You don't need to put too much emotion, too much investment, too much thought. You may wonder how long the play will last. Don't worry, it's getting easier and more adaptable.
IX. The fourth date of the commitment period
How to show your kindness in the first three dates and your true colors in the fourth date. You can talk about your feelings, as long as you don't go too far or try to play doctor and mother. As long as you show warmth, charm and kind heart. But I still don't mention marriage, wedding, children and the future. He mentioned these words, and he must be in the dominant position. Remember the following: Don't tell him what your astrologer, nutritionist and fitness instructor think of your relationship. Don't tell him how messy your life was before you found the "life reorganization workshop". Don't tell him that he is the first man who respects you, or he will think you are a loser and a down-and-out person. Don't ask about his past relationship, it's none of your business. Don't say "we need to talk" in a serious tone, or he will escape from the chair on the target platform. Don't belittle him with his career achievements, but try to let him play his talents. Don't give him your nervousness. Of course, these words don't need to be kept in my heart forever. Leave them for a few months until he says he loves you. Finally, you can be more like yourself, and let men always remember their first impressions a few months before the date. If you find it difficult to continue the performance in the afternoon, you might as well finish it early.
Ten, first end the date.
If you have never followed the precepts, then you may not know that the first two dates can't last more than five hours. A good way to end an appointment is to look at your watch coldly and say, "God, I really have to go, I'm busy tomorrow" (as mentioned earlier, don't say what you will do tomorrow. That's not important, and it has nothing to do with him. If you really like him, want to marry him, and are happy together, then it is not easy to end the date first. But you still have to do it, because you want him to want you, not to get the opposite effect. If he wants to get to know you better at the end of the date, he can call you the next day, or invite you to meet next time after he takes you home. Our experience is that a man will want to see you at first, sometimes almost every day, but he will soon get bored. Therefore, it is better to keep the precepts, and he will continue to be fascinated by you.
11. Don't meet more than twice a week.
Most men are more likely to fall in love than women, but they are also more likely to change their minds. At first, they may see you two or three times a week, and some even meet every day. If you say yes every time, he will eventually become impetuous and irritable and then stop calling. They often say emotionally, "I don't know how to play, but a lot has happened recently." So don't let men bear it all at once. Don't meet more than twice a week in the first month or two. Let him think that you have "something else". He is not the only man or the only concern in your life. Every time I hear a woman say that she has met a wonderful man, and they meet every day, we will think, "Oh, no, this will not end well." Women should slow down their love, not let men do it. This is a bit painful, because it is natural for two people who love each other to want to be together at any time. When he invites you out on weekend nights, brunch on Sunday and Monday. . . It's really hard for you to say no. But, girls, keep your feet steady and don't let him think you are relaxed. Remember, it doesn't have to be like this forever. A man who loves you and wants to marry you won't hate the way you set the date at first. Keeping precepts will make it hard for you to get, and it won't make men who don't really love you waste each other's time, so you help yourself and others. Do not meet more than twice a week!
Twelve, the first date, don't cross the line.
As we all know, on the first date, men always try their best to get more from you, so your responsibility is to slow down and let him kiss you politely, and nothing else. Just letting him kiss you will force him not to regard you as his sexual object. If he wants to develop a relationship based on precepts, then he needs to fall in love with your heart, your whole person, not just your body. So the less physical contact, the better. Besides, if you don't make things too hot at once, it's easier to stop things from happening. Some men will make you feel too old-fashioned and too disciplined, and some men will make fun of you or get angry. Try to let them know in good faith that "if they don't like it, don't waste time on you". If a man forces you, don't date him. Keep telling yourself that many women spoil men by sleeping with them on the first date, but you are not. You are a girl who abides by the precepts and has a long way to go. If he really cares about you, he must respect your bottom line; If he is a gentleman, he will develop physical relationships at your pace and never force you. Besides, if you follow the ninth commandment, things will not get out of control.
Thirteen, don't rush to bed and other intimate behaviors.
When can I go to bed? The answer depends on your age and personal feelings. If you are only 18 years old and still a virgin, it is not too late to wait until you have an ending relationship. If you are 39 years old, you can wait a month or two. If you strongly oppose premarital sex, of course, it's best to wait until after marriage. If he loves you, he will respect any decision you make. However, if you are also eager to have sex, it is as difficult to refuse yourself as it is to refuse him. Does that mean you can sleep with him on the first date? Unfortunately, the answer is no.
You need to practice self-restraint and personality reconstruction. I believe that as long as you can put it off for a few more months, you won't regret it. Why risk being considered "you are cheap" by him and let him say "you are cheap" in front of his good friends in the restaurant the next day? It is better to make him angry and seduce you on the next date than to let him divert his goal to pursue other girls. We know that it is torture not to touch a person you like for a long time, but we must look far. If you play the right cards, don't you go to the Spring Festival Gala every night after you get married? The fact is that some women sleep with men too early. These women hope to exchange physical intimacy for emotional intimacy, security and commitment to the future, so they soon scare away men. If you've been dating someone for a month or two and you're not going to sleep with him, you'd better let him know, or he'll think you're playing with him. Be sure to wear a condom when you sleep at last. Don't give in when a man says "Not this time". Discipline girls should take care of themselves and protect themselves.
