In an advanced mathematics class, the teacher asked my brother, "Calculus is a very useful subject. What is the goal of our study of calculus? " The man deserted at that time. Without thinking, he shouted, "No cavities!" " "The whole class burst into laughter.
The first thing I used to say when I went back to the dormitory was, "Did anyone call me ...? "
Once I was in a hurry and wanted to tell the truth. As a result, "the elephant is really white."
One day, I waited for dinner for a long time. I was impatient and shouted, "Rice, why hasn't my lady come yet?" Hurry up! " "
One day, I was wandering in the street with some friends. One friend shouted "Look, beauty", and another friend took a look and said disdainfully, "What's there to see? She is already the child of two mothers. "
I dropped something at my deskmate, so I bent down to pick it up. I stepped on it with my foot, but I stepped on its hand. He was furious: "Dare to step on my foot with your hand? ! "
Tigers don't send cats, you think I'm dying!
Someone went to my aunt's house before, and they just came in. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll pour you some urine!" " "I should pour some tea.
One of my colleagues surnamed Sun answered the phone one day and the other party asked, What's your name? Answer: I am your grandson.
Biology teacher: We should thank bacteria and microorganisms. Without them, the earth would be covered with the bodies of the past, and your ancestors of 100 generations are still vivid.
Geography teacher: When we China people were barbarians, we were active in the Yellow River valley. So some people say that it is no wonder that we are yellow people, that is, people who ran out of the Yellow River basin.
Biology teacher: the fossils unearthed from the middle to both sides of the syncline will become newer and newer, and even the fossils of your ancestors will be unearthed in the outermost area.
My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating.
Once in the street, I met a woman who was training her: What do you know? Know that food is delicious and shit is delicious!
The leader of a certain unit spoke: During the May Day holiday this year, our unit arranged the overall situation as follows: "On the first morning, gay men took a bath and lesbians visited. In the afternoon, lesbians take a bath and gays visit. You can move freely for the remaining two days. "
I remember once going to KFC with my friends. When I was waiting in line, I muttered, a chicken leg burger and a pair of chicken wings. It's my turn I wanted to say "Miss, a chicken leg hamburger", and the result was "calf, a hamburger." The audience laughed.
When I boarded the plane for the first time, the stewardess greeted me at the door of the cabin. When she saw me coming in with a ticket, she asked, "Which seat are you sitting in?" I blurted out, "I'm Scorpio, and you?" The stewardess replied, "Cancer. I mean, what is your seat? "
Chemistry teacher: "This question was in 2000." -200000?
English teacher: "Find out the key requirements of this problem and draw it for me." -Teacher, your face is really difficult to draw.
At the parent-teacher conference. Head teacher: "I have a sister. My sister is younger than me. " Of course my sister is younger than you. This is a fact.
Mr. Huang took his son to the station and saw a No.8 bus pull into the station in the distance. He immediately shouted to his son: "Huang Jun, run, the 8 th is coming!" "
Reporter: "Are you happy?" The farmer looked at the reporter several times and said innocently, "My surname is Wang."
When I was a child, I visited the bookstore, and the light was quite dark that day. Then I heard a child screaming in front of the counter: Aunt, I want to kill the pig myth. I looked at my aunt in horror, and she followed the child's fingers and looked blankly on the shelf. Finally, we all saw Greek mythology.
General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man! General fu said to him: I am just! General Zuo Quan said: I have this right! General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first!
A math teacher was talking about equation transformation. On the platform, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……
A classmate was making trouble below, and the teacher said, "stand on the blackboard for me!" ! "-It's hard.
The teacher likes to devote himself to this topic ... "My base radius is 20 cm, and my height is 50 cm, so I ..." Someone below said "I'm a fool ..." The whole class burst into laughter. ...
When there is labor class in primary schools, it is usually weeding, so the teacher has to remind us to bring hoes the day before school starts. The next day, when the labor class was about to leave, the teacher asked, "How many people brought it?" Hands up, hoe! "
Once I asked a nearsighted person how many degrees his eyes were. He wanted to say 400 degrees, but when he spoke, it turned into 400 watts, and his stomach ached with laughter!
Me: Welcome to KFC. what can I do for you? Customer: Can you tell me how to get to the nearby McDonald's?
