First, we should improve our cognitive level and correct our motivation. According to the research of psychologists at home and abroad, the most obvious psychological feature of many crimes (especially teenagers) is the lack of self-control. On the contrary, those people with lofty ideals in history have shown a high degree of self-restraint, are not afraid of danger, and regard death as their own. This shows that the level of cognition and motivation will affect one's self-control. So, how do cognition and motivation affect self-control? For example, this is the first time you have stepped onto the podium, given a report, and participated in a battle for the first time ... If you think, "If I make a mistake, how can others laugh at me?" .. "or:" What can I talk about if I get shot in the battlefield? .. "and so on, the underlying motivation is how to express themselves and how to get personal honor, which will produce negative emotions. On the contrary, if you think: I can't mislead others, I must have a good class; Or: I make a report, just to sum up everyone's experience and exchange it; Or: I am fighting for justice. The underlying motivation is noble, positive and philosophical, so that you will be less affected by negative emotions. Therefore, a correct understanding of oneself and the meaning of action is very important for cultivating self-control.
Second, the cultivation of self-control must be targeted. That is to say, we should train ourselves according to some weaknesses and some negative psychological activities in some actions. To cultivate self-control, we must first dissect ourselves and find out the problems we often make in those activities. However, it is necessary to choose appropriate training methods and correct them in practice through training. Here are some practical training methods:
1. If you often fail in an activity because of your own psychological reasons, you can choose the confrontation training method. That is, repeatedly being in (or imagining being in) situations that make you fail, exercising yourself and overcoming weaknesses, this kind of training includes two ways:
(1) Under certain circumstances. According to the Soviet psychologist K.H. Cole Nilov, "If you want to be resolute, you must get up the courage to hunt wild animals, cross the rapids and go to the mountains for training when you are dizzy"; Or, as the rich city Serivano said, we should "take the inoculation or stab wound calmly and take out the wooden thorn: in the dark night, in Yuan Ye or in the forest far away from the house, we are not afraid: ... bravely endure the pain when we are sick, burned or injured ... in the storm, in the forest or on the boat, we will not panic ... When we meet wolves or other wild animals, we will not be helpless; Save the drowning man with his own life, fearless; Don't panic when you encounter a fire. " This is an ancient but effective training method. If you are timid, go to places that scare you and take tests.
(2) Imagination in a specific environment (that is, simulated training). When you fail in an activity, you can reproduce the specific links in the past activities in your imagination, find out the reasons for the failure, and then imagine a new activity to start, correct past mistakes in your imagination, and eliminate all possible accidents and difficulties in order to achieve success and let the successful experience dominate you. Or when you are about to engage in another important activity, you can also simulate the whole process of this activity in your imagination and keep the successful experience. Through such training, you can get a whole set of activity patterns in your imagination, and you can enhance your confidence in winning.
2. Loss or weakening of self-control often occurs in a tense physical and psychological state. Therefore, self-control can be improved by relaxing training and learning to eliminate tension. Tension is accompanied by muscle tension, shortness of breath and rapid heartbeat. Relaxation training can consciously control these processes and obtain physiological feedback information, thus controlling and regulating a person's whole psychological state. Relaxation training mainly has the following ways:
① Breathing training. In anger, excitement and panic, people often don't realize their shortness of breath or even difficulty breathing, which makes them more nervous. For example, when some people are nervous, their voices tremble and their timbre is hoarse, because the smooth muscle spasm of the bronchial wall will make them more uneasy and even more out of control. Therefore, before engaging in activities that are expected to cause tension, do some breathing relaxation training to keep breathing at a calm and soothing rhythm. The methods are as follows: a. Stand or sit down, relax and take a deep breath; B. Take a deep breath while walking slowly; Wait a minute.
② Muscle relaxation training. Muscle relaxation training can eliminate fatigue, overcome tension and even treat some diseases. Regular or on-site relaxation training can help us learn self-control and become calm.
(3) Qigong enters silence. Get rid of all distractions and keep absolute peace of mind. The method is to focus all your attention on the Dantian point (three inches below the navel). This kind of on-the-spot training, or training after nervousness, has obvious effects.
In addition, a person's thoughts (thoughts, beliefs, self-monitoring, conscious words, etc. ) can control and adjust a person's psychological state. Self-control is largely manifested in ideological control. The function of mind control is to promote a person's positive action. There are two ways to train in this respect.
