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[007] "I lost fifty pounds!" : the road of psychological counselors to lose weight "
Book in 2022 18/ 100: "I lost 50 pounds! The author of the psychological diet implemented by psychological counselors is slowly.

Through self-introduction, weight loss prequel, weight loss journey, epiphany moment and growth story, the author introduces that he lost 50 pounds, which is not so much a weight loss book as an inner exploration, starting from the aspects of consciousness anxiety, self-acceptance, light food and emotional management.

"Psychological diet" means that we should not only reflect on and change the living habits that lead to obesity, but also find the psychological reasons for becoming fat through deep exploration and cognition of our own consciousness, change our accusations and non-acceptance, and thus change various bad habits that affect our health and figure.

If you always eat more than you need, then this food is not what your stomach needs, but what your heart needs. Our hearts don't need food. It needs love, tolerance and acceptance. Every bite of food you eat may fill your unmet need for love.

First of all, consciousness anxiety.

Looking back now, this kind of anxiety in the transition period is very necessary. It can even be said that it is a gift from heaven, which makes us awake from chaos, firm from being at a loss, and purposeful from muddling along.

When I indulge myself in overeating, I seem to deserve it, but I am not really free, but a slave to desires and bad habits.

Second, self-acceptance

An important part of self-acceptance is to accept your emotions and feelings without criticizing them.

The powerful self-criticism mechanism puts me in a dangerous state of being out of reason and emotion. I don't accept my emotions and feelings, and I don't believe the information that my feelings convey to me. When you can't feel love, you have to force yourself to believe that there is love. I clearly felt the pain after the injury, but I didn't allow myself to admit the fact of the injury.

Learn self-acceptance, let me slowly not embarrass myself and allow myself to have various feelings. There is nothing right or wrong. All emotions and feelings deserve our 100% acceptance and respect.

Disliking yourself sometimes makes people change for fear that others will not like it, but the real progress is not driven by dissatisfaction and anxiety, but attracted by beautiful goals. Real progress is to experience the joy of growth with self-acceptance, not the revenge pleasure of those who owe or hurt themselves after achieving their goals.

During World War II, a quiet prayer by niebuhr, a famous American theologian, was widely circulated and comforted many people in the war. I especially like this prayer. He said, "May God grant me the serenity to accept the unchangeable, the courage to change the changeable, and the wisdom to distinguish the two."

To "accept the unchangeable", we need to let go of our stubbornness and unwillingness, admit that life will be incomplete, admit that anyone will be disappointed and despised, and stop naively imagining that everything can be saved by hard work. "Changing what can be changed" requires the courage to be responsible for yourself, to admit that your negligence or laziness has caused some shortcomings in your life, and to admit that you dare not face the problem so far. Deep thinking and exploration, as well as the courage to deny our own critical thinking, will help us distinguish the difference between the two.

The biological explanation of "night anxiety disorder" is this: At dusk, hormones used to relieve stress in the human body, such as serotonin and adrenocortical hormone, begin to decrease, making us more emotional and fragile.

Third, fast food.

Through continuous study and introspection, I realize that my anxiety stems from trying to control things that I can't control at all.

A word about fasting made my eyes shine: "As long as you are completely hungry once, you won't be afraid of the feeling of hunger again." This view is similar to the psychology of drowning therapy to treat anxiety and phobia. The idea of submergence therapy is: when the counselor feels irrational fear of something, create a situation to let him fully feel that fear. This therapy usually works wonders.

Many people who often practice fasting say that by fasting, they can slowly judge themselves-whether they are hungry or bored, hungry or tired, hungry or greedy, hungry or thirsty.

Find something interesting to do when you are bored, have a good rest when you are tired, treat yourself with healthy and low-calorie snacks when you are greedy, and drink water when you are thirsty-the key is that your body can recognize the difference between them and hunger.

The scientific principle of fasting or light fasting is this: if you don't eat for a long time during fasting, the glucose in your blood will be consumed. If you don't supplement it with food, your body will use glycogen, that is, glucose stored stably in muscles and liver. Only when glycogen is exhausted does the body start to burn fat. Fatty acids break down in the liver to produce a substance called ketone bodies. At this time, the brain uses ketone bodies instead of glycogen as the energy source. The physical discomfort at the beginning of fasting is because the fuel of the body and brain must be changed from used glucose and glycogen to ketone bodies. If the body is not used to using ketone bodies, there will be various uncomfortable performances. For example, some people feel dizzy, some people become unstable, and some people claim to feel strange, but they are uncomfortable anyway. In fact, these are normal reactions.

