Lost independence and rebirth
According to the Ministry of Health's 20 10 China Health Statistics Yearbook, there are 76,000 newly-added childless families every year, and there are more than one million childless families in China. Recently, demographer Fuxian Yi further inferred from the census data that180,000 only children in China will die before the age of 25. Before long,100000 families will become "families who have lost their independence" in China. Where to go for those who lost their independence in their later years is a heavy question mark of people's livelihood in front of the whole society. When most people who have lost their independence will spend the rest of their lives in loneliness, four years ago, 60-year-old Sheng Hailin took the risk of rebirth after losing his only daughter, hoping to appease the trauma after losing independence.
Sad loss of independence
Although I have moved several times, there is still a picture of my eldest daughter in the grid leading to the bedroom aisle of my new home. "This is a struggle." Sheng Hailin sees these photos almost every day. Although every time I see these photos, she still has some heartache. But with her growing wisdom, she gradually came out and even told her sister's story.
Time returned to the early morning of the sixth day of the first month of 2009. Soon after getting up with her husband, Sheng Hailin suddenly heard the bad news, and her daughter and son-in-law died of gas poisoning in Chizhou. When the old couple stumbled to the hospital to see the body of their daughter's son-in-law, they could no longer restrain their sadness and burst into tears.
1980, Tingting, the only daughter, was born, and the couple tried their best to make her grow up happily. When her daughter was 7 years old, Sheng Hailin bought her a piano with 5000 yuan accumulated for many years, which was astronomical at that time. After Tingting went to primary school, her husband worked in other places, and she and her daughter lived alone. The relationship between mother and daughter is very deep. 1998, Tingting was admitted to the university and had to live on campus. In addition, military training is very hard, and she is particularly homesick. She cried on the phone. Although Sheng Hailin was in pain, she insisted on her daughter with tears in her eyes.
In 2005, after Sheng Hailin retired, he pinned all the meaning of life on his daughter. In September 2008, after her daughter got married, Sheng Hailin thought she could enjoy her old age. Unexpectedly, in the Spring Festival of 2009, Tingting followed her husband back to her hometown in Chizhou, and the young couple never came back because of gas poisoning.
The sudden death of her daughter made Sheng Hailin feel very sad and once lost the courage to live. Relatives and friends advised her to adopt a child, but in her opinion, her own child can't replace her daughter. In order to comfort her, some relatives and friends suggested that she should have another one, and if not, she should have IVF surgery, which made Sheng Hailin have the idea of giving it a try.
Adventure rebirth
"Wisdom wisdom, do you know what it was like when you were born? Hui Hui is as big as a kitten ... "Sheng Hailin often holds her two daughters in her arms and tells them stories about the birth of her little sister. Her words are full of warmth and sweetness. But children can't know that Sheng Hailin has suffered a lot for wisdom and wisdom.
When 60-year-old Sheng Hailin decided to have another child, as a doctor, she knew that her decision was dangerous, but her yearning for her dead daughter finally strengthened her decision.
In March 2009, Sheng Hailin called a friend who was a doctor in Beijing. A friend consulted a famous obstetrician in the hospital to discuss the feasibility of IVF. However, experts agree that Sheng Hailin is too old and there is no precedent in China, so she is advised not to take risks. Sheng Hailin refused to give up and went to an expert in Nanjing, but she was rejected. In July 2009, Sheng Hailin found a doctor in the Reproductive Center of PLA 105 Hospital. They were moved by Sheng Hailin's thinking about women, and they agreed to do IVF surgery with a try attitude.
Since then, Sheng Hailin has taken medicine and injections every day according to the doctor's requirements. After three months of medication, Sheng Hailin's physical function recovered very well, and her menstruation also recovered, which surprised the doctors. On the morning of June 65438+1October 65438+March, 2009, Sheng Hailin had an IVF operation, and three successfully conceived embryos were transplanted into Sheng Hailin.
Pregnancy in October is an extremely difficult test for a 60-year-old man. Sheng Hailin understood more and more why experts refused to perform IVF surgery for her. Sheng Hailin experienced unimaginable dangers and pains during her pregnancy, such as massive bleeding, systemic pain and edema.
"The big one is 3.7 kg and the small one is 2.9 kg." 20 10 at 9: 05 on may 25th, a pair of twin daughters were born with wisdom. Sheng Hailin broke the birth restriction and became the oldest parturient in China.
Fed Up
2065438+01At noon on September 8, Hefei Xinqiao International Airport, Sheng Hailin came back from Kunming, stepped out of the hall, immediately opened his arms and hugged the child excitedly. She hasn't seen the child for more than 20 days.
Chongqing, Urumqi, Shandong Weihai, Dongying, Dalian, Wuhan, Yantai, Qinhuangdao, Handan, Shenzhen and Guangzhou are all the work schedules of Sheng Hailin in June 5438+065438+ 10. "A place is as little as one day, and as many as three or four days. I often have no time to eat in order to catch the plane. I'm only at home a few days a month. I am 64 years old and almost fight for my children. "
Without wisdom and cleverness, with her and her husband's salary, the old couple should be very rich in their later years. Sheng Hailin began to earn money when the child was 100 days old. In just over three years, I have almost traveled all over the country. However, Sheng Hailin has no other way. At her age, she has no physical strength to take care of the children, so she can only give it to the nanny. "One nanny is full-time and the other is an hourly worker, spending more than 10,000 yuan a month on children and nannies." Sheng Hailin said, "The only worry is how long I can persist. I only hope that my children can have food, clothing and education like normal children before they reach adulthood. "
Maybe it's because she spends too little time with her children. Now Zhihui prefers her aunt, which makes her feel a little guilty. "I also try to tell my children why I gave birth to them and let them know all the truth from an early age. I believe they will understand me when they grow up. "
It has been four years since I first met Sheng Hailin on May 25th, 20 10. In communication, I witnessed wisdom and wisdom growing up from babies and becoming more and more lovely. In the communication, I was deeply moved by the dribs and drabs of Sheng Hailin's maternal love. Giving birth to a child at the age of 60 and four years' efforts to cultivate wisdom have not only created the miracle of the oldest pregnant woman in China, but also the miracle of maternal love.
Sheng Hailin is actually an ordinary person. She and her husband chose to be reborn after losing their independence. At first, they hoped to get rid of their mental difficulties. Reality is always reality. They should not only face the secular vision, but also be responsible for their children's eating, drinking and sleeping, and even their growth. They are old and struggling, but they also find a spiritual comfort, even sweetness, from wisdom and wisdom.
At present, "having a second child alone" has become a hot topic, and the family planning policy has been relaxed for 34 years. If time goes back 33 years, if there is no family planning policy, if it is not the accident, Sheng Hailin may not choose to have children at the age of 60, not to mention that at this age, she is still busy with her children's future life.
However, among many families who have lost their independence, Sheng Hailin is just an example, and her practice is not exemplary. "The dead are gone, and those who come can catch up." What the state, the government and the whole society can do is to face up to the existence of this group, give them practical care and let them really "get rid of".