1.

I always feel that true friends don't have to keep in touch often and talk occasionally, but they never seem to be apart.

Just like Fang Xiaoyue, my best friend in college, since I graduated from college, I have applied for a flight attendant, flying backwards day and night, and some people come to my house for dinner, but I don't keep in touch often. When you make a phone call, you basically omit honorifics such as "hello, goodbye" and don't talk nonsense. They don't have flying stars, they don't talk obliquely, and even their boyfriends don't buy sets when they go out in the middle of the night.

But tonight's Fang Xiaoyue is very strange on the phone. One minute she said that Xiao S and Huang Zijiao Century had made up, and the next minute she said that there was a new dog upstairs, which was very noisy. A new neighbor moved in next door, and seven aunts and eight aunts chatted intermittently for half an hour.

I took off the mask on my face, sat up and asked, "Tell me, Fang Xiaoyue, how much do you want? What bank? Send me the card number. "

The other end of the phone suddenly became anxious: "Zhang Meili, you are a mental derangement. If I had borrowed money from you, I would have said so! "

I quickly asked: "Then tell me, what is it?"

Fang Xiaoyue prevaricated for a long time. I wiped my hands with a paper towel and held the phone in my chin. "I'll hang up if you don't talk. I just finished applying the mask. I'm going to wash my hands."

"Don't hang up, Tao Ran is getting married." Fang Xiaoyue blurted out immediately.

"................. oh, get married. "Although I was shocked, I quickly reacted.

"My new neighbors are Tao Ran and the fox. I said how to get married. I turned out to be pregnant. I think she is very skillful. You have no idea how proud she is today. She took advantage of her new move and asked me to take out the garbage. It's irritating and beautiful to see her swaggering as usual. Are you listening? Lili ... "Fang Xiaoyue finally returned to normal, which also brought me back to reality from the prelude of memories.

"In this matter, I thought it was a big deal. It is inconvenient for pregnant women to take out the garbage. As for you, you are angry about it. Hang up! I am going to wash my hands! " After I put down the phone, I saw Tao Ran's figure, his deep eyes, the marks left by his teeth biting his lips when he was angry, and his half arm that kept me from getting wet in rainy days. If it weren't for that phone call, I might have forgotten to turn off the tap. I don't know how long I have been washing my hands.

2.

As abortion said, Tao Ran was my first boyfriend.

Later, when I think of this teenager, I can hardly remember his face, and even forget whether the scar on his forehead is on the left or the right.

But I remember that he once gave me pure happiness and cruelty. Those ecstasies are like the Polaris in the summer breeze and bright moon, shining in all the scenery where things are different; However, those cruel things that are so natural and unknown to each other have pierced my memory for so many years and stung me.

When I first met Tao Ran, he was wearing a big white T-shirt, light blue jeans and white sneakers. His way of speaking was embarrassing. At first, I joined a club and he ran for monitor. I play with speeches and he plays with debates. At that time, we probably didn't think that one day we would witness each other's most youthful time, which would involve each other's whole youth.

Even after many years, I still feel funny when I recall it. In order to bet my roommate 20 yuan to chase me, he labeled me as "Tao Ran's daughter-in-law" in class at all costs. After really getting to know each other, I found for the first time that there is another self in this world, who has the same thoughts and preferences, confides in each other, and meets each other for a long time.

The ignorance of youth and the undercurrent of the heart have quietly changed each other's life trajectories.

Now I forget how we got together. I only remember that at that time, falling in love in college was a very serious matter. We can't help falling into the routine. We have classes together, eat in the canteen together, study in the classroom together, eat all the food stalls and stir-fry near the school together, stand in front of the class teacher together, be angry together, forgive together and encourage together. He brought me water in a bucket and I brought him food in a lunch box. He gave me my favorite math homework, and I also gave him a cheat sheet during the English exam. When it goes bad, I will also buy an ice cream when it hurts, and when I am in my face, I will deliberately make a harsh chewing sound and sigh; In this way, we became the "shadow" of the other side that Abortion envied in their eyes.

When we were young, we were so young and simple, so clumsy and ignorant. There is no experience at all, only sincere transmission without reservation. It seems that everyone has to use all their strength to entangle in the first formal feelings in life.

3.

This is how the university proudly boasted about its shallowness until we graduated. After graduation, we rented a small house with one room and one living room. The rent of 500 yuan a month is not expensive, but there is only a bed of one meter and two meters, and there is no other furniture. We must arrange everything ourselves.

Although those days were simple and poor, they were also happy. When I first found a job, Tao Ran said that I wanted to think it over before deciding whether to work or start a business. In fact, no matter what he does, I will support him and even naively imagine that I can make more money. Even if you can't leave it to him to start a business, at least you can satisfy your own food and clothing, which is enough.

