On New Year's Day, Jiao Jiao was particularly angry. She made an appointment to have dinner with her boyfriend Guang Xiao. Seeing that the date was coming, she set off for the restaurant.

Jiao Jiao sent a message to Guang Xiao that he had arrived, but there was no response. So Jiao Jiao waited in the hotel and drank half a pot of tea.

The waiter has been urging her. If there is no one else, I'll change a small table for you. There are still many people to eat in the back.

Jiao Jiao called Guang Xiao and asked him when he would arrive.

Unexpectedly, Guang Xiao said he was already eating, but he couldn't go there.

Jiao Jiao was very angry. No one will be in a good mood when he goes out in such cold weather and is stood up.

Guang Xiao explained, Hey, my nephew asked me to play with him this afternoon, and said he wanted me to take him to KFC. I have no choice, so you can understand me. ......

Jiao Jiao said, but you can at least tell me not to keep me waiting.

Guang Xiao said, I don't have time. He dragged me out of the house. I was just driving. I just ate. You call me.

When this happens, Jiao Jiao really wants to get angry. Guang Xiao always seems to have this skill. Every time he stood Jiao Jiao up, he still looked particularly innocent.

On another occasion, Guang Xiao said that his little nephew's parents were not at home and needed someone to supervise his homework. But I have a headache today. I hope Jiao Jiao can go instead of me.

Jiao Jiao also didn't think too much, in the past.

I didn't expect my little nephew to be particularly unconscious and very tired when he was supervised. Jiao Jiao stayed up until nearly 1 1 p.m in the evening. He was so tired that his mouth was thirsty.

The next day, my nephew's parents were still away. Guang Xiao said, I have dinner with my buddy. You have nothing to do at night anyway. Please take a look at it for me.

Jiao Jiao didn't want to go, but Guang Xiao said, we are one, and my business is your business. I'm not available now, so please understand!

On the third day, my nephew's parents haven't come back yet. Guang Xiao said, I'm going to the gym for class. Please try again and look at your homework.

Jiao Jiao didn't want to, so they quarreled. Guang Xiao silenced Jiao Jiao with the theory that lovers should be considerate of each other.

In a word, Guang Xiao stood her up as a last resort, and it was unfortunate to ask Jiao Jiao to help her with her homework. There is no reason for Jiao Jiao to be angry.

But even if two people love each other, Jiao Jiao has her own demands. She is not firewood, she must burn herself to illuminate others.

Yesterday, Jiao Jiao found in Guang Xiao's mobile phone that he still kept in touch with his ex-girlfriend.

In the face of Jiao Jiao's questioning, Guang Xiao said that she was my first love. Men all have a first love complex. We're just friends. Can you understand?

Jiao Jiao couldn't help it this time. Let's break up. I don't want to understand.

We often say that couples need to understand each other before their feelings can go far.

But if only one of them sacrifices himself and understands the other for a long time, the emotional balance will be out of balance sooner or later.

02

Everyone is born as a man and has his own difficulties. But you can't just see your own difficulties and ask others to make sacrifices for you.

Why should others be responsible for understanding you if they don't owe you?

When she was in love, Wen Jing felt particularly distressed when she knew that Dalin was a child of a single-parent family and made up her mind to give him a home.

Hearing Dalin say that mom is not easy, she promised him kindly and quietly, and let her mother-in-law come and live together after marriage, not lonely.

Wen Jing went to Dalin's house for the first time and mentioned many things for fear of losing her manners. After dinner, she took the initiative to wash the dishes and wanted to leave a good impression on Dalin's mother.

Unexpectedly, looking at the quietly washed bowl, Dalin's mother felt unclean and put it in the pool again. When he left, he asked Wenjing to take things back, saying that he bought too much and wasted money.

Wen Jing felt particularly wronged, but Dalin comforted her and said that my mother was used to hard work and thrift, and there was no malice. Just understand the old man!

