In daily study, work and life, people always touch or use sentences. Sentences can be divided into different types according to their different uses. Are you still looking for excellent classic sentences? The following are the funny sentences I collected for reference only. Welcome to reading.

Funny 1 1, there is no doubt that I am the poor man in your dream.

When I have money, I will buy a bus, take the bus lane and stop at the bus stop. When someone wants to get on the bus, I will say: Sorry, this is a private car.

3. Women should not think that they can stop studying because they are good, and men should not think that they can grow ugly because they study well.

4. I feel special. I have watched Journey to the West 86 for many years. I always thought 100 episodes, at least 50-60 episodes. I want to see it today, damn it. Only 25 episodes. When I was a child, I always felt that I couldn't finish reading. Do you think Journey to the West is very long?

It's an insult to my dark circles that someone wears blue eye shadow!

6. I like you so much that you will die.

7. I am not a superman, because I wear pants outside my underwear.

8. If this is not love, then I'd rather sell cabbage.

9. Waiting for your concern until I close my heart.

10, it is inevitable to blame the hand of time and write love as love.

1 1, the weather is as hot as a joke and life is like nonsense.

12, don't dawdle, or the days will mix you up.

13, if you are destined not to give me the expected response. Then keep a safe distance.

14. Touch screens are popular in mobile phones and computers now. A friend especially felt: Now that technology is developing so fast, it is hard to say which day TV will touch the screen. Another friend said: you are so stupid! Do I have to walk over and poke with my finger without the remote control?

15, when I love you, what you say is what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

16, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me?

17, woman, eloquence is common but figure is not common; Men are often numbers, not money.

18, I accidentally want to grow old with you.

19, it was still very easy to mix in ancient times. Cut it and you can be a civil servant.

20. People have lost weight, waist and buttocks. Why do we have to start with brain cells?

2 1, I'm going to make a download software called Muer. Because lightning is inaudible.

22. The merry-go-round is the most cruel game in the world, chasing each other, but always separated by a sad distance.

23. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.

24. When time and patience are luxuries, we can only get to know each other through horoscopes.

25. Raising fish is very troublesome. I often forget to change water once a week. Then I have to change the fish once a week.

26. You are too short! Let me borrow your telescope to see more clearly. Am I not handsome?

27. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date is to look at Feng Shui for the grave; Confession is digging your own grave; Marriage is a double suicide; Empathy is moving the grave; A third party, it's a grave robbery!

28. People always see us holding hands happily. In fact, the truth is: yes, once I let go, she will go shopping.

29. I won't hit you, you don't know that I am both civil and military.

30. Wear other people's shoes and take other people's roads, so that others can neither find shoes nor find their way.

3 1, there is a grave in my heart, where widows are buried.

32. Couples need to investigate deeply, otherwise how can they get to know each other?

33. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

You are not a traffic policeman in my mind, so you have no right to interfere in my direction.

35. When summer comes, I realize that staying in a cool place is not a curse. This is definitely the most sincere concern and the deepest love.

Don't mess with me, or I will let you die rhythmically.

I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world.

38. Think about the salary ratio. Forget it. I don't want to live.

39. Although you are wearing cologne, I can still vaguely smell the slag.

40. Some people are as smart as the weather and changeable. Some people are as stupid as the weather forecast, and they can't tell when the weather changes.

Funny sentence 2 1 No matter how bad your grades are, you can still laugh. This is the dignity of a student.

2. Ask why everything has its vanquisher.

3, life is like toilet paper, nothing to pull as little as possible.

I am your kite, the thread is in your hand, and only wind energy accompanies me.

5, there are matches, do not wash your hair for a few days, itchy scalp, grab and burn.

6. Lovers will eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses will eventually become families.

7. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain.

8. Once you were my world, now you are replaced by all directions.

9. There is a kind of fill-in-the-blank question called not at all; There is a multiple-choice question that looks right; There is a writing topic called "I want to cry when I write".

