Fan Jing is thin, with high cheekbones and collarbone, and there is nowhere to hide the fine lines on his eyes and neck. But Fan Jing repeatedly stressed: "I used to be fat, but later I lost weight so fast because of losing weight and thinking all night." After so many years of waiting, this is a great harvest ... ")

I approached him and he didn't refuse.

I never imagined that I would be addicted to a teacher-student love one day. This bitter and contradictory love cost me 10 years.

Dick is my college teacher. I am 2 1 year old and he is 37 years old. At first glance, he is a very traditional and conservative middle-aged man, neither charming nor handsome, but also has a wife and daughter-but I don't know why, I was deeply attracted from the first moment I met him.

I tentatively searched for various reasons to approach Dick. Surprisingly, Dick didn't refuse.

The days when we first fell in love were full of happiness, because we were still on campus and only dared to secretly date. Meet at the supermarket 200 meters away from the school gate; Stagger the station and get on the same bus; I didn't walk into the cinema until the movie started ... At that time, I was flooded and enjoyed meeting in various ways. Dick always obeys my willfulness with a good temper, and occasionally lovingly rubs my shoulder and says, "It's really hard for you."

I never take the initiative to mention Dick's wife and daughter, but Dick occasionally tells me many stories intentionally or unintentionally-Dick and his wife were childless for many years after marriage, and at Dick's insistence, his wife took a lot of medicine and suffered a lot, and finally gave birth to a daughter; But as her daughter grew up, Dick gradually found that she and her wife no longer had anything in common. So they quarreled, had a cold war, separated, and barely lived together for their children. ...

("At that time, I was really naive. I listened to Dick, completely listening to the story, not angry or jealous. I just think seeing Dick every day is love. " When she said this, Fan Jing's expression was very strange, and her mouth pulled up some mocking smiles. )

I followed him on the plane to Shenzhen.

There was no "deviant behavior" between Dick and me until graduation.

In fact, I never thought much about the future of this relationship, but at this point, the relationship between Dick and I changed substantially-a university in Shenzhen invited Dick to attend a three-month seminar, and Dick said he would take me with him.

I lied to my family that I was admitted to a short-term refresher course in a university in Shenzhen, and then I really followed Dick on the plane to Shenzhen. Along the way, my mind was full of scenes from Japanese dramas-two people living together, simple, messy but full of romance.

But the reality is completely different. It was not until I lived with Dick that I realized that his wife and children not only really existed between us, but also became a great obstacle. Those three months were a torture for me.

I remember when I got off the plane, Dick began to call home. I was still eavesdropping with great interest. But as soon as he got to his apartment, Dick put on a worried look. First, he ran into the bathroom and didn't come out for a long time. After coming out, he nervously fiddled with the bedside telephone.

Being hung in the air for a long time, just about to lose his temper, Dick said, "Can you promise me something? Don't answer the phone in this room at any time, and don't touch my mobile phone! Because I told her the phone number here, daughter, anytime? Maybe call me! "

Looking at his pleading but serious expression, I was speechless and turned into the bathroom, only to find that Dick had taken the mobile phone in the bathroom and threw it in the corner behind the toilet. I turned and looked at myself in the mirror, feeling very wronged. ...

We started a very simple life. Dick goes to school during the day, and I am in my room, helping him with some basic translation and sorting work. In the evening, we usually eat out, find a cheap small restaurant and ask for a bottle of beer.

I tried very hard to create some romantic atmosphere, but Dick didn't seem interested in it. I deliberately went to the flower market to pick roses, but he turned a blind eye for several days; I got up early in the morning to fry "beautiful" poached eggs, but he didn't even touch them because of his high cholesterol.

At the same time, Dick often casually mentions "home". For example, after only staying for a few days, he frequently complained to me: "Our family never eats instant noodles and junk food", "How can you leave dirty clothes the next day and my family washes them the same day", and so on. Although Dick always shuts up at once, it sounds particularly harsh to me.

