2. Wife: How many times have I told you that this rice needs to be cooked more to be delicious.
I said: you bought rice and cooked rice.
The wife is furious: I am teaching you!
I have been married to my wife for more than ten years, and the romantic period has been very long! On a whim, I said to my wife in the morning, Let's talk about love again. You pretend you don't know me.
The wife said: ok!
I said to her: Hi! Little bitch!
Who knows, the goods slapped me as soon as they raised their hands, and called me: I'm bored to death!
My husband and I are going to have a baby, so recently I strictly manage my husband's diet and work and rest. The most important thing is to supervise my husband to quit smoking. My husband can't stand three days!
So he discussed with me whether he could have a cigarette when he went to the bathroom. If my husband is really uncomfortable, I will allow it.
However, this morning, I found my husband secretly taking laxatives. . .
6. When I came home from work and saw my wife asleep, I lifted the bed and just wanted to get in, I smelled a smell of white wine.
I asked my wife what was going on. Why is there such a strong smell of wine?
She said: You said that liquor was disinfected, so I took a bath with liquor to see how it worked. What's the fuss?
Me. . .
Boom! Niu Wangmo's son, of course, is called Wang Mo the calf.
Introduction: A female colleague has a very naughty son. Angry, she often said that it would be nice to have a girl. One day, the little boy was jumping around the house in her skirt. When he saw his mother, he shouted, Mom, look, do you want a girl or me?
1. Recently, the city's motorcycles were strictly investigated for violations. A friend of mine has a complete certificate. When I saw pol.ice checking the car on the road, I rode beside it on purpose, and was stopped by pol.ice. I proudly turned out all kinds of documents and found that pol.ice fined Ya 200 yuan for wearing slippers and driving a motorcycle. ...
2, the three-character classic for the ideal: there are problems: good eating, good picking up girls, good smoking and good drinking. Cause analysis: delicious, good girl, good cigarettes and good wine. Sum up experience: eat well, pick up girls well, smoke well and drink well. Rectification measures: eat well, soak well, smoke well and drink well. The final realization: eat a good meal, pick up a good girl, smoke a good cigarette and drink a good glass of wine.
Once I went to the vegetable market to buy food, I couldn't help glancing at a beautiful woman who bought pork. The beauty wanted to buy a catty of pork, but there was not enough pork left, so the boss cut a piece from the pig's face and shouted, "I'm shameless!" " "
One day, my brother asked his mother, "Mom, what's the name of Niu Wangmo's son?" Mother pouted and said, "You don't know this. That's stupid. Of course, Niu Wangmo's son is called calf Wang Mo. "I fainted on the spot. ...
One day, the male god and I finally held hands for the first time. We stood face to face, and he held my two hands with both hands. This scene is very romantic. Suddenly found that his right hand was slippery. You don't just apply moisturizer to your right hand, do you? I jokingly asked him what I seemed to understand after he stayed there awkwardly. ...
6. One day, my brother asked his mother, "Mom, what's the name of Niu Wangmo's son?" Mother pouted and said, "You don't know this. That's stupid. Of course, Niu Wangmo's son is called calf Wang Mo. "I fainted on the spot. ...
7. "Honey, do you know? Don't provoke a woman when she comes to her period, because at this time our temper is very grumpy and totally unreasonable, so we don't mind saying goodbye to you last time! " "You usually talk like a lot of sense! ! ! "
8. One day, the teacher met Wang Zhi who often skipped classes. The teacher was very angry. Wang Zhi saw it and ran away. The teacher said, "No way!" I want to know: "I don't believe it!" "Then, the king hit the wall.
9. the Monkey King got into Princess Iron Fan's belly and borrowed a banana fan. Look at the dialogue below. Wukong said, "Sister-in-law, I'm already in you." Princess Iron Fan: "Come out and get in the way. Uncle, I can't stand it ... Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I'm coming out soon. Please open your mouth quickly. Princess Iron Fan: "Hinder" Niu Wangmo from listening outside the door, leaving a divorce agreement ... and moving away from home.
10, A: Did you quarrel with your wife again yesterday? B: Well, at last she gave in and knelt down and begged me! How did she ask? B: She knelt by the bed and said, honey, I beg you, please come out from under the bed quickly, I won't hit you.
1 1. In the arithmetic class, the teacher asked A Dai, who is retarded, "What is 1+ 1?" A Dai thought for a moment and answered, "Teacher! I have no idea. " The teacher was angry and said, "You are such a fool! I can't even solve this problem. Let me ask you again: for example, how much do I add to you? " A Dai said, "I know this, two fools."
