Eiko lives with her mother because her parents are divorced. Her mother Song Qian is a gold medal physics teacher. She has always adhered to the belief that "strict teachers make excellent students", which led to Eiko's long-term depression.
Later, Eiko fled her parents and went to Shenzhen. When her parents arrived, she tried to jump into the river and commit suicide. Fortunately, she was rescued and diagnosed with moderate depression and anxiety after examination.
First, parents divorce.
The disharmony of family background and the mother's hatred for her father made Eiko want her father's love, but she could only suppress it. Even when she saw him, she had to be secretive and afraid. At the same time, I feel guilty that being kind to my father is a betrayal of my mother.
In addition, under the high-intensity oppression of her mother, Eiko's fear of her mother gradually surpassed her attachment.
Second, my mother has high expectations of herself.
After the divorce, my mother pinned all her hopes on eiko. She pays more attention to Eiko's study, grades and nutrition. On the surface, she took good care of Eiko, but at the same time, she put a lot of pressure on Eiko. For example, she had to get a 700 mark to go to Tsinghua, giving up her interest in astronomy and her desire to go to Nantah.
Eiko is a filial and clever child. She would rather keep all this in her heart in exchange for her mother's happiness.
But my mother never cares what Eiko thinks, what she needs and what she doesn't need. If Eiko hadn't cried at the seaside, I'm afraid Song Qian would never know what the problem was.
Third, the death of rockett
Eiko felt guilty about rockett's death. In the recording of insomnia in the early hours of several days in a row, she mentioned that if she could care more about Ding Yi, comfort him more, or spend more time with him, maybe he would not die.
At the same time, Ding Yi's death made Eiko no longer feel irresponsible. On the contrary, she understood Ding Yi's pain and choice, and even felt that death might be a relief.
Later, she also had the illusion that someone wanted to jump off a building. At this point, Eiko is obviously in a psychological crisis.
Fourth, Liu Jing, my closest friend, is terminally ill.
Liu Jing is the aunt of Eiko's closest neighbor. Gave Eiko support and encouragement when she was most frustrated and uncomfortable. When she learned that Liu Jing had cancer, Eiko couldn't help crying.
On the one hand, this is because Liu Jing is her closest menstruation and friend. On the other hand, Eiko feels that Liu Jing is avoiding herself, and her feeling of not being trusted is on the verge of collapse.
First, pay more attention and observe more. Usually pay more attention to the child's abnormal behavior and speech, less stimulation, and give the child a relatively free and comfortable space.
Second, listen more and talk less. Tell your children how you feel, then listen to them more and give them time to express their inner feelings and concerns.
Third, stay calm and give hope. Give understanding, accept their emotions, do not blame, do not judge, and do not try to change them.
"Rome wasn't built in a day", the relationship between parents and children is often accumulated step by step from some insignificant small frictions.
Therefore, I think parents should "nip in the bud", care more about their children, communicate more, study more, and let their children grow up in a healthy psychological environment. This requires parents to grow up first. Parents' "words and deeds" is the best education for children.