I also pursue perfection, sometimes it is similar to what you describe. However, I want to be calm, calm, believe in myself and form good habits. I think it will be easier to control when things happen.

As for getting angry at small things, I think you should be bigger, don't focus on small things, set yourself a big goal and work hard for it, then you won't have leisure to think about those small things. Sensitive to happy things, insensitive to unhappy things.

Be kind and honest to the people around you. They will help you when you need help most.

Keep running every day, and you will learn a lot from it.