2. After taking pictures, don't retouch the pictures endlessly. Otherwise, everyone knows that you are ugly in reality.
3. The boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by the restaurant. The girlfriend exclaimed, "It smells good!" The boy with a hard bag on his back said very gentlemanly, "If you like, we'll walk to the front of the restaurant again."
Look at your five senses, each with its own characteristics, and no one will obey anyone.
I don't have any outstanding advantages, but I have a special eye for girls. The girls I chased all married good people in the end without exception.
6. One of my colleagues is allergic to mutton. His face was swollen when he ate mutton, so everyone took him with him every time he ate mutton kebabs. The more swollen his face is, the more authentic his mutton is.
7. Some people say that we are fat and lazy. I don't believe it. We are just lazy when we lose weight. Which one of you can be more diligent than us at dinner?
8. "What does it feel like to be short?" "Everyone can't lift their heads when they see me!"
9. I worked late last night and was a little upset. Later, I quarreled with a female colleague because of a little thing, and even abused each other! The next morning, I was having a hot breakfast with my wife, and my female colleague tinkled and sent three words: We are all adults, so let's forget about last night! Pretending nothing happened ... it's cruel, and now my daughter-in-law still ignores me?
10. You have to work very hard to believe that you are really powerless. Come on! You are the worst.
1 1. It becomes a dog when it is hot in summer, and it becomes a dog when it is cold in winter. When I look in the mirror, I become an ugly dog. I'm not in love with single dog. I spit a cigarette: I really want to experience the feeling of being a man.
12. After an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl, his friend said, "What a pity for the girl. You can be her grandfather. " The old man was very dissatisfied: "I am more wronged. Her grandfather is two years younger than me, but I have to pretend to be a grandson! " "
13. Time is a butcher's knife. Tell it to beautiful people. For ugly people, time can't do anything about them.
14. I really wanted to sell my house and travel around the world, but the landlord refused.
15. My daughter-in-law finally made up her mind to tell me: chop hands in Taobao. I nodded approvingly. After a while, I saw her visiting Taobao again. I said, daughter-in-law, what about you? Daughter-in-law calmly said: I'll go to Taobao to see the prosthetic.
16. Only lazy people complain that they can't get up every morning. Those who are miserable and really motivated will call for leave immediately.
17. As the saying goes, people are iron, rice is steel, and beds are magnets.
18. When I was a child, my family was poor. I remember when I was in the third grade, my deskmate was a female man, which was very bad! Once, she ate bubble gum and it stuck to my head. At that time, I was very angry and got into a fight with her ... After the fight, another man ran to a place where no one was there, grinning, dug bubble gum off his head, and chewed it into his mouth while crying and laughing. ...
19. Open your wallet when you are lonely and balance it instantly. At least I have a wallet, and there is nothing in it!
20. You must believe that there must be someone in this world who doesn't mind all your shortcomings, such as freckles and acne, flat chest and fat legs, rudeness and laziness. This man is your rival in love.
2 1. My grades were poor, and my teachers and classmates laughed at me, saying that I would definitely not be admitted to the university and would have to move bricks in the future. Not convinced, I secretly made up my mind to get up early and be greedy for the dark, study hard and make rapid progress in my grades. Finally, I was admitted to the university. I study civil engineering and move bricks after graduation. I just want to prove to them that moving bricks is destiny takes a hand's, and it has nothing to do with whether to take the college entrance examination or not!
22. My friend cried to me that she was often lovelorn because she was too poor. I immediately despaired of this society: poor, why can he have a girlfriend?
23. Others are in their twenties: face-lifting needles, eyes open, nose pads, fat filling, and risorius. I am in my twenties: this is delicious, that is delicious, hahaha, boss, one more!
24. There are two things that others can't take away, one is the food you eat in your stomach, and the other is the dream you hide in your heart. Therefore, as a dreamy foodie, you are invincible!