Perfectionists also find anything imperfect difficult or unwilling to accept, so they often set harsh goals. These goals are unrealistic to others, and perfectionists will feel useless once they fail to achieve them. This conclusion has gone far beyond self-blame and self-confidence, and is almost close to self-denial. There is no doubt that it will inevitably produce a series of health problems, such as anxiety, insomnia, and the resulting stomach pain and muscle aches.
Besides physical problems, perfectionists can also cause mental pain and breed despair, because they constantly put pressure on themselves. Worryingly, physical and mental factors play an important role in "inducing" suicide. A study by York University in Canada analyzed suicides in Alaska within three years. According to the family description, 56% of them can be classified as perfectionists.
What is a perfectionist? Maybe it is just a goal in itself, which can only be approached infinitely, but it can't be achieved. Moreover, perfectionists have no exact definition, and can only correspond to real-life examples through observation:
A healthy and perfect person
Symptoms: Sometimes, the concern for health goes beyond the bottom line, and all practices harmful to health are frightening. On the surface, he is a health expert and a nutrition expert, but in fact he is a poor victim and a real frightened bird; From neglecting health to always paying attention to health, browsing various health newspapers and paying attention to websites and WeChat messages all day; I often attend various lectures, consult countless experts, and buy back a bunch of nutrition and health products. ...
Hygienic perfector
Symptoms: Wash hands every day 10 times; Resolutely do not eat overnight dishes; Resist all antibiotics; Stay away from all hormones; I heard that I would be infected and never go near dogs and kittens again; The dishes bought back must be soaked; Don't eat seasonal and genetically modified foods. ...
Fitness perfecter
Even if you are on a business trip, you should make time to go to the hotel for fitness, because you can't violate the rules; I missed a fitness because I accidentally caught a cold, so I was worried about it. Because I drank some wine at dinner, I didn't finish the 40 weightlifting exercises scheduled today, so I must take a warning next time. Originally, the calendar said that I would lose 5 kilograms today, but I only lost 4 kilograms. I can't help but deeply blame myself. ...
A person with a perfect diet
Every time I order, I always tell myself to strictly control it, and the result is still too oily and salty; Every time I eat too much, I swear to make up for it through exercise, but I feel guilty and even doubt my self-control. I used to weigh myself every morning. Although weighing scale didn't show any increase, I clearly saw my stomach protruding again, which made me anxious and regretful. ...
Image perfecter
Always biased against your image, that is, your image will always be out of shape, either too fat or too thin; Although others say it is normal, they think it is just a compliment; Anorexia due to fear of not being slim enough; Excessive supplementation for fear of not being strong enough. ...
Sports perfectionist
Never lose to an opponent whose strength is not as good as his own; A mistake is enough to beat your chest; Superstition is inevitably related to reducing body fat and improving sports performance; Of course, exercise can improve people's self-confidence, and then more is to see the gap with their opponents, feel the difference of their physical quality, and even cause disappointment.
According to expert analysis, the pursuit of perfection has become a burden, probably because of inner tension and anxiety. Excessive persistence in health issues, in essence, is to ease inner tension through progress, but unfortunately it has led to paranoia, resulting in more sensitive emotions, tension, and inability to let go of everything.
Why do you want perfection? This is also a matter of opinion. Experts point out that, in fact, we care too much about our own health and other people's opinions. We always want to toss our bodies regularly, but at the same time we are inevitably fascinated by the standard figure. Therefore, once handled improperly, these obsessions immediately become torture to the body.
How to get out of this entanglement caused by physical and mental collision? The best choice is to pursue Excellence rather than perfection, and realize that perfection cannot be achieved. Not only that, but it is also possible to turn back. People need to learn how to accept mistakes, admit mistakes, and face failures, not as a basis for self-judgment, let alone adopt a harsh and unsympathetic way. This is especially true for men, because men will not show weakness in front of others and will not take the initiative to ask for help when needed. The so-called "in fact, men need to care more."
When perfectionism tends to be stubborn, it needs to be forcibly distracted. First, take a deep breath and force the rhythm to slow down; At the same time, taking more oxygen will widen the brain's field of vision (indeed). What you need at this time is distraction, not concentration, because concentration can easily lead to "drilling". Once you walk into a dead end, it's even harder to get out. Then we must set a limit for ourselves, a comprehensive personal evaluation based on our own situation, as the basis for setting goals. Perfectionists have one thing in common, that is, they are not afraid to deny their limited ability, but "optimistically" think that they still have potential to tap. Once it fails to meet the standard, it becomes pessimistic and abnormal. Experts suggest that perfectionists can go to the scene to watch a high-level ball game and listen to a real singing concert. Facing the performance with better talent and more outstanding ability, will there be a feeling of dying? No matter how hard they try, they can't surpass those geniuses! If so, that's right.