1 self-suggestion. The role of positive self-suggestion is to gain self-confidence and improve self-control. However, negative self-suggestion is just the opposite. Self-suggestion is best done in a state of sleep rather than sleep. Before you engage in intense activities, let yourself enter a quiet, comfortable and sleepy state of relaxation, and then repeat some words that build confidence and give people strength. It won't be useless.
② Self-motivation. Whatever you do, you should be conscious. Self-awareness often refers to the motivation to gain a positive action. How can we get a motivation for positive action? Try to learn self-motivation. Self-motivation means giving yourself tasks, giving yourself rewards, giving yourself rewards and punishments, commanding yourself and being your own commander. There are several ways of self-motivation: a, make a practical plan, arrange the things that must be done well and the things that can not be done, and then reward and punish yourself. B, write a motto and always encourage yourself. C, often keep a diary, and conduct self-monitoring in the diary. D, verbal orders. Learn to guide yourself whenever you are in trouble or danger. Through verbal commands, you can organize your own psychological activities and gain spiritual strength. Might as well train, it will be good.
How to improve one's self-control
Self-control means that a person is good at controlling his emotions and restraining his words and deeds in his will.
Self-control is mainly manifested in two aspects: on the one hand, make yourself strive to overcome fear, hesitation and laziness that are not conducive to yourself in practical work and study; On the one hand, we should be good at restraining impulsive behavior in practical actions.
Self-control plays an important role in people's success. From Aristotle, an ancient encyclopedic scientist, to modern philosophers, it has been noted that "a good life is based on self-control."
How to enhance self-control?
I think we should do some "tempering rules" while strengthening the legal system and morality.
The "tempering rule" is very important for cultivating the qualities of self-denial and self-control. For example, when Edmund Hillary, the first New Zealander who successfully conquered Mount Everest, was asked how he conquered the highest mountain in the world, Hillary replied, "What I really conquered was not a mountain, but myself." This excellent quality is called willpower, self-control or self-discipline. In fact, you can start from doing something you don't like or think you can't do every day, and cultivate your stronger willpower and self-control under the action of "tempering method"
You also know that only through practice can you really gain self-control. Only by relying on inertia and repeated self-control training can we completely control our nerves. Judging from the repeated efforts and training of the will, the cultivation of self-control is largely the formation of a habit. "
And the most effective, convenient and practical advice I can give you is to jog 5 kilometers every morning. Whether the weather is cold or hot, windy or rainy, we must persist. Every minute in bed in the morning is so precious, especially in winter, when you lie under the covers and get up after a fierce ideological struggle. Moreover, long-distance running is hard and boring, and it will also make people backache. It's really a real chore, so you can be honed in this process, starting from scratch, from fresh to annoying to painful. You can think about a sentence by Mark Twain. Explain how to achieve self-restraint: "The key is to do something you don't want to do every day, so that you won't feel pain for those obligations that really need you to complete." This is the golden rule of forming conscious habits. " As long as you persist, with the gradual improvement of your physical condition, running becomes easier and the drudgery of running seems less terrible. Although getting up early is still a bit laborious, it seems to be overcome. Everything becomes easier and more natural, and finally becomes a habit and a part of daily behavior. Don't force yourself, running every morning becomes a natural habit. In this way, your self-discipline, determination, will, commitment, efficiency, self-confidence and self-esteem will be exercised and improved through daily running.
You can choose to run long distances every morning to help you develop a high degree of self-control. You can also choose various sports activities. No matter what you choose, it is first and foremost a chore that you must force yourself to complete. Secondly, this chore must be done every day. Finally, of course, this chore should also be beneficial (for example, physical exercise can help health, improve physical function, enhance self-confidence and improve cognitive ability, etc.). You can choose all kinds of hard work, such as running, bodybuilding, swimming, cycling, walking, aerobics, yoga, martial arts and so on. There are countless ways of physical exercise, but it doesn't mean that your efforts are limited to physical exercise. Practice a musical instrument, insist on reading or writing, and write letters or emails to friends. What kind of drudgery you choose is not important in itself, but persistence is the key to the problem. Insist on doing something you didn't like very much every day, and eventually you will gain self-discipline, perseverance, keep your promise and enhance your self-control.