"I have a disease called depression.
I don't know when to start and when to end.
I only know that I am very tired and miserable!
Many people regard this disease as fragile and hard to get over. What I want to say is: no!
I have never been a fragile person, just like people who don't drink often get liver cancer. There are not many incentives, so it happened.
For so long, I can say that I have been living in a nightmare! No, worse than a nightmare!
It's like having an invisible hand all the time, dragging my soul out of my body bit by bit. Then day after day, drag it into the abyss.
Those feelings of sadness and despair appeared inexplicably, but they kept pestering me like maggots gnawing at bones, and I couldn't get rid of them. Sleepless night after night, wandering on the edge of life and death every minute. There are always two voices hovering in my mind. While saying: die, you will be free when you die. On the other hand, you can't be so selfish and irresponsible. Therefore, I live in this kind of tears every day until today.
Every time I see a car, I want to chop myself up whether I hit a knife or not, and I want to throw up when I walk into a crowd.
Because of responsibility, I can only use my little will to fight against the instinct of my body. Pretending to smile in front of everyone, the clouds are light and the wind is light. It's like saying that you are depressed before you show it as a joke.
I try my best to play a so-called normal person. Sure enough, acting is an innate talent. I acted like it, and everyone hid it well.
It's not that I haven't talked about it, that I haven't tried to save myself, and that I haven't tried to ask for help. However, it is either regarded as a joke or difficult for me.
Maybe a change of scenery would be nice? Maybe just a trip? Maybe it's good to dance once.
I stay in a different place, I travel, I bungee jump, but then what? Is there any other way? I don't think so. Is it time to give up?
I tried again and again, and I looked again and again. Change cities, change jobs, and find yourself something to do. Running, traveling and recruiting, I'm really tired of lying to myself. Acting day after day makes me so tired!
The results of this military inspection told me that it was useless. What did you do for nothing? Every day is like a walking corpse, confused. Finally, I can't hold on.
Finally I collapsed!
If you are lucky enough to read these words, Liu, I want to tell you that your success has pushed me to the wall step by step. Isn't killing people a sense of accomplishment? I hope you live a long life. I hope you won't dream about me when you wake up at midnight.
Grandma, I'm unfilial. I asked you to send a white-haired man to a black-haired man at your age. I'm sorry! Please blame me and hate me,
It's best to forget me at once, but just don't feel sorry for me, I don't deserve it.
I really want to hear you hum a lullaby when I was a child, but there is no chance. Grandma, please take care. I didn't feel pain when I left, really.
Mom, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Give birth to me and support me. If you die, you have to bear tens of thousands of tuition loans. Don't come to me, find a good man and spend your life with him. You are so young and beautiful, you deserve a better life.
I don't want to be a drag on you, even if I can't work and live normally, what's the use? It's unbearable for you and the whole family. You will always live in the shadow of my loss of control.
Don't think that a disease can be cured, and you don't know how much money you have to toss away to wait for a slim result.
I know my status very well.
I just want to stop something more serious from happening before it gets out of hand.
I don't want to worry you anymore. Forgive me and take care of yourself!
Yifeng Li is a big boy, and I believe he can take responsibility. He will make you proud, unlike me.
Don't come to me, just let me bury here. It's beautiful here, and I will find peace here. Don't be sad, don't blame yourself, I don't want a funeral, just pretend nothing happened.
I don't want to go through those farce. Give Yifeng Li money to study. Please promise me!
In the last few days of my decision-making, it was a relaxing day that I hadn't had for a long time. Jia, Jing, Hao Hao, Shu and Xiao Hu and I thank you for your company. I feel happy and relaxed from the bottom of my heart. You make me feel warm at the end of my life.
Ki, I'm sorry to put you under psychological pressure for so long. I can't do what I promised, so don't wait for me.
Juaner, I can't attend your wedding or give you a bride price. I believe you will be very happy!
All the people who love me and I love, you should be good. Don't be sad, don't cry, time is the most ruthless weapon, and one day I will disappear into your memory without a trace. So, don't care too much about this matter, I wish you all the best!
I hope everyone can pay more attention to this group of depression in the future, and I hope the world will be more kind and beautiful and less harmful.
The scenery of Snake Cliff is really good. The sea of clouds is surging and beautiful, just like a fairyland. I don't regret burying my bones here.
Buddhist scripture says: people who commit suicide can't enter reincarnation, which is quite good. They don't have to feel these pains and helplessness, and they don't have to be lonely anymore!
Dad, I'm looking for you!
Everyone in the world, this life, I have come to this step, goodbye!
Li Yiling's masterpiece?
20 18.9.4 in Emei mountain "
Once the news was released, it aroused great concern from all walks of life. This time, the onlookers were not indifferent or noisy, but mostly sympathetic and sorry. However, no matter how the people present comforted her, she still couldn't keep her desperate and helpless heart. She didn't complain to her relatives and friends, only warm concern and deep guilt, but she hated a man named Liu. Maybe the reality has given her too many blows, maybe she has suffered some unbearable injuries, maybe she has been trying to save herself for responsibility, maybe she has been trying to get rid of herself for survival, but she still can't get rid of depressed emotions in the end, or she chose to end her pain and free herself in this extreme way.