10, the need of life is to take, and the greatest need is to be needed.

1 1 doesn't affect you? I will cremate you.

12, the so-called puppy love is just to raise a wife for others.

13, it doesn't hurt to lose me.

14, your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

15, once a little girl said to me upstairs: Brother, you are so handsome! I immediately replied: not handsome, not handsome, just long.

16, get out of here as far as your thoughts are!

17, we are all passers-by, but fortunately we didn't hit each other.

18. I found my mobile phone missing. I searched my bag and every corner of the house, but it didn't work. I sat on the ground, took out my mobile phone from my pocket and sent a short message to everyone: I lost my mobile phone.

19, behind every single man, there is a pair of strong and lasting hands!

20. I usually forget to scold you. You didn't know you were both civil and military until you hit him.

2 1, my god, did you let summer and winter share a room? Give birth to this damn weather!

22, give you two choices, do you like me or like me?

23, people can cross natural obstacles, but can't use wisdom to cross the obstacles set by people themselves.

24. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

25. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

26, hooligans are not terrible, they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

27, Tanabata has finally passed, my brother can finally get up, single men can't afford to hurt!

28, Tanabata season is so romantic, pedestrians on the road are too ambiguous, where there is a romantic place, beautiful women point to people on the road.

29. Hello, the number you dialed is out of service. Please dial again in your next life.

30. The clearest sentence in listening comprehension of CET-4 today: Now please take out the tape and turn to side B to continue listening.

3 1, you can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

32, love is nonsense, the more you pull, the weaker you get.

33. Every day, I draw circles on my calendar. It was not until Sunday that I discovered that my life was an ellipsis.

34. My future is not a dream, but a nightmare.

Can we go somewhere for a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

Funny 3 1, some people, when making masks, look much better than real people.

2. If I can't see you again, can I slap your face?

My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over.

It is said that people with big faces are generally super good-tempered, because it is really difficult to turn their faces. Forgive me for my big face and love to eat all my life.

5. I dropped my mobile phone so many times that nothing happened, and then I thought my height saved it.

6. It doesn't matter without Lori's face, but do you dare to have a man's heart?

7. There are always a few friends around me: I saw the plane for the first time, and I don't know which mental hospital it was after I got acquainted.

8. I vaguely remember that I learned online shopping to save money.

9. My last name is Ruan. Because I like sugar very much, my friend told me to eat less.

10, there is only one worry when you are not full, and there are countless worries when you are full.

1 1. I hate those children. They fantasize about being princesses all day. It is so boring. I'm different. I am the prince.

12, my outlook on life, Red Bull for a while, Wang Laoji for a while.

13, a Lamborghini just passed by me and splashed all over me. At that time, I swore that when I got rich, I would buy my own raincoat.

14, someone asked me why I am a schoolmaster. I said, before, a senior told me, son, we have no other way out except studying.

15, go out to eat beef hotpot with me. This product said beef tendon is the best, and then I got a big piece. As a result, I was still chewing the beef tendon until I paid the bill.

16. The existence of tears proves that sadness is not an illusion.

17, sleeping in class, fighting after class, dying in the exam.

18, what Tanabata is not Tanabata, mom is still embarrassed without you.

19, he said he wouldn't let you suffer a little injustice, but he didn't break his word and made you suffer a lot.

20. How to explain your obesity gracefully? There are many things in my heart, and it is not good to lose weight.

2 1. They say that you become stupid in front of the person you like. Do I like homework? No

22. I didn't like to eat when I was a child, which led to my short stature now; I love eating now, which makes me fat and short. Embrace your chubby self in danger.

23. Don't be nice to everyone, they won't give you money.

24, young, heavy. The balance is not much, but I want to buy a lot.

25, Tanabata is coming, it's time to go back to heaven and talk to Yue Lao.

