After hearing the news, I overcame many difficulties and prepared to leave the United States and rush back to Taipei. At that time, my daughter said with a sad face, "Mom-if you weren't my mother, I would really call you crazy. How can you leave your children and grandchildren on New Year's Eve? If you go back to the Philippines to spend the New Year with your father, it is ok, but you can go back and ask for seven at this time. What is this? "
I said, "I don't know what's going on? In short, I don't want to miss this opportunity. "
This time, I flew back to Taiwan Province Province from Wan Li on New Year's Eve with the heart of seeking knowledge and verifying. In recent years abroad, Shurangama Sutra has been translated for me. Although I know a lot about theory and interest, I feel useless physically and mentally.
So, this time, I am determined to cross the rubicon. I said to myself, "If I can't prove anything in these seven days, I will never learn Buddhism again and never talk about Buddhism again. No matter how deep the doctrine is and how beautiful the words are, I can still say Zen. What good is this? " I've been hanging on it for five years, but I just can't catch it! I can't touch it! Don't touch it! I can't throw it away, I can't put it down, and I still don't know anything in the end. Isn't this a waste of life? "So, at that time is holding the determination to play seven. He has a bad temper and is stubborn. Teachers often say that I, a woman, how can I be so domineering? Should be softened.
I don't think this is domineering. No matter how others praise me, I don't think I'm smart. Therefore, there is only one way: diligence can make up for it, and it is best to work hard. Therefore, no matter what I study, I will always be one step ahead of others and work harder in line with the principle that the stupid bird flies first. Then I won't fall too far behind others. But I started studying Buddhism too late. I felt that I was the boss and I was more afraid of his life. And take a rest in this life, which is why we are in such a hurry.
Therefore, I made up my mind that during these seven days, I must make this matter clear and make a conclusion.
On New Year's Eve, I arrived in Taipei. The next day, I went through the immigration formalities, borrowed bedding from my friends, paid a New Year call to my teacher without informing any relatives and friends, and then stayed in a hotel calmly, preparing to go up the mountain the next day and go to Mr. Yang Guanbei's villa to "play seven games".
That year, it seemed that I was the only woman among all men.
In the seventh meditation, one day, two days, three days ... passed, and I was very devout and expert. The teacher said Buddhism, and I got the message. I take part in everything the teacher teaches me, and I will do whatever he tells us to do. In those days, I didn't say a word, and I looked like a lawsuit. I didn't say anything or laugh. My friend comforted me and said, "This matter can't be urgent, we should take it slowly." I completely refuted them and said, "Take your time and wait until you die? Or wait until you are so old? "
I am like a mad dog. As long as someone tries to convince me, I will refute it rudely. Even if I don't like the teacher's words, I retort with a straight face. I think just meditation, breathing and listening to scripture, no matter how good it is in theory, can't help you or prove anything. Isn't this still taking Buddhism as a pastime?
At that time, my mood was really bad, and I was in contradiction with all my friends. I either stare at my eyes and lose my temper or sulk with my eyes closed. I don't eat or sleep, and my face is murderous, just like selling beef. This was later described by my colleague.
On the fourth night, someone probably told the teacher that if she was left alone, she might really go crazy. So, the teacher called me.
The teacher said, "What are you doing?"
I said, "I can't answer so many questions from beginning to end."
The teacher said, "Can you explain it like this?" Now, calm down, calm down ... don't think about all the problems, just let it go. "
I stared at the teacher.
The teacher just said, "Calm down and don't think about anything!"
I calmed down, and suddenly, I felt like I was awake, from the top of my head to my heart. I immediately realized that I really realized: "Self-indulgence is bodhi."
All the problems immediately melted and disappeared, and my heart suddenly became clear, and I felt an unspeakable joy, comfort and tranquility, which is hard to say.
I said happily, "Teacher, it's that simple?"
The teacher said, "It's not complicated at all!"
I said, "So ordinary?"
The teacher said, "There are no secrets."
So the teacher told me: "Well, this is the artistic conception, keep it, don't sleep, don't move, keep it."
After the teacher left, I continued to sit for a long time. It suddenly occurred to me that I haven't washed my feet and brushed my teeth yet. I quickly got down from my seat, went to the bathroom, cleaned myself up, and then lay down and fell asleep. I really slept soundly and sweetly.
The next day, early in the morning, the teacher asked me, "What's the matter? How was yesterday? "
I saw the teacher staring at her eyes and saying loudly, "I told you not to sleep and continue to sit down." Why don't you listen? "
I said, "Teacher! I didn't wash my feet and brush my teeth ... "
Before I finished, the teacher yelled at me and said, "This is your cleanliness! This is a habit! This is karma! " Scold a lot.
Hearing this, I don't feel wronged at all. Instead, I said calmly, Teacher, you told the story of the venerable Milarepa yesterday. When he couldn't get down in mid-air, I opened the toolkit given by his teacher. It turned out that he just told him, "delicious food is most needed at this time." In fact, you need a good sleep at this time.
The teacher smiled and said nothing.
