However, in the end, many marriages cannot compete with the invasion of time. When they are tired, they go away.
There are many problems in marriage in Qian Qian, but the most terrible thing is the disagreement between the three views.
Gan Long and Yi Ru were childhood friends in the hit drama Ruyi Palace. Every time Ganlong saw the innocent, he was as happy as a child, and he secretly promised this well-proportioned young man. In order to be able to be together smoothly, Yi Ru deliberately "shed crocodile tears" and let himself lose the third brother's draft, while Gan Long did not hesitate to contradict his mother and ask his father, and finally regarded Yi Ru as a side Fujin.
After marriage, she became one of many concubines. Gan long will personally draw the best and say "don't worry" to her; I remember her favorite childhood in Suzhou and Hangzhou. However, marriage is not better than love. When encountering problems, they also started quarreling in anger.
On one occasion, Yi Ru heard Lang Shining, a foreign painter, say in Ruyi Pavilion: "In monogamy in western countries, if mutual affection is exhausted, men can leave their unloved wives and women can leave their unloved husbands." She thinks it's fresh and reasonable.
When Yi Ru and Gan Long talked about this, Gan Long said Yi Ru was a vain delusion, and warned her that women in the palace must adhere to the Three Cardinal Principles and the Five Permanent Principles and remain modest. After the two men argued fruitlessly, they finally broke up in discord.
Ruyi, who comes from a famous family, doesn't know the love in her eyes. Ganlong is doomed to failure, but the most uncomfortable thing is that he can't even understand himself. The most tiring thing in marriage is not the disparity in identity, education and personality, but the disagreement between the three views. You suggest going to a hotel for a holiday, which seems to have a sense of ceremony, but he says you go too far; You want to take advantage of the holiday to travel and feel a different and beautiful culture, but he says you are losing money. Two people who don't know each other are like parallel lines that don't intersect, so people can't see the hope of * * *.
In the play, Jia Guifei was jealous of Ruyi's luck, so she framed Ruyi for being ambiguous with Master Anji who entered the palace to pray for war. And the man who once told her that she could keep her temper, the man who always said that she was different, even began to suspect that Ruyi was having an affair with her master, locked Ruyi up and tortured her maid.
In Yi Ru's view, Master Anji is a devout Buddhist practitioner, but in Gan Long's eyes, he is a person who attracts bees and butterflies. At this time, Qianlong didn't understand the wishful thinking of praying in Anhua Hall every day, and it was difficult for Ruyi to change his cognition of the master. The same frequency between husband and wife can only vibrate * * *, and two people who are not on the same channel are prone to doubt and kill the mutual affection between husband and wife a little.
Later, when the baby was in labor, the midwife Shi Tian caused dystocia, and the thirteenth brother Yongjing died. Two people who lost their beloved son were heartbroken. For example, Yi feels that the child was harmed by others, but he is superstitious about what Qin said. For example, Yi Ke killed his own child.
When Yi Ru heard the emperor say that "the purple star is not worthy of your destiny, and the mother saved her son and died", he must be extremely chilling: the love of flesh and blood and the righteousness of husband and wife are not comparable to the illusory astronomical theory in his heart!
Although Ruyi and Qianlong are still in love at this time, the incident of Yong Jing has alienated each other more and more, and they haven't seen each other for several months, which has made the two people who should be the closest and most comforting to each other doubly sad and tortured each other.
In marriage, two people with different views are together. At first, they may just quarrel and get angry. If one party does not take the initiative to understand and tolerate, it can only hurt each other for many years.
Maggie, a colleague, is divorced, has no affair, no contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and no property dispute. Hearing the news, I couldn't help sighing. After five years of long-distance love and two years of marriage, we parted ways. Asked about the reason, Maggie said that it was probably a disagreement between the three views.
