Gold didn't. 1: oral desire period
Age: 3 ~ 6 months ~ 1 year and a half.
Typical characteristics: stuffing everything into your mouth, like sucking your fingers and blowing bubbles.
When the baby is about 3 to 6 months old, the baby's sucking needs become particularly prominent. So, his little hand will put something in his mouth, and the baby will suck his fingers, spit and giggle, and feel very happy about all this. This is the initial expression of baby's sexual desire in the mouth. The baby's mouth is a sexual pleasure area. They not only satisfy their appetite by sucking breast milk, but also get sexual satisfaction from the pleasure of sucking. This phenomenon generally lasts until 1 year or 1 year and a half.
Teach the law of war: give your baby enough love and warmth to meet the development needs of your baby's skin and touch.
The contact between mother and child can increase the sensitivity of children's nervous system and promote the differentiation and development of children's brain. Children who have insufficient physical contact with adults will suffer different degrees of damage to their intelligence and sexual sensitivity.
The mother's breasts are the source of baby's sexual pleasure. If babies are weaned early, their appetite will not be satisfied. When you grow up, you may suffer from neurosis such as thumb sucking, nail biting, bedding biting, handkerchief biting, or oral desire attack (such as biting, swearing, sarcasm, obscenity, obscene words, etc.), which will affect the development of mental health.
In the process of feeding children, parents' proper behavior can make children realize that they are concerned and learn to respect and care for their bodies.
Try to breast-feed your child and treat him wholeheartedly and gently when breastfeeding. It is important for him to feel the sense of security brought by his parents. This kind of care can help him get rid of his attachment to the nipple as soon as possible.
If you are afraid of your baby biting your fingers, don't force it. You can consider giving your baby a pacifier to meet his oral needs.
When changing diapers, you must communicate with your child patiently and gently to make him realize that his body is "good" and his excretion behavior is normal. On the contrary, it will send a wrong message to the child and make him feel sick.
Golden period 2: hazy period
Age: 1 ~ 2 years old
Typical characteristics: looking for gender differences.
Generally, children will notice the physical differences between men and women from the age of 1 ~ 2. With the development of language ability, children aged 2 ~ 3 will ask adults some embarrassing questions, such as "Why doesn't my sister have a penis?" "Where was I born?" They may also be interested in their own feces, if their children encounter psychological setbacks during this period, or in their later psychological development (until adulthood). This period is a good time to train children to go to the toilet, but we must pay attention to ways and means to prevent children from having an incorrect understanding of their own bodies and forming abnormal sexual repression.
Teaching rules: let children learn to love their bodies and understand the difference between men and women as soon as possible.
During defecation training, children often have "accidents". If adults lose patience and yell at children, children will have negative feelings about their bodies. If parents can adopt a tolerant and patient attitude, it will help children form a healthy body consciousness.
1.5 years old is a very good opportunity to educate children about sex and physiology. If possible, you can even let boys and girls of the same age take a bath together, let them identify their differences in physical structure naked, and encourage them to observe how the other person is different from themselves.
Parents can naturally explain the various parts and functions of the child's body according to the child's understanding, treat the child's body with care and appreciation, let him know his body as soon as possible and learn to treat his body correctly.
Golden period 3: sexual bud period
Age stage: 2 ~ 4 years old
Typical characteristics: looking for gender differences.
Children enter the sexual budding period at the age of 2 ~ 4, and sex education in this period is the basis of later sexual maturity. Many children start playing with their genitals at the age of 2, which is a sex game for them. Some children play with genitals earlier. In this case, parents should never be hard on their children.
Teaching rules: let children treat their private parts in the right way.
A better way to prevent children from playing with genitals is to wear open-backed pants and arrange colorful activities for children every day in order to divert his attention.
If a child touches his genitals in public, don't severely reprimand him to stop his behavior. This may make him have a bad opinion of his body. Therefore, the best way to meet such a thing is to tell the child that that place is his secret and cannot be seen by others. This will not make the child feel ashamed of his body, but also teach him a behavior that conforms to social norms.
Parents can choose the right time in their daily life to let their children know: which parts of his body should not be exposed, not those bad parts; What is not suitable for public places, but can be done in the bathroom or your bedroom; Some things men and women should do separately, and so on.
Golden Stage 4: Attachment Period
Age stage: 4 ~ 6 years old
Typical features: The plots of "Oedipus" and "Oedipus" began to appear.
Children in this period began to "fall in love", and the first goal was his heterosexual parents, also known as Oedipus complex. This complex is common in the development of children's sexual psychology, and it is suppressed in the subconscious. In the future, it can not only be manifested as falling in love with the elderly, but also become the psychological source of various mental diseases (including neurosis, schizophrenia and endogenous depression) and their symptoms.
Teaching code: a warm and happy family will have a far-reaching impact on children and is a good sexual role model for children.
Parents should handle the relationship well and give their children a warm and happy family environment. If the relationship between parents is tense, children can easily become the object of anger and resentment from one or both parents. Because they are too young and lack social experience, children lack the ability to correctly judge the cause of things, and often blame themselves for the bad relationship between their parents. When I grow up, I become confident, timid, cowardly, withdrawn, imprisoned, depressed and even suicidal.
Same-sex parents are models of children's gender awareness, while heterosexual parents are models of children's learning and getting along with the opposite sex, which plays an important role in children's growth. Therefore, both the mother and the father should actively cooperate to jointly raise the children and give them a good growth environment. When the children are older, parents of the opposite sex should pay attention to their discretion when getting along with their children, and not be too intimate, so as not to lead to the formation of imperfect personality.
The fifth period of gold: the hidden period
Age: 6 ~ 12 years old
Typical characteristics: pseudohomosexuality.
Children enter sexual latency from 6 years old to 12 years old. At this stage, the child's sexual psychology is relatively calm. At this stage, boys like to keep company with boys and play some fierce and risky games, while girls like to play gentle games such as dancing and jumping rubber bands with other girls. This kind of "pseudo-homosexuality" does not have the sexual consciousness and desire of adults, but it may also be the psychological root of homosexuality when sexual psychological development encounters setbacks in the future.
Teaching and war rules: don't shy away from any sexual issues. Let children learn to respect themselves and others' bodies.
The sooner you talk to your child about sex, the better. The most appropriate way to conduct sex education for preschool children is to give appropriate responses to children's questions or related behaviors in peacetime and do it imperceptibly.
It will give the child a hint that once there is a sexual problem, he can get it from his parents without other means. It is not a shameful thing to talk about sex.