Our ability to cope with emotions can also become strong and flexible through training such as fitness. When you are subjected to various shocks and pressures, you can better bear, tolerate and accept, and you can independently restore inner peace. Moreover, training can make it easier for us to cope with all kinds of emotions, thus alleviating, reversing and meeting deep-seated needs.
The seven-step training method is mainly to help ordinary people without mental illness solve and improve their emotional problems. Specific adaptation symptoms are:
1. When we think of someone or something in the past, our hearts are ups and downs, sad, uneasy, angry and uncomfortable;
2. When we feel uneasy about what happened today;
When we are anxious about the future.
At this time, we can use the seven-step emotional combing method to understand our true self.
Step 1: Take care of yourself.
First stop, take a deep breath and tell our emotions (anger, anxiety, sadness, injustice, irritability, disappointment, desire).
Then locate the body and find that uncomfortable emotions are most obvious in that organ part of the body (pain, tension, oppression, numbness, depression, nausea).
Finally, focus on the uncomfortable position of the body and soften, appease and allow it.
Softening: Put your hand on the uncomfortable part of your body to make it soft.
Soothes: Soothes the painful soul like a baby, giving the language of acceptance, support and love.
Allow: no confrontation, no criticism, everything goes with the flow.
Step 2: Explore your real needs.
Emotion is the result of unsatisfied needs. We can close our eyes and ask ourselves:
1. What do I really want behind this incident that caused my mood swings? What exactly do I need?
2. Does this incident bring me sadness, anger, sadness, guilt, fear, shame or disappointment?
3. Why do I feel this way?
What do I really want?
5. What needs are not met, which will lead to such emotions?
6. What is the other person's demand?
Step 3: Emotional Management ABC
Answer: Restore the true story of the incident, without comment or emotion.
B: Interpret it according to the different feelings and emotions you bring.
C: It can be analyzed according to the order, behavior and result of emotions.
Step 4: Talk to the wise.
Choose a smart person. A wise man can be a concrete person, a religious figure we believe in, anyone who makes us feel safe, trustworthy and reliable, or a bright and imaginative creature.
Do a meditation to reconcile and communicate with your inner child.
check
When checking, it is best to follow three principles:
1. Respect each other and benefit others.
2. check directly, don't innuendo.
3. For each goal, be prepared for the worst result.
Inspection is not to vent one's emotions, express one's dissatisfaction, punish the wrong behavior of the other party, and achieve one's own goals. Inspection is a habit of effective communication, which is to calmly understand each other's needs, express their own needs and explore how to meet each other's needs in the future.
Step 6: Make a repetitive action plan (operable, quantifiable and executable).
To make an action plan and avoid falling into emotional difficulties again, we need a concrete, quantifiable, achievable, operable and timetable plan. Finally, action.
Step 7: Harvest summary
For the seven-step method, it is not enough to know what it is and why. The most important thing is to really practice in real life. If you don't practice, there will be no real effect and function. No matter how many truths and methods we know, if we don't practice, practice and act, it will be zero.
Therefore, we must practice regularly, so that we will control our emotions more and more, the times of losing control will be less and less, the duration will be shorter and shorter, and our hearts will become stronger and stronger!