I met a girl who I had been longing for for for a long time and came out of the bathhouse. I wanted to be close. For a long time, I said, "Are there many men in your bath?"
Once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure and suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use soothing treasure?"
Teachers and students, the topic I recited was: Red leaves are crazy (maple leaf) ... (maple leaf red).
Steal the bell at lightning speed.
"With the whistle of the goalkeeper, the game was over."
"... ladies and gentlemen, just after the Mid-Autumn Festival, I want to pay tribute to your old age ... (Nothing to say)"
"Now China goalkeeper Fan Zhiyi will take a free kick ..."
"Just last week, a birthday ceremony was held."
"I saw a two-legged defender, two four-legged players and three players ... (dumbfounded)"
Hunting roe deer to catch fish, pheasant flies to bed.
Once I borrowed money from others, and I wanted to say, "I'll pay you back when I get the money." Say, "I'll take you when I have money."
Our Chinese teacher: Please turn to 120 yuan.
A buddy gets married and gives a red envelope. Dude, say no politely. I said, that won't do. Once a year, be sure to bring it.
In junior high school, the character read "White-haired Girl". A boy (Yang Bailao): I pulled two Jin of red rope and tied it for my daughter ... Teacher: This is not a mummy. ...
When I went to buy cakes, I wanted to say "two yellow pears send an egg tower", but the result was "two orioles sing an egg tower"
There were rats at home for a while, and my mother bought rat poison to keep the family quiet, but there was no medicine for any rats. One morning, my mother got up and looked at the rat poison in the janitor's corner and said to herself, "Why doesn't anyone take this medicine?" ~ ~ ~ "The whole family fainted.
Until I raised my cup, asked the bright moon and sank again, I suddenly remembered home.
In physics class, the teacher talked about radioactive elements and said: radioactive elements are very dangerous, so you humans must stay away! ! We: ......
I received a phone call at the company, which was promoted by a clothing company and kept saying that I would make uniforms for a big company. I grabbed the gap between each other's speeches and blurted out: "Our company is not in dressing the!" The other party whispered for a few seconds, said "I'm sorry" and hung up.
Go back to the dormitory after studying at night, Liu Yuxian mm, and then follow. I always wanted to strike up a conversation, but I didn't have the courage to go forward until fairy mm was about to enter the girls' building. I gritted my teeth and stepped forward to ask mm loudly: Excuse me, classmate, are you a woman? Later ... later, I enjoyed the white eyes of the fairy mm for two years.
Students' graduation works are made of big red cloth and sewn on black robes. The defense teacher asked: Why does Phoenix use red instead of other colors? When that classmate was excited, he blurted out: Because the phoenix is burning! !
When I was in junior high school, my teacher told me to recite Mulan (the teacher was BT), and I was nervous. "... When Adi heard that his sister was coming, he sharpened his knife to his parents (pigs and sheep) ..." The whole class laughed and laughed at himself, but he forgot the rest. Fortunately, the teacher didn't punish him ~ ~
I buy sanitary napkins for my wife. As a result, I went to the store for a long time and didn't know what to buy. I just took a bag and asked the owner, "Boss, is this easy to use?" The boss (male) looked at me for 5 minutes and said, "I haven't used this either!" " "
When I was a child, my father watched me write a composition. There is a simple mistake in writing. The father smiled and said to his mother, "I find your son very stupid." I was in a hurry and said loudly to my father, "Your son is so stupid!"
My mother once went to the bank to pay the water bill. After paying the money, the bank said that you don't have enough money. This is the second page. This should also be handed in. My mother: What's the second page? Staff: Sewage. My mother: My family never drinks sewage.
The director of our senior three office once again angrily scolded us for not listening to the class and said, "Don't blame me for being inhuman if you do this again!" "
The math teacher's trademark action-putting up two fingers, said to the students: "Students, the key to learning math well is three words! ! Do more exercises! ! "
One day, I went to worship Guanyin with my parents and my brother. I didn't wake up, so I went forward for a stop and said, Guanyin Bodhisattva, who is suffering? ...
In Chinese class, the teacher talked about "Bai Weiling Beauty" and said, "Today's Bai Weiling Beauty is not a mermaid. Everyone knows what a mermaid is, right? Is the thing that the upper body is a fish and the lower body is a person ... "
One of my colleagues is a little girl who just graduated. One day, she went to visit a client. She was very nervous. The first thing she said when she met the customer was: Mr. Wang, may I have your name? Can I have a business card?