12, "Sister, judging from your appearance, you must be a person who respects the old and loves the young." "Brother, how do you see it?" "My mother told me several stories about respecting the elderly and caring for the young yesterday. One of them is a dinosaur called Jean Pear. "
13, I'm going to buy fruit. The boss's wife is so beautiful that my mouth is watering. After weighing her, she said a catty and I said, "Are you cheating?" This is not ten Jin! "She went on to say," Among them, there are eight pounds of saliva ... "
14. Wang Xiaomeng's exercise talked about the properties of aluminum hydroxide Al(OH)3. I said, "Aluminum hydroxide can react with acid to produce salt and water, and can also react with strong alkali to produce salt and water. What do we call it? " Wang Xiaomeng said without thinking, "Bisexuality?" I don't think it necessary to tell him again. ...
15, that night, you sat in the yard looking up at the moonlight, took out a cigarette, put it to your mouth, paused, and put it down again. Behind you, I looked at your lonely back and asked, "You quit?" You didn't look back and replied, "it's me, big brother."
16. A female colleague has a very naughty son. She is angry and often says that it would be nice to have a girl. One day, the little boy was jumping around the house in her skirt. When he saw his mother, he shouted, Mom, look, do you want a girl or me?
17, humans can't stop teachers from assigning homework! ! ! The teacher took a dozen test papers and put them on the table. When they left, the students said in unison, "Teacher, you have a dozen! ! "The teacher turned around and smiled:" It's more than a dozen of you. "
18, the classmate took a taxi to follow the trend and complained to his brother, "Your car is so boring that there is no music." Brother: "Then you'd better bring a fire truck and a sprinkler."
19, "Everyday, why didn't you go on a date these days?" Heroism every day, "ah, don't mention it. My girlfriend thought my wallet was too flat, so she blew it. Now I am trying to make money. " "So that's it!" But I saw my wallet spread out not far away. "I said your boy was lying!" This Doka also said that there is no money. " I was just about to ask myself why I lied to myself, "Yeah, I finally made10 billion, and now I can date." Pick up the phone, "hello? Dear, I have earned10 billion. Turn on the computer quickly and let's go shopping together. " "……"
20. In class, the teacher saw that we were sleepy again and put our textbooks together and said, "Now I will tell you a story about a romantic monk." Our spirits have recovered a little. The teacher said, "One day, a romantic monk walked across a bridge and saw a beautiful woman coming." And then suddenly stopped. We were fully awake and asked about the aftermath. The teacher said simply, "One went west, the other went east, and left. Ok, now the class begins ... "
2 1, physical education class When we were doing exercises, a piece of paper full of words fell out of the pocket of one of our male classmates. The sports commission picked it up and looked at it. After reading it, his face turned red. Later, I learned that it was a love letter written by the physics male teacher in our class to the male classmate. ...
22. When I was in high school, my teacher went to every dormitory to count the number of people every night. One night before going to bed, I routinely checked the number of people. When I saw a person shaking the quilt, I thought it was a cramp, so I went over and pulled it away ... I still can't forget the classmate who was at a loss with j8 ... and I haven't met a teacher to check our dormitory since then.
23. My parents didn't have time to take care of me when I was a child. My grandparents always look at me. Take me to kindergarten every day. As a result, one day no one came to pick me up after school. I held the iron gate of the kindergarten until it was dark. Suddenly I saw my parents walking here. My mother pointed at me and said to my father, "Look, this child really looks like our daughter!" "
24. On the way home from primary school, I suddenly saw my dad's car passing by, thinking that I didn't have to go at last, so I desperately shouted: Dad, Dad ... The whole street knows that I am calling Dad. After chasing 100 meters, the car stopped. It turned out to be an old man who rolled off the lathe. In order to hide his embarrassment, he continued to run to call his father …
25. At the dinner table after school, my father asked me, "Girl, do you have a boyfriend?" I said how is that possible? No, after a while, my mother brought the food, and he suddenly said, this food is really delicious. Get some for your other half. I said he didn't like it! Suddenly, we were silent for five seconds. ...
26. My brother was in trouble when he was a child. My mother wouldn't listen to him, and then my brother loved to cry with his mouth open. Once when he cried with his mouth open, my mother spit in his mouth. My brother stopped crying after that. I get drunk at the thought of that smell.
