1 The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much." "I see. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?" Boss: "Sorry, I still don't have it." "I see. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?" The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "The little white rabbit took out the money:" Great, I'll take two! "" "

There is a little white rabbit running happily in the forest. On the way, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The white rabbit said to the giraffe, "giraffe, giraffe, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! " The giraffe looked at the marijuana and the white rabbit, so she threw the marijuana behind her and ran in the forest with the white rabbit. Later, they met an elephant ready to take cocaine. The white rabbit said to the elephant, "Elephant, elephant, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! "Elephants look at cocaine and white rabbits, throw cocaine behind them and run in the forest with white rabbits and giraffes. Later, they met a lion who was going to fight heroin. The white rabbit said to the lion, "lion, lion, why do you want to do something that hurts yourself?" "Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together! " The lion looked at the syringe and the rabbit, threw the syringe behind him and rushed to beat the rabbit hard. The elephant and giraffe trembled with fear: "Why did you hit the rabbit?" He is so kind, concerned about our health and close to nature. "The lion said angrily," this bastard rabbit drags me around the forest like an idiot every time he eats ecstasy. "

On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, caught nothing and went home. The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home. On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit, if you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!

In order to test the strength of the police in the United States, Hongkong and Chinese mainland, the United Nations put three rabbits in three forests to see who could find them first. The first to test it was the American police. They spent half a day meeting to make a battle plan, strictly divided the work, and then sent special forces to quickly enter the forest for carpet search. As a result, the rabbit ran away because the meeting was postponed, and the task failed! Then it's the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent 100 people and dozens of police cars to line up outside the forest. The leader shouted with a megaphone: "Rabbit, rabbit, you are surrounded, come out and surrender ..." Half a day passed, but nothing happened. Flying Tigers entered the forest to search again, and the mission failed! Finally, there are only four policemen in Chinese mainland. They played mahjong all day. At dusk, a man walked into the forest with a baton. Less than five minutes later, he heard an animal scream from the forest. The policeman in China came out laughing and talking with a cigarette in his mouth, dragging a black bear behind him. The bear was dying and said, "Stop playing, I'm a rabbit ..."

The little white rabbit was walking in the forest when he met the wolf. He came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers and said, "I told you not to wear a hat." The little white rabbit left very grievance. The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat." Tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger. After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I see. I will handle this matter, so trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his partner wolf. "It is wrong for you to do so. It is very difficult for me. " Then he wiped the dust off the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found a slim one, and you said you liked the plump one. You can beat her. It is both reasonable and powerful. "The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart. The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It's the big bad wolf coming. The wolf said, "Tutu, come and find me a piece of meat." "Tu Tu said," So, do you want to be fat or thin? " When the wolf heard this, his heart sank and he became happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B, and he said, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tu Tu asked, "So, do you prefer plump or slim? "The wolf was silent for 2 seconds and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear stickers." Shit, I told you not to wear a hat. "

Bears and rabbits shit in the forest. After that, the bear asked the rabbit, "Have you lost your hair?" The rabbit said "no ~" so the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass.

A rabbit molested a wolf (the rabbit was very strong) and ran away. The wolf chased him angrily. Seeing that the wolf was about to catch up, the rabbit sat down under a tree, put on sunglasses, read the newspaper and pretended that nothing had happened. At this time, the wolf came and saw the rabbit sitting under the tree. He asked, "Did you see a rabbit running past?" The rabbit replied, "Did the rabbit tease the wolf?" The wolf shouted, "No way! It's in the newspaper so soon! ! ! "

One day, a little white rabbit came to a shop and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots?" The boss shook his head: "No."The little white rabbit went away with a whoosh. The next day, the little white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?" The boss shook his head angrily: "No", and the little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh. On the third day, the white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?" The boss shouted angrily, "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your tooth with pliers! " The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh. The fourth day, the little white rabbit came to this shop again and asked timidly, "Boss, do you have pliers?" The boss said, "No." The white rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?" I don't know how many days later, a little black rabbit came to this shop and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots?" The boss shook his head angrily: "No", and the little black rabbit ran away. The next day, the little black rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?" The boss was very angry: "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your tooth with pliers! " The little black rabbit ran away after hearing it. On the third day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked timidly, "boss, do you have pliers?" The boss said angrily, "No." The little black rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?" The boss got angry, grabbed the little black rabbit, took out a small hammer and knocked out the little black rabbit's teeth. The fourth day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked vaguely, "Boss, do you have carrot juice?"

Giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. " The rabbit looked at him blankly. "Also, in summer, rabbits, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. What a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine? " The rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

10 One day, the kangaroo was driving on a country road, and suddenly he saw the little white rabbit in the middle of the road, with his ears and body almost lying on the ground, as if listening to something ... So ... the kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "Little white rabbit, what are you listening to?" "A big truck passed by here half an hour ago ..." "Wow ... amazing! .. how do you know? .. ""Damn it! That's how my neck and legs are broken .. "

1 1 An ant was walking in the forest and suddenly met an elephant. The ant quickly got into the soil and stretched out a leg. The little white rabbit was curious and asked, What are you doing? The ant whispered to it: shh ... don't make any noise, watch me trip. ...

12 One day the rabbit was writing in front of a cave, and a wolf came up and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?" The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper." The wolf asked again, "What topic?" The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves." The wolf laughed and said he didn't believe it. The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. Then another fox came over and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?" The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper." The fox asked, "What topic?" The rabbit replied, "How does the rabbit eat the fox?" The fox laughed after hearing this, expressing disbelief. The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit went out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper. At this time, in the cave, a lion is sitting on a pile of bones and picking his teeth, while reading the rabbit's paper: the ability of an animal depends not on its strength, but on who is its boss behind the scenes!

13 in a mental hospital, one day the dean wanted to see how three mental patients were recovering, so he put a white rabbit in front of each of them. The first mental patient sat on the white rabbit, grabbed the rabbit's ear and shouted "Drive". The dean shook his head. The second man turned his back on the white rabbit, patted its ass and said, "Chase it for me". The dean sighed. The third crouched there, touching the white rabbit assiduously. After reading it, the dean nodded with satisfaction, only to hear him say, "sample, let you walk 300 meters, and I will chase you after washing the car!" " Dean fell down and passed out. ...

14 The big white rabbit and the big bear squatted under the tree and shit. Bear said to the white rabbit, although you white rabbits are good-looking, you are in trouble! You can tell when it's dirty. That's disgusting! The little white rabbit said, look at what you said! Isn't it? Bear said, yes! Bear said as he grabbed the white rabbit and wiped his ass and walked away. ...

15 The little white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a jar. An elf came out of the pot and said that he could satisfy their three wishes. The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish has come true. The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish has also come true. The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish has come true again. The little white rabbit said, give it a bike. Its wish has come true again. The bear said, turn all other bears in the world into bitches! The little white rabbit got on the bike and said as he ran, turn this bear into a homosexual. ...

16 Three white rabbits picked a mushroom. The two big ones let the small one get some wild vegetables to eat together, and the small one said, I won't go! When I leave, you will eat my mushrooms ... two big ones: no, don't worry. So the little white rabbit went ~ ~ ~ Half a year passed and the little white rabbit hasn't come back yet. One elder said: Don't come back, eat ... Another elder said: Wait a little longer ~ ~ One year has passed, and the little white rabbit hasn't come back ... The two elders discussed it: Don't wait, eat ... Just then, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the nearby jungle and said angrily: Look! I know you want to eat my mushrooms. ...

1. A male deer walked faster and faster, and finally became a road (deer)! ! ! !

Two tomatoes crossed the road, and a car sped by. One of them couldn't escape and was squashed. The other tomato pointed to the squashed tomato and smiled: dig hahaha, ketchup …

The wolf said, "I will eat you!" " ! ! "Guess what?

As a result, the wolf ate the lamb.

Stones and rice cakes fight, stones fly and kick rice cakes into the sea.

Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who decided to join the army for life, so they made an oath with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and agreed to meet her three years later today. At that time, the ring will be used as a wedding ring. Three years later, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but she can't. Sad and desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and moved away. However, the boy has been waiting.

Rice cake! ! !

Is jiaozi a boy or a girl?

Answer the boy because jiaozi has a foreskin.

There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, he was hit by a car. He shouted, "Quack!" From then on, he became a cucumber! !

The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so I reached out and scratched myself and burned myself to death …

Once upon a time there was a bird.

He passes through a cornfield every day.

But unfortunately,

One day, a fire broke out in the cornfield.

All the corn has turned into popcorn.

After the bird flew over, ...

I think it will be very cold if it snows. ...

When will Taiwan Province Province be reunified?

When buying instant noodles

Asun and appa have nothing to talk about, telling each other that time waits for no man.

A song: "Recalling childhood, the happiest thing is Children's Day."

Apa: "Youth Day is in ten years."

A song: "Father's Day is in ten years."

Apa: "It will be the days of the elderly in a few decades."

A song: "In a few decades."

Appa: Tomb-Sweeping Day.

Soldier: "Thirst ... Thirst ..."

Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember there is a merlin nearby, which may arrive in a moment. "

Soldier: "Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh! "

Half an hour later-Coss: "Master! The expedition found a lot of water! "

Cao Cao: "Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink. "

Soldier: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..."

One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak meet in the street. Why don't they say hello (assuming they can talk)?

because ..............

because ................