Maggie, the eldest daughter of the family, has been worried that her elderly parents will not be well-off when they marry in other places, so after the company pays out the quarterly bonus, she sets aside part of it to her parents' bank card. When the husband knew about this, he said to her, "Don't you eat inside and choose outside?"
Maggie was furious when she heard this: "My parents raised me so much, shouldn't they be given money to spend? I spent my own money. Who are you to tell me what to do? "
The quarrel between the two became more and more fierce. Maggie was too lazy to argue with him and planned to go downstairs for fun. But at the moment when she opened the door, her husband closed the door angrily, and Maggie's fingers were bloody in an instant. When she arrived at the hospital, the doctor said that she had broken it.
It must be the first time that she has suffered such a crime. But Maggie said that the pain was nothing compared with my disappointment. The once beautiful love has long been erased in the quarrel day after day. Instead of continuing to spend energy on such days, it is better to separate and let each other live.
Couples with different views are not because of different ways of thinking or hobbies, but because they cannot understand, trust and tolerate each other. Such a marriage is doomed to break up.
Gan Long can't tolerate wishful stubbornness and can't understand her love view. Every time she meets a crisis, she still believes that Qianlong will not let go of her hand, but the cold reality disappoints her again and again:
Being wronged and murdered by the imperial heir, she didn't want to cause dissatisfaction in the harem and sent her to the cold palace;
Let him punish the wicked Jin severely. Considering that Jin is the biological mother of Yu Gong and the two princes, she restored each other's status and told her to put the overall situation first.
He brought hangover soup for his sake, but he said she was determined and knocked it over in front of everyone. ...
Middle-aged people are obsessed with seeing Leng Xiang. When they have good things, they will send them to her palace. Even if rejected, they will still build the Bao Yue Tower and the Hall of Blessing for her. For the harmony of the harem, Ruyi advised Gan Long many times, but in exchange for his dissatisfaction; In order to satisfy the desire of Qianlong, Ruyi tried desperately to persuade Han Xiang, who was bent on death, to live well. In order to save the life of Qianlong's sweetheart, Yi Ru gave Han Xiang sterilized soup, but he slapped her mercilessly.
The two young people who love each other deeply gradually come to the point of mutual disgust, and the mutual affection between husband and wife is exhausted by selfishness and suspicion. Ruyi was really tired, so he broke his hair as a sacrifice and broke his relationship with Qianlong himself. In this marriage, there is nothing wrong with loving only one person, and there is nothing wrong with doing it for the stability of the country. The two just disagree. The longer we get along, the deeper the pain.
Love is not enough for a beautiful marriage. After all, it takes only a moment of courage to marry a person, but it takes care of this marriage. We all know that "there are no two identical leaves in the world". It is like looking for a needle in a haystack to find a person who is completely consistent with his three views among thousands of people. But for such a long life, at least find someone who can understand your thoughts, respect your choices and adapt to your lifestyle.
Just like you like playing games at home, I like going out to see the scenery, I respect your entertainment, and you are willing to travel with me. I didn't go out dressed up, you said I was fooling around, you often went to the gym to run, and I said you were faking it.
The love story of Qianlong and Ruyi in Ruyi's Imperial Love in the Palace is just like the marriage of most of us: when two young people first fell in love, they were full of love and sweet happiness, and they just wanted to be with each other. After entering the marriage, I found that the triviality of daily necessities is wearing away the beauty of flowers and flowers: two people who had nothing to say before began to quarrel and get angry because they didn't want to think from each other's point of view; People who were close before became suspicious because they didn't know how to trust; The two sides who once appreciated each other hurt each other because they could not tolerate each other.
Marriage, based on love, is good, but it doesn't leave the consistent three views. Starting today, you try to accept what he likes, and he doesn't exclude what you want to do. Both of you are working for the same goal, and your married life will be full and interesting.
Love is easy, but marriage is not. There is no eternal love in the world, only a lifetime of concern, and the days ahead are still very long. I hope you can all work hard and live a better life in this besieged city of marriage!