Theoretically speaking, it is not a "title party", and the framework of the whole book is very clear. The first part introduces the causes of stress and its advantages and disadvantages in detail. The second part helps us to relieve stress from seven angles.
But the score of this book in Douban is not very high. The reason is that there are too many repetitions, and some chapters are too rich in chicken soup, which makes people feel a little disgusted. Nevertheless, there are still many highlights in this book that are worth digging deeply, and the first reading has been fruitful.
- 1-
Before we start sharing, let me show you a picture.
How to understand this picture?
The content in the picture can be simply divided into three parts, stimulation, free choice and response.
Stimulation means events that bring us negative emotions, such as an argument, a speech ... Usually, an argument will make us angry and even do some irrational behavior. The speech on the stage also made most people feel nervous and the pressure increased sharply.
But this book tells us that there is still an important connection between stimulating events and our reactions: freedom of choice. That is to say, there is a gap between any event that makes you nervous and your reaction, and this gap is the key to help us reduce stress and live a stress-free life.
The way to change it is to extend the gap time. Legend of Wulin is a lot of memories of post-80s and post-90s. Guo Furong in the play is a typical bad temper. In order to change Guo Furong, the scholar let her watch it once before getting angry: "The world is so wonderful, but I am so grumpy, which is not good, not good."
This is the same principle as meditation before getting angry 10. The purpose is to help us extend the gap time (free choice of time), so as to reduce the pressure brought by negative emotions and avoid irrational behavior.
-2-
Time is the best way to solve problems, but it takes too long and consumes too much energy. Therefore, when we learn how to deal with the stress caused by unexpected events, how to reduce the harm caused by chronic stress is the focus of this paper.
In the seventh principle in the book, the author puts forward many practical methods for us from four dimensions: consciousness, body, spirit and society/emotion. Let Xiao Jiu share them with her own practice.
The first dimension: consciousness
1) image guidance
In Poor Charlie's Collection, the author tells the story of a flight simulator. Theoretically, a pilot must fly a plane if he really wants to fly in the blue sky, but it seems to be an unsolved problem to let a pilot with no driving experience fly a plane with great risks. However, the solution is to solve this problem by simulating the flight state through a flight simulator.
In most cases, we are stressed because we are too worried about the future. Friends who are worried about the failure of speech, when you practice in front of the mirror enough times, when you become more experienced, the pressure brought by speech will be reduced; Candidates who are worried about failure usually do more sets of simulation questions. By studying the real questions, they can find many rules, take fewer detours and be more calm in the examination room.
Simulate and imagine the future, and try and make mistakes at the least cost. This is the charm of image guidance.
2) Meditation
Meditation is a very hot topic. I've seen many kinds before, but I always feel mysterious and difficult to put them into action. But in fact, meditation is very simple. All you need is a spell. For example: "Silence, relaxation, calmness …", any word that can make you feel relaxed can be used as a spell, and the two-word word is more effective.
How to operate specifically?
① Find an undisturbed place, sit in a chair, close your eyes and sit still for 30 seconds;
② Then slowly start to take a deep breath, repeat it every 3-4 seconds, and slowly start to recite your mantra 10-20 minutes in your mind. If you find yourself distracted, don't worry, just remind yourself to pull your attention back to the spell.
(3) Don't get up immediately after meditation, and slowly return to a normal awake state, which takes about 2 minutes.
3) Focus
Mindfulness can be simply understood as focus, focus on the present and focus on the present.
We always feel great pressure, but in fact, most of the pressure can't be solved now. For example, my to-do list today includes: listening to three math video lessons, completing a reading note and updating it, and sharing the second lecture content of the time management micro-lesson.
Most of the time, we are always doing the immediate work, but we are worried about another thing. For example, when I listen to math videos, I always want to sort out the materials and make reading notes, which leads to prolonged class time and greatly reduced efficiency.
We always mix too much past or future things into the present, cling to the past and the future, but forget that the past has become a reality and the future needs to be changed now.
All we can do is pay attention to the present and enjoy it. Through mindfulness, you can shield the pressure from the past and the future, thus reducing the negative impact of stress.
The second dimension: body
How you treat your body, the body will treat you. Don't think that just because you are young, you can use your body to achieve the success you want. You know, we can't afford some expenses! I am eager to use my body, and most of the successes I get from working overtime are vulnerable. When I was young, I bought money with health, but when I was old, I was destined to buy life with money. To be fair, the former may not be able to do it, and so is the latter.
1) Cardiovascular exercise
Walking, running, swimming, etc. , 3-5 times a week, develop the habit of fitness exercise.
2) Take a nap
Life is not a sprint, but a marathon. Learn to relax, learn to rest, rest after work, do a set of lumbar stretching exercises or eye exercises, and replenish energy in time.
Go to bed early and get up early, and form a good habit of work and rest. Keep at least 7 hours of sleep every day, and be alert to the pressure caused by long-term lack of sleep.
On the question of improving the quality of sleep, I found a good answer on Zhihu: Do nothing but sleep in bed, which is the place to sleep.
3) Yoga
Yoga practice has a history of thousands of years. A lot of practice has proved that yoga can effectively relieve headache and back pain, and it is recognized as a decompression activity.
The third dimension: spirit
1) reading
When you are stressed, try to pick up a book and keep reading for 6 minutes. According to a study by a British university, when people sit down to read a book of interest, after only 6 minutes, 68% of the respondents feel obviously relaxed.
The reason why reading makes us feel less stressed is that in the process of reading, we concentrate on reading and ignore the external tension, thus reaching a state of mindfulness.
2) Listening to music
Like reading, research shows that listening to music can reduce people's average tension by 665,438+0%. Among them, classical music has better decompression effect than other music, and classical music in Baroque era is a good choice.
3) Pursuit of interests
This word is a bit uncommon. Combining life experience is to learn to comfort yourself. Learn to find the positive side in pressure, failure and frustration, learn to be grateful, and learn to discover the beauty of life. Meet the unknown challenges with a positive attitude.
The fourth dimension: social/emotional
1) Serve others
Give someone a rose, and the hand has a lingering fragrance. I met a couple by bus yesterday. One was dragging a big woven bag. They are going to take XX bus to a factory, but the bus they take can't go straight and they need to reverse in front. Because there were too many people, they forgot to get off at the place the driver told them and missed the transfer point. The quickest way is to get off now and go back one stop.
Because I had been on this bus before, I thought there would be another transfer point at the first two stops, so I told the couple not to get off and just follow me. As a result, because of the lane change, the vehicle turned directly at the intersection ahead and went further and further.
Leaving me with a puzzled face, I realized that others had pointed out the wrong direction. Thinking that they were strangers when they went out to work, and worried that they couldn't find a place to get off, they took a taxi to the designated bus stop sign.
I'm embarrassed to give someone the wrong way to apologize. The two of them are very simple, and they keep saying that they met a good man, but they embarrassed me. In fact, things are very small, but when I help others, I also gain a different kind of beauty.
2) Contact friends
You don't like sending short messages in groups, and it's too much trouble to customize editing. So you start to "cold treat" your friends and say nothing until you finally forget them.
Set aside a fixed time every week to socialize, go to parties, have dinner with three or five friends, or watch a movie.
Don't try to get rid of stress completely, get along with it. The correct way is to learn to be with pressure, adjust pressure, relieve pressure, and even "use" pressure. Next time you are stressed, you might as well try the above method. I hope everyone will start a stress-free life as soon as possible.