Chapter one: Barak's happy psychological practice.
Chapter two: Eight psychological hints to bid farewell to bad mood.
Chapter 3: What should I do if my brain is often entangled?
Material life is getting richer and richer, but there are also many people who haven't felt warm and laughed happily for a long time. What should I do if I am in a bad mood? In fact, happiness is an attitude towards life. Let's take a look at Barack's happy psychological exercise.
Barak's Happy Psychological Exercise
BorrielBarak, a professor of sports psychology at Harvard University who is engaged in happiness research, believes that happiness does not depend on beautiful appearance and brilliant career, but a long-term and profound psychological satisfaction. This satisfaction depends on human genes. Some people are naturally optimistic, while others are unhappy. Professor Barak also believes that a person's personality can be completely changed by following certain rules and forming good habits. His research shows that cheerful and happy people have the same characteristics: they know themselves well, do things easily and have a sense of responsibility in life. His "Happy Barak" aerobics can cultivate these personality traits and help you to be happy; When doing this mental exercise, you need to be patient, step by step, and don't be arrogant. You will soon find amazing results.
Part 1: define target
Warm-up: Barak said, "If you want to be happy from now on, you must have a clear goal and the determination to achieve it." For example, when you want to lose weight, you should first think that health is very important. At this time, the fragrant fried chicken pieces are not delicious food for you, but are considered as butter that blocks blood vessels. If you want to be happy, you also need to change this attitude, make clear its importance, make up your mind and try to make yourself happy. Tell yourself at the beginning of the day that no matter what happens, you should keep a happy mood. There will always be unpleasant moments in life. It depends on how we treat them.
Practice: Get up early in the morning and feel happy. Get up early 10 minutes to give you plenty of time. You can have a cup of coffee at home and then walk around. By the way, happiness is more important than anything.
Consolidation: Do this every morning and get into the habit.
Section 2: Cherish the present.
Warm-up: "Sometimes, we are worried, not because there is any trouble in front of us, but because we are always worried about the future." Barak said, "The bedroom in my apartment faces the sun and is close to the boulevard. It took me two years and an agency fee of more than 1200 dollars to rent it. Living here is my greatest happiness; But one day the landlady told me that she would use this house to open a hotel. I heard it at that time and felt that the sky was falling. Where can I find such a satisfactory house? "
The problem came a little suddenly, but it was nothing after all. At this moment, am I sitting at my desk leisurely, sipping tea and enjoying the sunshine coming in from the window? Of course, things like car accidents are hard to be so calm, but after all, there are not many real emergencies, so there is no need to worry.
Practice: Go out for a walk, see passers-by, bathe in the warm sunshine, breathe the fragrance of grass, listen to the children's hearty laughter, don't think about what to eat for dinner, just look at the present and enjoy every minute.
Consolidation: Stick to 15 minutes every day, just pay attention to this moment and enjoy it. This kind of training can be done while washing dishes or on the way to work.
Section 3. release pressure
Warm-up: "Not all negative emotions can make people sad." Barak believes that "in fact, cheerful and happy people are more likely to express their real misfortune." You can't get along with yourself if you often worry about trifles in life. "Barak pointed out: When people are idle, their temper tends to get grumpy, and it is easy for you to think of those troubles. Barak suggested that keeping yourself busy and distracting negative emotions will alleviate your worries. If not, try the following training.
Exercise: I didn't understand before, how could those comedians perform in trouble? It turns out that actors usually have some special psychological training, such as this psychological training method created by new york performance coach elizabeth browning:
1. Write down your troubles or draw them roughly.
Put these troubles in a box, throw them out of the window, shout them out happily, and maybe they will disappear.
This method sounds ridiculous, but it is still quite effective. At least it can help you find the cause of the trouble. Besides, body and mind interact. Doing some exercise can completely relieve stress.
Consolidation: hold an "emotional garbage cleaning" once a week to clear the backlog of boring emotions.
Section 4: Interest First
Warm-up: Barak pointed out: "People are happiest when they are addicted to what they are interested in and forget everything about me." You may be fascinated by painting, dancing or mountain climbing. As long as you are interested in one thing, if you devote yourself wholeheartedly, you will feel great happiness.
Exercise: Tonight, put aside your usual pastimes and write down what you have long wanted to do. For things that can only be done through preparation, we should set a good time and make detailed arrangements; It's time to spend the whole evening on activities that can be carried out immediately!
Consolidation: spend an hour every night or one night or half a rest day every week doing what you like best.
Section 5: Caring for others
Warm-up: "We look for happiness and always place our hopes on others. In fact, when we care about others and give them happiness, happiness is in our hands. " Barak said, "When I first moved into Harvard University City, my work was monotonous, my weekends were extremely boring, I had no friends and I was very lonely. I long for friendship, for the care and comfort of my friends, but I never want to give anything to others. In fact, happy people know how to give care, sympathy and encouragement when others need help most, and they will be happy themselves. "
Exercise: Do 20 good deeds for others today. Things can be big or small. Say thank you to the driver or go shopping with him. Learn to think of others at work, and you will benefit yourself. When writing is not fluent, I ask myself from another angle: "What should I tell the reader?" My mind broadened at once.