Fourth, emotional management.

Managing emotions with patience is the best policy. A "good man" who has endured all his life has a medical opinion called "cancer personality".

To learn emotional management, we must first learn to understand the ins and outs of our emotions, learn to explore what is hidden under emotions and what to express, and then we can channel and repair them.

1, inner child

According to psychological theory, everyone has a child inside. This so-called inner child is the part that was injured and broken when we were young, and the immature self that didn't grow up with us. The inner child has experienced a lot of pain, such as being accused, criticized, rejected, abandoned, even violated and abused. Among them, the biggest pain is that he is not supported to be his true self, but is restricted to be the person expected and demanded by others (including parents, teachers and society). With pain and fear, the inner child has been hidden in our hearts.

To connect with your inner children, you must first stop denying your shame and fear and suppressing your anger, but face them directly and be willing to take the time to feel them. The physical and mental feelings hurt in memory and the influence of these feelings on the present are the focus of attention. When we allow ourselves to immerse ourselves in these feelings, we can begin to reconnect with our beauty, strength, uniqueness and preciousness.

In the process of losing weight and fighting "night anxiety", I had a deep dialogue with myself, and I saw my grievances, complaints and fears. I allow these emotions to appear and pay enough attention to them. These emotions are slowly released because they are not suppressed. In the process of dealing with anxiety, I found that the root of anxiety is to control things that I can't control. The more control I want, the stronger my anxiety.

2. "Broken jar and broken fall" theory

The so-called "broken pot and broken fall" means that a person has done something wrong, not taking the initiative to correct or remedy it, but letting himself go, regardless of it, or even giving up on himself.

In the process of losing weight, if you want to jump out of the curse of "broken pots and broken falls", you must first lower your expectations of yourself and don't expect yourself to be a "superman" with willpower. Once you make up your mind, you can persevere and allow yourself to make mistakes and be weak. Your goal is to lose weight instead of becoming a perfect person.

3. Stop blaming yourself and stop loss in time.

Once such mistakes occur, we must do eight words: stop blaming yourself and stop loss in time.

4. From "endure" and "accept" to "enjoy"

From "endure", "accept" to "enjoy", the progress in these three stages is not inevitable. Many people do a lot of things all their lives in the stage of "forbearance", with strong restraint and forbearance, perhaps out of desire for goals or fear of giving up halfway. Although they did the right thing, they always showed a tragic and humiliating burden. On the one hand, this state will not last long, and on the other hand, it will not be easy to maintain even if the goal is achieved.

The process of "acceptance" is not very painful, but it is not positive enough. Many people lack the exploration of their own emotions and the motivation for self-growth. There is nothing wrong with them staying at this stage for many years, but the boring process makes the result less sweet.

So "enjoyment" is the best attitude towards one thing, such as losing weight. From "forbearance" that tests willpower to "acceptance" driven by reason, if you can sublimate it into "enjoyment" that you are willing and enjoy, you can not only persist in doing it, but also get satisfaction in the process in advance. People who have experienced it personally will learn a brand-new habit of thinking and behavior, which is enough to cope with various challenges and make it easier to taste happiness.

5. The generation we want to treat.

Li Zixun, a famous psychologist, has a particularly enlightening idea. He said: "We want to be a therapeutic generation!" He encouraged us to explore our own hearts, find the source of pain, and review some traumatic experiences in Origin and Fate, not to avenge and let the older generation pay for our pain, but to treat ourselves through this process, so as not to let this unhealthy relationship and model continue to affect the next generation.

Verb (abbreviation of verb) growth story

I saw that she was accumulating a kind of strength, a kind of power of change.

Expressing one's inner feelings safely and fully, including dissatisfaction with relatives and worries about the future, can greatly alleviate one's depressed emotions. Don't worry about these feelings being too negative. In fact, the positive energy in disguise is the easiest to make people crazy.

This is the greatness of life. If the time is right, the instinct of self-healing is still quite strong.

Beauty is not for others to see, and liking yourself is more important than anything else.

The greatest wealth in life is not necessarily what you have, but to experience as much as possible. You look rich, but in fact you are poor, because your life experience is too bad and your experience is pitiful.

Six, postscript

The process of writing is another rehabilitation and treatment for me. Whether it's recalling the scene where I was hurt or the harm I caused to my children, there have been many tears in my words. Crying from the heart makes me feel very comfortable. After the tears, I forgive, after the tears, I release, and my heart is washed away by tears. There is a kind of peace and tranquility after the rain.