26. I am a good-natured person. If one day someone steps on my bottom line. What would that be like? Then I'll lower the bottom line again.

27. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

28. What I value most about boys is talent. Looks are not important, just handsome.

29. Others want to have a romantic date together on Valentine's Day, but I want to visit your ancestors together when I am in Tomb-Sweeping Day.

30. If there is military training, it will be sunny. If you have a holiday, it will rain. If you work hard at your homework, it will be the day before school starts!

3 1, when men and women flirt, the most distinctive Chinese character is born: bump.

32. I knew he was a bad guy, but I forgot to say it.

Let the storm come more violently. Anyway, I sell umbrellas!

34. Teacher, just follow the old lady! ... after a long time ... teacher, please give me a break!

35. There is gold under a man's knee. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

36. Every time I see a couple, I will sing the song "Happy Break-up, I wish you happiness".

37. Old people can't kill children, women or men.

If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I'll resign. Give him two more Chinese before resigning and kill him.

39. My mother said that the prodigal son will never change his money. Who will give me gold? I will change.

Grandpa comes from his grandson. ...

4 1, you say you are my friend, but in fact I know that animals are indeed friends of human beings.

42. People who like me are good people. People who don't like me are bad people. Nobody hates me.

Lying is a man's privilege, being cheated is a woman's patent …

44, you also let me kneel and rub the washboard, kneeling and electric heating really can't stand it!

45. Czechoslovakia My name is Jack, and my wife always complains about me like this.

46. In high school, everyone has a name tag. Before a ward round, the class teacher ran to the classroom and shouted, put on your bra and come to ward round … The whole room was silent …

47. Don't deteriorate in debauchery, but change in silence.

48, advertising is to tell others that his money can still be spent like this.

49. I asked her, "Have you ever had a boyfriend before?" She said, "I had it in high school." I know perfectly well past ask, "Are you from Henan?" She was frightened: "with men, of course!" "

50. Male: Outside the Qingshan Building outside the mountain, love and marriage are free. Woman: Wanshui Qian Shan is just idle and in no hurry to make money.

5 1, friends fell in love for two months, and the screen name was changed to "blue". Only recently did I know that the literal translation of blue into Chinese is called "Bulu".

52. It's too late for you to fall in love now, so you should concentrate on your studies ... in college. It should have been solved in junior high school and high school.

53. Who will marry me in the future: I don't know who you are dating now. Don't waste your feelings on others. Let's get to know each other sometime.

54. Today I heard an eight-year-old girl sing, two tigers, two tigers, falling in love, falling in love. All men, all men, so perverted, so perverted.

55. Even if you are frustrated again, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love!

56. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. I love myself and have no rival in love.

57. I read an article in Weibo saying whether you would like to fall in love with yourself. I struggled for a long time and finally chose not to. For an instant, I stopped blaming the people who abandoned me.

Come out for a second. I need to talk to you. ""about what? " "love. "

59. A woman came back from the supermarket and complained bitterly, "If the customer is always right, why isn't everything free?" .

60. There are flowers in spring, moons in autumn, cool breeze in summer and snow in winter. If there is no trouble, it is a good time on earth.

6 1, Ajie walked through the cemetery and was very scared when he heard a knock at the door. He was relieved to see a man touching the tombstone and asked what you were doing. The man said that they carved my tombstone wrong.

62. A student threw a coin into the air: "Look up at the movie and play billiards on your back. If the coin stands up, it will. Just study! "

If you want to have a happy day, drink more wine. If you want to be happy in January, you must find the feeling; If you want to be happy for a year, you must give up your troubles; If you want to be happy all your life, don't follow the new trend.

A Ju was bullied one day, crying and crying, and then drowned herself. Feifei did not drown. Why? Because Feifei can fly.

65. I went to the supermarket today. Originally, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes, but when I saw that the cashier was my ex-girlfriend, I resolutely put down my cigarettes and proudly walked out with a pack of menstrual towels!