Consolidation: Find 5 ways to care for others every day. Spend one day a month doing something for others.
Section 6: Stop complaining
Warm-up: Happy people always leave room for things, take responsibility when things happen and never complain. Barak pointed out that complaining may make you happy 10 seconds, but because you are in it, complaining will make things get out of hand.
Practice: don't complain today, don't nag colleagues, and don't worry about roommates being unsanitary. You have to think about how to solve it. For example, your mother is always critical of your cooking. You can ask her out to dinner, ask her for advice, ignore her words, or simply let her cook. The key is how to handle it better.
Consolidation: Challenge yourself, one day a week, without saying a word of complaint.
Section 7: contentment is always a pleasure.
Warm-up: "Let's do an experiment," says Barack. "Look at the blue objects around you first, such as books and vases, and remember their positions. Then close your eyes and tell the location of the red objects around you. I'm afraid you can't say any of them. This shows that there are many such' blind spots' in our lives. We only see the shortcomings of things, but ignore their beautiful side. "
Practice: change your mind and be content. Before dinner every day, think of something you should be satisfied with, no matter how big or small. Do more training like this, and you will always be grateful and always think positively.
Consolidation: Before dinner every day, count five things to thank God. "These trainings seem a bit cumbersome, and sometimes I can't stick to it." Barak said, "But after the excitement, calm down and I will continue this' happy' exercise. I feel that I am happier every day, which is worthy of persistence. "
Eight psychological hints to bid farewell to bad mood
Many times, we can't change other people's opinions, only ourselves. Life is not good, not because of other people's sins, but because we are in a bad mood. The golden key to a better life is not in the hands of others. Give up our resentment and sigh, and a better life will be within reach.
The first psychological advice: be careful not to live too tired.
People often sigh that living is really tiring. Tired, it is mental stress; Being tired is a heavy psychological burden. Tired is always relative to not tired. You must learn to relax if you want to be tired. Life is about relaxation. Mental fatigue makes people fall into sub-health state for a long time; A tired heart will make you depressed.
The second psychological suggestion: your heartache can only be cured by yourself.
Why do you want to lose your present mood for bitter regret? It is also necessary to vent your complaints occasionally, but endless complaints will only add to your own difficulties and show others your incompetence. Complaining is a fatal negative attitude. Once complaining becomes a bad habit, a person's life will be dark, not only his own good mood is gone, but also others will be unlucky. It's no use complaining. Optimism is the most important.
The third psychological suggestion: a good mood is created by yourself.
Many times, we can't change other people's opinions, only ourselves. Life is not good, not because of other people's sins, but because we are in a bad mood. The golden key to a better life is not in the hands of others. Give up our resentment and sigh, and a better life will be within reach. Subjectively, we want to live a good life, objectively, we don't live a good life. The reason is that we always want to wait for others to improve our lives, and we don't expect to change others and be the masters of our own lives.
The fourth psychological suggestion: do what you should do with your heart.
Life is so short, who cares about waste? A wise philosopher once said: When someone scolds me in the street, I don't even look back. I don't want to know this boring person at all! "We should not hurt others, nor should we be influenced by others' criticism. We should learn skills first according to our own wishes. Especially when you are young, you should go all out to learn skills and don't be distracted.
The fifth psychological suggestion: extremely undesirable.
Some people often worry too much, leading to their mental disorders; Some people are indifferent to everything because they are insensitive. The former often suffers from being unable to find the reason, but dies because of being too clever. The root of stupidity lies in regret for everything. The latter doesn't know what regret is, and lives in a daze all day. There is no difference between life and death.
Sixth psychological advice: don't chase worldly honor.
Looking for something recognized by others all your life will make you lose happiness and happiness forever. Vulgar comments will annihilate a person's personality, and secular advice will make people feel at a loss. Money for money will make people disown their parents, power for power will make people bold, and name change will make people take advantage. In the deliberate pursuit, the real me will become a fragment fluttering in the wind, and the secular me will become an abomination. Get kitsch, lose truth. Be confident and have yourself.
Seventh psychological advice: don't always think about making yourself uncomfortable.
Learning to appreciate yourself means having the golden key to happiness. Appreciating yourself is not narcissism, self-indulgence, self-indulgence or complacency. Give yourself some information, a little happiness, a smile. Why worry about happiness without life? Always give yourself a vacation and learn to find a happy mood.
The eighth psychological hint: the most important thing is today's mood.
