The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?"

Confused, the man replied, "Do you have any medicine?"

The people in the car snickered!

The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?"

The man said coldly, "Can it be cured?"

The whole car is hilarious!

The bus driver stopped to lie on the steering wheel and laugh!

Second:

The bus was too crowded, and a woman stood at the door.

A GG pushed from the back of the car to get off and said to the woman, "Sorry, get off."

The woman didn't move.

GG stepped on her when she pushed over.

As a result, the woman was too powerful and kept scolding: "You are crazy! You're crazy! ~ ~ ",loud enough for the whole car to watch.

GG hasn't spoken. When he got off the bus, he couldn't bear it. He turned to the woman and said, "Repeater!"

There are some funny children in the back who have been playing the scene just now.

A said, "You are crazy! ............................... "B" said, "You repeat the machine, and you .............................................."

The whole car burst into laughter ~!

Later, a little MM also got off the bus, squeezed past and said timidly, "I ~ I ~ I want to go down, I'm not crazy ~!" "

The whole car laughed again ~!

The woman didn't speak, and a word came from the side: "Are you out of power?"

The whole car is laughing ~!

One day, Cao Cao arrested Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them: each of you is going to the orchard to choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei took out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can put the fruit in their ass, let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while without success and was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu started stuffing things ... when he stuffed the third one, Guan Yu suddenly smiled, and as a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed. After going to the underworld, the prince asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" "If you don't laugh, you won't die," Guan Yu said with a sigh. I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian ... "

The hunter hunted and saw two birds in the tree. He shot down one with a gun and found it hairless. While he was wondering, another bird flew down and cursed the hunter, damn it, I just coaxed her to take off her clothes and you shot her down. . .

A child in the delivery room smiled after birth, and the midwife was very surprised. When she gathered around to observe, she found that the child's fist was clenched. After breaking it, she found that it was an abortion pill. She only heard the child say: He *! Do you want to kill me? It's not that easy! !

An American, a Frenchman and an China were walking in the desert when they saw a bottle. After opening the cork, a man came out. The man said, "I am a fairy, and I can grant each of you three wishes!" " Americans first said, "My first wish is to ask for a lot of money." The fairy said, "it's very simple, it satisfies you!" Tell me about the second wish. " The American said, "I want a lot of money!" " After the fairy fulfilled his wish, the American said his third wish: "Take me home." The fairy said, "No problem." "So Americans came back to America with a lot of money. The fairy asked the Frenchman again. The Frenchman said, "I want beautiful women! ""The fairy gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman said, "I want more beautiful women!" " The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman finally said, "Send me back to France. After the fairy sent the French back to China, she asked the China people what they wanted. China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is. China people said, "Another bottle of Erguotou! The fairy asked him what his third wish was. China said, "I miss China and Americans very much. Please bring them all back. "France and the United States are very popular, but they are helpless. The three of them have to keep going. Walking, I saw another bottle. When I opened the plug, another man came out. The man said, "I am the younger brother of that fairy just now, and my magic is not as strong as his, so I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you." "The French and Americans think it is better to let China speak first, so as not to be brought back by him later. So China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy realized his wish. The French and Americans urged China people to express their second wish as soon as possible. After drinking Erguotou, China people slowly said to the immortal, "It's all right, it's all right, go away. "

An American, a Japanese and an China are exploring the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "Americans are the first to get the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass. "Mat, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people get down slowly and say slowly, "Come, give me a Japanese mat. "…

The little girl picked up the receiver when the telephone rang. ...

Man: "hello, baby, it's dad." Where's mom? "

Little girl: "Mom and Uncle Chen are in the upstairs room."

The man said a little angrily, "which uncle Chen?" We don't know anyone named Uncle Chen at home! "

Little girl: "Yes, you come to see Uncle Chen every time you go to work."

After a long time, the man said quietly, "Baby, come and play a game with you."

The little girl said excitedly, "Great!"

Man: "Go to the upstairs room first, and then shout" Dad is back! "" "Come back to answer the phone later. "

The little girl did so, and soon she heard a scream. The little girl answered the phone …

Man: "What's wrong with mom?"

Little girl: "mom rushed out of the room when she heard that you were back and accidentally fell down the stairs." Now she doesn't move. "

The man then asked with a little satisfaction, "What about Uncle Chen?"

