The author Dr. Tal Ben Shahar graduated from Harvard University. He holds a master's degree in psychology, a doctorate in philosophy and organizational behavior, and is also the most popular "life mentor" at Harvard University. His two courses, Positive Psychology and Leadership Psychology, were selected as the most popular courses by Harvard students respectively.
From the beginning, the author began to deeply understand the realistic problem of happiness through the pursuit of the champion goal and the psychological gap after realization, thus starting decades of exploration and research.
This book is very thin, but my time to take care of the baby is limited. I spent two whole weeks reading carefully and doing corresponding exercises.
The highlight of this book is that it perfectly combines the method of teaching people to get happiness with the scientific research results about happiness. After reading this book, you will find and understand that it contains the essence of the most popular courses in Harvard University today.
Everyone wants to be happy, but how many people can explain what happiness is? This book is full of intelligent language style. Bring the secret of happiness to our hearts like spring breeze.
The author explains different people's different pursuit of happiness by dividing life into four types.
Among them, three types of unhappiness are busy and rushing at the expense of immediate happiness and only focusing on future goals; The hedonistic type of relaxing in time and enjoying life; A type of nihilism that is disappointed in everything and does nothing.
We always think that happiness is a destination, but it is really happiness. In fact, it is not only the goal, but also the whole process of endless pursuit. We should work hard for our goals and perhaps enjoy every moment.
We need to pay attention to the happiness in the process, that is, the happiness that can be obtained by current interests, as well as the significance of future work and life. This is a combination of short-term happiness and long-term significance.
This book is divided into three articles.
Including answering questions about happiness, four Hamburg modes of life, the meaning of happiness, happiness is the ultimate wealth of life, setting the goal of happiness, five chapters.
Interpret happy learning method and happy working method, and manage happy intimate relationship.
These seven chapters are elaborated from the soil of happiness ~ having a kind heart, fertilizer of happiness, root of happiness, sunshine of happiness ~ inner strength and growth of happiness ~ wisdom of mind, enjoying the flowers of happiness ~ calmly and calmly, and the principle of happiness first.
Through our understanding of the catalogue, we will find that. The content of the whole book is still a lot, and the order is very clear.
In order to have a deeper understanding of this book, I analyzed it with my own unique method of reading pictures, and I will share it with you below.
First of all, let me show you my reading notes.
In order to achieve the purpose of efficient reading and intensive reading, I will mark the key contents under each chapter of my book, thus forming the overall framework and key understanding of the book.
In this way, a framework of the whole book can be realized through some keywords in the catalogue.
When we have these keywords, we actually need to further expand the three parts of the book. What is the relationship between them?
The first part, what is happiness. We can know that this is an explanation of the true meaning of happiness.
The second part, happiness is everywhere, and the title is a bit confusing, so we need to summarize the core again.
After in-depth analysis, we will find that it mainly tells us that we can get happiness in many ways in life, study and work.
The third part, happiness is like a flower.
It is difficult to know what the content is just by looking at the title, so it is necessary to analyze the content of the length. We can find out through the keywords marked in the catalogue that it is actually telling us how to sublimate our happiness in action and land.
In order to make our practice more clear, we need to reorganize the keywords in the above steps. Form a logical consistency, so I internalized and reorganized the three parts of the original work.
Part 1 is broken down into two parts. What is included and why.
What is this? This part includes the mode of life, the essence of happiness and the redefinition of happiness.
(Why) Why do you want to reshape the definition of happiness? Pursuing true happiness?
Articles 2 and 3 of the original book are merged.
Because it is mainly elaborated from the perspective of how to do it.
How to do it ~ the way to do it, how to act.
In other words, the core of this book is to make us understand that if we want to really get happiness, we must think about three deep-seated problems, namely
First, what is true happiness?
Second, why should we pursue inner happiness?
Third, how can we get inner happiness?
Through the previous layer-by-layer analysis, on my guide map, it is presented as three parts: WHAT WHY HOW?
Then add the key content of keywords step by step, and internalize it into the following learning essence map.
Interpretation ~
You see, the content is very clear. Four life styles, which one do you belong to?
I hope we can all become the fourth kind in the end.
As long as we get the essence of happiness, it is a process from happiness to happiness, and we can feel more happiness at any time.
