The three stages of loving children are accompanied by the respect of the coach. Parents' love is as important as the sun and water that give birth to all life on earth. Accompanying children is essential on the road to growth. Then let's take a look at the three stages of the coach's respect and love for children.

The three stages of loving children accompany the coach to respect 1 the three links of loving children: companionship, coaching and attention.

(a) 0-6 years old, love is equivalent to companionship.

Creation of intelligence: intelligence grows rapidly at the age of 0-6, and 50% of intelligence is produced before the age of 4. Intelligence is not the number of brain cells, but the number of connections between brain cells. To a certain extent, it is more irritating and the central neurons are thicker. To a certain extent, the intelligence is more developed.

Emotional shaping: the left brain is developed → the thinking logic is strong, and the right brain is developed → it is the ability of innovative thinking and the cultivation of imagination that will produce detailed personality traits: in this time range, there is no need to control the child too much, let him play and win by himself. Cultivate his sense of warmth.

The creation of temperament: create a definition, distinguish right from wrong, put cultural education in short stories, and be less rational. There is a saying: if you are used to good relations, you will be arrogant and rude; If you are used to being responsive, you will feel insecure and depressed. Children's self-confidence and self-esteem are the most important. Parents should attach great importance to this.

(2) 6- 13 years old, love is equivalent to a coach.

Self-confidence cultivation: we must follow the child's hobbies, not to make him famous and married. We should use thumb culture education instead of ring finger culture education. There is no doubt that it should be done 20 thousand times before 13 years old. Praise must be publicly criticized immediately, and it must be serious and relaxed. Sandwich culture education can be introduced here: defects fall into advantages and accusations fall into expectations. What's the matter? What's the matter? Correct your mistakes once and you will get better and better.

Habit formation: attach great importance to the key points, and everything must go through your own diligence and honesty.

Reward and punishment: care about his hobbies until it is time to give him a reward, which will undoubtedly move him. Don't publicly reprimand him, and maintain his self-esteem. Even if the child makes a mistake and is angry with you, you should separate things from love. If you make a mistake, you should be blamed and punished, but the punishment is not to vent your dissatisfaction, but to educate and love. Every culture and education is linked with love.

Volunteer training: they are all cultivated by themselves or on their own, doing their own things, being careful and meticulous. Parents do it instead of him, but they can't replace life; Teach him to do it, and he can use it all his life.

Play and study: Hobbies are the best teachers. If you have fun, you can study hard.

(3) 12- 18 years old, love is equivalent to attention.

He walked on a self-centered road: I have grown up and the rules are fair. Talk to children like friends.

Parent-teacher: Don't take the teacher's famous words as a letter. Let the teacher look at the child with appreciation: where does the child develop? All the children are afraid of the teacher's criticism. It is important that children like teachers.

Schoolwork and exam results: children's mental health is more critical than academic performance. A temporary test score cannot represent the success or failure of a lifetime, but the success of a lifetime can only be forged by continuous success. Don't let children feel guilty and ashamed because of poor exam results.

Give a service platform: encourage going to the library and shape the habit of reading articles. Sign up for fitness training group activities. Incentive starts from the first step on the premise of safety. Let children enjoy life and sign up for summer camp.

To the mode: who is in the same industry and who to learn from. Appropriate overall goal, incentive to achieve. Pay more attention, communicate more and contact more. Touching is very harmful to children's psychological state, and it conveys understanding, trust and concern. Always remember to turn home into a warm harbor in every child's heart, instead of turning home into a testing ground.

Three stages of loving children, accompanying the coach to respect 2. How to love children?

For children, the love of parents is as important as the sun and water that breed all life on earth. However, such an important feeling will also have unexpected "misunderstanding of love." In today's family, around the theme of "love", there have been "five major conflicts" between the adult world and the minor world, resulting in "five excesses" and "five noes"

First, the high expectations of parents bring children hopelessness; Second, parents' excessive interference brings children's helplessness; Third, the over-protection of parents has brought about the incompetence of children; Fourth, parents' excessive concern brings children's ruthlessness; Fifth, parents' excessive accusations bring children's helplessness.

