"Mom, I don't like pudding. Call me baby. 」
"Why do you want to call you baby? You have grown up. " Yes! I can hardly sit in the stroller! There are more and more people in the elevator before you put your feet in.
"It doesn't matter, I just like you to call me baby. Dad, grandparents also call me baby! 」
Her mother ignored her again, but this girl's language ability is really excellent, articulate, articulate, and don't forget to bring some tears when coquetry. If it weren't for that childish voice, it would be like 15, a beautiful 6-year-old demon talking to her boyfriend. Oh, my God! I suddenly felt that she needed to be beaten.
Many mothers should be very disapproving when they see this, thinking that I should be a psychiatrist! It's just that I'm a little crazy. "Children are children! 」
Mom, please call me "baby"! The true story of a baby with narcissistic personality.
Once, my patient brought her 5-year-old son to the clinic. She said to the child, "Baby! I just want to talk to the doctor. Wait for me outside first. I advised her not to call the child "baby", and she told me the same thing: "Why not? Children are children! 」
"But when he grows up and leaves home to study and work in the workplace, who will treat him as a treasure? So how will he adapt? 」
Many mothers must think I am too strict, but a 5-year-old child still has 20 years to go to work. If it hurts, of course it is now! Then let me tell a story about a baby who has been raised for 20 years.
There is an overly loving mother behind the baby.
"Baby! Get up! Going to kindergarten! 」
"blare! Hmm ... "The five-year-old boy turned over and went back to sleep.
It's only half past eight in the morning, and the kindergarten is on the first floor downstairs. The mother who is distressed by the baby is afraid that he has not slept enough, and wait for another half hour!
"Baby! Get up! It's time for kindergarten! We're gonna be late! It should be 9 o'clock. I'm already late.
"Baby! Get up! 10, everyone is singing. " 1 hour later.
When the baby really goes to the kindergarten downstairs, it will probably be 1 1 in the morning. The baby wake-up drama, almost every day, lasts for two years, with winter and summer holidays as national holidays.
The primary school is also very close to home, except for quarreling with the daughter of the president of the Alumni Association, and occasionally being beaten by the teacher for not handing in homework, which is generally safe.
By junior high school, this cute baby who looks like a hybrid has eaten 90 kilograms, but it is less than 170 cm. One of the reasons for being overweight is that he loves to eat since he was a child and is good at eating. Even if he is stuffed with food and still has food in his hand, he has to look around to see where there is something delicious. It doesn't matter if you spit it out. Wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and continue to eat (because there is food on your hand, you can only use the back of your hand).
However, the baby's mother is also very powerful. Despite his huge figure, she still feeds him five meals a day-breakfast, Chinese food, afternoon tea and dinner, plus a snack for fear that his baby will be hungry. In recent years, my father has always had an idea in his heart, "Oh, my God! I never thought in my life that I would raise a child of 100 kg. Fortunately, when I graduated from junior high school, I only had 97 kilograms. Although I am only 3 kilograms short, the feeling of two digits and three digits is much worse.
Mom, please call me "baby"! The father of a narcissistic baby accidentally received a phone call from a junior high school teacher.
When I was in junior high school, my father once got a call from the teacher, because this baby was usually handled by my mother. The father who received the phone call for the first time had a little Mao Mao in his heart: "Teacher, what can I do for the children?" 」
"Nothing special! Dad, don't worry, it's like this. Your child was warned 13 times this semester for being late for handing in his homework. 」
The teacher paused, probably waiting for the following? Maybe my father was in charge of a pharmaceutical factory at that time, and his habitual reaction was to expect the solution after hearing the report from his subordinates, so my father said, "So, then what?" 」
The teacher on the other end of the phone seems a little overwhelmed, probably expecting to hear parents like "Really?" The child is so naughty that the teacher is very worried. Excuse me, what should I do? "Wait", and then what? This indifferent reply should not be in the expected response. (Actually, I'll tell you a trick, "Then what? Super effective against fraud groups. Speaking of the third time, the other party promised to hang up. )
Actually! Apart from the fact that Dad is so cool, the more important reason is that because of this baby, Dad always says no (the baby ignores you) and scolds him (the mother will be reluctant to talk too much, and Dad will be in trouble). What's more, he can't fight, which is 100 Jin! I am 20 Jin more than my father, and my arms are very thick. What if I fight back?
