De Chong Fu is basically about a loser, or a strange man in the eyes of the world-not very beautiful, not very healthy, not very rich, but it is a super attractive story collection.
Many times, I vaguely feel that this represents a psychological expectation of Zhuangzi.
Many times, we will use our own developed theories to make our life look better, more philosophical, more meaningful and more complete. Therefore, I once thought that DeChongFu was Zhuangzi's "spiritual makeup" and the "soul version of Mitoxiu" of his own life.
However, with the deepening of my research on Dove, I vaguely perceive a new situation: no matter what our appearance looks like, we vaguely feel that we are not good enough, we are "brain-dead", we are not beautiful enough, we are not rich enough, and we are not smart enough. ...
If this is the deep concern of many people today, you will find that Zhuangzi has given us a better wisdom and method-get carried away and get carried away.
Forget your appearance-whether you have acne, thick legs, a little big belly, and a bad son ... these are our external "appearances".
If a person can slowly discover that his appearance is only a series of illusions and is caused by a series of past habits, he may be able to transform his life into a brand-new state-he can ignore all this.
People who bring their own quiet charm will make others feel attractive. Often found at the dinner table, no one spoke for a while. In this silent process, it can actually reflect whether everyone present is full of heart.
In fact, there are always some people who can't help but speak first and break the stiff air that makes him feel uncomfortable. But the question is, why don't some people feel particularly uncomfortable about this matter? Even if everyone was silent, he was not embarrassed by the so-called silence.
I think the difference is that the latter is more self-sufficient. He doesn't have such a strong judgment and emotional reaction to what happened outside; I don't have such high requirements about what kind of state I should be in; He felt that he should not play the role of a dinner leader or an active atmosphere. He just stayed there quietly and happily.
Then, something strange happened. People who talk in a hurry will vaguely feel that they are neither eager to express nor eager to listen; People who can neither take out their mobile phones nor stare blankly are full of a wonderful charm.
This kind of charm is probably the kind of quiet charm. It is probably that you suddenly find that there is a person who can make his frequency harmonious with the whole space and make you feel comfortable.
I later found that this is actually a very elegant personality quality, because it can be extended to almost all other scenes in our lives.
For example, after some attraction, entanglement, conflict and various karma, two people become husband and wife. When these two people are behind closed doors, maybe one day there is nothing to say, or nothing special to say. The person who has the ability to feel at ease in silence is like an agarwood lit in the room, releasing oxygen for the soul for a long time, so that you can calm down and naturally learn to get along with yourself.
You have no strong desire to discuss anything with him, you don't need to take care of him, and you don't need him to take care of your emotions at any time. You just think that when he gets along perfectly with himself, he is infected by his atmosphere and he naturally learns to get along with himself.
This self-contained quiet ability is so valuable that once you come into contact with someone with this ability, you will find that he has a strong attraction to you.
In DeChongFu, almost all the characters, whether Shen Tujia or Wang Qian mentioned at the beginning, seem to be so-called physically disabled or unattractive people, but they all have this ability and people are attracted by them.
One day I said to my son, "Who will you choose between the person you like and the person who likes you in the future?" He asked me, "Who should I choose?" As soon as I saw my son's eyes, I knew he might already have such troubles. Maybe it's a projection from my heart. I told him to choose gentle people and people who are not tired of getting along with themselves.
A person is not tired to get along with himself, and you are not tired to get along with him; A person who makes you feel tired getting along with him must be a person who works hard with himself.
How to be a charming person in life: learn to be self-sufficient and not annoying. If our parents can help their children learn to stand on their own feet in various ways when they are very young, then he will receive the most precious gift in life-he will become a person who does not hate himself, a person who is not secretly hated by others, and then become a charming person.
It's that simple. It's so simple that you think it's a little incredible.
In the future, people will be more and more closely integrated with machines and kidnapped by the network society. Your words and deeds will be photographed by the camera, recorded by your friends, and will become a credit score. At this time, the most important happiness of people is to be free from interference from others, which is a valuable wealth in life.
We can imagine that when a person was a child, he went out with his parents to meet friends. His parents have been talking about international politics and economy, real estate investment, Buddhist art and, of course, playing mahjong. ...
But the children looked at them quietly, without being in a daze, playing games, losing their temper or feeling bored. He just looked at the adults calmly and didn't comment on how much you like the child.
If this child grows up to be your boyfriend, when you complain to him about how stupid the company leader is and how cunning his colleagues are, this person will be by your side, neither affirming nor denying, listening enthusiastically, maybe nodding, or just looking at you, without anger or impatience. He just listens, and you will think how good such a person is.
If this person becomes a parent, what do you say to him when you go home, or if you don't say anything when you go home, he won't chase you or educate you-he forcibly shares his life experience and doesn't force you to get married.
He doesn't even compare you with others, and he doesn't tell you how hard his life used to be, or he and other old people are unhappy because they were treated unfairly in nursing homes or neighborhood committees, or the salary distribution in the unit is uneven.
Later, such people became old people. He didn't forcibly share his life wisdom in front of the younger generation, nor did he tell you all kinds of fitness secrets, nor did he thank you for coming to see him, but he showed some kind of compassionate silence on your arrival.
You play cards with him and he plays with you; You go home in the name of seeing him, don't talk, eat fruit and watch TV, but he doesn't chase you to finish all these fruits, and he doesn't insist on stuffing you with anything when eating ... He doesn't say anything, doesn't do anything, "does nothing". How do such grandparents make their children, grandchildren and daughter-in-law feel good? Being unattractive is the main source of a person's charm.
If you think about it seriously, isn't this scene shared with us by Dechong House? A person may be old and ugly, poor and disabled ... but you can't nag and bother others, just keep quiet. This is not fake, but sincere, because you get along well with yourself-the original charm only comes from such a simple truth.
When I look at Telford again and again, my heart is filled with joy again and again, because I think I should finish all my self-righteous things before I am fifty or even forty-five.
I believe that after I was 50 or 60 years old, I never had the bad habit of forcibly sharing wisdom with others. I no longer talk about gout and insomnia; There is no need to please any old lady-except the young one.
At that time, it was not much different from me that others had money and no money. Because I already know that people will not give it to me even if they have money, and I will not think about how those who have no money are entangled. I know people are poor, and I don't sympathize with them, nor do I make any emotional judgments on them.
Well, I don't think such an old man would be too annoying if he wasn't in poor health.
When we can be simple, quiet, not too smart or too stupid, everything will come back.
"People can always be quiet, and heaven and earth belong to each other"-if we can always be quiet, the power of everything in heaven and earth will come back to you. This kind of tranquility is more often inner peace, justice, security and harmony.
Realizing ourselves and then letting go is the most important lesson in our life.
This is the power of de Chongfu.
This is just Liang's private notes. There must be some inaccuracies. Please correct me.
The above content is from Liang Zhu's Zhuangzi.
If you still want to know:
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