Funny quotations 1 1. I'm not a fortune teller on the overpass, so I can't say so many things you like to hear.
2. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.
After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix in kindergarten.
The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. Love yourself, no rival in love.
My life creed is: live like a grandson for decades until you become a grandfather and then die.
6. As long as you are thin, everything is omnipotent. If you are fat, nothing is useful.
7. Everyone is primitive at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!
8. Friends are iron, which melts when burned.
9. Some people test their strength, others test their eyesight, and I test my imagination.
10, don't give me a hard look, you think you are a palette.
1 1, I want to ask: we all paid money at school, shouldn't teachers listen to us?
12, looking at beautiful women in the street, looking up is appreciation, looking down is hooliganism.
13, it will be dark and the road will be slippery. You may not know who is more cunning than you on the way home.
14, youth is capital, but it is worthless without hard work.
15, my advantage: courage to admit mistakes; Disadvantages: resolutely do not change.
Funny quotation 2 1, heartless, can live a hundred years, have a clear conscience, and be a man without fatigue.
I don't know music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.
I took your promise to feed the dog last night and found the dog dead the next morning.
There was an activity in a shopping center yesterday. I heard there was a song by BiBi Zhou, so I went there. I didn't know there was a man named Zhou Bi until I got there.
It is not difficult for me to believe you. Let me look at you first!
6. I counted my fingers and found that I was missing in your life.
7. If weak water is just sadness, I think the Pacific Ocean is my paradise.
8. In this fickle age, the best way to make others remember you is to owe money and not pay it back.
9, people don't commit me, I don't commit crimes; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.
10 In order to increase nutrition for my daughter, I cooked roast chicken wings in the oven. When my daughter came back, I took the chicken wings out of the oven and found something wrong with the color. Obviously not cooked, I said to myself, "Alas, it's not cooked well this time." My daughter standing by whispered to me, "Mom, it doesn't matter. I didn't do well this time. "
1 1. Fart is the unyielding soul of the food you eat.
12, since people get tanned, their faces look good, their teeth turn white, and they don't blush after drinking.
13, there are no fat people in the world, and there are many thin people, so there are fat people!
14, I often wake up from my dreams because I had a hungry dream, a hungry dream.
15, the three things I fear most in my life, the first is fear of death, the second is fear of illness, and the third is fear of dying if I get sick.
16, three points are doomed, seven points depend on hard work, and ninety points are at the teacher's place.
17, never argue with the same fool, because in the end, you will never know who is a fool.
18, eating life is like a train. To sum up, just eat, eat, eat.
19, every time I see a couple, I will sing the song "Happy Break-up, I wish you happiness".
20. Teacher: "Daxiong, the teacher gave you 90 yuan, and then you borrowed 10 yuan from Pang Hu. How much money do you have?" Nobita: "0 yuan." Teacher: "You don't know math at all!" " Nobita: "You don't know anything about Pang Hu! "
2 1, a woman in the new era, went to the hall, climbed over the fence, fought for a mistress, and beat a hooligan, but she couldn't get out of the kitchen.
22. If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so, and don't always let others move around to help you tell me you're sorry.
23. After breaking up, I shook my head smartly and threw away my wig.
24. The first time I went to eat Italian pizza, I didn't know what to eat, so I ordered a set meal in 8 yuan, 38 yuan, and brought a cheese. After dinner, I found something missing. I thought there was a piece of cheese missing, so I shouted, "Waiter, why hasn't my cheese been served yet?" I ate it all. Should I let others eat it? Waiter: Sir, your cheese has been poured on your pizza. Me: Nothing, you go and get busy!
25. Every dormitory has one who grinds his teeth, one who talks in his sleep, one who snores and one who sleeps late.
Funny Quotation 3 1, Lei Feng did a good thing without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.
2. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.
3. Say that money is a sin and everyone is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!
Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience? ! !
The quieter the tree is, the more I love it. He is not there.
6. If you are doomed to fail to give me the expected response. Then keep a safe distance.
7. Hold your hand and drag it away. The son said no, well, close the door and let the dog go!
8. Live the blues spirit of hip-hop like erhu.
9. God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you!
10, life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next.
1 1, Journey to the West told us that monsters with backgrounds were all taken away, and those without backgrounds were killed by a stick.
12, I shine in this beautiful moment with the attitude of God. Don't disturb mortals ...
13. Bus congestion is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam.
14, I allow you to walk into my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in my world.
15, the sign of immature men is that they can make heroic sacrifices for their ideals, while the sign of mature men is that they can live humbly for their ideals.
16, red beans don't grow in the south, they grow on my face. I really miss them.
17, people are not smart and bald like others.
18. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.
19, how to lose weight without eating?
20. During the onset of intermittent depression, strangers should not disturb and acquaintances should not find out.
2 1, I thought I was decadent, and only today did I know that my morning paper was scrapped.
22. What is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat and watch others chew bones.
23. If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.
I want to wake up and open my eyes one day and find myself sitting on a desk and chair in the primary school classroom. The chalk thrown by the teacher hit him right on the forehead.
25. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. My mother said: I can have this, and I said: I really don't have this.