After marriage, Wenjing kept her promise and took the initiative to live with Dalin's mother, and discussed with Dalin to give the elderly some money as living expenses every month.

However, Dalin's mother was not happy after receiving the money. She said, I am in charge of Dalin's salary card. Please give me your salary card, and I will help you manage it, so as to save you young people money.

Wenjing doesn't want to. She thinks that Dalin is married and should give her a salary card to cover the expenses at home and abroad.

Dalin said that my mother used to manage my salary card, but now it hurts her more when she comes back. In addition, my mother is also doing us good, hoping to save us some money.

Wen Jing is helpless. Dalin's mother doesn't take the initiative to give herself money, and she is embarrassed to keep asking for it, which is equivalent to the fact that the expenses at home are maintained by Wenjing alone.

Once, Wenjing's father wanted to have an operation, and Wenjing's money was less than four figures. She had to tell Dalin's mother that she hoped to misappropriate some savings for emergencies.

But Dalin's mother refused to give it until she couldn't explain it clearly, only to admit that all the money was lent to Dalin's uncle to buy a house.

Wen Jing was so angry that blood welled up, but Dalin just muttered that it was not easy for my mother to bring me up alone, thanks to my uncle's help ... Who knew that your father would suddenly have an operation, and he understood. .....

Dalin wanted to be quiet and understand herself, but never thought that it was Wen Jing's father who needed surgery. She needs money and deserves it!

After trying to get through this crisis, Wen Jing said without leaving any room, take back the salary card, rent a house for her mother-in-law, give her living expenses every month, or get divorced.

Isn't it easy for your mother It's not easy for my parents to raise me so big! Who has the obligation to do reading comprehension every day!

03

When I say I don't want to understand, I mean there is no need to always wronged myself and fulfill each other's unreasonable demands.

Love a person for seven points, and love yourself for the remaining three points. Don't let the other person take advantage of your "understanding".

But when two people are together, it is always impossible to do everything according to their own wishes. To some extent, we should understand some excessive demands of our partners.

Between lovers, understanding is mutual

Between lovers, put yourself in each other's shoes, that's right. However, the premise is that you don't pay unilaterally.

For example, we have an appointment for dinner. I've been waiting for a long time, arranged the time and put on my makeup. I'm disappointed that you worked overtime temporarily, but I can understand you and don't blame you for standing me up.

I work overtime every day in order to catch up with the project, so I have no time to visit your family and attend your family party. You can understand me, help me explain to everyone and support me silently.

If you only ask me to understand you unilaterally, but never understand my difficulties, then I will feel that this is a unilateral sacrifice.

Don't ask for more than the other side's bottom line.

Guang Xiao wants Jiao Jiao to know that he has been keeping in touch with his ex-girlfriend, which is beyond the bottom line.

Guang Xiao is with Jiao Jiao now, so she should keep her distance from other girls, especially her ex-girlfriend, to avoid being suspected.

Dalin felt that it was not easy for her mother to support herself alone, but she didn't think that her hard work was not caused by silence.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to help each other. You helped me when I was young, and I helped you when you were old. You didn't marry a man, but you owe his mother 5 million.

Before asking the other person to understand, think about whether your request is too shameless.

Understanding needs moderation.

Being too considerate is weakness. If others can do whatever they want, then others will not take you seriously.

In the workplace, don't be a post-it girl. Anyone who needs it can take you to the emergency room.

Because they know that if you take up your time, you won't have a problem, or you dare not have a problem.

So they leave their responsibilities to you, and they want you to take the blame if something goes wrong.

Emotionally, don't be a "post-it girlfriend", be responsive and on call.

After a long time, he has formed a fixed mode of getting along. He is used to your convenience. If one day you don't understand, he will blame you for changing.

To understand a person, we must first see whether this person is worth it or not, and whether he will understand your difficulties.

Any unilateral understanding is emotional kidnapping, and any requirement beyond the bottom line is pushing your luck.