Little girl: "I saw him jump into the swimming pool from the window of the room, but he seemed to forget that his father put water in order to clean the swimming pool the day before yesterday." Now he is lying at the bottom of the swimming pool, still motionless. "

The man was silent for a moment.

Man: "Swimming in the swimming pool? We have no swimming pool! Excuse me, is the number here xxxxxxxx? "

Little girl: "No."

Man: "Oh, sorry, wrong number."

One day, the devil took the princess away and she kept screaming.

Devil: "You can scream at your throat ... no one will come to save you ..." "

Princess: "Broken throat ... broken throat ..."

No one: "Princess ... I'm coming to save you ..."

Devil: "Speak of the devil and he will come ..."

Cao Cao: "Devil .. Why did you call me ..."

Demon: "Wow ... seeing a ghost"

Ghost: "Shit! Was discovered .. "

Shit: "Ghost, can you see me ..."

Devil: "Oh, my God! 」

God: "Who called me? 」

Who: "Nobody called you ..."

Nobody said, "Where am I? Play dumb! 」

Garlic: "Who is pretending to be me? 」

Who: "It's me again? Are you looking for trouble? 」

Trouble: "which one is looking for me?" 」

Which one: "Looking for you? I didn't ... hey, there are so many people here. "

Many people: "I just arrived … who are you?" ? 」

Which one: "I'm not who."

Who: "He's not me."

Princess: "Is everyone here to save me? 」

Everyone said, "I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the fun."

Lively: "What do I have to see? 」

God: "It's none of my business. Let's go first. "

Devil: "You answer a question before you go. Why do so many people save the princess? " ? I am a demon.

How did Wang play? 」

Go down: "You good devil won't do it, what shall I do?" 」

Princess: "If no one hits the devil, I can go."

No one: "If I play the devil, how can I let you go ..."

How come: "I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the excitement."

Lively: "What are you looking at me for? 」

What: "You want to fuck me? Rogue! 」

How dare you: "I didn't? 」

Me: "What does it have to do with me?" 」

Devil: "Shit! I'm going crazy ... "

Shit: "What am I doing? ...」

Madman: "What do you want me to do? 」

You want me to say, "I don't know anything! 」

I don't know anything: "I don't know! 」

I don't know: "I'm here! Is someone calling me? 」

Someone said, "I didn't call you! 」

I didn't say, "Who called him? 」

Who: "Wrong ... I didn't ..."

I didn't say, "I haven't wronged you ..."

You: "I dare you."

I dare you: "Who says I dare not! ? 」

Who: "please ... I didn't say anything."

I have nothing: "What do you want me to say? 」

I am nothing: "... you ... aren't you my long-lost brother?" ”」

My long-lost brother: "Kao ... my name is very long ... and I will be called."

Ah ... "

Who: "... I want to leave this troublesome place. "

True or false: "So this is my place ..."

I am nothing &; No: "Don't make any noise. We are talking ... "

Don't argue with Allah: "I'm not talking ..."

I didn't: "I didn't speak! ...」

I am nothing: "-_-\ \" ... Let's go ... Let's talk outside ... "

Go: "I'm sorry ... (wriggle)"

I have nothing: "It's none of your business ... Go away ..." (Two brothers go out angrily)

It's none of your business: "Whoops ... why did you kick me out ..."

Why: "I don't want to kick you out ... listen ... don't cry."

I didn't say, "Oh ... What does it have to do with me?"

None of my business: "What? Did anyone call me? 」

Someone said, "Who wants to call you ..."

Who: "I really have to go ... T.T." "

Go: "I'm really embarrassed ... * v.v *" (\ \" Who \ \ "collapsed)

None of your business: "... aren't you my cousin?" ”」

It's none of my business: "... cousins of the same age (or cousins) ... long time no see ..."

For a long time: "I'm not here ..."

Devil: "Are you finished? 」

Endless: "He doesn't have me."

You: "I don't have him."

I just said, "Who said that? 」

Who: "What do you want me to do? 」

Do you want to fuck me? 」

You: "I won't fuck him."

I said, "Who said I wouldn't? 」

Who: "Wrong! I didn't say ... "

He said, "What should I do? 」

? "You two are shameless! 」

You two: "I want it! I want it! 」

Face: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I don't want it."

Devil: "Hurry up, or I'll kick people out."

Man: "Kick me out? Looking for k "

K: "Who wants to see me? 」

Who: "aaaaaaa! Don't mention my name, mention me again! 」

He said, "Don't trust me."

