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Wonderful classic humorous copy
1. When I was young, my mother kindly said to me: Good boy, if you learn this skill, you will never starve to death. So my mother taught me to eat. ...

Some parents educate their children. There is no scientific method, no rules and regulations, and it depends entirely on touch, such as my dad!

Today, I am waiting in line for dinner. A girl cut in front of me. I looked good and said, "Beauty, do you have a boyfriend?" My sister said "no" weakly. I said, "If not, don't you dare to jump the queue. Go back! "

Who can help me calculate? When can I have a lot of money? God replied: When your family went to your grave. ...

Real brothers, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how long we haven't contacted, even if we changed our mobile phone numbers several times, we can always find you when we want to borrow money.

6. Don't talk nonsense after drinking. Don't cry, don't make trouble, don't brag, don't call and don't send WeChat indiscriminately. Those who can do these five points, you drink a hairy wine and waste money!

7. Nothing can't be solved by eating a big meal, nothing can't be forgotten by sleeping in, and nothing can't be conveyed by red envelopes.

From today on, as long as they are my friends, anyone who has no money will reply to me, and I can tell you how I live without money.

9. Senior high school principal: After the cleaning this year, all senior one students are responsible. Thank you! Next year, it will be the second year of high school. I hope you are serious and responsible

10. Man: Before getting engaged, be obedient like a grandson. After engagement, learn to talk back like a son. Give orders like Lao Zi after marriage.

When a person doesn't have beautiful skin, he will mistakenly think that he has an interesting soul. Actually, being ugly and having an interesting soul are two different things.

Twelve. I asked a child to dance, and he said weakly, "I can't." I said, "Boys should be confident and bold". As a result, he shouted, "I won't."

13. How important is your interest? I bought a smart washing machine for my mother, and I didn't know how to use it after teaching it n times. Later, I bought her a mahjong machine, which can not only be used, but also repaired!

14. What is friendship? I changed my mobile phone number four times after graduation. Nobody told me, but my classmates contacted me when they got married!

15. Find an umbrella friend, female, with an umbrella, and I won't buy it for you. I will give you an umbrella after class every day. Recently, the sun is too poisonous, so I'm embarrassed to take an umbrella, for fear that my classmates will call me a bitch!

15. "Don't ask me if I am single dog in the future. It is against heaven for us immortals to fall in love with mortals! " "Hey, can single dog still evolve into a roaring dog now?"

17. I want to be a degenerate rich woman. I am addicted to men's sex all day, getting nothing for nothing, learning nothing, falling in love without injury, and eating too much is not fat.

18. My mother beat me up for being naughty at home. I met an old man outside when I ran away from home. The old man looked at me and said, "Hey, how old are the children now?" I was annoyed when I heard it: "Grandpa, look clearly, this is a slipper mark ..."

Nineteen. Some people will eat hard when they are unhappy. Unlike me, I eat hard when I'm unhappy.

20. Learning is my wife and my mobile phone is my concubine. I often think of concubines when I am with my wife, and I feel guilty about my wife when I am with concubines. I am not a qualified husband. 2 1. The northeast girl is the most polite girl I have ever seen. They will ask your advice on anything, such as "I'm going to cut you off, do you believe it?" I can chop you to death in a few minutes, you know? "Don't ask me how I know, my face still hurts!

Twenty-two The reason why I smoke is simple: My grandfather smokes, and so does my father, so it's my turn not to burn incense.

Twenty-three Girls who don't work hard will have endless stalls and shops in the vegetable market. Hard-working girls, you won't have time to shop, because you can only work overtime and take out some food to visit Taobao!

24. Some people can look good after makeup, some people can look good after plastic surgery, and some people can only look good after being reborn.