66. You bought a mask with a floor of 18. You wear it every day and go to crowded places. Seeing him yesterday, a word made you dizzy. "Dude, did you wear the mask backwards today?"

67. Two cows are eating grass. One of them said: mad cow disease is prevalent recently, so we won't be infected, will we? The other end of the phone said, no, we are kangaroos. Already crazy!

68. Girlfriend: What are the conditions for falling in love? Boyfriend: Male and female. Girlfriend: Nonsense. Boyfriend: Yes, and a lot of nonsense.

69. I never knew that parting would be so sad, missing so strongly, and loving you would make me so crazy. But I know in my heart: I only love you!

70. Only in football can we see a group of multimillionaires desperately chasing another group of multimillionaires, and we can also see them swearing, spitting and twisting into a ball.

7 1. A child gave me 100 yuan to be his parents. When I got to his class teacher, I immediately knelt down and said, "Wife, listen to me!" " "

72. The summer homework is actually that you write a month and the teacher writes a reading.

73. W: I want to divorce my husband. Lawyer: Is there any reason? Woman: I suspect that he is the father of my child.

74. Dad called me today and said something had happened to my sister. I hurried home and saw my sister sitting on the sofa with her head down. My mother's eyes are red.

In the 1970 s and 1950 s, fellow villagers met fellow villagers and joined forces to make steel. In the 1960 s, fellow villagers saw fellow villagers and took different positions; In the 1970s, when the villagers met, they were all directors.

76, the difference between men and women; Women are plump, thin, slim, tall, delicate and short. Men are fat pigs, thin ribs, tall bamboo poles and short wax gourd!

77. Do you know why some people like to put their hands in their sleeves? Because she/he knows that even if she stretches out, no one will hold it. It is better to shrink warmly.

78. Xiao Wang Gang said to the king, "After I get married, I must ask my husband if he is hungry, even if I am so careless."

79, you little goblin, let me be poisoned by your love poison but refused to give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

80. I am your summer ice cream, winter cotton-padded jacket, light bulb in the dark, and bread when you are hungry! I really want to say "I love you"!

4 1. The best friend is always the wallet. When we are thin, we feel extremely distressed.

2. After becoming mothers, many women suddenly understand what "father loves like a mountain"! Shan usually just stays there doing nothing, standing on tiptoe.

If you are willing to tear my heart off layer by layer, you will go to jail and I will tell you.

Never be fat, otherwise, if you are poor, no one will believe you are a beggar.

Now college students want to find a boyfriend and girlfriend when they are full and have nothing to do. I'm great. I don't have enough to eat.

6. All shall be well that ends well for the rich, and the poor become house slaves.

7. Don't use honey traps on me in the future, or I will play with you.

8. Love is complementary. I am not so angry when I think that my boyfriend is bad because I am too good.

We should keep quiet in class, after all, it is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

10. In this life, the first truth I understand is that people are iron and beds are magnets.

1 1. I'm so afraid of heights that I can't bend my head to change money all my life.

12. I'm really worried about getting wet today. I'm afraid I'm cute.

13. I heard girls say that overlap is cute, and I have completely mastered this skill. I, I, I, I stutter.

14. When you stop to have a rest, don't forget that others are still running, so please trip him!

15. As long as you work very hard, one day you will find that you can never close the gap with the rich.

16. If life deceives you, don't be sad, don't be impatient, as long as you are cheated a few times, the habit will become natural.

17. As long as you are willing to work hard, there is nothing in the world that you can't screw up!

18. I didn't know until I worked hard that there were many things, and it was still a waste of time to stick to it.

19. Be a calm person and eat fatter, heavier and steadier.

20. The handsome one is called uncle, and the ugly one is called old driver!

2 1. Boys work hard now and give your beloved girl more money in the future.

22. Sometimes you don't know what despair is without hard work.

After working hard for so long, anyone with a little talent should show some signs of success.