Me: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I finally caught one. Kill it. "

One: "Don't arrest me."

Me: "I've had enough, too. Whoever mentions my name again will never let you go! 」

Who said, "Look at my eighteen dragon palms! 」

Me: "Look at my nine yin bones and claws! 」

Eighteen palms of dragon descending: "What am I to see? 」

Jiuyin Bones Claw: "What am I to see? 」

What's there to see: "Brother, I finally found you! 」

What's there to see? "Brother, let's talk outside."

Devil: "Shit ... this is an engagement meeting ..."

From then on, the devil really got schizophrenia …

The geography teacher asked: Where does the river flow? A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows east! The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky? Students sing again: all the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou! The teacher is short of breath: get out! Student: Just leave! The teacher is helpless: Are you sick? Student: You have it, I have it all! Teacher: Try singing one more sentence! Student: yell for life when you see an uneven road! Teacher: Do you believe I'm playing you? Student: Do it when you should! The teacher was angry: I told you to drop out of school! Student: Wind, wind, fire, Jiuzhou!

Policeman: What are you doing, wandering the street so late!

Miss: Prostitute!

The police are in awe, a burst of worship!

Policeman: Which newspaper?

Miss: It's too late!

Policeman: Which evening paper is it?

Miss: hug the man at night!

Policeman: Good Henan Evening News!

Miss: This thing can only be done at night!

Policeman: It's really hard to rush the manuscript at night! Pay more attention to your health!

Miss: Thank you for your understanding. Welcome to do it.

Policeman: Be sure to contribute, be sure to contribute.

The student climbed over the wall into the school and was caught by the headmaster.

Principal: Why not go to the school gate?

The student pointed to the clothes: Mi Bang Wei, don't take the usual road!

Principal: How did you get such a high wall over?

Students clap their pants: Li Ning, anything is possible!

Principal: What's it like to climb over the wall?

The student pointed to the shoes: Xtep, the feeling of flying!

The next day, the students came in through the main entrance.

Principal: Why don't you climb over the wall today?

The student pointed to the shoes: Anta, I choose what I like!

Principal: Why don't you wear your school uniform?

The student raised his trousers: Sam, wear whatever you want.

Principal: Aren't you afraid that I won't let you into school?

Students clap clothes: a noble bird, no one can stop it.

The headmaster was furious: I want to remember you well!

Student dissatisfaction: Why?

The headmaster sneered: m-zone, my site is my call!

1. A woman bought breakfast with fake money, and the stall owner was annoyed. She said seriously, elder sister, even if you give fake money, it's at least stamps. Your money is actually painted!

You can forget the painting even if you take ten thousand steps back. You can draw ten pieces or five pieces, right? You also draw a set of seven!

3. Seven dollars is seven dollars, so don't say it. At least draw it in color, even with a pencil ~! Forget it, I can't stand it ~! Black and white is black and white!

4. You can't draw with toilet paper! It feels terrible. Even the toilet paper, I recognize it!

You have to trim the edges with scissors anyway. This one was torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated. Well, I don't want to say burr either.

6. But you can also tear a rectangle! This triangle is unreasonable!

As soon as the Chinese teacher turned around, Lu Xun was willing to be a cow.

When the math teacher turns around, she can get six dollars six times.

The English teacher turned around and apologized for adding "three grams of oil".

When the physics teacher turned around, a lever moved the earth.

As soon as the chemistry teacher turned around, carbon dioxide turned into gasoline.

As soon as the political teacher turned around, the whole class sleepwalked.

The geography teacher can swim in Bermuda as soon as she turns around.

As soon as the history teacher turned around, Qin Shihuang came to put the shot.

As soon as the biology teacher turned around, dark clouds covered her head.

As soon as the PE teacher turned around, Daiyu could also play football.

As soon as the art teacher turned around, Mona Lisa became romantic.

As soon as the labor teacher turned around, he came to the runway with broken metal.

As soon as the music teacher turned around, an earthquake of magnitude 8 blew up the earth.

The prince is enchanted and can only say one sentence a year. When he couldn't say five words for five years, he came to the princess and said, "I love you, princess." The princess only answered one sentence and the prince fainted. The princess said, "What?" ?

The funniest names in history: Lai Yuejin (still male), Ji, Li Changfu, Fan Jian, Xia, Zhu Yiqun, Qin Shousheng (I don't know what his parents think), Pang Guangda and Du Ziteng.