To make matters worse, Dick's daughter called. The phone always rings at night from time to time. Sometimes we snuggle together to watch romantic movies, and sometimes we huddle in front of the same computer to surf the Internet. Every time the phone rings, Dick will habitually put his forefinger between his lips and point at me, and then start talking happily with his daughter.

Tired of waiting, I scratched him a few times, but Dick immediately kept a straight face and almost kicked me out of bed once.

I ran out angrily, and Dick found me, said a few nice words gently, and made up-we started quarreling because of these little things, and every time we quarreled, we must repeat this scene.

One week before the end of the three-month period, I had another quarrel and suddenly felt that I couldn't get along with Dick 1 second. So I went to the railway station alone and bought a train ticket to Shanghai three days later. That night, when I waved the train ticket in front of Dick, the big man actually shed tears. He put his arm around me and said, "Wait for me! My daughter is too young. When she is older, I will divorce you! "

This is the first time Dick and I have talked about marriage.

All the money he gave me went into the safe.

After returning to Shanghai, Dick became a good father again, and I was busy looking for a job. Since we left the campus, we have seldom seen each other. I dare not call him, so I have to wait for the phone to ring all day. I deliberately chose a company far away from home to apply for the job, and signed up for night classes at the same time-I hope I don't need space, otherwise I will stay up all night, and my mind is full of beautiful scenes of my quarrel with Dick in Shenzhen.

Call once a day, have dinner together every week, travel with Dick occasionally on weekends, and find a place to travel once a year-this is the full portrayal of our love life for seven years after graduation. Strangely, once we returned to this rhythm, our feelings immediately stabilized. We hardly quarrel anymore. Dick always makes me wait, and I, plus two years in college, waited for nine years.

During these nine years, Dick gave me some money every month, sometimes thousands, sometimes only hundreds, which was his "extra money". The first time he took out the money, I didn't say anything. Dick just stuffed it into my pocket: "Even if you keep it for our future, it's at least a token of my appreciation." Just for this sentence, I accepted them and haven't moved a penny so far. I really bought a safe on purpose. The money he gave me was not deposited in the bank, but piled up in the safe-I seemed to feel that the "future" was getting closer and closer when I watched the money getting thicker and thicker.

(Fan Jing's hand is gesticulating, as if measuring the thickness of money, but she quickly hangs her hand and rubs her knees heavily, saying, "He doesn't know this detail yet!" " " )

Two relationships that were kept from him failed.

It's been several years, and I've tried to give up many times, but I always come back to Dick at the last minute. In recent years, I really talked about love twice without telling Dick. Unfortunately, both times ended in failure-however, every time I fell out of love, it just made me feel more inseparable from Dick.

I fell in love with my colleagues in the company for the first time. My colleague and Dick are very different people, very young and sunny, one year younger than me. Colleagues always call me old-fashioned, and drag me to play badminton, sing karaoke and play "killing" games after work. ...

At that time, I didn't refuse his further confession, but within two months, I felt bored-this kind of love is so lacking in distance. Stick to the company all day during the day and stay together after work. Maybe I'm used to being at arm's length with Dick, and I feel breathless with my colleagues. So, I chose to quit my job to escape this relationship.

After the Spring Festival this year, my family almost gave me an ultimatum, so I promised to go on a blind date. Before each blind date, I told myself seriously that I had the right not to give up any chance before Dick gave up his marriage. After all, his promise is still far away.

Just two months ago, I fell in love with my fifth blind date. In the eyes of my parents, he is undoubtedly "worthy" of me-a decent job, a good salary and a good education. I tried to keep a distant relationship with him, hoping that gradually, he could take Dick's place. But I still can't forget Dick ... ...

In an instant, Dick's daughter changed from 6 to 16, and I changed from 2 1 to 3 1. Dick once said that once his daughter came of age, he would file for a divorce ― there are still two years before his wedding. Now I am much more rational, but I really don't want to give up waiting 10 years at this time.

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