27. Mom, I don't mind you buying a wig, I don't mind you supporting the wig with a ball, and I don't mind you giving it to my closet, but please let me know! ! ! Do you know how I felt when I opened the closet and saw a head jump up and roll on my foot? ! ! I just scared myself to pee, okay! ! !
28. I remember when I was in the first grade, my father said he would pick me up for the first time, because my mother had been picking me up since primary school. After school, I waited for an hour without seeing anyone, and then walked back by myself. When I got home, my father hit me with a hanger and told me why I skipped class. Waiting for me for more than half an hour in XX primary school, I cried and said, "Dad, I am in the first grade."
29. View of the company: it looks like heaven from a distance, like a bank from a distance, and looks like a prison from a distance. Might as well go home and herd cattle and sheep. Everyone agreed that everyone would go. You earn money here and spend money here. How can you send money home? It is said that the salary here is high and I have no money to buy toothpaste. It is said that the food here is good, with grass added to it; It is said that the environment here is good, and cockroaches and ants run around; It is said that the foreman here is very handsome, and everyone has a flat-headed pot cover. I work every year and worry every year. I work overtime like a monkey every day. I am scolded every day for no reason. I bowed my head to see the boss. Shake your head when you get paid, and you are worried at the end of the month. I don't know when I can get ahead.
30. Listening to a group of men in the unit talking about private money, everyone is feeling that they will be discovered by their wives anyway; Angkor across from me said flatly, "I keep everything in the bank." They asked, "What about the passbook or card?" Angkor smiled innocently: "Burn it. When you want to use it, take your ID card to make it up. "
Editor's note: One day, the male god and I finally held hands for the first time. We stood face to face, and he held my two hands with both hands. This scene is very romantic. Suddenly found that his right hand was slippery. You don't just apply moisturizer to your right hand, do you? I jokingly asked him what I seemed to understand after he stayed there awkwardly. ...
Embarrassing funny phrases
My best friend said that the sign of her maturity is that she keeps accounts every day. Out of curiosity, I looked through her account book, only to find that it said: I spent it on May 7th and 8th, and actually spent it on May 9th ... Nima. ...
1, ask your girlfriend: "You are not the youngest, why do roommates call you the boss?" She proudly said, "Our dorms are not arranged by age." Looking at her towering breasts, I seem to understand something. ...
2. A takeaway shop nearby recently had a special offer, saying that it would not be delivered within 45 minutes, and it would be free directly. How exciting! In short, the courier brother chased my mobile RV for 20 minutes, but he failed to catch up after all, cool!
I went to withdraw money this morning, and my mother went to the ATM to get it. I waited for her in the battery car. Then came an old classmate, a handsome guy I had a crush on before. In an instant, I changed from a big-legged posture to a shy cross-legged, bowing my head and being shy. As a result, after receiving the money, my mother looked at me wriggling and said directly, "How long has it been, and hemorrhoids haven't healed yet?" mother ...
4. I took the bus in the morning and saw a pair of children. The girl asked the boy, do you love me? The boy replied: love. The girl asked: How long will you love me? The boy replied: I will love you until the day when the wolf eats all the sheep in Yangcun. Damn it, I'm completely shocked. This is more powerful than the end of the earth drying up and the rock cracking!
Horror movies are the best flirting products for couples. When the first ghost came out, the girl said "I'm so scared" and then hid in the boy's chest. Boys began to coax girls into saying, "Don't be afraid, I will protect you forever." The two men fell in love with each other very much until the end of the film. Horror movies are horror movies for singles. People are hard to push down!
Aunt: Young man, how much is this meat? Attendant: 18.8 yuan. Aunt: It's so expensive. It was only fifteen yuan yesterday The waiter said impatiently, love to buy or not. Aunt is furious: What are you arrogant about? Don't you know that customers are God? After a few seconds, the waiter replied: Sorry, I believe in Buddhism. ...
7. I went out with my roommate yesterday and saw a couple, a man and a woman. I said to my roommate, "What can a woman do when she comes down for a walk? That man is too stupid to save his strength for the night. "
Just now, my roommate, an idiot, proudly told me, "I did a very meaningful thing today. I put the two hamsters you took good care of back on campus. " Damn it, the school wildcats have been watching them for a long time, don't you know? There is really no way to play together.
