When money, suspicion and wariness are mentioned between adults, their relationship is no longer close. The trust you give may be exchanged for both manpower and financial resources; You may embarrass others by opening your mouth to them.
Therefore, in a relationship, try not to have money, which is the most decent way for adults to maintain a relationship.
There is a saying in the writer Han Han's Life of Flying: "The collapse of adults begins with borrowing money." That's true.
Two days ago, a friend I haven't contacted for a long time asked me to borrow money. The first time it was opened, it was 30 thousand, saying it was used for capital turnover. I don't know what it is, after all, it's been a long time.
Out of politeness, while expressing my understanding, I replied that I couldn't help him, and patiently talked about my present situation. I haven't paid my salary for half a year, and even gave him a screenshot of my chat with the financial accountant to urge him to pay. I hope he can understand my situation.
Surprisingly, people replied, "Don't you have a credit card? Why, have they all been cancelled? "
I told him that I had stopped using credit cards.
He asked again: "You can't bear to use it. My business turnover is an important matter. You can brush me 30 thousand, but if you can't, your flowers and loans will do. "
I decisively refused: "Sorry, I can't lend it to you."
I didn't lend you money, not perfunctory, not deliberately pretending to be poor, but beyond my ability.
Let me explain to you that I don't want to hurt you or embarrass you. I want everyone to be decent and you don't want to embarrass me.
Over the past year, several people around me have asked me for money. I'm confused. Why are you looking for me again and again? I finally realized that I was indecisive and didn't know how to refuse decisively. By this, I don't know the roots of others; Don't borrow it We still have a little friendship. I have also met some people who borrowed money hard, and in the end they were all embarrassed, so they had to eat their own dumb losses.
Finally, even if I politely refused, I buried the hope of finding me for the second time.
Therefore, in the matter of borrowing money, we must think clearly, or lend it out and bear all the consequences; Either refuse decisively and don't care about the other party's opinion. I borrow money for mutual affection, and it is my duty not to borrow it. No one will judge you. You were born a man, so don't be sorry.
Sometimes, my friends and colleagues and I will spit out the wonderful story of borrowing money together:
"A classmate borrowed 2000 yuan from me to take a wedding photo."
"My high school classmate bought an Apple mobile phone and asked me to borrow 2000 yuan."
"A friend has no living expenses and asked me to borrow 500 yuan."
"A colleague's credit card repayment date arrived and asked me to borrow 6000 yuan."
……
I'm surprised. I never tell my friends similar reasons, so I can't understand them.
My friend Xiao Ning suffered such a loss.
Colleague Xiao Xin asked her to borrow money on the grounds that she wanted to pay back her credit card. Although she is hesitant to borrow it, on second thought, after all, she has been together for several years and has a good relationship. She still trusts this girl. Just lent her 6000 yuan, and Xiao Xin promised to pay it back to her one month later.
However, a month later, Xiao Xin suddenly resigned, but Xiao Ning was dumbfounded. She started to get a little worried. Can she get the money she borrowed back Send someone a WeChat and make a phone call. At first, the other party responded politely: "Don't worry, I will definitely pay you back."
Later, the phone did not answer, and WeChat did not return. She called Xiao Xin's family directly, and their parents replied: "Whoever borrowed it, who you are looking for, has nothing to do with us."
That's right: when borrowing money, you are the master; When you want money, you are a grandson. Kindness is given to the wrong person and the whole family bullies you.
Later, I learned that Xiao Xin borrowed money from many people in order to buy clothes and bags, eat, drink and be merry. Finally, after repeated efforts, Xiao Ning finally got the money back, and mutual affection was naturally exhausted.
In the second season of the Round Table School, Ma Yili bluntly said, "We Shanghainese have a saying, if you are in emergency, don't save the poor. My best friend and I never talk about money. You see, when a person buys something, he just does what he can. If you have ten dollars, you can buy things with eight dollars, and you will never borrow money from others just to buy things. "
She also suggested: "if a friend forgets to bring his wallet when he goes out today, he can save the day;" If someone in the family is sick and hospitalized, it is impossible to save the poor. "
It is not easy for everyone. Maybe people lend you money to go to the gym, but you regard others' trust as an ATM and rely on others' money to satisfy your vanity. This is a bit unkind.
Isn't it a bit cheat people to borrow money from others to show your determination, knowing that you can't repay it?
When you meet such a person, you can't lend it out in a muddle.
My friend Xiaoqing just joined a new company, and soon she joined the group. She has made two very good friends, and every day when she goes to eat together at noon, she will help them settle their bills.
After a long time, Xiaoqing found that her colleagues just took it for granted, but never invited her to eat a meal, even a bowl of oil noodles.
Xiaoqing asked me if I was too narrow-minded.
I said, "If they really take advantage of petty gain, you should stay away."
She still believes that sincerity will be exchanged for each other's honesty.
Xiaoqing became more and more puzzled later. Have dinner together, say good AA system, the buyer is her, and no one will mention it in the end; Shopping together to buy cosmetics, saying that she was asked to pay in advance, and finally no one mentioned the money.
Xiaoqing is very entangled.
If you want, we are all a company, and it seems that you are too stingy to look up and see you. If you don't want it, it will be three or five hundred, but it is also your hard-earned money.
Later, she jokingly mentioned it once, and the other party should say, "Ah! You have a good memory and a clear calculation. I didn't have enough money at that time, otherwise I would invite everyone. "
The money was given, but she became a haggler in everyone's eyes.
In a variety show "Please Relax, Dear", Yang Mi was asked by Zhang greatly about borrowing money, and she said she wouldn't borrow it.
She said: "Borrowing money is a very realistic problem. If friends around me say, can you lend me 20 thousand yuan, I will lend it to you today. You also think that you are a big star now, so you won't ask me to come back. "
Instead of facing this thankless embarrassing situation, it is better to refuse decisively from the beginning.
My friend Xiao Dan does a good job in borrowing money.
At that time, she borrowed money from me in order to enroll in a self-taught undergraduate training class, saying that it might not be available in the near future. So whether to borrow or not, depending on my own situation, will never embarrass me.
I lent her 4000 yuan without hesitation. Because of trust, I said I was in no hurry.
At the end of each month, she will call or send a message to ask me if I need money, and if so, she will try to transfer it to me the next day. I can see that she is very careful for fear of causing me any trouble. This tiny detail makes me very moved, relieved and practical. Later, as soon as she had money, she returned it to me as soon as possible.
The money I borrowed earned your heart. I can't let your unconditional trust down. This is the most responsible attitude for adults to talk about money.
Some money, within my ability, will definitely lend you;
I'm sorry, I can't lend you some money.
I hope you can meet me and talk about the triviality of life and the confusion of growing up.
On the contrary, I am full of excitement to see you. You said, "Long time no see. Actually, I want to borrow some money from you."