Dandelion's umbrella floats with the wind, and dandelion's seeds grow where they fall. Life is an accident, and people are also accidents. Whose children to have, where to be born and where to be decided by others. But once a person is born, there are many necessities. One of them is inevitable, and that is there, and only there is home.
At the foot of Yidu Mountain, beside the Yixi River and at the eastern end of Li Si River Bridge, that dilapidated and crumbling wooden house is my home. South to Nanshan Road Mullen, north to Majitang, thirty or forty miles. This area is my hometown. The north-south boundary was drawn with my feet before I was thirteen years old. It was the southernmost and northernmost place I had been before I left my hometown. The sun rises behind the house and sets at the foot of the mountain across the river, which is the time of day. It is here that the sun rises and sets, and my family, my relatives and friends, and my neighbors live.
In the summer when I was thirteen, a big truck left Lisihe with my family of five, carrying beds, boxes, tables and other furniture. The car drove away, heartbroken, and our friends outside chased the car for a long time, and our tears flowed out in the carriage. I don't know when I can come back again to see my aunt and aunt, my cousins, all my dear playmates and all my kind neighbors. I can no longer run happily under this sky, I can no longer go to the fields to cut crops, I can no longer go to the mountains to shoot pig grass and pick vegetables, and I can no longer swim and catch fish in the river. Going to Changde may be a sunshine avenue full of flowers for my parents, but for me, it is uprooted and there is only pain.
I cried for several days before. No matter where I go and what I see, as long as I think I don't belong here anymore, I will cry. Dare not be seen, hiding under the bridge, sitting on the slope covered with stones, watching the quietly flowing river and crying silently. This is the deepest part of the river. I have jumped into the water, swam or caught fish from here again and again. The pier blocked the water, and the water detoured for a while, then moved on. One year there was a flood, and the third pier blocked a bamboo raft. Big waves mixed with yellow passed through the bamboo raft one by one, hitting the pier and being blocked by the pier. The bamboo raft was stuck and kept shaking up and down. The man who supports the bamboo raft can't stand up. If he falls into the river, he will die. In order to save the people on the bamboo raft, Silihe people thought many ways and finally found a long rope as thick as a snake. Several strong men joined forces to hang him on the bridge. When the man came up, he cried and bowed. Several cousins prepared ginger soup for this man. This bridge, these lovely villagers, I will never see it again, and tears will fall again.
I walked up the mountain stream without a vegetable basket or a bamboo basket. I didn't pick vegetables or shoot pig grass. I want to say goodbye. Touch every tree and see every grass and tree all the way. This is the only way I can get the pig grass into the garden. Goodbye, ant on the road, you with long legs. Goodbye, grass, the snake you hid once scared me. I'd rather be afraid than see you. I walked into the vegetable garden and sat on the ridge, remembering the spring, summer, autumn and winter here, the tea I picked, the peppers I picked, Chinese cabbage, cucumber, loofah, pumpkin and beans, and the vegetables I ate here before I grew up. It's hard to eat the vegetables in this garden in the future, and I don't know who will plant and pick the vegetables in this garden after we leave. Perhaps, after we leave, this garden will be neglected. Looking back, I saw other people's vegetable fields, but I couldn't see the top of the mountain or my sweet potato fields. I used to chop wood at the top of the mountain and walk on the ridge of the field. There, I experienced that other mountains were dwarfed under the sky. I saw the scenery near the village, saw the farther route and destination of the Yixi River, and knew exactly what the folk song party was. Sweet potato field, loess surrounded by that stone, sweet potato inserted in spring rain and sweet potato dug in autumn wind, how happy we are in labor. How many sweet potatoes can be planted in that land a year? I don't like sweet potatoes, but if I don't eat them, I will starve to death. That soil not only grows sweet potatoes, but also grows me.
Goodbye, this mountain, this water, this bridge.
Car, drove through Create pond, Luojiawan, Yang Jiacun, Niuti 'ao, entered Caijiazhou, and saw the path that had traveled countless times, which led to my grandfather's house. Thinking about grandpa, I shed tears again. After Cai Jiazhou, the scenery is becoming more and more strange. I have only been to Majitang once. Strictly speaking, I have left my hometown. The crying was almost over, and the three brothers and sisters sitting in the carriage began to chat with their father. "I will speak Silihe dialect all my life." I wonder who said that. Anyway, all three of us have the same idea. Speaking Silihe dialect is Silihe people. Without the Sili River, we are still from Sili River. Dad said, "You can speak Mandarin in the future, but you can't speak Silihe dialect." . How can you not speak Silihe dialect? Silihe dialect is the most beautiful word in the world. Once a young man came back from the army and could speak Mandarin. The whole village thought it was funny and we all laughed. Don't talk about Silihe, are you still from Silihe?