9. Take my son to the company for dinner at night. During the dinner, I said to my son, "Son, do you want to live in a villa?" The son nodded: "Hmm!" Me: "Want to drive a luxury car?" "Uh-huh!" "Do you want to be a well-fed rich second generation?" "Uh-huh!" I touched my son's head and said, "If you want, study hard, make big money for your father in the future, and be a decent rich second generation."
10, Mom: I got a call yesterday saying that you got a girl pregnant and asked me to pay for an abortion. Uh: Ha ha ha. With your old information, you definitely fooled the liar! Mom: I asked them to give birth to their children, and I gave them alimony. They said yes, so I charged them 50 yuan phone bill. Son: Mom, you have been cheated! Mom: Get out! I gave birth to you for more than 20 years, and this is my closest grandson! I'd love to!
1 1. When I was abroad, my mother arranged for me to exchange photos on a blind date, and she took the photos on the copy of my ID card. Mom, do you want me to stay married for the rest of my life?
12, the husband looked at his daughter and said proudly, "You see how good my eyes were in my last life and how beautiful my lover was. I can't do it in my life, hey. " I was very angry when I heard it. I just want to get angry. My father said slowly, "You see, my eyesight in this life is much better than that in the last life." The person I recruited pissed me off!
13, I just saw the photos of my former classmates in the space, which made me deeply feel that an ugly duckling can also become an ugly old duck.
14, the girl grabbed his hand tightly and asked him, "Will you hold my hand like this forever?" He cried and said to the girl in the window, "Will you fucking let go?" The train has already left. "
15, I saw a very inspirational story. A poor guy in a company fell in love with Bai, so he decided to touch Bai's heart with his heart. After that, he secretly stuffed a note full of love words into the white drawer every day, and so day after day, year after year, he finally practiced a good hand.
16, when walking in the square, I saw a young woman holding a little boy of about four or five years old, and I couldn't help but take a look. The little boy climbed the fitness ladder, about two meters high, and shouted excitedly, "Mom, am I strong?" The young woman smiled at the bottom and said, "The baby is so brave. Are you afraid? " The little boy lowered his head. "fear!" Then I cried.
17, my goddess sat behind me in class today. In class, the goddess didn't bring books, and the teacher said that those who didn't bring books stood up. It suddenly occurred to me that this was not quite the same as the plot in those years. So I gave the book to the goddess and I stood up. The teacher said, "It's still so ostentatious to stand up and go out and do 500 leapfrog." After about 5 minutes, the goddess also came out. I said, "How did you get out?" The goddess said, "Why do you give an English book to math class?"
18. As long as what you like doesn't exceed your economic income, don't hesitate, don't talk about practicality and long-term, it's most important to spend some money to buy happiness and pleasure, because when you really become a rich man, no amount of money can necessarily buy equivalent happiness. Life is too short to afford! So, I said loudly at the convenience store: Boss, give me an ice lolly!
19. Recently, I saw many people say that they were green by their girlfriends. Think about the landlord's special wit. He found his girlfriend's brother as a husband, so he got home, haha …
M: We met in this life only because you left a tooth mark on my arm 500 years ago. Woman: Wow, so romantic. Man: My name was Lv Dongbin 500 years ago. ...
2 1, wife is fat. She came to me excitedly yesterday and told me that she had lost 4 Jin. I looked at her bloated figure and patted her consolingly: "Don't worry, you can't say for sure!"
22. Today, my father is a little unhappy. I went over to comfort him and finally said, "Think about the happiest thing I did when I was young, and relive it?" Then my dad beat me up. I must be uncle Wang's own son next door!
23. The teacher is talking about stealing the clock. Speaking of rising, let a student share his thoughts after reading. The student replied: "Some things don't exist if you don't know or pretend not to know, such as stumbling, such as love, such as the bell after class!"
24. If you were uglier, maybe I could take you shopping, watching movies, eating western food, taking a walk, and talking with stars about life and ideals. But you are so beautiful, I just want to sleep with you.
25. The second brother in our dormitory is a devoted person, including sleeping. One night, everyone slept for a long time. Suddenly, the second brother fell out of bed and everyone woke up. But they didn't bother to open their eyes for about five minutes. Just when everyone was about to fall asleep again, I heard my second brother get up from the ground. Shout: Shit, I fell down.
26. In the morning, a child came to draw blood. When he first came, he began to cry. His mother comforted him: "Don't cry, it's like being bitten by a mosquito. It will be all right soon." The child cried even more fiercely: "Boo hoo, it's all because the uncle who drew blood is too ugly to wear a mask."
