The best friend I want to write now is the most important, sincere and intimate friend in my life, and the only friend with a very important position. The important thing is that when she is in financial difficulties, I will call her directly, and I will call her Alipay for 23,000 yuan. I gave three thousand red envelopes for her birthday. My financial situation is much better than hers, but the money is not small for me to stand on my own feet in Shenzhen.

However, for a close friend like me, I can't help but want to vomit her recent behavior. Before I spit, let me talk about her advantages.

1. I am very good at and familiar with dressing, skin care and beauty, manicure and eyelashes, and some very feminine businesses. I talked about "beautiful faces" with enthusiasm. This is complementary to my straight female personality. She will help me choose a mask and buy skin care products.

2. About my life, work, emotional experience, family background, etc. * * * is so strong, I think it is very useful to talk to her and it is very decompression. She never left me at the bottom of my life. She saw that my predecessors were not good to me, and her heart ached. She taught me how to love myself.

3. She has her own way of thinking about dealing with love relationship and ordinary interpersonal relationship. In these respects, she has a great influence on me. Let me get stronger and stronger on the road of feeling and loving myself.

Okay, now I'm pouring out my negative energy. Recently, I have been "mourning her misfortune and angering her" for her behavior. Unexpectedly, one day, I actually used this famous saying of Lu Xun on her.

I want to spit on her now, because I have a specific background.

That is, 20 19, a few months before marriage, my husband suddenly got into debt of 800,000 yuan. In the first year of marriage, in order not to worry about her financial problems, I lived by credit card. As a result, the debt has increased. To make matters worse, the epidemic in 2020 caused her husband 1-20000' s monthly income to drop sharply. Economic problems are getting worse. It was in the second half of 2020 that my best friend got to know the cruelty of the present situation bit by bit, because the creditors actually contacted my best friend on the glory of the king and told her that her husband couldn't pay back the money.

Then, when her husband was heavily in debt, she deeply felt that work was meaningless. A month's work is only a few thousand dollars, but the interest and principal that need to be repaid in installments are all in "ten thousand" units. This is a vicious circle. With more and more debts, I feel that work is useless, but I can't find a way to make money without working. My best friend herself used to be the anchor of Taobao JD. Sell clothes on the favorite shopping platform of a clothing company. After working for half a year, I feel that there is no future, my salary is low, I can't sell it without traffic, and I want to resign. Finally resigned. Both of them lost their income.

Then a short-term project appeared. My boyfriend and I took them and taught them from scratch. Later, her husband was quite successful in this project and achieved 90% power output. This project lasted for five months, and basically everyone earned 30,000-50,000 yuan a month. During this time, their relationship between husband and wife eased a lot.

But the disadvantage of this project is that it lasts for a short time, and I don't know when it will end immediately, so let them be psychologically prepared to accept it and plan a work plan after the project is over. During the project, my best friend was admitted to the hospital because of illness. It really rained all night, and she was admitted to the hospital twice a month. It was a very expensive time. She just signed up for an HPV vaccine (which costs thousands of dollars), and then in marriage, she has to bear the daily expenses of her husband's family and her family. Because I thought she was bad, I gave her Alipay 5000 yuan, which made her feel at ease and stopped worrying about life.

Then, in early June, the project will end. It means that the couple will start to face the state of no job and no income again. Then my best friend immediately fell into deep anxiety and quarreled with her husband several times. This is what I expected. So I started in March, and when the project went smoothly, I took a lot of shots with my girlfriend and did a lot of psychological construction, so that the couple could think about what options they could have for earning money after the project. Natural eggs. Things happened as promised. And anxiety.

At this point, I don't want to vomit my girlfriend, but I have provided her with a specific methodology and encouraged her to do it. First of all, for her husband, he said he didn't want to go to work. I encouraged him to develop his old job and mobile phone business. However, he doesn't want to do it either. I also tried to look at some positions that might be suitable for her husband from platforms such as BOSS direct employment, and also sent him links to introduce some positions. However, at present, her husband still has no job and no income. In addition, for my best friend, I had an in-depth chat with her and asked what she could do to make a living if she didn't want to go to work. Finally, there are two ways to discuss. 1. While exercising to strengthen her physique, she took the fitness instructor qualification exam. 2. Apprentice in a nail and eyelash shop, and learn the operation of the shop while learning the technology.

Regarding the coaching certificate, I helped her match the bridge, asked the coach in my current fitness studio, and also consulted a new girl who had already passed the coaching certificate. I sorted out the process and sent it to my best friend. It's simple. Go to an institution that has the qualification to train fitness instructors, and take exams and research according to regulations. She can do it. There is nothing to wait for.

Open a manicure and eyelash shop. I can help her by giving her money to invest in opening a shop after she finishes her studies. I don't know anything about other technical problems about how to do manicure and eyelashes, because I am a straight girl and I can't help her much. She loves to dress herself up, so she is better than me in how to find an apprentice in a nail and eyelash shop.

All right, here comes my point.

When she figured out what she wanted to do in the future, she didn't start working hard. I see her life like this every day: I will be with my family for the next two days. Because I haven't taken my family out to play for a long time, my mother and my sister's two children have started their summer holidays, and I want to play with them. Then, today, my sister and I went to a friend's house who runs a restaurant in Shunde for dinner. We ate until two or three in the morning. Everyone drank wine, so we stayed awake and drove everyone home. Then, tomorrow, I will accompany my niece and nephew to see a movie. Chinese Doctors told me that the movie was too uncomfortable and cried from beginning to end. The day after tomorrow, I will make an appointment with a thyroid doctor to analyze the film results and treat you if you are ill. I met my friends for dinner again today, because I haven't seen them for a long time.