"Well, according to the regulations, he will be a demerit several times. Do you want to come to school to do labor during the summer vacation? Probably her father let her down, and the teacher said the real purpose angrily. I probably thought to myself, "there is no father in the world who is ashamed to ignore his teacher." Maybe he needs labor more than children. 」
I didn't expect my father to be more cruel "At first I thought you wanted to discuss with me why the children were late and didn't hand in their homework. What do you think? " what can I do? To tell the truth, I don't care much about how many times he was warned, and how many times he was slightly warned! What I want to say is, what educational purpose can the school achieve by letting a group of unruly children gather to do labor? When the teacher couldn't speak, dad hung up the phone. Cool!
Later, this baby did badly in the senior high school entrance examination, and followed in the footsteps of his brother who failed in the exam last year and went to the United States to attend high school! Anyway, both of them were born in the United States, took American citizenship, and their grandparents are also in the United States, which is very convenient. In fact, the baby has already made an abacus, and he is not studying at all.
Mom, please call me "baby"! Children with "narcissistic personality" face the reality of studying in the United States.
The baby left his mother in Taiwan Province Province, so he was not late for school. Because he missed the school bus, no one would drive him to school. He had to walk for more than 20 minutes, especially in snowy winter. Once I handed in my homework one day late and found that the consequences of affecting my grades were very serious. I dare not hand in my homework on time from now on. However, I still don't like sports and don't go out. The habit of surfing the internet indoors remains the same, and overweight children will be discriminated against in the United States. It is not easy to make friends. Might as well hide at home.
By the end of his junior year, the department required him to finish his internship before graduating, but he never joined a club or worked, and his resume was questioned and rejected. Only then did he realize that there was a big problem. In the past, the baby's life could not be lived at will. He crammed for the last time and went to apply for a fast food restaurant to start his first job. But even this would not be enough I still have to rely on my father to help me find a relationship and find a summer internship. Finally, Good Dog Transportation applied for an inspection internship in a food factory, got a salary, and finally graduated.
At this time, he told his father the truth: "In fact, I didn't study hard before. What do you think of your study? " ! Students are so stupid that their classes are very simple. "Of course, this father knows that only the baby and the brother can play chess, but almost all of them can go down to the upper level. How can their grades be so poor? It's not "baby disease" Recently, Bao Bei suddenly realized that her figure is very important and tried to lose 20 kilograms. Before returning to Taiwan Province Province for vacation, he asked if there was a gym nearby. Now he will go there three times a week.
I can't work hard at ordinary times, and I have a father who is full of psychology and pedagogy theory (my father is high flyers from the School of Psychology, with the first average score and a certificate). At this time, I have tried my best to:
1. The baby has grown up and is no longer a baby living in his own world.
2. I can finally raise a dinosaur weighing over 100 without worrying about myself.
You should worry less about his future in your life.
At this point in the story, there is no need to keep suspense. I am the father and "Bao Bao" is my youngest son. When I was a child, I was surrounded by a strong maternal love, just like wearing a "golden bell iron cloth shirt" and "Empress Dowager Cixi's yellow jacket". I can only watch and shake my head, but I can't touch it. It was not until something happened in his life and a certain moment came that he realized that it was impossible to hide in the world he cherished, and the moment I was waiting for was like Xue Baochuan who had been in the cold kiln for 18.