27. Xiao Wang squeezed the bus that day, and a stout woman shook her body and stepped on him. The woman turned around and asked, "Does it hurt?" Seeing that she was so guilty, Xiao Wang shook his head shyly and said, "It doesn't hurt much." As soon as the voice fell, the woman immediately said excitedly, "Haha, it turns out that my weight loss has finally worked!" " I stepped on many people's feet these days, but you said it didn't hurt too much. "
28. I finally got up the courage to go to the plastic surgery hospital and came to the front desk. I saw the receptionist running and shouting: "Director, big business is coming!" Fuck!
29. Baby: "There is a girl in the class, which is particularly annoying!" Mom: "Really?" Baby: "Yes! Borrow an elephant skin from me immediately, borrow my homework immediately, and treat me to ice cream immediately. " Mom: "Get to the point!" Baby: "She is so ugly!" " "
30. One day, my mother and I watched TV series at home. The heroine fell in love with a foreigner, and all kinds of opposition at home eventually broke up. So I asked my mother, "What would you do if I wanted to marry a foreigner?" My mother looked at me carefully and said, "If you can get married, you will get married, let alone a foreigner or an alien!" " "I ...
Editor's note: One day, I asked an English master for advice: "Hello, Xueba, I can't remember the words." Xueba said: "In fact, it is not difficult. How do you remember the qq password? " After listening to it, I felt a lot. I went back to the dormitory and decisively changed the words I needed to recite into qq passwords. As a result, I woke up the next day and couldn't get on qq …
An embarrassing phrase
Introduction: My aunt came to our dormitory to check the hygiene yesterday. When she saw that the floor was quite dirty, she said, "Please mop the floor quickly, it's too dirty!" " Suddenly a brain-dead roommate lying in bed said, "what are you dragging?" You want us to get rheumatism! " "Then our dormitory or no electricity!
1. Today I went to the subway with my teammates and got off the elevator at the subway station. 2B in front is holding a loaf of bread and putting it in the mouth of his teammate! He took a big bite without saying anything. I became messy at once.
2. Girlfriend: "What would you do if we met a robber?" Me: "I'll help you remove your makeup!" " "
3. It is said that a crowded bus will get pregnant. I always thought it was just an exaggeration, but today I finally feel that there is really no place to put that man's meat. And the more crowded, the more fucking space it takes!
I just had a fight with my colleague. I didn't expect him to hold a grudge at all and care about my safety. He said this: "Be careful of Lao Zi in the future!"
5. Son: Dad, can I sleep with my mother for one night? Dad: No … Son: Why? Dad: Because you have grown up, adults can't sleep with their mothers! Son: Dad is so eccentric. Uncle Wang is also an adult. Why can he sleep with his mother? Dad: ...
6. Every time I take the bus at night, I always think a lot when I look at the passing pedestrians, dim street lamps and colorful streets outside the window. When I think of my memories, I can't help asking myself: Have I missed my fucking stop again?
Yesterday, my mother bought a new dress and went home to try it on. She said, "Mom looks a little old in this. Here you are ... "
8. A little loli (5 years old) who likes freezing asks me every day, "What can I do if my teacher is frozen one day?" No true love can save you ... "Ask me in a worried tone every day, and I'm really about to cry.
9. When you come to Shanghai to eat sweets all day, call your father to complain. My dad: "Do you want me to send you a big plastic bottle of hot sauce?" Me: "No, change the hot sauce into a ticket. Can be stuffed. " My dad: "Yes, there are many coins at home!" " "Me:" You are such a father, at least the fortress is red! ""My dad: "Then I'll give you a dime of hot sauce?" Me: ...
10, I went shopping with my dad today and took a fancy to a mobile phone. 1500 yuan. I said to my father, "You take half of the pocket money your mother gave you for a month, and I will take half of this month's living expenses to buy it." Dad thought about it, gritted his teeth and said, "All right!" So I readily took out 700 yuan, and my father trembled and took out 30 yuan from the sole.
1 1, the classmate's qq number was stolen, and the liar asked his mother for money and asked for 45 thousand. Then my classmate's mother said that you should call me, and the liar said that my mobile phone was broken. Do you treat me like a liar? Then the liar changed the signature of classmate qq to: I am a liar in the eyes of my family!
12 I just passed a crossroads and met a big black dog barking at me desperately. Alas … my temper suddenly came up. I stood beside it and pulled it hard, but it broke the chain …
13, at midnight, a roommate got up to burn toilet paper. We were awakened by the smoke and wondered why he burned paper. I will never forget his answer. "The country does not allow burial now, only cremation is allowed."
