2. My wife is pregnant. I called my father to report the good news and said excitedly, Dad, you are going to be a grandson!
3. You gain weight every holiday.
Three catties, take a closer look.
Three kilos. Try hard to lose weight for half a year, and you will succeed in the New Year.
4. The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.
The only reason to hand in the papers in advance is that the people around you are of no use.
It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually
Seven hands
Running naked on eight legs
20 years!
Seven. I am so good that I don't know who will be cheaper in the end.
8. What does this era do? The threshold has become so high. Want to be an otaku, can you afford a house?
9. Once you find that you can't do math, you will skip it. I found that I couldn't stop this jump!
10. It is said that it is a rule that if you dress up and go out, you will never meet someone you like or hate. When you go out disheveled, you will always meet people you like or hate.
1 1. Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is a small fire and marriage is a big fire.
The saddest thing: open the wallet, the big leader is gone, and the people of all ethnic groups are still there.
13. True love is that he can pass by thousands of beautiful women with big breasts and long legs in Qian Qian and see you at a glance.
Fourteen. You can count from numbers.
A billion brothers and sisters stand out, which only shows that you are really the stupidest one. They all know that it is not easy to live in this world.
15. Who said it takes two to make a sound? If I slap you, will it ring?
Since all otaku call themselves Madame Curie, please call me Picasso as an otaku.
The exam was supposed to be a blockbuster, but when it was handed out, I decided to hide my strength again.
18. I used a sack of money to go to college. I changed a sack of books; After graduation, I exchanged these books for money, but I couldn't afford a sack!
19. The latest definition of tourism is to travel from one's own tired place to another's tired place.
two
10. Exams are like getting sick. Depression before the exam, amnesia during the exam. After the exam, my state began to improve. I had a heart attack when I got my test paper back.
2 1. The rich man's wallet is like a flower. Every time he opens it, it makes people smile. The poor man's wallet is like an onion. Every time he opens it, it makes people cry!
22. Women are plump when they are fat, slim when they are thin, slim when they are tall, and delicate when they are short. Men are fat pigs, thin ribs, tall bamboo poles and short wax gourd.
23. My goal in life is
three
When I was ten years old, I owned my own house in Beijing. Now I have finished half of my goal: I have done it.
three
Ten years old.
24. Life is like a cold, cold and hot. There is no panacea that can be cured immediately, but it is not fatal.
If you can't tolerate me, it means you are either too narrow-minded or my personality is too great.
26. It's funny that people always say that I have a bad temper. I wish a good-looking person like me had a good temper.
27. If you have a brother, you are a princess; if you have a brother, you are a man.
Twenty-eight I can't sleep.
There are three reasons: there is a mobile phone in your hand, a fool in your heart, and a cooing chicken in your stomach.
Twenty-nine In junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation. On the podium, he rolled up his sleeves and shouted: Attention, classmates! I'm going to transform.
three
I've known you for a long time, and I haven't given you any benefits. How's this? Leave what you want most in the comments and pay for it yourself.