24. As long as it is a stone, it won't shine anywhere, so don't tangle.

5 1, I thought I was decadent, and today I realized that I had scrapped it.

2. The electric fan is really man's best friend. As soon as I asked him if I was ugly, he shook me solemnly all night.

3. Some people can only leave; Some things can only be given up; Some memories can only be buried in my heart; Some pasts can only be forgotten.

4. In love, let your boyfriend be everywhere, let him cook, let him wash dishes, let him wash clothes and make money.

5. Don't go over, because it has already passed; Don't go against reality, because you have to live.

6. Love is as poor as money in a bank card, but loneliness and desire are as silent as loans.

7. You can't wake up a person who pretends to sleep, nor can you be intoxicated with someone who doesn't love you, not the people along the way, and you can't cut corners.

8, blind date, the woman asked me if I had ever been in love before? I went there. I must have talked about it. Narcissism is dominant, supplemented by unrequited love.

9. I will fall in love soon. I don't know who I'm with. I am happy for him first.

10. In front of the counter of Lamian Noodles Store, girls are waiting in line. When she arrived, Master Lamian Noodles asked, Do you want a thick one or a thin one? Girl: I'll eat whatever you pull.

1 1, Instructor: "What made you step onto the stage of good voice." Player: "It's my leg ..."

12, life will make you suffer for a while, and after you get used to it, you will suffer for a lifetime.

13, I just saw a figure like you. I chased like crazy, only remember that there was no you in this city, and I stopped. I put down the brick in my hand and almost hit the wrong person.

14, some people say that life is daily necessities, others say that life is a mess, and I am special. I have been struggling to survive and have never lived.

15, people who have been dissatisfied with their hair style and figure have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that this is a face problem.

16, there are many things that you couldn't figure out at that time. Don't worry. Think about it later, and I won't remember.

17, dead vines and old trees faint, air-conditioned coke watermelon, chasing drama and lying on the sofa, the sun is setting, and the mood is so good that it explodes.

18, I think there must be a lot of people who secretly love me, because for so many years, no one has confessed to me!

19, girlfriend is a foodie. I remember the first time I took her home for dinner, and my mother kept picking up food for her. Finally, she couldn't help it and secretly said to me, "Can you help me with a piece of meat?"

20. Don't always say leave everything to time. Time won't bother to clean up your mess.

2 1, now girls know more and more about medical knowledge! Yesterday, I accosted a girl in the street. After a few words, she concluded: "You are sick!" "

22. If you don't study hard now, you will fill in the blanks in the future. Study hard now, and you will find multiple-choice questions later!

23. Change lanes to the right and turn into a left turn signal. The coach said to me, "Why, confuse the enemy behind?"

I felt sick and went to see a doctor in China. When I felt my pulse, I saw the doctor frowning and asked, "Doctor, how is my pulse?" Doctor: "To tell the truth, it looks ugly."

25. Some people like your face, some people like your voice, some people like your personality, some people like your life, but I am different. I don't like you.

Drink my passion as water, and it will burn you to death one day.

27. I finally realized in tears that some people can't lose weight once they get fat!

28. I don't know if I am blessed. It is said that some people have gained weight, but they pretend not to know.

29. What if I don't want to wash clothes? Just bring a wife. If the daughter-in-law is virtuous, she will wash your clothes. If your daughter-in-law is tough, you should learn to wash clothes.

30. Every time I meet that kind of induction faucet that doesn't work well, I feel like begging.

3 1, people's greatest pain is that they have experienced strong winds and waves, not only did they not see the rainbow, but they also got rheumatism.

32. Taking a courier feels like reuniting with your long-lost flesh and blood, but often after unpacking, you find that the child looks like Lao Wang next door.

33. In the future, I will buy a bigger mobile phone, not for watching videos and playing games, nor for saving face, but for … when I accidentally drop the toilet, my mobile phone will get stuck.