But there is also a premise that we need to set and find a real goal for ourselves, which is a goal that takes into account dreams, health, enrichment and family balance, not just a single ultimate goal of money and wealth. There are also detailed steps in the book. Step by step, everyone can find what they really want.
Reflection ~
In real life, we often only regard wealth as a single goal, such as buying a car or a house. We will find that once a single goal is achieved, it can't achieve our real happiness, and it won't last long. And the goal is too big to reach, and it is often difficult to stick to it.
What happens if a single goal is not from the heart?
I also reflect on the education of my most concerned children. Why do many of our children now give up on themselves after entering the university, their grades plummet, they are completely decadent and have no self-discipline? In fact, it has the most direct relationship with this point. Because the goal is too single and not from the heart, once the goal is reached, all the motivation will disappear and happiness will collapse.
Interpretation ~
By combing the map, we can see that the reason why we want to learn how to get real happiness is because all kinds of problems exposed by individuals and society are sending us strong warning signals!
With the great enrichment of material life, the corresponding social violence, various dark sides, personal inner anxiety, neglect, children's growth problems, lack of family happiness and other problems are also increasing day by day.
These are the most urgent problems we need to solve now, and these are actually closely related to the fundamental reasons why we have not understood what real happiness is and how to get it.
Reflection ~
What kind of happiness do we really want?
I believe that China is richer than ever in the peaceful environment of the whole society, various national security, children's food, clothing, housing and transportation, and our own economic security. But are we really rich inside?
We want too much, but we practice too little. We continue our anxiety and pass it on to our children again!
We attach too much importance to children's learning, and deprive them of the opportunity to take care of themselves and participate in housework, which has caused many problems for children, such as arrogance, laziness, selfishness and procrastination.
In fact, if you really practice from the perspective of being a man, you will return to your original dream from the perspective of inner wealth. We will find a little sustainable happiness in the present, and we will discover and continue to develop our uniqueness. Even if we are not very rich in material conditions now, we still have the confidence to face the future.
Interpretation ~
How to get happiness?
The core is to be able to pay attention to the current feelings, learn from experience, and continue to work hard and try.
When setting goals, we should increase what we want to do and reduce what we have to do.
Increase the sense of mobility in learning and be more focused.
Increase the sense of mission in the work, as the boss of the company, invest enthusiasm to see how to do the work better and have a sense of accomplishment.
In life, we should understand each other more and manage each other's lives more attentively.
Reflection ~
In real life, we always set many goals. For example, the annual plan, full of goals, often can not be implemented by the end of the year, accumulated into the new year, become more anxious.
When setting goals, we often ignore what we really want to do. But arranged a lot of things that had to be done.
The way to increase happiness is actually very simple, that is, you need to increase the things you want to do in life and reduce the things you have to do.
Well, it may be difficult to implement in some units, but if you can't reduce what you want to do, you can also find ways to increase what you want to do, such as doing what you really love in your spare time.
For example, a fitness trip takes a day or two, which is very convenient now. Everyone can travel, right?
Or we can listen to music, read books, chat with friends and so on. We should really think about what we want to do and what we really want to do.
I share one of my habits here, that is, daily reflection, weekly reflection and monthly reflection.
When we give ourselves time to reflect and really feel what we want most, these can actually increase our inner happiness.
Dedicated input will increase more flow feelings, even if it is just a childhood dream, painting a picture, practicing writing and listening to songs. Instead of saying that when you are busy to death, you are just busy brushing your mobile phone when you have time.
From busy to at a loss, and then cycle! How can there be a feeling of endless happiness?
behaviour
Starting from the roots, it is necessary to have the heart of helping others and loving themselves. Then we should have a reflection, take action, practice, start from childhood habits, and really find what we want to do through constant reflection, which can help us break up decisively, simplify our lives and increase our happiness index.
This big tree is my self-summary after reading this book. You can have a good look.
Everyone can start a little action and reflection from the root of this big tree, and then act and reflect, which will help us bloom a happy flower.
In fact, the feeling of happiness is right now. We should learn to cherish the people and things in front of us!
The process of continuous accumulation, every moment of perception with your heart, really leads to a beautiful life, and a happy life is accumulated! You can't just look at the future, set and follow your inner goals, realize every achievable wish at the moment, and do every little thing that can be done well. This is happiness!