"After all, only when you become outstanding can you really attract outstanding men." She said.
I am very happy to hear her say this, which is what I always hope more people will understand. There are indeed some methods and strategies in love that can help you learn to know people and avoid detours, or better business relationships, but long-term and stable marriage and love ultimately depend on the balance of values between the two sides.
However, the girl said:
"But I'm still a little confused. I always feel that there are too many excellent girls and too few excellent boys around me. If I don't want to be wronged, I have to compete with many girls and get dumped accidentally ... "
I asked her, how can I see that there are many excellent girls around me?
"I have a lot around me. You see, their daily life is like this. "
She sent me a few screenshots, all of which are the circle of friends of girls around me. In order to protect privacy, I won't let them out. I found several similar network diagrams:
Probably life photos such as fitness, photography, travel and baking.
"I am eager to see others live so exquisitely and elegantly. I feel that I am not good enough ... Is there any way to improve my competitiveness?"
There are some methods, but before that, I hope girls will define a standard and what is "excellent".
When I first went to college, I met a senior. Her circle of friends is extremely colorful. Every month, I see her traveling to a strange city. I often take photos, exercise and dance, and study coffee and red wine.
It is no exaggeration to say that she was once an unattainable goddess in my heart.
It is hard for me to imagine that a girl one or two years older than me can master so many skills and manage her life so beautifully. So once I didn't even dare to talk to her, I could only praise her silently in her circle of friends.
But then I went to many places myself, started to get in touch with fitness, and learned something about the culture of coffee and wine. I find these things look beautiful, but it doesn't take much time and energy to reach the entry level. Anyone who wants to learn can learn fur quickly.
"Excellence" is not like this The real "Excellence" is exclusive, and only a few people can meet the standards, which can be counted as "Excellence".
Some people think that there are few excellent men and many excellent girls, because for men, the standard of "Excellence" is very strict and only a few people can achieve it. And some girls will think that it is "excellent" to cultivate a few elegant hobbies and live a refined petty bourgeoisie life. This standard itself has problems.
Such "Excellence" is difficult to create value, let alone "exclusivity".
When I understand this, I still appreciate that senior's attitude towards life, but I no longer think that she is excellent or even "unattainable".
Her "goddess aura" also gradually disappeared.
Therefore, whether staying in the "hobby" life show can attract a man depends on the level of this man.
If this man doesn't know enough about your hobbies and doesn't know much, he may be confused, but once he finds out that your hobbies are actually studious, your position in his heart may be affected.
What you have to do is to choose one of many hobbies that you can specialize in, and then turn it into a "specialty" to show it.
Take the photography road of a friend of mine as an example.
This is a photo he took when he first learned photography. This kind of photo is actually good, but most people just need to contact photography for a month or two to learn basic composition and light and shadow techniques, which belongs to the category of "hobby".
This one was taken by him three years later. The gap is obvious. The former can only be called "playing with a camera" at most, while the latter is "being able to photograph". The former is a hobby, while the latter is a specialty.
Of course, if your skills have reached such a level, even if you don't often bask in your circle of friends, you won't lack the opportunity to show it, and it's easy to find people and circles with similar interests, so as to meet more high-quality boys.
You see, there are not many outstanding boys, but they are waiting for outstanding girls who can really stand out like them.
They all look forward to seeing you different.