Why do you lose your present mood because of painful remorse, and why do you live in fear because of inexplicable worries? The past is gone forever, and it's no use regretting. The future is still out of reach, no matter how worried you are, you will be sad. Today, today's heart, today's things and people are real and feel good. Of course, it is wise to sum up past experience and guard against future risks. Yesterday has passed, but tomorrow hasn't come yet. Today is real.
What should I do if I often "tangle"
The word "tangled" has gradually become a common word of modern people. People like to express their situation or psychological state with "entanglement", which also reflects the excessive psychological pressure of modern people. How should we resolve the "tangled" emotions?
What is "tangled"?
The fifth edition of Modern Chinese Dictionary interprets the word "tangle" as "tangle" and uses it as a verb. From the glyph point of view, entanglement is a very vivid word, which gives people the feeling that a group of objects are intertwined and branches overlap. The radicals of "Zheng" and "Jie" are the same. The word "correction" represents entanglement, and the word "knot" represents the trend of cohesion. When "correction" meets "knot", it is both tangled and gathered. How can people not struggle?
In fact, in life, the word tangled is more widely used and more flexible. Can be used as a verb, "My recent work makes me very entangled"; It can also be used as an adjective, such as "the plot of this movie looks tangled"; It can even be used as a noun, such as "I don't know how to get rid of the entanglement in my heart." Whether describing events, expressing one's feelings or even describing one's personality, the word "tangled" can just meet people's requirements.
When "tango" was very popular, some people thought that "tango" was an exotic product of Oriental Fusang, and some people thought that it was a hipster made by the new generation after 90. In fact, the word tangled has existed since ancient times. Li Bai said in his poem, "Ye Mao, the sky flies". Today's tangled explosion is actually the vitality of this word after 1000 years.
Although tangling is full of ambiguity in use, it can meet the needs of users in terms of ideographic meaning. Entanglement is "entanglement", just a subjective abstraction of the objective state; Today, when people choose to describe their feelings, entanglement makes people find an appropriate way to express their unspeakable feelings and make people spit out the stagnation in their hearts. Isn't it soon!
Psychological phenomenon hidden in "entanglement"
What is worth thinking about is what kind of social and cultural spiritual code is hidden when people are entangled in "spit it out"? From the perspective of social psychology, buzzwords are the embodiment of some social psychology. From "ignoring me, I am annoyed" to depression, and then to entanglement, the words used to express feelings in people's mouths are gradually changing with the passage of time.
Looking back at the social footprint, there has never been such an era in which information technology has developed so rapidly. Everyone can become a "self-media" and release information at any time. Massive information fills every inch of modern space; In this era, material production is so rich and diverse that the boundary between "things and me" is quietly blurred in the materialized society; With the development of cultural diversity, individuals have full freedom of choice. Although the wise man said that the difference between wisdom and cleverness lies in knowing how to choose, how can people be smarter and how can they not struggle in the face of many temptations?
Faced with many choices and worries, dilemmas and even dilemmas, people are struggling and confused between rationality and sensibility, desire and restraint, moral persistence and lack, dreams and reality; People are constantly wandering and asking questions between themselves and others in history and now. At that time, individuals may not feel pain, but when entanglement becomes a universal social psychological label, the loss of value in the process cannot be said to be social pain.
How to deal with the "tangled" psychological situation?
In fact, people will complain that life makes them too entangled, but they don't know if they think too much and do too little. Often confused by many choices, in a dilemma, but never thought about what they really need; I hate being blocked in vagrancy, but I don't want to break through myself. Sometimes, when we encounter troubles, we are entangled; When encountering setbacks, we are entangled; When we are dissatisfied, we are entangled; When we are confused, we are entangled, and people cling to the inevitable bumps in life, which are actually false entanglements. At present, setbacks are inevitable, and facing challenges with a sunny attitude is the best choice.
Aside from all kinds of false entanglements, what are the real entanglements and how to grasp them? There was once a story that some American college students launched the fast food burger movement, opposing the exploitation of workers by the fast food industry and reflecting the value of labor. Soon, many people joined the ranks of fasting hamburgers. After a period of time, people found that just behavior would have the opposite effect. Due to the decline in hamburger sales and the decrease in the income of fast food enterprises, the situation of workers has not improved, but they are facing the dilemma of unemployment.
Life is complicated and tangled. Have more wisdom and courage, grasp the principles in your heart, look up at the stars and be down to earth. Perhaps the ideal Peach Blossom Garden is not far away.
Summary: There is nothing in the world for nothing. Look on the bright side when things happen, and live an active life at ordinary times. Don't always think about life in a mess, just open your eyes and live every day gratefully ~ (The article was originally published in Healthy Urbanians, issueNo.: 2065438+March 2002, by Long Fu, and the copyright belongs to the author; The purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 360 Common Sense Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. Please contact us as soon as possible if it involves content, copyright and other issues, and we will delete the content as soon as possible)