When I first started working, Tao Ran always came to the bus stop to pick me up from work. It often rains cats and dogs in summer nights. Tao Ran looked under the station with an umbrella. As soon as he saw my shadow, he leaned forward and leaned his umbrella on my side. I moved obstinately, and he moved domineering, pushing Lala or revealing half a wet shoulder. In the dim light, they helped each other to the rental house.

At that time, our eyes were so clear that only the reflection of the other side flashed in our eyes.

Winter in a small house is particularly cold. The demon wind outside the window often cries wolf, and I still can't help shivering under the quilt. One day I was woken up in the middle of the night, and I vaguely felt that the quilt was moving. I found out with my eyes half open that Tao Ran was holding down the corner of my quilt and covering my coat for fear that I would freeze. I closed my eyes and dared not make any noise. After he fell asleep, I secretly shed a few tears on the pillow and went to work the next day, pretending not to know anything.

In fact, it is very difficult to turn over in a narrow space when sleeping at night. I always want to make more room for Tao Ran. I often squeeze into the edge of the bed and almost fall off it. He always squeezes in, trying to make more room for me. 1.2m bed has a lot of space in the middle, and then he falls asleep and snores evenly. When I woke up the next morning, I shouted back pain, but all we saw was happiness.

Small rental houses are not only cold in winter but also hot in summer. When the power goes out, many hungry mosquitoes will jump in. We often pat mosquitoes on each other's bodies, and when we are on the phone, we can't help making fun of countless mosquito bags on each other.

Like many girls, I dare not get up and go to the toilet alone after watching horror movies. I always shake Tao Ran awake, and then wait for him to open his sleepy eyes and accompany me to the toilet. Then continue to lie in bed and fall asleep until dawn.

Gradually, I learned to cook. Sometimes, Xiaoyue will come over for dinner. Every time I look at them, I feel very down-to-earth. I think that if I can have enough food and clothing, be with my beloved, and have a friend like abortion, even if it is a gift from heaven, it is already very satisfying.

After having enough food and clothing, people will feel that the word happiness has little to do with money, or even nothing at all.

Tao Ran doesn't think so. He is bent on starting a business and making money. I still remember him telling me categorically, "Lili, put aside other money and I will marry you when I have the money for marriage!" " "I believe in it and look forward to it. At that time, Tao Ran probably didn't know that even without money, I was bent on spending the rest of my life with him.

In the next few days, Tao Ran began to work, constantly changing jobs and changing high-paying jobs, and rarely had time to eat at home. No matter how late he works overtime, I will wait for him to come back. He travels a lot and never forgets to bring me a small gift, sometimes a book, sometimes a key chain. It's just that our conversations are getting less and less, and we are so tired that we are displaced that we can't even speak. Maybe we are too familiar with each other, so there is no need to talk a lot.

During that time, Fang Xiaoyue always complained that my world was too simple and small, so small that it was almost completely occupied by love. They are flight attendants who talk about new clothes all day, but my world is only Tao Ran. Fang Xiaoyue also complained that Tao Ran is a careless person. He is selfish in his work and always pays no attention to details. But I know in my heart that he is not.

Before eating peanuts, he always peeled off the shells of peanuts, pinched the red skin on the peanuts in his hand and handed the peanuts to my hand. Every time I eat fish, he picks out all the thorns and puts them in my bowl. Every time he feels sick, he always boils hot water and then pours it from one cup to another until the water is half cold. He tried the water temperature himself before handing it to me. How can you say that he is a lout when you look at him so carefully?

This is the woman. I know everything is wrong, but I always make excuses for each other.

It was such a careful person in my mouth that I broke up later.

Yes, we were once good enough to be alone, so we can break up. Say it is a ghost. But even the story of breaking up is so old-fashioned.

No one is a wise man who can predict the future. Time always changes everything quietly before we find out.

We had a big fight when we found out that our female colleague Zhang Xue was having an affair with him. Tao Ran made sure that she didn't do anything wrong to me and finally changed her job. Until one weekend, Zhang Xue found the place where we lived. I could hardly speak, and I couldn't even hear clearly how Abortion kicked her out.

When Tao Ran came back, she asked me directly what happened to Zhang Xue and why she kept crying on the phone. It all happened so fast. I hysterically asked him to choose between Zhang Xue and me, and at the same time cried and begged him not to leave, and bowed his head again and again. Tao Ran's cell phone rang again, and Zhang Xue cried. The sudden noise made the rented house as cold as Tao Ran. I hardly know the man who has been in love for years. He rushed to the door before hanging up.

Wear slippers to the Tianba where we have been. Tianba is the highest rooftop in this city, and many young couples will come here to fall in love. Standing in front of the window, the high-altitude sunshine blooms in deep and shallow clouds, and a mass of Bai Niao hovers over the low roof and shade. This music reminds me that Tao Ran used to stand in the same position and said that he would always be with me, just like in his last life.