On the bus, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd. The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?" The man felt puzzled and replied, "Do you have any medicine?" The people in the car snickered! The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?" The man said coldly, "Can it be cured?" The whole car is hilarious!
When I was a child, I listened to Xintianyou: "I bowed my head to the ravine" and always felt that it was "my head, like a ravine".
"Wait once in a thousand years, wait once-",someone heard: "A thousand-year-old female ghost, a female ghost-"
At that time, the closing song of the super variety show: "Goodbye, goodbye, meet in front of the color screen …" sounded like "Meet in the morgue …". Later, it was estimated that the audience had too much opinions and changed it to "Meet in Applause".
How many good sisters do you have? There is a saying, "Why does every girl marry a tear?". How should I listen? It's all "why does every girl have to marry a human"!
"The most romantic thing I can think of is growing old with you", which sounds like "The most romantic thing I can think of is selling computers with you ..."
Once our department held a regular meeting, and our department tried to take turns to chair the meeting. It was my turn to chair the meeting that day. When the previous person had finished speaking, I pointed to an uncle who should speak and said, "Now it's his turn to speak!" " .
Our leader's congratulatory message: "I wish you all good health and a happy New Year ... (Nothing to say)"
A classmate wrote: "Dear Premier Zhou has only four big words in his heart: serving the people!" Teacher's comment: Your Chinese teacher can forgive you, but your math teacher can never tolerate you!
One day by train, there were some wild donkeys outside. I suddenly patted my mother: "wild donkey!" " Look! "My mother:" I am a wild donkey? ! "The whole car laughed.
A classmate announced in class: "XXX is a' pig monster'!" XXX: "I am not a pig!" " "
Math teacher: "If you talk again, I'll slap you in the face and kick you out ..."
Our political teacher: "People must be divided into raw and cooked ..... One day, students lined up in the playground, and the teacher stood in the middle and said," Men stand on the left, women stand on the right, and the rest stand in the middle!
In an advanced mathematics class, the teacher asked my brother, "Calculus is a very useful subject. What is the goal of our study of calculus? " The man deserted at that time. Without thinking, he shouted, "No cavities!" " "The whole class burst into laughter.
The first thing I used to say when I went back to the dormitory was, "Did anyone call me ...? "
Once I was in a hurry and wanted to tell the truth. As a result, "the elephant is really white."
One day, I waited for dinner for a long time. I was impatient and shouted, "Rice, why hasn't my lady come yet?" Hurry up! " "
One day, I was wandering in the street with some friends. One friend shouted "Look, beauty", and another friend took a look and said disdainfully, "What's there to see? She is already the child of two mothers. "
I dropped something at my deskmate, so I bent down to pick it up. I stepped on it with my foot, but I stepped on its hand. He was furious: "Dare to step on my foot with your hand? ! "
Tigers don't send cats, you think I'm dying!
Someone went to my aunt's house before, and they just came in. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll pour you some urine!" " "I should pour some tea.
One of my colleagues surnamed Sun answered the phone one day and the other party asked, What's your name? Answer: I am your grandson.
Biology teacher: We should thank bacteria and microorganisms. Without them, the earth would be covered with the bodies of the past, and your ancestors of 100 generations are still vivid.
Geography teacher: When we China people were barbarians, we were active in the Yellow River valley. So some people say that it is no wonder that we are yellow people, that is, people who ran out of the Yellow River basin.
Biology teacher: the fossils unearthed from the middle to both sides of the syncline will become newer and newer, and even the fossils of your ancestors will be unearthed in the outermost area.
My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating.
Once in the street, I met a woman who was training her: What do you know? Know that food is delicious and shit is delicious!
The leader of a certain unit spoke: During the May Day holiday this year, our unit arranged the overall situation as follows: "On the first morning, gay men took a bath and lesbians visited. In the afternoon, lesbians take a bath and gays visit. You can move freely for the remaining two days. "
I remember once going to KFC with my friends. When I was waiting in line, I muttered, a chicken leg burger and a pair of chicken wings. It's my turn I wanted to say "Miss, a chicken leg hamburger", and the result was "calf, a hamburger." The audience laughed.