We must first reflect on ourselves, because what kind of parents can raise what kind of children. So, what is true love? How should we love children today?

Share with you 10 "Love Method".

First, look at children with loving eyes;

Second, face the child with a loving smile;

Third, listen to children with love;

Fourth, look for children with loving eyes;

Fifth, mobilize children with the desire for love;

Sixth, infect children with the details of love;

Seven, encourage children with the language of love;

Eight, discipline children with love;

Nine, tolerate children with a loving attitude;

Ten, return the opportunity of love to the child.

We are fortunate to be today's parents, so we can't forget that parents' responsibility is to sow love, cultivate love and spread love in their children's hearts; We are fortunate enough to cultivate today's children, so let them understand that their responsibility is to find love, feel love and carry forward love.

One of the ways of love: look at children with loving eyes

The eyes of love are the source of nutrition for children's growth. When communicating with children, adults often love their eyes more than their words. 93-year-old Japanese pediatrician Mr. Naito Shouqilang is also a famous educator. He believes that even a two-year-old child can control himself as long as he understands the truth. So, he put forward a resounding slogan: "Are the eyes of love enough?" This slogan has been put forward for more than half a century, and it still sounds very kind. Love eyes can make you a trustworthy friend! No wonder some people say that "the eyes are the windows to the soul". It turns out that this window can send a lot of information, and the most important thing is: I believe you!

If your child becomes restless, you can think about it. Is it because the child lacks loving eyes? If your child becomes silent, do you ask yourself if you love your child enough?

The second way of love: face the child with a loving smile.

For children, adult facial expressions are very important. A smile can illuminate everyone who sees it. Just as the sun passes through dark clouds, it brings warmth to people. My daughter asked me more than once, mom, why don't you smile at me? At first, I didn't care. However, gradually, I found that every morning when I came home from work, I called her first, smiled at her and said good morning or how are you today? When calling the baby, she is very happy, very happy, and then she will be happy to do what she should do. Come to think of it, yes, smiling is actually not difficult. How can I be stingy? The tiredness and annoyance of work and a lot of troubles make our expression stiff, but children are angels, so we should not bring them to our side too early to give them a clear sky in their growing hearts. This is what we can do.

Children all like people who love to laugh. Laughter is the language of love. You smile at him, which expresses your inner feelings: "I love you!" " I like you! You make me happy. I'm glad to meet you. "Children who grow up with a smile tend to form an optimistic and positive attitude. No matter how busy, tired and annoyed parents are, don't forget to give their children a smile.

The third way to love: listen to children with love.

A famous psychologist believes that it is the best gift for parents to let children express all their feelings-positive and negative-through language.

Children often want their parents to share their happiness and troubles, while our parents often only like "good news" and don't like "bad news". In the long run, children are disappointed and feel that it is useless to say anything to their parents. Might as well be buried in their hearts. Over time, negative emotions can't be vented and resolved. If they accumulate to a certain extent, they may erupt and become a confrontational emotion, which will bring harm to children and families.

Whether adults or children, only when they feel that the other person can really understand his thoughts will they listen to what the other person says. Parents, as listeners, give their children attention, respect and time, which is the most effective help for their children.

Listening is an art.

1, make a listening gesture.

Look up at the child, don't condescend.

Lean forward slightly, which is a gesture of interest.

Don't be a wall. For example, holding arms with both hands or turning pages while listening are obstacles for children.

Listen with your eyes. Look at the talking child with wide eyes and naturally express your interest and pleasure with your eyes.

Step 2 show interest in listening

The most disappointing thing for the speaker is to hear the other party say, "I knew it long ago." Some parents lack this respect for their children. The child only said a few words, and the adults became impatient: "I know! Got it! Leave me alone! " "Do what you have to do, who has time to listen to you!" The child was disappointed as a result. When parents care about their children, we should not only care about their warmth, food, clothing, housing and transportation, but also care about what they are interested in. If you are interested in topics that children care about, you will be interested in talking with children.

3. convey your attentive listening attitude to your children.

The best compliment to a child is to let the child know that you have listened carefully to everything he said.

Communicate with expression changes. For example, keep smiling and always show surprise.

