The 45th edition in 2022.

Expose the truth of selfishness and take you to learn the art of selfishness: when others make unreasonable demands on your time, energy and emotions, how should we say no; Rejecting the "evil selfishness" of others and defending the "benign selfishness" of self are the key factors of happiness.

The author shared 50 suggestions, each of which told a story. The quality is average, but some suggestions are to my liking. Sorting out the 17 rules and agreeing with them as soon as possible will make your life happier.

Live broadcast time: 8: 00 pm on Sunday, June 12.

Theme: How to fight against your inertia?

Live address: video number reading method, another video number: life hacker as backup.

1, never compromise.

Unwilling to compromise or compromise too much, you can only choose one.

Anyone who wants to succeed must first decide which way to take.

The key to overcoming difficulties has nothing to do with morality, but with our personality characteristics and consistency. When we find what we love and decide to live in a way that suits our own characteristics, we can overcome difficulties. But when we live and act with a compromise attitude, setbacks will only follow us.

When we live and act with a compromise attitude, setbacks will only follow us.

If we do anything against ourselves, it will inevitably bring trouble.

Sometimes the dilemma of life is that everyone has no intention to solve the problem at all. They just want to do what they want.

There are some important ideas you want to convey to readers, so the first point is: "Don't accept any advice, no matter how ideal it sounds, until you can fully accept it from the bottom of your heart and think it is good."

The second note is: "Don't assume that the existing norms of human behavior must be true or perfect just because a rule exists. They are also likely to be as unreasonable as those traditions despised by contemporary people. "

"Live a good life" is no longer a question of wisdom, but a question of courage. You may be smart enough to find a feasible solution. But do you have the courage to practice? If not, then you are no different from a fool.

4. The art of laziness

In order to solve the problem successfully, we must borrow the attitude of mechanization and strive to achieve the balance between our own interests and social needs. Only in this way can we overcome the problems in life for a long time.

The direction of our efforts should be to find a better way.

By using methods or tools, we can overcome the obstacles that nature puts in front of human beings. From an objective point of view, we think this is the most natural fact. Once we focus on personal problems or subjective concerns, we will forget this principle. We not only forget to look for similar solutions, but even question whether these solutions are really available. Just as our ancestors once resisted all mechanization and laughed at those who thought that "the dilemma of life" could be overcome, we refused to believe that the way to control the situation was actually buried in our attitude towards it.

Whether it's your frustration in love, my money anxiety or even the plight of food, clothing, housing and transportation, the content of the problem is not important. What really matters is how we face these problems. We are people who have all kinds of uncertainties in their hearts and are confused by experience; And we are those who try to understand the dilemma and find ways to overcome it. Instead of praying that we can get money to pay off our debts, we should pray for a vision that can enhance our personal wealth and creativity.

He who has a clear mind will be the reaper of wealth. When our feelings are bound and our thoughts have to compromise, our immediate power, wealth, status and even happiness will not last long.

Those who have no methods and don't know how to seek them, those who obviously lack independence and autonomy, must strive to win the prosperity of life with their own experience and wisdom. If we always waste opportunities because of biased thinking, then even if we devote all our energy to our goals crazily, we can't bring ourselves any wealth.

Part of life is to find ways to overcome problems and conquer those difficulties that hinder us again and again. When we change, our fate will also change. Those who can make themselves obey the rules will change their relationship with life in a crucial way. He can make things look new. Before we make such changes, we often like to think of ourselves as victims of fate, because fate always seems to destroy our efforts.

This is why the belief of never compromising is very important for living wisely. When you allow yourself to be oppressed, your ability will be limited and your motivation to solve problems will be damaged.

What should we do in the face of difficulties?

When we are faced with a problem, where we focus our attention will determine whether this problem can be solved perfectly and whether we will become victims in this situation.

How are you doing? When you are overworked, do you complain or try to reduce overwork? When an inconvenient situation arises, will you stop and try to find a better way, or will you tolerate such inconvenience with resentment? When life is oppressed by work, will you try to solve it through planning, find a healthier way to get rid of the predicament, or fill your heart with anger? Trying to find out what you should pay attention to is more important than constantly thinking about the problem itself.

Fear of danger is an endless road until we find a way to protect ourselves.

All hardships are to arouse our courage, learn lessons and force us to face the difficulties of life with wisdom. Where we focus our attention and whether we can guide it continuously and carefully with a calm mind will determine the happiness we can get. Do this and success will begin to walk with you.

No matter what problems you face, there are always suitable methods or tools to help you solve them.

5. Grasp the transition point.

Everyone's life has some turning points, and a small move can make our life embark on the broad road from now on, or it can go from bad to worse from now on. We keep repeating these actions, and these actions are bound to be accompanied by joy or pain. Pamela firmly believes that she should never compromise with herself, and she has the ability to act bravely in the face of difficulties that may eventually overwhelm her.

6. Don't be blinded by self-satisfaction.

No one wants to give in to the pride of others. You must put your immediate needs first and insist that your partner do the same.

Don't pursue the principle of self-satisfaction, which applies to all aspects of life, especially in the face of those ruthless situations. Suppose you are angry at your son's behavior, what changes do you want him to make? You should turn him against you by punishment? Lose his respect for you with hysterical curses? Let him secretly hate you by scolding and belittling? Or even use high-pressure coercion to make his behavior worse? Or, can you exchange your caring understanding and gentle explanation for his better performance?

This is not to say that we must give up the requirement of our son's "good" behavior because of emotional compromise, but to adjust the means for the purpose.

One of the benefits of selfishness is that it can protect us from the aura of treacherous self-sacrifice and avoid the fatal impact of self-sacrifice on interpersonal relationships.