Half a year before graduation, he once told me that a friend asked him if he wanted to open a teahouse in Taipei after graduation, so that office workers living in his nest could have a place to drink tea after work and then go home to sleep. If they succeed, they can join in. Hearing the anonymous fire, I immediately came out and called him an idiot. This kind of work was left in Taiwan Province Province and can be done after graduating from high school. Why did I spend so much money to send him to high school and university in America? It should be the first time that I yelled at him, and he looked very wronged. Nuo Nuo explained that I also called him "ㄙㄠ" and asked him to write me a plan to analyze the cost and profit and the uniqueness of joining. He is also a good boy. He wrote a piece of paper and sent it to me the next day. The final conclusion is: "Dad, I know I was wrong. I can't do this business, but don't call me stupid, okay? " 」
How many treasures are there in Taiwan Province Province?
In fact, I have really seen too many "baby diseases" in the clinic. The most outrageous case is that my grandson is in the third grade of primary school, and grandma feeds him every day, dresses him and bathes him, which is too much. I saw a similar report in the news the other day, and I couldn't help sighing how many treasures there are in Taiwan Province Province. Do these caring elders know that when a baby enters the society, which boss will treat him as a treasure? A maladjusted baby may become a soldier in the workplace all his life, living in a hell of "pride and narcissism" and "failure and frustration". At this time, he can buy "annoying courage" and maybe be more talented.
Even the very rich babies at home, who are addicted to gambling, drugs and sex, become horrible lovers, get drunk and kill people, still appear in our news. Poor mother and wet nurse (sorry, I'm not sexist, it's all on TV) always protect the baby, crying and saying, "Our children have been very good since childhood, and it's all the fault of bad friends. He will never do anything bad. " "A baby's life, a lifetime of troubles, even to raise him for a lifetime, what's worse, to lose millions or even hundreds of millions.
Mom, please call me "baby"! Children with narcissistic personality lack the ability to reflect and can't bear hardships.
Think about what you would think of yourself if you were called "baby" or "baby" when you were a child. What kind of treatment will you ask for? Have you reflected on yourself? Do you respect the feelings of others? Isn't "baby" itself the center of the world? Who needs someone else? The so-called narcissistic personality, according to the diagnostic criteria of psychiatry, has the following characteristics:
Examination of narcissistic personality traits
□ 1. A sense of arrogance that feels important, such as exaggerating achievements and talents. Although their performance is average, they think they are superior and hope others will agree with them.
□ 2. Believe in endless success, power, beauty, or dream of ideal love, work, career, etc.
□3. Believe that he (she) is "special" and unique, and only other special or high-ranking people can understand it.
□4. Need excessive praise.
□5. Think you are privileged, unreasonably expect you to have special treatment, or others will automatically obey his or her expectations.
□6. Being used in interpersonal relationships, such as using others to achieve their own goals.
□7. Lack of empathy: unwillingness to identify or identify with the emotional needs of others.
□8. Always be jealous of others or think others are jealous of him or her.
□9. Behavior or attitude showing arrogance and arrogance.
As long as the above five characteristics (or above) are met, it is highly suspected that this person's narcissism has seriously affected his life, work or interpersonal relationship. Let's take a look at those children who are regarded as "babies":
□ 1. Their parents often think that his "baby" is special and unique.
I hope my "baby" has the privilege, if not, I will help to get it.
□3. Overestimate the ability and appearance of the "baby"; Give too much encouragement and praise.
□4. Parents will unconsciously show arrogant behaviors or attitudes, such as the ostentation and extravagance of PO Facebook, and buy their children an overpriced supercar.
The proportion of narcissistic personality increases with age!
Such children often lack introspection when they grow up. If the economic environment is good and they look good, they will naturally believe that their future is endless success, power and beauty, and they can have ideal love, work and career. Of course, such people tend to lack empathy, are unwilling to identify or identify with the emotional needs of others, and show arrogant behavior or attitude.
People with insufficient ability keep changing jobs and screw up their careers. They always think others are jealous, destructive and unlucky. People with good abilities are often bullies at home or in the workplace, bullying colleagues and even beating their families, which has become a source of pain for many people. Do you want your baby to do the same in the future? Or do you think your "baby" will grow naturally? Wake up! Now many surveys have found (please refer to Narcissism Times if you are interested or suspicious) that the proportion of narcissistic personality increases with age, the self-confidence of young people is far higher than their true abilities, and the parents of the younger generation are actually more narcissistic.