Because they are all strangers ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Q: How to make sparrows quiet?

Press it. (Silence).

A college student was unfortunately caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! ! ! "College students replied to the enemy's words and were electrocuted. ...

He said, "I'm from TV University!"

Wang, the host of Happy Dictionary, interviewed a program audience and asked, "Who is your favorite hostess?" The audience said, "It's you." Wang asked, "Why do you say that?" The audience said, "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!"

Do you know what color Spider-Man is?

Red, wrong!

It is white.

Look at Spider-Man's English: Spider-Man (a white man)

Why did Xiaoming fall?

Because the floor is slippery.

After a party, a group of animals rushed into 7- 1 1 convenience store to buy things. Because it was too noisy, the clerk knocked it out, but left the lamb alone in the store. Why?

Convenience stores are open 24 hours a day. ...

The glass and coffee cup crossed the road together, and suddenly someone shouted: Here comes the bus!

As a result, the glass was hit by a car and the coffee cup was fine. Why?

Coffee cups have ears!

A horse said that our company launched a new product, Ass 3, or MP3… for short.

When winter came, I decided to keep the habit of taking a cold bath, but after washing, I found myself back to my childhood! ! !

There is a fat man. ...

Jump off the top of the twentieth floor. ...

It turned out to be .....

Fat man! !

Once upon a time, there was a piece of bread. It felt hungry and ate itself.

Once upon a time, there was a glass of beer. It felt thirsty and drank it. ..

Once upon a time, there was a virgin who felt tired and let herself fall asleep.

Who are the ancestors of mankind?

It's peanuts because peanuts ~ ~ ~

Which ancient figure was a white-collar worker?

Meng Mu's Three Movements (Thousands)

Zhang Fei: "Stop, old thief!"

Yan Yan: "Ring-eyed thief! Dismount and die! "

Police car: "Listen, two thieves ~ ~ ~ You are surrounded ~ ~ ~ Drop your weapons ..."

How did ants die after falling from the Himalayas?

Answer: I am starving. Because it is too light, it will take a long time to float down …

A peach was walking on the road and suddenly said, my heart is so hard!

A walnut was walking on the road and suddenly said, how thick-skinned I am!

There is a coke can on the road, and I feel bored when I walk. Suddenly, I said, I'm so coke!

A heater was walking on the road, helping passers-by conveniently, and suddenly said, I am so enthusiastic!

A key was walking on the road and suddenly said, I am Qu Yuan! I'll look up and down for that lock!

An electric meter was walking on the road and suddenly said, I am a scholar! Look for him in the crowd!

A tadpole was walking on the road and met another tadpole while walking. Walking, he suddenly said, we are not QQ!

A hawthorn is married and walking on the road. Walking, he suddenly said, my face is so red!

A hawthorn divorced, walking on the road suddenly said, my heart is so sour!

A hawthorn remarried and walked on the road, suddenly saying, I have a child in my stomach!

A tea bag was walking on the road and suddenly said, I really want to be soaked!

A dumpling stuffing was walking on the road and suddenly said, I really want to be wrapped!

A lighter was walking on the road and suddenly said that his stomach was full of gas and he wanted to get angry!

A cockroach was walking on the road and suddenly said, I am strong!

A thimble was walking on the road and suddenly said, I'm on it!

An ice cream was walking on the road and suddenly said, I'm cold!

A spider was walking on the road and suddenly said, I still want to surf the internet!

A fish was walking on the road and suddenly said, I like diving every day!

A Guan Yu was walking on the road, and suddenly he said, I rode thousands of miles alone!

An eagle was walking on the road and met a bear. Suddenly, he said, we are playing with the eagle and the bear!

A compass was walking on the road and suddenly said, why can't I find the north?

An earthworm was walking on the road and suddenly said, why can't I find my legs?

Once upon a time, there was a Simmons. She closed her eyes and suddenly felt as if something was missing.

Thinking of hearing the doorbell ring, I opened the door and saw that the electric blanket had just returned from the meeting.

Simmons grabbed the electric blanket and said:

Brother ~ ~ You can come back, I'm freezing ~ ~ ~

A German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine.

The boss is American. He said to the Germans, "You have a good physique and are in charge of coolies. 」

He said to the French, "You said you were an engineer in charge of the mining plan. 」

To the Japanese, he said, "You are very thin. You are in charge of supply. 」

Then every other week, they start to work.

A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first.

When the Germans started to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out.

Shout out:

"surprise! 」

There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pull out his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" "

Hearing this, the polar bear tore off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold!" " "

There is a hide-and-seek club whose leader has not been found yet. ...

Xiaohong asked: Do you use your right hand or your left hand to make coffee?

Xiaomei said: right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are awesome. You are not afraid of scalding, just like I use a spoon.

Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?

Because it's cold there ... ..