For avoidant perfectionism, there are often only "two extremes", and they don't realize that there is still a "middle ground".
Under the influence of this mode of thinking, avoidance has a "strong" emotion for failure.
They think that if you can't do the best, it is the worst; If you can't be perfect, you must be useless.
"Either extraordinary or mediocre, there is no middle ground." This is a true portrayal of most people who avoid their hearts.
But the real "perfection" does not exist in the world, and the stubborn pursuit of perfection often leads them to a cognitive extreme:
Completely deny everything.
In the face of failure, they will magnify their dissatisfaction with themselves into inferiority, and then attack themselves.
Due to the lack of positive attitude, they often feel sorry for themselves and delay their actions, resulting in many great opportunities passing them by.
Always struggling with the idea of black and white, always avoiding risks.
When there is a good opportunity in front of us, ordinary people will consider success/achievement and fight for it. He may consider the risk of failure that others can't perceive/ignore and avoid it completely. In the long run, it inhibits innovation and creativity.
Although some criteria exist, such as success or failure, there are still many possibilities between the two extremes, and these "possibilities" are also of great significance to the whole life.
So don't forget to tell yourself:
1. Accept the reality
You can't cover everything. For everyone, the four most important aspects of life are family, career, friends and personal health. Few people can do all these four aspects well, and most people can't.
2. As long as it is good enough.
Not the best, just good enough. In a perfect world, you can spend 12 hours at work every day; In the real world, working eight hours a day is enough for you. In a perfect world, you can go to the gym for 2 hours every day; In the real world, you only need to go to the gym twice a week and exercise 1 hour each time, which is good enough.
Ask yourself, what will life be like if I do these very important fields "well enough"? When you adopt this "good enough" way of thinking, your stress will be relieved a lot, and you will find that you have never felt satisfied before instead of your usual frustration.
In fact, only a "good enough" way of thinking can help you reach the best level.
Regain control
The best way to control the situation that leads to failure is to recheck your preparation before you do anything.
For example, make your goals as detailed as possible, set a time limit for the goals of each stage, predict the setbacks that may be encountered in the process, and reserve solutions for a series of problems that will occur.
Understand that everyone makes mistakes. Since mistakes are inevitable, try to reduce them as much as possible.