Don't tell him what to do.
If your boyfriend wants to join a new fitness club, there are many beautiful women with long legs working out. Don't let him jog in the street or exercise at home. Just say "all right" and do your own thing. Don't act jealous or feel unsafe. If he loves you, it doesn't matter how beautiful the girl in the fitness center is. A man can do whatever he wants. If he can't live with you, or he can't live without you, it's obvious. Don't be too slow. If you see something wrong, you'd better turn over quickly and change to a man. Don't try to change his life. Don't search his closet, throw away his favorite but disgusting old jeans and suggest buying new ones together. You don't own him, so don't try to punish him, because in the end you will "castrate" him and he will think you are an overbearing bitch. He wants someone who can make him feel comfortable, not someone who is useless. So stay away from him. If he asks you what to wear or how to play tennis, it's not too late for you to help him.
Fifteen, let him lead the date.
It's like slow dancing should be dominated by men, or you will step on your own feet. He should be like an open book, and you should be a mystery. Don't tell him: for a long time, he is the first man you like so much, or you think you will never fall in love again. Remember, let him take the lead and show his love first, just like he chooses most movies, let him choose restaurants and concerts. Sometimes he will ask your opinion and tell him. Unless he meets you at your parents' house, you should meet his parents before he meets them.
Don't expect a man to change or want to change him.
Don't try to change him, because men will never really change, especially men after 30. You can either accept some shortcomings or find someone else. Of course, it also depends on what kind of shortcomings are bothering you. If it is annoying but harmless, I hope you can try to accept it and don't nag him. It's no use nagging anyway.
If you are disloyal or inconsiderate, you might as well seriously consider ending your relationship. Basically, people have not changed much, and you can't expect others to change. What you see is what you will get. If a man cheats you in pursuit, he will cheat you in marriage. It may be a while after you catch it for the first time, but don't deceive yourself. Of course, playboy loves you because you obey the precepts, and he will automatically adjust his way. He will be loyal, because you are not like other women he has dated. It is not easy to decide whether you can tolerate a man's bad habits or his past. In any case, you should think quietly alone, or ask for guidance and advice from others, but remember, you are the one who wants to live with these things. Whatever you do, don't nag him, or he will lose his temper with you and think it over, but don't waste too much time making decisions. Don't forget, there are many good men.
17. Don't tell the whole story.
Dating is not therapy. Influenced by psychotherapy and self-growth books, it is easy for women to talk about their past relationships, injuries and fears, alcoholism or drug abuse. In the first few dates, everything was just to tie up the new man. But this is not only boring and lethal, but also smart and relaxed, interesting and mysterious, which is why we suggest not telling the whole story too early. The first date should be short and you won't talk much. Remember, talking too much will fail. If you want to say something personal to others, but you are ashamed and nervous, you'd better wait for a while. Wait a few months, preferably after he says "I love you". Your secret has nothing to do with him unless he loves you.
Too many women are too eager to reveal personal details of their lives. This is not only unwise, but also useless. No man wants to take your therapy class at the first meeting, and he doesn't want to hear how chaotic and evil your life was before he really fell in love with you. We don't suggest that you hide unpleasant things in your life or lie to him, just suggest that you don't have to add some cruel details to him too early. Does he really need to know that your ex-boyfriend dumped you for your best friend? If he asks about your last love history, can't you say "it's over"? He should always feel that he loves the dream lover, not the scarred one. If you have been hurt, please reread the Commandment 1. Don't forget, you are another person. Your secret itself is not important. What matters is when you tell him the secret hidden in your heart.
Eighteen years old, honest and mysterious
Men like mystery. We are all looking for someone to share our life, thoughts and feelings with. However, as suggested by commandment 18, we must wait until he says he loves you before we can share your deepest secrets with him. He's in your apartment. Don't let him hear your phone message. Let him guess who else called you besides him. Maybe you know it was left by female friends who died because of frustration in love, but he doesn't know who it is! If he is in your apartment and his friends just call to ask if everything is going well, don't say, "Who's here?" I can't say more. " This means that you have been talking about him with your friends. He has some weight. Before he came to your apartment, he made sure that all kinds of self-growth books were gone and all he saw were interesting popular novels.
In short, don't disclose any information unless necessary. Besides, girls who keep the precepts will not lie. Don't tell your boyfriend that you like children and want them just because he likes them. Actually, you didn't. Take our advice and don't lie. This is a general principle.
Finally, good luck.