Seeing her recent life, I silently sighed: Some people have no career, no money, and their lives have not improved. There is a real reason. They always have all kinds of things to do in life, but they can't work hard to achieve their goals (taking a coaching license and opening a nail salon), and they don't have time to work hard.

And after that project, I arranged a very free job for him, not bound by anyone's time. This is the type of getting more for more work. Think of it as WeChat business. I offer her products. Teach her how to make materials, how to manage groups and so on. His job is to keep sending friends and developing customers. However, I haven't seen her work hard for this matter either. She just told me, "I'm devastated. I didn't get a single order. " My inner monologue is really hehe. I taught her by hand, but she gave up at once when she encountered some difficulties and didn't want to work hard at all. Such people are doomed to make no money. Even winning the lottery and getting rich overnight may be zero. Because she didn't even try to buy the 2 yuan lottery, how could she win? ! Making money is a ghost! ! ! !

And when I look at myself, I really don't want to brag about how good I am. My own conditions are much better than those of the couple. I have a high educational background, various skills, and a lot of work experience, and I have a deposit in my hand (they also lent me 654.38 million yuan to pay off my debts). Like them, I feel bored at work and get a dead salary. But while I am anxious about my career and making money, I am constantly trying all kinds of possibilities to make money, inquiring about various businesses with different people, and digging up business channels and information.

Throughout July, I was trying to learn new business from Amazon Services and wanted to do sales. It took others a month or two to learn the business knowledge, and it took me three days to basically understand it. Later, because I didn't discuss the commission with the female boss, I didn't do it. Then I went to learn about an intelligent anti-collision system for cars and wanted to sell this product as an agent in Shenzhen. At present, the difficulty coefficient of this business is extremely high, but I have not completely given up and am still working hard. In addition, I learned about the export of e-cigarettes from my friends, so let me look for American resources. I also inquired in many ways, chatted with people who do foreign trade, searched for information on the Internet, and went to Huaqiang North for field research. I didn't do the last two things very well, and I haven't improved yet, but at least I'm working hard. I work hard for my goal every day. Hard work does not necessarily pay off. However, if you don't work hard, you will definitely not have a good result.

Look at myself, day by day, I am also very tired. Really, nobody's money is blown by the wind. Many people find it difficult to make money. Look at this couple who are still deeply in debt. What substantial efforts have they made?

Another important point is that I have tried my best to convince my best friend. Before marriage, her mother took care of her daily life, earned money to support herself, and gave several hundred yuan to her family every month. After marriage, her husband took care of her daily life, washing clothes, cooking, doing housework, pouring tea and handing water, all for her. As for herself, she used to make money at work as a contribution to the economy. Now, I have no job, I can't contribute anything, and I still have nothing to do at home. There will be a very objective problem here, that is, if daily chores always occupy her husband's time, then he won't have much time to fight for his career and make money. Her husband's career is more difficult. Therefore, it is really important for a successful man to have a wife at home. The details of daily life must be taken care of by her husband. At the same time, this small family needs her husband to earn money to support the family. Her husband really can't do it well. She depends on her husband for everything. Although she said she had a plan to make money, she never put it into action. I can't make money myself, and my husband is also delayed by her, which is double anxiety.

This matter, I will think, woman, it is certainly a pleasure to have someone to take care of in this life. But many times, none of us is the majority of women (I believe that we need to rely on self-reliance), so we must rely on ourselves. I woke up my best friend. Did the current life difficulties make her realize that she can't rely on her husband for everything, but on her own feet? You depend on others for everything, economy and daily life. Once the ability of others is limited and there is no 100% reliability, yours will be in an extremely passive state as it is now. I have no money in my hand, and I can't make money by my husband. I have no choice but to be tortured by fate.

I also tried to analyze their current environment.

1. Both of them have average work skills and are not confident in finding a job. The background ability, the ability to match the work in the world, and the salary are basically low. Only sales, which is not very academic and work experience, pays attention to ability and takes commission, has more room than fixed salary. However, my best friend is not suitable and doesn't want to be a salesman. Her husband used to do it, but now he doesn't really want to do it.

They all live in the countryside of Guangzhou. Such a big environment has led people around to covet comfort. This seems to be the characteristic of most local people in Guangzhou. With a roof on his head and food in his mouth, he has no will and motivation to work hard. Eating and drinking with people in the village every day is poor and happy, and there is no idea of fighting at all. Boil frogs in warm water.

It is impossible for them to leave their original home and go to other cities to work hard, just like mainlanders (in the eyes of Cantonese, except locals, all parts of the country are mainlanders and northerners) go out to make a living and enter the world. They don't have the courage to rent a house in another city to make a living before they have any plans to make money. They also feel that this is of little significance. To make matters worse, now living in the village with my parents, I don't have to pay rent, and I have to go out and work hard to rent a house, which is another aggravating expense.

In view of the above situation and reasons, it is really difficult for them to solve the current debt problem. After having these ideas recently, I don't want to give money to my best friend for some time to come. If two people don't work hard, then wait until the end of their tether and let the cruel life push out their potential. Really, saving the poor is not saving the poor. I deeply realized it again.