34. The mobile phone didn't ring for a month. I took it to be repaired today. As a result, the maintenance master said that the mobile phone was not broken, but no one called in for more than a month. I knelt down to the master and begged him to stop.

35. Ask for advice: My girlfriend asks me to tie a scarf for her every day when she goes out. I'm not very good at it. What kind of chat-up method can make her talk less nonsense?

36. I forgot to bring my mobile phone when I went out in the morning. When I came home at noon, my mobile phone showed a short message from my mother: Son, you forgot to bring your mobile phone.

37. Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your love and hate.

38. Be modest, listen to other people's opinions, and then carefully write down who has a problem with you.

39. What makes you find that this person can't be intimate? Send a picture of a circle of friends, only P yourself!

40. I was told that my eyes were small before, but I still don't believe it. Finally one day, I was lying on the sofa watching TV. Suddenly, my mother came back and turned off the TV, then quietly tucked me in.

4 1, feelings are sometimes just a person's business, which has nothing to do with anyone. Love or not love can only end by itself.

42. Please cherish the people who are kind to you, or you will miss this one, and you don't know when you will meet another blind person.

43. The child only asks why you ignore me. Don't you like me? Adults are tacitly alienated from each other. -Gigi

44. Money is not really spent, but accompanied by you in another way. It's like buying snacks, and then you get fat and your money gets fat.

45. The teacher didn't show his cards in the final exam, but he really felt that he had taught well.

46. No matter how beautiful your face is, it will grow old one day. I don't think I can afford this loss, so I have never looked good.

47. Many times, I dug a hole myself and jumped in without hesitation. I dug the hole by myself, jumped by myself, and finally I couldn't climb out.

48. People still need to go out for a walk more, otherwise they don't know how comfortable it is to play mobile phones at home.

49. This is often the case in the world. It was painful. After a few years, it's just a memory.

50. A simple child like me never analyzes the history problems of intrigue, nor does he do the math problems that are so scheming!

5 1, I always close my eyes when I cut onions, thinking that I won't cry, but I still cried when I cut my hand.

52. Ma Yun once said: A person's career is inversely proportional to his appearance. I can't bear to look in the mirror. It seems that I am doomed to accomplish nothing in my life.

53. There is nothing that can't pass, only the mood that can't pass.

54. If you like someone, you must express it and you can't be rejected. You really think you're a fairy.

55. I found that I can put a girl to sleep. As soon as I sent the message, the girl said I was going to bed.

Be my girlfriend, and I will protect you from my other girlfriends.

57. Making money is an ability, and spending money is a technology. My ability is limited, but my technology is quite high.

58. Once my dream was to get rich, now my dream is to get rid of poverty.

59. Be sure to remember those who chat with you late into the night. It is because of them that you stay up late, resulting in heavy dark circles and poor skin.

60. When you meet someone you like, you must pursue it bravely, so that you can know that there will never be more than one person who refuses you.

6 1. If poverty limits your imagination, why can you think of so many ways to save money?

62. If life deceives you, don't panic, take out your beauty camera and deceive life!

63. I like you so much that you will die if you like me?

64. Do you know why you are single? Because when you are ugly, you still dislike others' ugliness.

65. Seeing others working so hard, so diligent and so energetic on the road to success, ask yourself, don't you want to be a stumbling block to them?

66. I found a thief at home in the middle of the night and stayed in bed. I also expect him to find some money in my house.

67. There are two ways to forget someone, time and new love. If you still can't forget it, there are only two reasons: the time is not long enough and the new love is not good enough.

68. You never know without a fitness card. It turns out that laziness can overcome the love of money.

69. Although twisted melon is not sweet, sometimes I don't care whether it is sweet or not. I just want to screw it off. I'll be happy if I screw it off.

70. Interesting girls are single, because they can support the boring years alone, and it is difficult to find someone more interesting than themselves. I hope you will walk well in the future. I will take the bus.

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