That whole day, I sat very well and didn't use any methods. Naturally, I am both worried and full of joy. It seems that everything is the same. Just lying down at night, I suddenly felt the whole belly and navel heat up, just like the dense clouds in the mountains, rolling and spreading, getting denser and thicker, warm and full. Suddenly, an air rushed up from the dense clouds, along my throat, lips, tongue, people, nose and eyebrows, and then divided into three forks, firm and full. I don't know what this is. I'm not afraid, I'm not upset, but I think it's very interesting. I thought: can you come up, can you go down? With this question, "he" really went on. I'll discuss with him again: can I come up again? So, this anger came up again.
I jokingly asked "him": Can you come up from behind? "He" is divided into five branches from the back, along the spine and the back of the head, and then rushed up. In this way, the two airflow tandem, each with a fork, hold my head tightly.
I shook my head, but I couldn't shake him off, but I wanted him to come up, so he came up. If he is asked to step down, he will. I just played with him for a long time and found it interesting and comfortable. Then I went to sleep peacefully.
The next morning, I almost forgot about him. But I shook my head and found that he was still there. Clearly there, this time, I know that "he" is not simple, and immediately ran to the teacher's room to report what happened yesterday.
The teacher immediately ordered the bell to ring and everyone went to the meditation hall. The teacher announced to everyone: let's celebrate together-shooting, ren meridian and du meridian opened together. "
I asked curiously, "What is Ren Mai? Du meridian? What if you get through? "
The teacher said, "The front is Ren Mai, and the back is Du Mai. Other issues, temporarily put down, now, you don't care about anything, just take care of it! "
At that time, I thought to myself: since the teacher announced so solemnly in public, of course it was not possession. Anyway, I am very happy and satisfied now, and I will leave the rest to him!
I just keep sitting, my legs are not tired, my heart is not chaotic, and my stomach is not hungry.
I have been sitting in the afternoon and found that my period is coming, which is very hard. Counting the days, I'm afraid something really happened, so I'll ask the teacher at once.
Hearing this, the teacher said happily, "Great! Hurry up! "
I asked, "What?"
The teacher said, "Kill the red dragon! Is to chop that thing. This is the best time. "
I asked, "How?"
The teacher said, "I'm not a woman. How can I chop people?" You should know by now! "
To tell the truth, cutting the red dragon, like Ren and Du, is the first time I have heard it in my life, and I have no idea how to deal with it. However, my heart was crossed and I thought: The ancients said, "He who listens to the Tao dies in the evening!" " "If you die, die! Leave it alone! If you don't cut it, it's nothing more than a bloody collapse. So although I was at a loss, I quietly walked away. The teacher suddenly came up behind me and said, "Empty it. "Go back to your seat and think: Empty it? I can do it. Yes! Empty it.
As soon as I thought about it, the blood stopped, as suddenly and violently as it came.
Originally, two streams of true qi before and after the body suddenly turned into a torrent when the blood stopped. It turns out that I can let "him" rise and fall at will. At this time, "he" himself became a river, and when he rotated, he could feel a track with something on it, "Chug! Tu-"Mercedes-Benz is on the track, just like a train galloping on a track with three rails.
I went to report to the teacher again: "Now the bleeding has stopped, but my body has changed again. Ren meridian and Du meridian are gone. They are connected into a river, on which there is a small train. Children! Pass the ball "Pass the ball!" It's spinning. "
The teacher said, "Oh dear! How can you be so lucky! It's a blind cat and a dead mouse. This is a river car! Not to change trains. "
I asked, "What is a river car?"
The teacher said, "it's like a river cart used in ancient farming." The farmer stepped on it, turned it and brought the water from the wooden lattice from below. " . Once upon a time, in ancient times, there were no trains, so this phenomenon was called a river-tipping car. "
At this time, it was already the sixth day.
On the seventh day, we finished playing seven, and everyone went down the mountain. My heart is full of joy and satisfaction. I didn't get anything, but I realized the exact meaning of "crazy self-rest, rest is bodhi", and I also understood and believed in "the unity of mind and matter"
Once upon a time, I had to try my best to settle down in meditation, but I still couldn't. Now as long as you sit down, your heart will naturally settle down. I don't have to use spells, recite Buddha, visualize, etc. To get rid of my delusion, and my delusion will naturally disappear.
At this point, I deeply realized that the heart can really affect things, and conversely, things can also affect the heart. And the heart and things are really the same. Actually, I got nothing. I just realized the true meaning of "crazy self-rest, rest is bodhi", and my body has changed a lot.
At the end of the seventh section, I bowed to the teacher and said gratefully, "I have been wandering for twenty or thirty years, and now I have finally found my home." From now on, I won't run around. From now on, I will start to be a vegetarian. " I was a vegetarian when I was a child, and I ate a Confucian vegetarian diet. I ate Buddhist elements today. I am a vegetarian, not to increase my fortune, nor to be afraid of cause and effect. If vegetarianism has any benefits, it will be returned to my old classmate, Mr. Zhang Qijun. Because if it weren't for him, I wouldn't know the teacher. Without teachers, I wouldn't be where I am today.
It has been sixteen years since I became a vegetarian in 1965.
(Selected from "Ye Man Time")