When I boarded the plane for the first time, the stewardess greeted me at the door of the cabin. When she saw me coming in with a ticket, she asked, "Which seat are you sitting in?" I blurted out, "I'm Scorpio, and you?" The stewardess replied, "Cancer. I mean, what is your seat? "
Chemistry teacher: "This question was in 2000." -200000?
English teacher: "Find out the key requirements of this problem and draw it for me." -Teacher, your face is really difficult to draw.
At the parent-teacher conference. Head teacher: "I have a sister. My sister is younger than me. " Of course my sister is younger than you. This is a fact.
Mr. Huang took his son to the station and saw a No.8 bus pull into the station in the distance. He immediately shouted to his son: "Huang Jun, run, the 8 th is coming!" "
Reporter: "Are you happy?" The farmer looked at the reporter several times and said innocently, "My surname is Wang."
When I was a child, I visited the bookstore, and the light was quite dark that day. Then I heard a child screaming in front of the counter: Aunt, I want to kill the pig myth. I looked at my aunt in horror, and she followed the child's fingers and looked blankly on the shelf. Finally, we all saw Greek mythology.
General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man! General fu said to him: I am just! General Zuo Quan said: I have this right! General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first!
A math teacher was talking about equation transformation. On the platform, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……
A classmate was making trouble below, and the teacher said, "stand on the blackboard for me!" ! "-It's hard.
The teacher likes to devote himself to this topic ... "My base radius is 20 cm, and my height is 50 cm, so I ..." Someone below said "I'm a fool ..." The whole class burst into laughter. ...
When there is labor class in primary schools, it is usually weeding, so the teacher has to remind us to bring hoes the day before school starts. The next day, when the labor class was about to leave, the teacher asked, "How many people brought it?" Hands up, hoe! "
Once I asked a nearsighted person how many degrees his eyes were. He wanted to say 400 degrees, but when he spoke, it turned into 400 watts, and his stomach ached with laughter!
Me: Welcome to KFC. what can I do for you? Customer: Can you tell me how to get to the nearby McDonald's?
I met a girl who I had been longing for for for a long time and came out of the bathhouse. I wanted to be close. For a long time, I said, "Are there many men in your bath?"
Once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure and suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use soothing treasure?"
Teachers and students, the topic I recited was: Red leaves are crazy (maple leaf) ... (maple leaf red).
Steal the bell at lightning speed.
"With the whistle of the goalkeeper, the game was over."
"... ladies and gentlemen, just after the Mid-Autumn Festival, I want to pay tribute to your old age ... (Nothing to say)"
"Now China goalkeeper Fan Zhiyi will take a free kick ..."
"Just last week, a birthday ceremony was held."
"I saw a two-legged defender, two four-legged players and three players ... (dumbfounded)"
Hunting roe deer to catch fish, pheasant flies to bed.
Once I borrowed money from others, and I wanted to say, "I'll pay you back when I get the money." Say, "I'll take you when I have money."
Our Chinese teacher: Please turn to 120 yuan.
A buddy gets married and gives a red envelope. Dude, say no politely. I said, that won't do. Once a year, be sure to bring it.
In junior high school, the character read "White-haired Girl". A boy (Yang Bailao): I pulled two Jin of red rope and tied it for my daughter ... Teacher: This is not a mummy. ...
When I went to buy cakes, I wanted to say "two yellow pears send an egg tower", but the result was "two orioles sing an egg tower"
There were rats at home for a while, and my mother bought rat poison to keep the family quiet, but there was no medicine for any rats. One morning, my mother got up and looked at the rat poison in the janitor's corner and said to herself, "Why doesn't anyone take this medicine?" ~ ~ ~ "The whole family fainted.
Until I raised my cup, asked the bright moon and sank again, I suddenly remembered home.
In physics class, the teacher talked about radioactive elements and said: radioactive elements are very dangerous, so you humans must stay away! ! We: ......
I received a phone call at the company, which was promoted by a clothing company and kept saying that I would make uniforms for a big company. I grabbed the gap between each other's speeches and blurted out: "Our company is not in dressing the!" The other party whispered for a few seconds, said "I'm sorry" and hung up.