14, before my mother said I was beautiful, I always thought she was selfish and biased towards her daughter. It was not until National Day that she told me that Ma Yun was handsome that I fully understood that in my mother's eyes, I was really beautiful.
15, when I took a shower, I found that my hair was falling off badly and I was sweating! Ask a colleague who goes to wash, is this a god? He is very determined: "Normal! Spring and autumn is the season for animals to change their hair! "
16. Today, I had dinner with a second-rate friend I haven't seen for years. Afterwards, when two people were checking out at the counter, you fought for each other, pushed each other away, pushed us to the door of the hotel, and then ran away like this.
17, real conversation before marriage: "Mom, I have a girlfriend older than me." Mother replied without looking up, "as long as she is younger than me."
18, I just opened the door and turned on the light. Suddenly my eyes were full of salutes and ribbons. A group of people ran out of the room and shouted happily, "Happy birthday!" " I moved, looked around, and then said tearfully, "I'm sorry, I was wrong. I'm in the next room."
19, I went back to my hometown on holiday, and my hometown cooked with a stove. I'm in charge of the fire. I send messages to my boyfriend, light a fire, add firewood, watch my mobile phone, add firewood, watch firewood and add mobile phone. ...
20. God is fair. Giving you an ugly appearance will definitely give you a low IQ, so as not to make you appear uncoordinated.
2 1. There was a crab on the table at lunch today. I was stunned. My mother said, "Eat, my mother is full, but not hungry." I looked down to pick up the rice, and tears welled up in my eyes and dripped on the rice. "Son, mother is old, it's no use. You can clear the table after eating. " She pointed to a pile of crab shells in front of her.
22. Grandpa called the teacher: "Teacher, don't give my grandson so much homework." The teacher asked, "Why not?" Grandpa said helplessly, "Because I can't finish it."
23. My girlfriend didn't come, so I took a pregnancy test and won the prize. I told my boyfriend about it! My boyfriend was stunned and suddenly became furious: "I haven't told you this for months. How did you get pregnant? Do you have another man? " Girlfriend wronged: "If there are other men, I dare to tell you this!" " ! ! "The boyfriend also thought about it and said," Then think about it! "My girlfriend suddenly patted her head and said," Could it be because there were too many people going to the Forbidden City on the 11th and then they were squeezed out! "Boyfriend: ...
24. An idiot friend asked, "Do you know why girls like to wear low-cut clothes when they take the bus?" "Why?" "Because of this, someone gave her seat ..."
25. It is very cold in the north now, and there is no heating. Just now I asked my friend to describe how cold it is in one sentence. He replied without hesitation: "Farting under the covers makes me reluctant to open the quilt."
26. "Master, when you get up every morning, you should sit still for a while. Are you thinking about your life goals, preparing for a new day, or reflecting on what you did yesterday in order to better meet the challenges of the future? " "Shit, I'm waiting for something to soften before I pee!"
27. I spent all my childhood in Japanese TV dramas, all my youth in Japanese TV dramas, all my love in Korean TV dramas, all my coming out in English TV dramas, all my sexual life in American TV dramas, all my police doctors, lawyers and forensic doctors in Hong Kong TV dramas, and all my marriages in domestic TV dramas. -The first half of my life
28. My mother pointed to the unfinished exercise book and scolded me for being so disobedient. All the dogs in my family are better than me. Let me learn from them. After listening, I picked up my exercise book and bit it into pieces, but my mother was speechless.
When my daughter was born, I showed it to my wife for the first time. After seeing her, I turned my face away! Asked what happened to her, she said, "This is so ugly! What should I do in the future! "
30. Every time I take an exam, I feel like a Taoist. There is a bowl of water on the table, and the bottom and body are covered with various mysterious stripes. I'm very nervous. I listen to the east and look at the west, and the people sitting on the left and right don't disturb my peers. Now that you have sat down, you can't leave. Take every step and seize the time. If something goes wrong, you may be hurt both physically and mentally. Every time I think about it, I feel very distressed …
Editor's note: mom is, you said it was cold, let her send two clothes. She can't wait to send them to your closet. Dad is the one who immediately gives you money to buy it for yourself when you say it's cold. Husband is the one who comes to hug you when you say it's cold. A wife is someone who says "stay in a cool place" when you say it's cold!