Mom, please call me "baby"! There are narcissistic children at home. Will your baby be an exception? The important question is how to help him grow.
1. Stop calling him "baby". Calling him "baby" only satisfies your excessive love and vanity.
Perhaps the ultimate goal we want should be "I just hope my son is stupid and honest, so that he can get an official position" (from Su Dongpo, a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty). In fact, this is the happiest. It makes sense to call a mentally retarded child "Xi Hannah". Thinking too much is often the root of unhappiness. However, in modern society, young people have low wages. Facing the challenge of artificial intelligence, they must have a good job, continue to work hard and use a lot of brains to survive. Being a baby from an early age is inevitably unwilling to suffer hardships and suffer indignities, which often leads to inevitable failure.
Let him share the work from childhood and take care of himself independently.
One of the characteristics of "baby" is that it is taken care of too much. As mentioned earlier, a ten-year-old boy needs his grandmother to help him feed and bathe, and he is speechless. The most common situation is that tea reaches into your hand and your mouth is full of food. In particular, my mother doesn't like the "little princess" in the kitchen (even less the "little prince"), for fear that they will touch dirty things and that it will be hard and dangerous for them to touch the lampblack. As a result, many people stop doing housework when they grow up, especially cooking. There are convenience stores and restaurants everywhere anyway. But "babies" will lose many survival skills, and may also pay the health price of eating out for a long time. For example, I often see young women suffering from stomatitis, which is related to vitamin B deficiency. Recent research also shows that the elderly have more dementia problems related to vitamin B deficiency.
3. Let him learn to help others and cultivate empathy.
Just now I mentioned sharing work, which is actually the beginning of cultivating division of labor and cooperation, rather than just letting adults help "babies." Knowing how to cooperate is actually learning to help others and increase the deep interaction between people. Through this process, children will learn teamwork, learn more social skills, learn other people's stories and advantages, and know how to help each other. In this process, they are also cultivating empathy, which is an important foundation of intimate relationship and the temperature of people. A society without empathy, even if you have more wealth, you must have a fortress or luck to protect you from physical or psychological harm.
Let him know where his ability lies, and don't live in the fantasy of money and love.
There is a kind of baby who has great ambition but low vision. He always overestimates his ability and blames fate for his failure. Because the so-called "babies" often live in a life built by their parents or elders with money and love, they have never really experienced difficulties, let alone the ruthlessness of encountering reality. Some small achievements in their studies were over-praised. Before entering the society, they lived in the fantasy of "I must be gentle". Problems in reality are often cruel. The money and love of parents or elders can't buy future success and smoothness. The gap between imagination and reality is often doomed to tragedy. Sometimes it's career, sometimes it's love, sometimes it's family, and the worst part is jail.
Just keep unconditional love in your heart.
So, please don't call your child "baby" any more, just keep baby and unconditional love in your heart. What we want to raise is definitely not a "baby" with a good life. The success of a lifetime is not affordable to anyone, but depends on the reward of God. What we want is the future of "baby in my heart".
1. Be able to think independently and take care of yourself independently.
2. Be able to face difficulties, solve problems and go against the wind.
Can get along well with others and have a happy family.
4. You can find your favorite job and build a successful career.
You can be happy, but not based on other people's pain or your own future pain.
I want to give this document to my two sons. Dad won't say, but he doesn't think you are a "baby", but he will always love you and keep you in his heart.
Huang Weili
Present position: Director of Huang Weili Psychosomatic Clinic.
Education: Graduated from Department of Medicine, Taiwan Province University and Institute of Psychology, Ohio University, USA.
Experience: Chief resident physician of psychiatric department of National Taiwan University Hospital, concurrently attending physician of psychiatric department of National Taiwan University Hospital, member of education promotion committee of severe depression association, clinical teacher of medical department of Fu Jen Catholic University, academic director of multinational pharmaceutical companies, and chief physician of Xindian Gengshen Hospital.