No one wants to succumb to the pride of others. This model is definitely not cooperation. You must put your immediate needs first and insist that your partner do the same.

Ensure the objectivity of looking at the problem. Don't involve yourself in this problem. Don't sit in the right place, be right about things, not people.

7. Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you.

Learn to treat others the way they expect, or how you expect others to treat you.

8. Know your own thoughts

After you begin to be honest about your personality, you will soon know more about yourself. Your only obligation is to be yourself.

When you give up being the person who doesn't conform to your nature and do what you can't do, your performance will be much better than now.

9. How to refuse a request

We don't like to point out who makes us miserable, because doing so will make us feel betrayed.

Nothing will become your obligation just because others say it with their mouths. When our thinking is clear, we can refuse other people's demands: know how to think about the relationship between these demands and our lives. When you do something just to please the other person, you should refuse to do it; And with the same tough attitude, refuse to put up with certain situations unless you think these situations belong to the responsibility of life.

Don't take any responsibility that you can't understand, but stand firm when you refuse. This will reduce the trouble for everyone. It's definitely easier to cut the gordian knot than to wait for trouble. Even after you make a promise, we should still maintain our autonomy. If you promise something irrationally, don't stick to the literal meaning and feel obligated to practice it. You have the right to change your mind.

There is a great principle to help others. Only when you can hold the mentality of "asking for nothing in return" (even modest words of thanks) should we give others the help they need. Otherwise, don't help others.

When you do something just to please each other, you should refuse to do it.

10, in the face of people who have been complaining about depression, they are more desperate than him.

Life is like playing chess. Fate is sitting at the other end of the table, waiting for your hand. We should draw up countermeasures according to every move of fate, and regard our life planning as the most basic "strategy".

1 1, sacrifice will only bring harm.

I wronged myself by being a cow and a horse for my children. Her sacrifice was doomed to failure from the beginning.

Suffering for external obligations is a virtue recognized by traditional thinking-no matter whether this sacrifice is appropriate or meaningful.

The art of selfishness is to know how to meet your own needs, not to let others take it away.

Control our enemies

Sometimes, our enemy is a bully, and the effective way to contain each other is to show our strength.

We should fight for a bigger goal, and defeat the enemy without fighting. Let the "enemy" of the past become the "friend" of the present.

13, change those behaviors that make you hate.

When you are upset about something, never try to solve it at this moment.

It is the principle given by people who have been in contact for a long time and are good at psychological strategies:

Never let yourself look expressionless. Practice pretending to be naive, receptive and friendly, and keep this expression.

In any case, enthusiasm is the best way. Wholehearted is infectious. If you want to win the hearts of others, you must first give your own heart.

When a cheetah is deadlocked, it yawns and stretches. Nothing can bring more powerful effect than relaxation in a tense situation.

When in an awkward position, laugh at yourself. Smile is the best weapon in the world. Laugh until others join you, but remember, you can only laugh at yourself.

If something is unpleasant, you must say it anyway, so please speak slowly and gently.

Nothing can make the other person immediately notice it better than suddenly lowering his voice. A deep voice is definitely better than a clenched fist.

Never let your opponent think you are smart. The simpler you look, the weaker your opponent's attack.

Have certain expectations for the stubbornness of arrogant people. Don't tell the other person what you think he should do. Put forward those opposite plans, and let the other person spontaneously move toward your goal.

Remember, fear is far more tenacious than stubbornness. If you want to shake the determination of those who are afraid, you might as well find something that scares them in the discussion and bring it up for discussion. A ghost story is enough to make cowards run wild in the forest where wolves haunt.

Never try to manipulate others. Take care of yourself and pay attention to your words and deeds. Manipulating others will only bring failure. Let this idea be the basis of all your actions.

Go straight to the core of the problem and let the other party retreat. Most of the time, our problems are caused by people. This is why the way we deal with the problem will determine the direction of the problem. You can't always back down. Face up to the problem and ask the relevant personnel to stand back.

When people ignore you, their behavior is equivalent to telling you how to treat them. There are always thousands of good ways to deal with every situation. Take the advice given by the situation and you will know what to do.

Never trust a person who tries to hide his stupidity. No one is always smart. The smarter people are, the more willing they are to admit their mistakes. In a group of people, the safest people are those who know that they will keep making mistakes.

Deception is tantamount to admitting your vulnerability. The strong seldom play tricks. If you are not afraid of other people's tricks at all, others will run away. Trick only leads to stupidity. Smart villains often end up outsmarting themselves.

Win with actions and get protection with reactions. As long as you can calm yourself down, almost nothing can't be solved.

14, a person's happiness is the key to the success of intimate relationships.

Only when we refuse to bear any injustice in marriage, and at the same time wisely restrain ourselves from forcing our partners, can this relationship succeed.

15, never let one thing bother you all day, but don't let yourself try to make any changes.

16, the seven steps of thinking plan

No matter what kind of problems we think about, we should follow a set of extremely important steps:

First, measure and collect the impact or facts in this situation.

Second, find out the reasons or forces that lead to this situation.

Third, try to find out the principles and foundations of communication under specific problems.

Fourth, record and evaluate the situation of people who are also in this predicament.

Fifth, list the places and events related to this problem.

Sixth, indicate the most important influence brought by difficulties, people or things.

Seventh, decide when to take action.

Please stop forever and think about which direction you are going, what you are doing, and who always makes you behave like a rampaging gorilla.

Live broadcast time: 8: 00 pm on Sunday, June 12.

Theme: How to fight against your inertia?

Live address: video number reading method, another video number: life hacker as backup.

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