Hello friends, I am 34 years old and have been masturbating for 22 years. I'm abstaining from alcohol for 323 days now, and I broke it once every 107. Now there is no nocturnal emission for more than 70 days.
The last few days don't mean anything. My abstinence from color has just begun, because abstinence from color is a lifelong thing, a kind of cultivation, a noble cause to distinguish between people and animals, and a habit worth practicing and benefiting for a lifetime!
repent
Looking back on the 34 years I have gone through, I am ignorant, selfish, greedy, indulgent, degenerate, cowardly, poor and despicable, and I live a hellish life, all of which is given by lewdness!
My family is in the countryside, a peasant family in China. My parents are simple, hardworking and simple. I was born on May 8, 1980 in/kloc-0. I am the third in my family, with one sister and one brother. Because it is the smallest, parents love it the most. In the 1980s, rural materials were still scarce and living conditions were not good, but the delicious food and drinks at home were always left to me. When I was about six or seven years old, my family raised a flock of sheep, all of which were raised in the mountains. My brother naturally became a shepherd when he was thirteen or fourteen! I'll go crazy, too. Six or seven cousins as old as my brother also tend sheep. We are a family village, and that time was also the happiest time of my childhood, with green mountains and green waters, blue sky and white clouds.
When I was nine years old, we moved, although it was also in the countryside, but our family went out of the mountains and went to a place where we could eat enough steamed bread. Those nine years in my hometown have become my best memories, so pure, pure and beautiful! Blink of an eye, I 12 years old. I remember when I was in the fifth grade of primary school. Children there like to raise silkworms in spring, that is, to raise silkworms in small boxes and pick mulberry leaves to feed them until they spin cocoons and lay eggs after mating. I have one too. When the silkworm moth mated, my lower body was restless and stiff, and I caught a few handfuls, but yellow liquid flowed out. A sense of pleasure struck my heart like electricity, leaving a deep mark. I am no longer pure, the gates of hell opened, so the slut quietly possessed me, the good God left me, and a beast was born, and evil karma was planted, waiting for me. Since then, I have changed, and I am extremely greedy for that pleasant experience. At home, in the toilet, in the wild, in the field, in the field, there are my lewd figures everywhere, and I know that many people must have found out. My study plummeted, I got mixed up with some people who didn't study well and fell in love with playing video games. At that time, there were no Internet cafes, only desktop video games. I had no money, so I sold my family's food while my parents were away!
After several years of fornication, some symptoms began to appear, such as wet scrotum, cold penis, insomnia in the second day of junior high school, but I couldn't sleep. My mind was like a movie, thinking about things one after another, and insomnia continued until now! People become wretched and feel inferior, and basically dare not talk to girls. When they go to physical education class, they start to sweat, and the PE teacher specifically said so. Third grade is basically like dementia. I can't learn at all, and I swear to learn. My brain is like paste. I can't learn, I can't concentrate, and I feel panic after sitting for a long time. None of the above is considered to be caused by masturbation. I have been masturbating for nearly ten years, and I seem to feel the harm. I started taking medicine. The most eaten is Liuwei Dihuang Pill, and I am interested in all drugs for tonifying kidney. In 2004, under the introduction of a friend, I found a sales job in Shenzhen, that is, distributing leaflets. Because of my introverted personality and obscene image, it is a huge challenge for me, and I dare not go forward and hand out leaflets. A supervisor named Wu taught me carefully and gave me a demonstration, which made me break through the psychological barrier and improve my confidence. At work, I got to know the first masterpiece in my life, the greatest salesman in the world. If I get the treasure, I will be full of power and have the desire to conquer the world! I'm not who I used to be. I have a new life! I will lead an honest and clean life and control my body. I will never indulge my physical needs. I will never fall into the abyss of despair and evil! As long as you want to succeed, failure will never knock you down! An oath is overwhelming and inspiring! The slut smiled contemptuously! At work, my personality has become much more cheerful and smooth, and I am also very measured in treating people. However, no matter how hard I tried, I didn't get much improvement. Finally I left, because I never gave up my lewdness! But I am deeply grateful for those days, which at least improved my upward enthusiasm!
In 2004, I became a prostitute for 10, and went home in 2008. My mother didn't know me, and said that I was too old to look like, and I was sweating after two steps. It is not as good as my 60-year-old father's body, eyes Qing Wu, eyes like the eyes of a dead fish, and no mention of marriage. Being alive is not bad. My classmates, friends and neighbors stopped coming and going, and I lost the ability to communicate with others. I really became a lonely person and an animal! After a few years at home, I went out to wander again. In Ann, staying in a hotel with 10 yuan, I began to think about the future, or how to die. I was surprised, too. I can't cry in that state, but I can't cry if I want to. I haven't seen tears for years! Looking back on my miserable life, I was led by the nose by lewdness step by step and went to the abyss. If more people can call me an animal, it will alleviate my sin and awaken new people to know the harm of prostitution! 20 13 12.23 began to stop color. In the second half, I will share with you my experience of abstaining from color. I really appreciate abstinence. Come on!
The days of debauchery passed year after year, and the time came to 20 13, 10. When I was looking for information about quitting smoking in Baidu, I found a post saying there was a quit bar with 100 thousand people. The person who posted it said that he was also troubled by wine and color for more than a year, and he really bowed. I don't know which brother posted it, grateful, grateful.