Depression, what is it? How terrible is it? Why can't so many seemingly powerful minds escape the curse of depression?
1985 65438 On May 4th, Barbara Yung, a famous Hong Kong actress, committed suicide by turning on the gas at home because of depression, at the age of 26. She played the eccentric Huang Rong in The Legend of the Condor Heroes.
On April 1 2003, Leslie Cheung fell out of control from the fitness center on the 24th floor of Mandarin Oriental Hotel and was rushed to Queen Mary Hospital. She was examined by a doctor at the age of 46 and died before being admitted to hospital.
On June 5438+1October 3 1 day, 2009, Chen Lin, a female singer who became famous for her masterpiece Love is Love, committed suicide by jumping off a building due to depression. In this way, the former diva female singer ended her life at the age of 39.
20 17 On July 20th, Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington hanged himself at his home in Los Angeles, California, USA, at the age of 4 1.
Depression, also known as depressive personality, is characterized by persistent depression, decreased interest, loss of happiness, constant self-blame and inferiority, and negative thoughts of world-weariness. They often like to be alone, are sentimental, and often hide in places where no one is there to secretly hurt their spirits. The so-called depression is mostly an unavoidable pessimism. It likes to criticize itself with other people's problems and can't find the happiness and meaning of life. It is an extreme way to seek liberation.
In recent years, with the improvement of the quality of life, modern people have not brought more happiness and pleasure, but countless pressures that cannot be broken away and deeper loneliness that no one can understand.
Nowadays, the number of patients with depression in China has increased significantly. According to statistics, there are more than 26 million patients with depression in China, of whom 10%- 15% may eventually choose to commit suicide. The suicide rate of patients with depression is 20 times higher than that of the general population. These data are shocking.
Most people with depression can't feel the warmth and fun of this world, which often comes from the numbness and ignorance of people around them. People with depression are all over the world, from all walks of life, and are usually not noticed by people around them.
In recent years, some tragedies caused by depression have occurred frequently. Most of them are extremely helpless after being forced to no way back by reality and indifference. Not being understood is the inducement, the trauma that can't be healed is the fuse, and the indifference and violent injury of the surrounding environment is the last straw to crush the camel.
2017 65438+1At about 20 o'clock on the evening of October 6, a mother who was only 3 1 year-old jumped from the 13 building with her two-year-old son "Teemo" and daughter "Eva" one week before her birthday. Before she died, she left a 10,000-word suicide note, describing the disaster caused by this tragic marriage from different perspectives. Facing the incomprehension and harshness of her husband's family, facing the derailment and indifference of her lover, she plunged herself into the abyss and could never walk out again.
I used to know the despair of people when depression came, and I have seen people around me die of depression. Their emotions have never been understood and can't be taken seriously. They cry and wander alone in the abyss of loneliness. That kind of feeling seems to be a kind of bone-eroding pain, which torments people's fragile nerves all the time and makes the soul restless. They need a way out, a painless way of life. But how many people can find this way?
One day in the autumn of 200 1 2000, a junior two teacher in our school committed suicide by jumping off a building because of depression. He is an excellent and handsome teacher, and no one knows what led him to this step. In the eyes of the world, he has a life that most people envy, including an excellent wife who is also a teacher and a lively and lovely daughter. Both of them have excellent reputation and are loved by everyone at school, but in the end, he still can't resist the depressed emotions and make the people who love him hate the pain for life.
In February 2008, students in my friend's dormitory committed suicide by jumping off a building due to depression. That night, his mother invited him to a five-star hotel for dinner. After eating, he jumped off the 24th floor of the hotel and ended his 24-year-old life. He lived with his mother since childhood in a single-parent family. His mother is an executive of the enterprise and is very busy with her work. She usually neglects to take care of him. His personality is very closed and pessimistic. He used to say before his death: "People should not live too long. For me, 30 years old is the limit. " So, that night, he chose to jump down beside his mother, which became a pain she could never ignore.
Death is often the last choice for people with depression. They left with deep love and pain for the world in an inescapable mood.
However, death is only the end of the body, not the liberation and redemption of the soul, and the judgment of life and value will not end with life and death. Only by letting go of our obsession can our hearts belong to heaven. In the face of the hardships given by life, we should kiss the pain of fate in the name of love, follow our hearts and go forward to find the real utopia in our hearts. Only by letting go of obsession and always holding the truest love and yearning for life can we get the permanent peace of mind and the real liberation of life.
Between heaven and earth, it's just a blink of an eye. In the face of pain, giving up is not liberation, but letting go is wisdom. In the face of life, we must cherish it in order to live up to our mission.