Express in words. When listening to your child, express your interest in simple words, such as "Is this true?" "Your idea is so good, please continue!" Wait a minute.

Perhaps you will find that no matter how simple the topic of children is, if you want to show interest, then interest will naturally arise. If you always look calm, silent and careless, you will let your children down very much. Chekhov, a great Russian writer, once said: The reason why a mother can't be replaced by outsiders in educating her children is because she can feel, cry and laugh with her children ... It is useless to rely solely on theories and lessons.

The fourth method of love: look for children with loving eyes.

Growing children need to find it most. What did you find? A child's strengths. Who will take their own shortcomings as living conditions? People should foster strengths and avoid weaknesses. If you often show your strengths, others will think he is good and he will work hard in a better direction. Only by looking at children with loving eyes can we find their strengths. As President Qian Hongshi of Qianmen Primary School in Beijing said, "As long as you pay attention to your children, you will make dusty gold shine!"

To find a child's strengths, we can start from the following three aspects:

1, found differences.

Just as there are no identical leaves in the world, there are no identical children in the world. The responsibility of parents is to discover the difference of their children.

Edison was too fond of opening things when he was a child to put them back, but Edison's mother firmly believed that this was his son's greatest advantage. Encouragingly, Edison became more and more practical and eventually became a great inventor. It can be said that without Edison's mother, there would be no Edison's success. It was she who discovered her son's uniqueness and talent.

So, what's different about your children? If you don't find out, you may kill a genius, even though you didn't mean to. Everyone is different, and this difference may be his best place.

Step 2 find the bright spot

The children are making progress every day. Parents and teachers should discover children like Columbus discovered the New World, especially be good at discovering the bright spots of backward children, so that every child can walk with his head up.

Step 3 find the emotional point

The child's heart is pure, and the child's mood is delicate. If we want to be friends with children, we must find their sincerity and listen to their sincere voices. Children's love for their loved ones is often manifested in nuances, which are often easily overlooked and misunderstood.

A child said to me, "I gave my mother a present on her birthday." But my mother said,' How much will it cost you to buy these?' I was very angry at that time and felt that all my good intentions were in vain. The next day, I found my mother looking at my present carefully. I'm glad to know that my mother still likes my gift. If only she didn't speak in that tone. "

Small things often happen in family life, but it is not difficult for us to find the sincerity and love of children. Being good at discovery is a magic weapon for us to approach and communicate with children.

The fifth method of love: mobilize children with the desire of love.

Loving eyes, loving smile; Listen to the children and find them. You will find that infection, encouragement and tolerance are all love, and so are creating desire, boldly disciplining and giving opportunities! Desire can bring happiness to children.

Today's material living standard has been greatly improved. However, doting parents do not find that too much material actually deprives their children of happiness. Everything comes easily. They don't care, cherish or get excited. When the child didn't want to take the stroller, his parents bought it for him, and he lost interest in learning to drive; His parents had to buy books that he didn't want to read. He doesn't even read them, but the books he borrowed are eager to read ... when the strong demand is met, happiness comes. A glass of water is better than gold for a person who is extremely thirsty.

How unfortunate it would be if a child never longed for anything! People always want what they can't get, but they don't cherish what they can get easily. To be truly responsible for children, leave some room for them to look forward to!

The sixth method of love: infect children with the details of love.

Details are the most contagious. In a novel, it is often not the grand scene that makes people cry, but some small details. People who are good at discovering love, feeling love and stringing the details of love into "pearls" will become the richest people in the world. Because this "pearl" makes him full of enthusiasm for life.

Where does people's enthusiasm come from? From the feeling of love. When you feel that people around you love you, you will naturally have the enthusiasm to return your love. Therefore, it is not enough to give love to children. It is important for children to learn to experience love and turn it into enthusiasm for life and people around them.

The seventh method of love: encourage children with the language of love.

Family education is accomplished through family language. If we can change the past attitude of one training, two scolding and three beating, and persuade education patiently with a "great" attitude, what effect will we receive?