When I arrived at Xidongting Farm in Changde, I insisted on speaking Silihe dialect at first, but others couldn't understand it. I don't want to give up my hometown, but I miss Weng Ma and Li Sihe very much. The flat land of the West Dongting stretches infinitely, without mountains and rivers. How can this be like home? Often a person secretly cries, like a sentimental Lin Daiyu. After a semester, warm and friendly classmates and teachers, as well as interest in learning courses, slowly rescued me from depression. Slowly, Changde dialect became familiar. Even with my family, I stopped speaking Silihe dialect. Li Sihe has become an unreachable corner, sinking into my heart, and I can't think of it easily. Thought of here, I will cry. I drifted far away from my hometown. In the Li Si River, I couldn't catch anything but my thoughts.
One day, the weather was particularly sunny and the air was clearer than ever. I stood in the classroom corridor on the second floor and saw a faint indigo in the distance, like a drooping cloud and a mountain. I quickly asked my classmate next to me, "Do you think that's a mountain over there?" "Yes, it's a mountain. I have been there. " Oh, you can see the mountains here, too. These mountains are the same as Lisi River. Finally, there is something like Li Sihe here. Although it's far away, you can still see it. My heart is actually beginning to settle down. The mountain is there, and I am not far from my hometown. Since then, I often dream about which tributary I entered the border of Lisi River. I'm so satisfied that I remember it when I wake up. At that time, the economy was difficult, and it was not easy to maintain a living with a salary of more than 50 yuan for my father and more than 30 yuan for my mother. I never thought about buying a ticket and going back to Lisihe by car, but I can only go home in my dream.
1983 during the winter vacation, I was a sophomore at Changde Normal University, and I finally made up my mind to go back to Lisihe. The school spends more than ten yuan a month on living expenses, five yuan a month at home, and more than three yuan on the ticket back to Silihe River. Mainly, 15 years old, has been riding back to Xidongting alone for many times, and he is very courageous. As soon as I had a holiday, I bought my own plane ticket and went back to Li Sihe without even telling my parents. The coveted Li Sihe!
The bus departs from Changde South Station in the morning and arrives at Wutan in the afternoon. When I arrived at Wutan Station, the Wutan dialect spoken by the station people was different from Silihe dialect, but there was little difference. My heart is a little damp, and my eyes are a little reluctant. My aunt's mother and aunt's sister are here. Wutan is a familiar place name, close to Majitang. That time, I walked more than ten miles with my friends to Majitang, strolled in the street for a long time and bought a lot of water chestnuts to eat. When I returned to Lisihe, I got on a big truck. As a result, I staggered in the van and vomited all the water chestnut I had eaten. I've never eaten water chestnut again, and I don't like Majitang. But when the car stopped at Majitang Station, I began to get excited. This is the beginning of my hometown. The car continued to drive forward, and the road wound around and passed through a ravine to Caijiazhou. I stood up and stared at the path to grandpa's house that I had walked countless times, and my eyes began to get sour. The car passed Niuti 'ao, and the old houses of Yang Jiacun and Luojiawan were still quietly entrenched in the mountain nest. Soon, soon, we will arrive at Lisihe! Tears came out, and I was embarrassed to wipe them. The car crossed the street of Silihe River, and I met one person after another who was walking on the roadside, and two people sitting on the steps chatting. I know whose home this is and whose home that is. I'm home. I've been away from home for three years. When the car stopped on the bridge, I had stood firmly on the land of my hometown, and no one recognized me. I don't have time to say hello either. I want to see Aunt Weng as soon as possible. As soon as I entered the yard, I called Aunt Weng, who didn't know I would come back. Aunt Weng came out, so I hurried over and hugged her and cried. Dear Aunt Weng, you miss me so much! This is the first hug since I was sensible in my life. I have never hugged anyone before.
I returned to Li Sihe, and Li Sihe appeared in my dream. Bitter homesickness, which has been blocked for three years, poured out, like a flood that crossed the dam, no longer stirring, pestering, beating hard, flowing meekly and slowly, with a kind of joy of being taken back.
This time I went home and cured my almost morbid homesickness.
In the future, I have been to many places, seen many beautiful scenery and thought about my Lisi River. I won't feel sad secretly again, but I have a plenty of sweet peace in my heart. My grandparents, uncles, aunts, aunts, brothers and sisters and neighbors are all here. I can go back if I want.
However, year after year, grandpa, aunt, uncle and mother left one after another. Year after year, there are more and more unfamiliar faces on the streets of Silihe River, and fewer and fewer familiar faces. All the old houses were demolished except my house. The fields on the roadside are full of houses, the team houses are gone, the cowshed is gone, and the trees are gone one by one. Li Sihe is no longer what he used to be.
However, Yidu Mountain is still majestic and silent, Yixi River still flows, and Li Si River Bridge still connects things. Li Sihe will always be Li Sihe, and I will always be a person with a hometown.
2020.4. 10。 Yu Guangzhou