Dry your tears, if you jump from here, then all the beauty should stop at this moment.

The root of human suffering is probably the hope that everything we have experienced will last forever.

Click to listen: love is like yesterday.

Did you hide anyone at any time?

Go hand in hand to tomorrow

No one will change

Say to the sky that you must love far away.

Who has forgotten his bravery now?

Loved people and injured people.

What about the person who is crying and hating?

How much rain and tears along the way made me remember?

Sometimes the world is just halfway through.

Some pride fades with time.

Someone was standing in the wilderness, shouting alone.

Some sadness doesn't know when it will dissipate.

Someone stopped in their hearts.

Someone stood there waiting for everything to reappear.

It was my love that deceived me.

Just like yesterday, just like yesterday.

It was already late at night when I got home. Tao Ran is not at home. I didn't know until I read the text message. Zhang Xue cut his wrist and committed suicide. Tao Ran took her to the hospital. This woman, who only met once and even committed suicide than me, eventually became the winner that Tao Ran and I sincerely delivered for many years.

I texted Tao Ran that it was over. Tao Ran replied, OK.

I regard love as my whole world, but now the world has changed.

Collapsed on the floor, my heart was washed again, like a piece of paper left in my trouser pocket when washing clothes. When I took it out, it had broken into many pieces. No matter how I put it together, I can't put it back. No matter how I stick it, there are traces.

"At the age of nothing, wandering society, being bullied and cheated, and being entangled in trivial matters, they really fell in love, lived together and made promises for each other. But the cruelest thing about love is that nothing can absolutely keep it fresh, sincere, kind and bitter. You don't know when it slipped away or why. " At the moment, this passage of my friend Chen Bailu is most suitable for describing the beginning and end of my love with Tao Ran.

4.

Tao Ran didn't come back that night, and the next day I resigned and moved, cutting off all ties with the past. Since then, he has never appeared on my friends list. Only when I click on QQ search will he jump out of my friend recommendation.

When I first separated from him, I pressed the pause button of my life, leaving only a soulless body. During that time, I slept until I woke up naturally every day, chasing movies in my pajamas, brushing Weibo, reading the web, and my hair was messy. My life is boring, but not bad. Until one day, a headhunter named Anna called me dozens of times, and she asked me to go for an interview in a hoarse voice. Finally I said, okay, I'll come over.

I really don't know what will happen tomorrow.

But I clearly remember that I signed the contract on Anna's desk covered with paper and stapler. From then on, I tried to keep myself busy, working overtime, studying, training, and occasionally getting tired, but slowly, life gradually got its own track.

Until one day, the boss asked me to do a big meeting. It took a whole month to plan, investigate, analyze and code the scheme. I remember that hundreds of people came that day, and the expert's plane was delayed and something happened. There was no lecturer, and everyone was rubbing their hands and beating their chests backstage. If the meeting fails, it means that the efforts of the whole team are in vain and ruined. God knows where I ate the leopard gall, so I quickly finished reading the courseware in my hand and walked onto the stage. When I stepped down, everyone stood up and applauded, patted me on the shoulder and praised me for speaking well.

I think it was at that time that I suddenly felt that I had found myself.

I cried when I got back. I thought it was pretty good. I found that brave and independent girl bit by bit.

The next two years, for me, are the fastest growing years since I was born.

Know yourself, accept yourself, improve yourself, learn to love yourself, try your best to love life and work hard; Meet new people, forget old people, go to fitness, travel, and get in touch with the vast world. I feel that life has never been so full and regular.

When I am happy, I often chat with my friends on Weibo WeChat. Occasionally, I will have a meeting in Weibo, and it will always be just the heart of the people. This kind of chicken soup post looks lively. But I know very well that all this has finally passed quietly, and I think it's good. Those sad things, those painful things, are all over.

Later, I met my boyfriend Zhong Ziqi, and then I realized that Taoran was really a thing of the past, and I had a new definition of love. He is kind, independent and willing to take responsibility. We love life together. Although they have different preferences, they have gained more maturity and responsibility after the experience, respected each other's past and expectations for the future, and began to have new stories.

Everything is so brief encounter, but it is just the right time.

After breaking up, I met Tao Ran in front of Fang Xiaoyue's house. Everyone smiled at each other. The experience of life has taught each other to let go and be tolerant. Looking back now, I feel that I was too young, inexperienced and loved too hard. If you walk again, even if it is not fragmented, I am afraid that the trajectory will not change much. A person who holds love tightly in his hand as the whole world can't make more room.

I hope all the people in brave enough to love will never get lost.

Thanks for the love and hate that accompanied me for many years, which made me a braver self now.

Maybe not perfect, but she will always be me.

In a long time, may we strive to evolve into better people.

Happy wedding! My youth! !