The language of love can cultivate children who know how to love, and the encouragement of love can change a child's fate! So, where does the encouragement of love come from? Changes from parents themselves. When parents change their mentality, they change their vision and language: they change "something in their eyes" into "someone in their eyes"; Change "focus on points" to "people-oriented"; Turn critical and dissatisfied eyes into appreciative and satisfied eyes; Turn the language of irony and negation into the language of praise and affirmation ... so, the encouragement of love appears! Miracles will happen!

The eighth method of love: discipline children with love.

To love children is by no means to indulge them and let them go with the flow. Parents must boldly discipline their children and restrain their misconduct. Discipline and love should be closely combined, and both are indispensable. Discipline is an art, in which there are several points to pay attention to:

1, cultivate children's awareness of respecting their parents.

The relationship between children and their parents is the most important social relationship that children face first, which is the basis of the attitude children adopt when interacting with others. Therefore, it is responsible for children's life to let them respect their parents. As an educator said, "If you can't let a 5-year-old pick up toys from the ground, you can't exercise any effective control during the period when the child enters adolescence."

Don't let unreasonable children benefit.

Parents must not be soft-hearted if their children are unreasonable or stubbornly refuse to listen to advice. If they are soft-hearted, the children will be "hopeless" You know, how many "little bullies" are conniving at bad middle schools! Therefore, parents should have a belief that every time a child makes trouble unreasonably, he must never benefit, especially for the first time.

After strict discipline, it is the best time to communicate.

When the "fierce battle" between parents and children stops and the child's nonsense fails, he will understand that he is "self-inflicted" and often makes intimate moves to his parents, hoping to snuggle up in their arms. Parents should welcome him with warm arms. This is often the best time for parents to communicate with their children. You can talk to him patiently, and he will listen to you easily at this time.

After criticizing older children, we should encourage them appropriately and meet the reasonable part of their demands. This is equivalent to telling the child that his parents love him and that it is not himself but his misconduct that his parents deny him. In this way, disciplining children will have a loving ending.

The ninth method of love: hug the child with love.

The growth of children needs a broad space. The French writer Hugo has a very apt metaphor: "The ocean is the widest in the world, the sky is wider than the ocean, and the human mind is wider than the sky." A broad mind can accommodate everything, and parents' hearts can accommodate all kinds of children.

As parents, we should tolerate those poor naughty children and the so-called "problem children"; As a society, we should tolerate children with "problem parents". No matter who the child's parents are, even criminals, we must firmly believe that "the child is innocent"!

All children in the world need tolerance. The famous educator Suhomlinski said: "Sometimes the moral shock brought by tolerance is stronger than punishment." Parental tolerance will give children more room to grow up.

The tenth method of love: give back the chance of love to children.

Love is a feeling. A person can only feel his own value when he is needed by others. A child can only feel how great his young life is when he is needed by adults.

For children, giving others love, others can understand, accept and feel it, which is happier than accepting the love of adults! However, many of our parents monopolize the opportunity of children's love!

A girl was doing her homework at home, and her father came back from work. She immediately made a cup of tea and handed it to her father: "Dad, please have tea!" " "Who knows, my father said coldly," Go, go, do your homework! "Whoever uses you to pour tea, get more 100 points, better than anything!" The spark of love in the child's heart was ruthlessly extinguished by his parents. Gradually, the child understood that his parents asked him to get high marks and go to key schools, and nothing else was needed. However, this is not the goal that all children can achieve! As a result, many children become disheartened, no longer care about others, and don't know how to love others.

In the one-child family, children are surrounded by all kinds of adult love. Children have no chance to love adults, but they are loved to death by adults. According to the survey, 18.72% students don't take part in any housework at all; 47.78% students only take part in housework below 1 hour. 4 1. 19% of parents put foot washing water in front of their children!

In this way, parents are tired and children have nothing to do. Over time, children have such a diagnosis in their minds, which parents should do!

Parents who really love their children should be weak in front of them and give them a chance to love others. Don't always treat yourself as a mountain, treat your children as grass, let your children rely on you, look up to you and fear you; Don't be a big umbrella, treat your child as a chicken, shelter your child from the wind and rain, and make your child vulnerable. Change your position, change your image! Let children become mountains, and children will grow into mountains; Let the child be a big umbrella, and the child can stand tall.