Let's talk about what's in my heart first.
In psychology, there is a way to close the interpersonal distance, which is called "self-confession". In other words, if you tell each other a little secret, they will appreciate your honesty and trust and share a little secret with you. In this way, both sides know their little secrets, and they will feel that the other side is as close as their own.
On the contrary, we don't do this when chatting. We always talk about gossip, news, travel, eating, drinking and having fun. Although you will be very enthusiastic, do you still feel that you don't know each other and the distance is still so far away? The impression of the other person is still so vague in your mind that you can't change their stereotype. What do you think of each other? After the chat, it is still the same, and there is no such contrast effect. For example, I thought it was difficult for you to get close, but the result of the chat was the same.
So, put down your disguise, put down your reserve, say what you think, be yourself, say what you want, and constantly reveal some of your little secrets to each other. Even if you think your shortcomings are the bright spots in the other person's eyes.
Second, tell the story of growing up as a child.
Talking about childhood is a good topic, because when you experience it personally, you will have a special sense of picture and substitution, and you will bring the other person into that scene at once, just like Zhu Jun often said in "Art Life": "Think about it, a 1 1 year-old child is running desperately on a country road. . "This is the sense of picture, your image will be more three-dimensional, lovers will give you more imagination, and the growth story of this sense of picture will mobilize the right brain of the other party and increase the three-dimensional memory of the other party.
Third, chat future planning
To tell the truth, many couples are hanging on this level. When couples chat, girls usually ask boys about their future plans. Young boys hate this topic most, because at his playful age, they don't want to face such profound problems, such as when to buy a house, when to buy a car, when to jump ship, when to get married, and when to earn enough for the first 6.5438+0 million. These topics are too realistic, and boys will feel that they are considered too early. They will walk and watch, and suddenly they can't see the future road of 10. Let's do it step by step.
In fact, girls are most concerned about this issue. She hopes to get a sense of security from your questions and feels that she is looking forward to being with you. Even if it doesn't come true, she thinks the future is beautiful. Therefore, it is suggested that boys take this opportunity to plan themselves in advance, set a goal and give themselves and their loved ones a detailed struggle path, which is beneficial to both sides.
Fourth, talk about mutual understanding of feelings.
You can ask each other a question: What do you think is the most comfortable way or scene to get along with each other? What is your bottom line in interpersonal relationships? This is a very good question. Mainly can understand each other's feelings, examine whether the three views are consistent, and also know their respective communication taboos, so as to lay a good foundation for harmonious coexistence in the future.
Fifth, talk about the topic of happiness and humor.
Life is hard, and talking about happy things can relax your mood, which is why the box office of comedies is higher than that of bitter dramas. Everyone likes to go to the cinema to play and doesn't like to cry. Therefore, when chatting, we should cultivate our humor and try our best to make each other happy. When you see good funny jokes, you should pay attention to collecting them and recording them in a notebook. In the right scene, shaking out works well.
In addition, learn to laugh at yourself and pretend to be forced, others will resent it, others will accept it, boys can laugh at themselves for being ugly and poor, and girls can laugh at themselves for being lazy and thinking beautifully, which will be a good lubricant. Speaking of being ugly, you can make fun of your little eyes. Once on a plane, the stewardess took the initiative to cover herself with a blanket.
Sixth, talk about people and things around you.
Say A and B first, and use them as conversation materials. People are nothing more than laughing at others and then being laughed at by others. Just from the topic of people and things around you, there will be a steady stream of topics and materials that will benefit you for a lifetime. Because people and things are dynamic processes.
Seven, talk about topics that can make each other more motivated and better.
Once lovers break through intimate contact and complete physical intercourse, they must find ways to bring themselves into life and inject more nutrition into safety. If they just eat, drink and be merry, they will be like flowers picked and wither after a while. When two people are together, they can help each other and make them develop in a better direction.
For example, talk about how to make money, how to keep fit, how to improve the image, how to dress up, how to add value, how to make the other family live better, how to judge the future trend, how to seize the opportunity, how to plan the future development direction and so on. These can make people progress, beautiful topics, are topics that can increase the feelings of both sides.
Eight, talk about each other's concerns will be more situation.
Everyone will pay attention to no more than three topics in the life stage. For example, when you are in college, all you care about is how to pass TOEFL Band 4 and Band 6, how to take the postgraduate entrance examination and how to find a good job.
In the social stage, the topics of concern are nothing more than how to improve the image, how to get promoted, how to take an examination of civil servants, how to buy a house and a car, how to maintain health, how to find a noble person and so on. When chatting, we will have a good chat around each other's pain points and topics of concern. People are selective and like to talk about their own topics. Talking about these topics, both sides will feel bosom friends. Wow, he still understands me.