I looked it up in Baidu, and it is true that there is abstinence. At that time, more than 90 thousand people read some posts and were very moved. They plan to resign. The first time I quit 2 1 day, it broke, because I couldn't play posts and didn't have an account. They just looked at Baidu and didn't believe they could quit. Symptoms at that time, insomnia, less sleep, more difficult to fall asleep after masturbation, inexplicable headache, tinnitus, wet scrotum, short penis, like a child's penis, penis chills, impotence, premature ejaculation, premature ejaculation occurred ten years ago, frequent urination, endless urine, long foreskin, profuse sweating, physical exercise, sweating like rain, obesity,1.60. Most importantly, I have lost the ability to communicate with others, and I can't see others. I feel unnatural when I see people I know more than ten meters away, and I don't like being with people. When I face several people, I feel inexplicable fear. This is fear, not ordinary fear.
I heard that release is very useful and I want to get better soon. One day, I came back to my dormitory from work and met a fish seller. This fish is not very big. I reluctantly bought four fish and spent 1 1 yuan to set them free in the river not far away. This is my first release. I sincerely hope that my state can be better and I can get along well with my colleagues. Unexpectedly, I was scolded by the foreman at work that night. I also began to doubt the release, so I went to the Internet cafe to check the release information. I saw a big release video organized by the Mid-Autumn Festival in a temple. At the end of the release, the fish lined up to thank them and surrounded themselves with a big moon cake and a six-character character. I was in tears, and the video 13 minutes. I watched it again, and tears came down again, deeply feeling the meaning of release and strengthening my determination to release. Suggest that the newly released friends watch this video! I haven't shed tears for years, and I don't know why. After watching this video, I can't stand it. Later, I stepped up my efforts to release 50 yuan at a time, bought fish and shrimp and ran to the river to release them. Just read amitabha. After the release, the spermatorrhea decreased significantly, from three or four times a month to two times later. I'm mostly from wet dream. Once, I had a dream that I touched the hard scales of the fish and woke up at once. It suddenly occurred to me that releasing fish and shrimp saved me from a bullet. I once had a dream that I would definitely have nocturnal emission. (Editor's Note: The released video is called "Thanks for releasing the fish to perform in the queue collectively", which can be found in Baidu)
The color stopped for more than 120 days in July of 20/4. I've been idle at home for too long, so I think it's time to go out to work. Being busy should be better, so I went to Jiangsu. It's hot and the factory is in the off-season, so it's hard to find a job. The interview at the factory gate will be cancelled for no reason, several times in a row. I have to accept my fate. My blessings have been exhausted, and I can't even find the most tired job. 300 yuan is the only person left on me, so I thought, as I should do, I can't persist if I persist. I went to the vegetable market to buy some shrimps and let them go. Being unfamiliar with geography, I ran around with my bag on my back, and I was so tired that I was sweating. When I reached the river, I died. I sat by the river and burst into tears. I calmed down and got up and left.
On the third day, I found a job. Since then, my body has slowly recovered, like a roll of silk. I began to pay attention to releasing it and understood some principles and methods of releasing it. I 1.68 m 180 kg, which shows how fat I am. I eat without restraint and have no meat. Let go, brother. Tell me: if you don't eat vegetarian food, you'll get what you deserve. I am on the horns of a dilemma. It is more difficult for me to quit meat than color. Besides, the factory is so tired that I can't work hard without meat, and no one specially cooks vegetarian dishes for me! But I have resistance to meat in my heart. It will be released once a week on rest days, and once released, it will rise to more than 100. When the color stops for more than 140 days, nocturnal emission suddenly stops, and at least twice in the previous month. There is no spermatorrhea this month 15, no spermatorrhea on the 20th, and no spermatorrhea for a whole month on the 30th. Let me review my brother's advice and let go. If you eat meat freely, you will always eat up your merits. I decided to give up eating meat. When I went to the dining hall, I only brought vegetables and tofu, braised pork, chicken legs and fish, which was very attractive. Sometimes I feel uneasy when I just eat meat and let it out.
It's not easy to quit meat. For a big fat man like me, I just feel relieved after eating meat. Later, I gradually felt guilty, but I couldn't quit eating meat. What should I do? In the end, I was cruel and boastful. I spent 750 yuan. Although the money is not much, it is not too small for a person like me who spends 3000 yuan a month. After that, I never eat meat again. The miracle happened again. My weight began to drop rapidly, and I lost 20 kilograms in three months. I never go on a diet, but I don't eat meat. I can't explain this clearly Now it's 160 kg. I don't have any spermatorrhea anymore. I haven't had nocturnal emission for more than 70 days. I feel warm every day, my eyes are firm, my social fear is much better, my scrotum is moist, and the most gratifying thing is that my sleep has been greatly improved. Although I sleep for 5 or 6 hours every day, I wake up very refreshed. Of course, many symptoms have not fully recovered, such as tinnitus and urinary incontinence. By the way, the headache is gone and the erection is normal! Work is very tiring, and I have to work the night shift for a month. I can't do any exercise. (Editor's Note: I admire the courage of this quit friend. If he can make more efforts in health care, I believe he can recover better. Working at night is very harmful to your health. For patients with nocturnal emission, it is best to choose a job with normal work and rest, so that physical recovery will be accelerated. )
My story is almost finished, and the ending is a little urgent There is no end to abstinence. The experience I share with you is: release, be vegetarian and work hard.