Go back to the dormitory after studying at night, Liu Yuxian mm, and then follow. I always wanted to strike up a conversation, but I didn't have the courage to go forward until fairy mm was about to enter the girls' building. I gritted my teeth and stepped forward to ask mm loudly: Excuse me, classmate, are you a woman? Later ... later, I enjoyed the white eyes of the fairy mm for two years.
Students' graduation works are made of big red cloth and sewn on black robes. The defense teacher asked: Why does Phoenix use red instead of other colors? When that classmate was excited, he blurted out: Because the phoenix is burning! !
When I was in junior high school, my teacher told me to recite Mulan (the teacher was BT), and I was nervous. "... When Adi heard that his sister was coming, he sharpened his knife to his parents (pigs and sheep) ..." The whole class laughed and laughed at himself, but he forgot the rest. Fortunately, the teacher didn't punish him ~ ~
I buy sanitary napkins for my wife. As a result, I went to the store for a long time and didn't know what to buy. I just took a bag and asked the owner, "Boss, is this easy to use?" The boss (male) looked at me for 5 minutes and said, "I haven't used this either!" " "
When I was a child, my father watched me write a composition. There is a simple mistake in writing. The father smiled and said to his mother, "I find your son very stupid." I was in a hurry and said loudly to my father, "Your son is so stupid!"
My mother once went to the bank to pay the water bill. After paying the money, the bank said that you don't have enough money. This is the second page. This should also be handed in. My mother: What's the second page? Staff: Sewage. My mother: My family never drinks sewage.
The director of our senior three office once again angrily scolded us for not listening to the class and said, "Don't blame me for being inhuman if you do this again!" "
The math teacher's trademark action-putting up two fingers, said to the students: "Students, the key to learning math well is three words! ! Do more exercises! ! "
One day, I went to worship Guanyin with my parents and my brother. I didn't wake up, so I went forward for a stop and said, Guanyin Bodhisattva, who is suffering? ...
In Chinese class, the teacher talked about "Bai Weiling Beauty" and said, "Today's Bai Weiling Beauty is not a mermaid. Everyone knows what a mermaid is, right? Is the thing that the upper body is a fish and the lower body is a person ... "
One of my colleagues is a little girl who just graduated. One day, she went to visit a client. She was very nervous. The first thing she said when she met the customer was: Mr. Wang, may I have your name? Can I have a business card?
On the bus, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd. The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?" The man felt puzzled and replied, "Do you have any medicine?" The people in the car snickered! The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?" The man said coldly, "Can it be cured?" The whole car is hilarious!
When I was a child, I listened to Xintianyou: "I bowed my head to the ravine" and always felt that it was "my head, like a ravine".
"Wait once in a thousand years, wait once-",someone heard: "A thousand-year-old female ghost, a female ghost-"
At that time, the closing song of the super variety show: "Goodbye, goodbye, meet in front of the color screen …" sounded like "Meet in the morgue …". Later, it was estimated that the audience had too much opinions and changed it to "Meet in Applause".
How many good sisters do you have? There is a saying, "Why does every girl marry a tear?". How should I listen? It's all "why does every girl have to marry a human"!
"The most romantic thing I can think of is growing old with you", which sounds like "The most romantic thing I can think of is selling computers with you ..."
Once our department held a regular meeting, and our department tried to take turns to chair the meeting. It was my turn to chair the meeting that day. When the previous person had finished speaking, I pointed to an uncle who should speak and said, "Now it's his turn to speak!" " .
Our leader's congratulatory message: "I wish you good health and a happy new year ... (nothing to say)"
A classmate wrote: "Dear Premier Zhou has only four big words in his heart: serving the people!" Teacher's comment: Your Chinese teacher can forgive you, but your math teacher can never tolerate you!
One day by train, there were some wild donkeys outside. I suddenly patted my mother: "wild donkey!" " Look! "My mother:" I am a wild donkey? ! "The whole car laughed.
A classmate announced in class: "XXX is a' pig monster'!" XXX: "I am not a pig!" " "
Math teacher: "If you talk again, I'll slap you in the face and kick you out ..."
Our political teacher: "People must distinguish the unfamiliar from the familiar ... (I don't know the others). For example, I am familiar with ... (I haven't reacted yet) "The whole class burst into laughter.